above the dust of the stone slabs of Hardrad, part 1

I wanted to be first. All the girls said something wonderful was about to happen.

Aael was probably the only competitor I truly had to fear. I had already mastered the secrets of the meang enough to choose the shortest route. I had been competing in races since I was five. All the men in our village did it until their wedding day. Someone said that only a man who had never known a woman could win.

This race was special. We called it the Wheel of Life. It consisted of two parts: the Small Wheel and the Great Wheel. The Great Wheel took place every seven years. Its winner and the second-place finisher stayed in the monastery for life. Every three years, the Small Wheel took place. After that, only the winner remained in the monastery. Every 21 years, the festivities overlapped. That was when the Sun Festival and the Wheel of Life race took place. All the men started in the Small Wheel, and the next day, the ten best men went on to the Great Wheel.

On the first day, I didn't turn right like the young competitors. I headed straight for Maraguti. The statue followed the oracle's decree; few could pass it if the verdict was unfavorable. Only Aael and Meran ran behind me. The latter overtook and reached the statue first. He set the wheel in motion. Thousands of possibilities passed the answer windows, but only one was the right one. The door closed before us, and we heard a scream. Then, slowly, the stone slabs rose upward. The inscription above the entrance read: "If you are not ready to meet your fate, do not enter." Meran's body lay in a pool of blood, riddled with hundreds of thorns; the answer window held the sentence. Mhat. Mhat – loss of body. Only the body, blessed as it is, has achieved what all the competitors desired. To die in the race. His body will be found by the priests tomorrow and burned. Only after the festival is over will the family be able to mourn.

Competitors rarely died during the Little Wheel. This cycle will be considered exceptionally successful. Blood is considered sacred in Moyen, and whoever dies during the races is considered equal to the ancient warriors who fought to capture slaves as sacrifices to the gods.

By law, the next move was mine. I ran in first. After a few turns, the wheel stopped at the Mohr sign. I will run through the Valley of Skulls. It's an easy route if you run it during the day. Apparently, when you hit it at night, the situation is different. They say no one ever left the Valley of Skulls alive at night. I set off quickly, not waiting for Aael's sentence. I ran. I controlled my breathing. I ran past skulls impaled on wooden darts and slowly climbed the path winding around the slope. All to retrieve the stones from Tain. I took the blue one; someone had already taken the second one, the red one. Even if I don't win tomorrow, I will always be proud of having won the red one. I ran down the yellow route; it was more difficult, but much shorter. I saw Adaein of Tamind running along the blue route. He didn't have a red stone, only a green one. So he was third. He must have been running very fast to catch up. He had no chance of getting ahead of me. Tomorrow he'll have less strength. Today doesn't matter. Everything will unfold tomorrow.

I arrived second at the temple gates. I expected to find Aael there, but Adanael of Mahori turned out to be the first. He was exhausted. He moved quickly along the left path. Rarely did competitors who chose this route win. Normally, he would have become a priest, but today he simply had a false start.

Young women arrived unexpectedly. The priest selected one for each of us. They weren't from the foothill villages. None of us knew them. Silent prayers began.

"These 10 young men will dedicate their first night, and perhaps their last, to the goddess Emawati. Once every 21 years, a mystery is fulfilled, so that you may face your destiny and fulfill the sacred mystery.

Most of us have never had a woman. Except perhaps Aael." He only smiled as he listened to the priest's words. He believed in nothing. Nothing was sacred to him. He treated the race, a symbol of the triumph of work over untamed, wild nature, as mere entertainment. I won't let him win. I can't let him.

The women took care of us like those legendary whores from the lowland city. They knew the physiology of men and how to force us into service. I don't know what to call it. An emptiness, an unpleasant feeling, enveloped me, and I felt my swollen penis quiver, filling the woman with my spirit. I fell helpless to the floor, unsure if I was more exhausted by today's race or by this strange ritual.

We were awakened before sunrise. The women washed and oiled our bodies.

The priest took a sip of red wine, then poured the rest out. "For those caught up in the shadows." The hourglasses were lowered. Adanael, faced with the choice of 1, 2, and 3, chose the second route, familiar to him from the previous race. He knew the location of obstacles and traps. He left me the choice between the first, which ran around the slope, and the third, unknown to anyone; fate added a fifth, along the shortest slope, fraught with traps. I chose the unknown. I only had the hourglass of loss forever; I would know what to expect in seven years, unless I married before then.

Without a trace, I disappeared into a crevice in the road. The god Amehetenoiri was my guardian, and he does not allow his sons to perish in the darkness. I prayed for him to give me light before the danger. I passed several obstacles, and despite the darkness, navigating the tunnel presented me with little difficulty. I realized with horror that I had reached Maraguti. I asked myself if this second statue was as cruel as the one on the Little Wheel. I spun the stone wheel. It stopped at the sign Meren re. The mysterious sign of the old world. "Follow the shortest path to the light, but leave it with the one who runs after you." I thought, "Good Amehetenoiri, thank you for watching over me." And despite the lack of time, I returned the required bows to my guardian. I heard Aael's laughter.

"Why waste your time, fool? The gods won't help you here."

I ran quickly into the tunnel. The gate closed behind me. Light filtered lazily through the transparent ceiling. The tunnel wasn't short, but a few moments were enough to traverse its entire length. Several mummified bodies lay along its walls. I didn't know how old they were. At first, I thought they were the second to draw this sign, but later, when I had waited quite a while for the second page to open, I began to worry that it was just a trap.

I cleared my mind, slowed my breathing, and meditated. I wanted to meet Amehetenoiri, as I had in my dreams, but he didn't come. I stood on an empty, illuminated road in the middle of a large city, the kind my mother had told me about. No one was coming, no wind was blowing, and no miracles were happening. The vision dissipated, the stones parted, and blue light flowed into the canal. I had to run. Aael ran on the other side of the narrow crevice. I had to be faster. I ran...

The paths converged; I was first. Suddenly, my legs began to tangle. Aael tripped me. I collapsed onto the stony floor. As I rose, I heard only the mocking laughter of my tormentor.

"O Great Amehetenoiri, I submit to your will." Don't let evil triumph.

As I rounded the bend, I saw him running up the gangplank to the top floor of the pyramid. After he descended, the gangplank slid lower, and the door closed behind him. I ran up the gangplank to the second floor of the pyramid. And so, after crossing the bend, the door closed behind me, and I watched the gangplank slide lower.

I stood in the great columned hall, watching the priests emerge from the shadows. I saw an old priest walking toward me.

"Greetings, chosen by the Gods.

" "I don't understand. After all, I was second.

" "The second is chosen by the Gods. The first is merely a sacrifice to them. Food for demons, so that for years to come they can guard the border that only high priests can cross.

" "I don't understand anything. Truly, I don't."

The old man smiled.

"When the time comes, you will understand, learn, and be able to forgive. Forgiveness is the greatest gift the gods have given us."