the story of a lie

"Do you need anything else?"

"No, honey. Go to bed. I can see you're tired. You've had to jump around me all day, and then you've got school tomorrow morning."

"But if you'd just..."

"Go.

" "Goodnight, Mom."

"Goodnight, Marteczka... Marta! Aren't you going to take her?

" "No, Mom."

The short, slender blonde turned off the light and left the room. Before closing the door, she looked at her mother lying in bed again, this time completely blank. Her mind was a terrible mess, and her eyes a vast emptiness. She didn't know what to feel. In fact, she didn't even know what she should feel in such a situation. An hour ago, her entire small world, in which she felt so safe, had collapsed. The puzzle, the pieces of which she had guarded so carefully, had fallen apart with the impact of a few words. Now all that was left was a huge mess, one that Marta couldn't handle on her own.

She went into the kitchen. She turned on the light, sat on the stool, and stared at the floor. She'd bid her mother farewell with the same look she'd just moments before. She sat there for a few minutes, completely unsure of what to do. She knew, however, that this night was over. That no matter how hard she tried, she wouldn't sleep. Not tonight. Not after what she'd heard.

Until now, she'd somehow managed to cope with the situation she'd been faced with, though it wasn't easy. Marta, barely sixteen, had learned three months ago that her mother had cancer. Her beloved mother, the only person she'd ever known, besides Karolina.

For as long as Marta could remember, she and her mother had lived alone in this small, two-room apartment. And yet, this sometimes meant too much space for them. There were days when they felt a pervasive emptiness surrounding them, though neither of them ever admitted it out loud. But they both knew this emptiness was caused by the absence of a man—a father and a husband. A father and husband who died shortly after Marta's birth. At least, that's what she'd thought...

The girl knew her mother was in such serious condition that only a miracle could save her. Malignant melanoma was a terrible plague in the Matacz family. Aunt Marysia, one of Marta's mother's sisters, had been dying from it for several years, and a few months earlier, her great-aunt's funeral had taken place. Marta had already suspected that something was wrong with her mother, that she was hiding something from her. Finally, Dorota, pinned down, admitted her illness to her daughter. By then, things were already looking bad. The doctors decided the surgery couldn't be delayed any longer, and the risk of metastasis was already high.

Now Dorota lay at home, exhausted from chemotherapy, awaiting another treatment. She knew she didn't have much time left, that it was only a matter of months, maybe weeks... That's why she decided to reveal to her daughter the secret she'd been successfully keeping from her for so many years. The Matacz family's biggest secret.

Marta got up from the stool and went to the phone. Despite the late hour, she decided to call her friend Karolina. She knew Karola would understand, that she wouldn't be angry with her.

"Hello?

" "Karola? Hi, it's me."

"Marta... is something wrong? Why do you sound so sad?" Karolina could always tell when something was wrong with her friend. "

Karolcia! I'm begging you, come over to my place tonight!"

"Today? Now?

" "Hmm..."

"Gosh, I don't know if my parents will let me. It's a bit late... But wait, I'll ask my father to give me a ride. I'll try, I promise." Miśka, just don't cry without me!

- Mhm...

- Okay, I'm going to go talk to my parents. If anything happens, I'll be there in 20 minutes. Do you have your mom's tomato juice?

- Yes, it's in the fridge. I also have a beer. Mom's asleep, so we can have some.

- I have some too, I still have some left from that party at Grzesiek's, hee hee. Well, I'm off. I hope to see you soon. Kiss.

​​- Bye!

Marta breathed a sigh of relief. Just hearing her friend's voice was enough to make her feel better. She went back to the kitchen, took a beer from the fridge, and a bottle opener from the drawer. She took them to the room where a made bed was waiting for her. But she knew she and Karolina wouldn't sleep a wink that night. She sat down in a chair and picked up a photo. She and her mom ten years ago. Happy. A gold wedding ring gleamed on her mother's ring finger. The same one her mother wanted to give back to her today.

Marta couldn't remember what it felt like to be happy. Only three months had passed since she'd learned of her mother's illness, but for her it felt like an eternity. Dorota had once been a paragon of virtue for Marta. The girl had always wanted to be like her mother – strong and persistent. Now that was exactly who she was, had to be. She couldn't afford moments of weakness; she had too much on her plate. School, her sick mother, her infirm grandparents, and their large house that had to be cleaned at least once a week…

She must have sat there for quite a while, because she only woke up when she heard the intercom ring. "There she is!" she thought.

"Hey," Karolina whispered, already unlacing her shoes in the hallway, "you made it." "

It's good that you're here. I was afraid they wouldn't let you in. Come in, but quietly, because Mom is already asleep."

"I know how to talk to old people. And how is Mom?" she asked with concern in her voice.

"No change," Marta said sadly, "she barely gets out of bed. She only got up once today, to go to the bathroom. Come to your room."

Marta and Karolina had met eight months earlier, at the beginning of the school year. They were in the same high school class. Both were starting a new chapter in their lives – high school. They took a liking to each other from the very beginning. They bonded over their love of sweet rolls and their dislike of raisins. They quickly discovered kindred spirits in each other and were practically inseparable from the very beginning. They experienced their first love moments together and cried disappointments together. They skipped school together and volunteered together in local volunteering.

In their new surroundings, they often passed for sisters, despite their dissimilarities. They, in fact, felt like sisters connected by more than just blood. Marta and Karolina were connected by a kindred spirit. They communicated without words. Often, a glance from one was enough for the other to know what was happening. They couldn't imagine life without each other. After all, how could they live without their other, spiritual half?

Despite these many similarities, they differed in one fundamental way – their approach to life. Karolina always approached everything with immense ease and carefreeness. She was the one who initiated most of the crazy escapades, often with unpleasant consequences. Marta was the more sensible one, the one who thought about the consequences. Her mother had taught her this, just as she had tried to instill in the girl the distrust of people she had picked up from her family home. However, she completely failed. Marta was like a small, wild animal, just waiting for someone to tame her. There were many willing to tame her, but it was Karolina who managed to do it in such a short time. Marta gave her all of herself to her friend, and received the same in return.

The girls settled down on the bed with a beer in hand. That small bottle had the power to make them feel so grown-up! Moreover, they were about to talk about grown-up matters, a fact they were well aware of. Karolina had expected a conversation about Dorota's illness. She thought Marta had learned something new from her mother today, perhaps about the surgery. Karola loved these moments when she talked to Marta about life and death. She completely refused to entertain the thought that her friend's mother might actually die. That for Marta, these conversations were more than just an exchange of ideas.

"Karolcia..." Marta began in a sad voice. "

Just a moment!" her friend interrupted. "First, bring some tomato juice. Because then you'll probably forget." Hey, honey, what's wrong?

Marta couldn't contain her emotions any longer. She burst into tears. Karolina hugged her tightly and didn't let go until she calmed down.

"Already? Better?" Karola stroked Marta's face, wiping away her tears.

"You can't even imagine what I found out today." "

I can't imagine, that's why I'm waiting for you to tell me. After all, that's probably why you called."

For a moment, a deafening silence fell between the friends. They looked at each other as if trying to communicate telepathically. Suddenly, soft moans began to come from the other room.

"It's Mom. I'll be right back. Can you see I've been crying?" Marta asked, wiping the remaining tears from her cheeks.

"Not anymore. Go. Can I smoke through the window in the meantime?"

"You can, just lean out a bit more.

" "Okay.

" "Jesus! I'm so sick of this Karol! I hate those moans from behind the wall!" Marta gasped, closing the door behind her. "I stay up all night, afraid Mom's condition will suddenly worsen. How much longer will this last? And do you know what I dreamed about last night? I dreamed I was walking through town with Mom and we passed a pub. I knew my friends were there, that you were there. I wanted to go in, finally have some fun." And my mom shouted at me, "I'm going to die tomorrow, and you want to go to a party?!" I woke up, covered in sweat. "

Kitten! I can see it's hard for you. I really want to help you, but I don't know how. I feel like all I can do is talk to you. But you know you can always count on me."

"I know, Karola, I know. That's why I want to tell you what a terrible thing I found out today."

"I'm listening. "

Marta took a deep breath and began:

"You know my dad's dead, right?

" "Yes, I know

." "It's not true."

Karolina looked at Marta doubtfully.

"How is that not true? I don't understand.

" "I couldn't believe it either. You see... it's all a lie." "

You lied to me? But why?

" "No. I didn't lie to you. It was everyone around me who lied to me. For sixteen years, can you imagine?" Marta took a sip from her beer bottle. They were silent again for a moment, staring at each other as if trying to guess each other's thoughts.

"My mother never married my father."

"What??? What are you talking about?" Karolina couldn't believe her ears.

"Well, listen carefully then." Marta began nervously shaking her leg. "Today I learned the whole truth. Remember how I told you that my mother spent a lot of time asking me about Marek and his family?" Karolina nodded. "I know why. My mother was afraid we might be related."

"Jesus! Marta! Listening to you, I feel like you've been watching too many Brazilian soap operas."

"Please don't interrupt me. So it's because Marek has family on Kasprowicza Street, where my grandparents live. You know, there are three Borecki families there. Two of them are Marek's family." Marta paused for a moment to take another sip of her beer.

"And the third?"

"And in the third house lives... my father and his family."

Karolina's eyes widened. She stared at Marta, speechless. Finally, she got out of bed, reached for her beer, and drank almost half the bottle in one gulp.

"Okay, now I can continue listening."

"Adam Borecki is my father. The guy I told you about once. I often entertained his children when I was at my grandmother's. He lives two houses down from my grandparents' house. He has a wife and three children. He's much younger than my mother. You know, when my mother started dating him, she was already a mature woman, and he was basically a brat. My family really didn't like it. Everyone was against the relationship. When my mother got pregnant, my grandmother told her to have an abortion. My mother refused and said that no matter what, she would have me. But she knew marriage to this man was out of the question. She told him she was going to have a child, but that it would be her child. Hers and hers alone. She told him she didn't want anything from him and that she didn't want him to come over. She broke off contact with him, permanently. From then on, they passed each other on the street like strangers." Apparently, at first he wanted to contact her, he tried, but he quickly gave up." She sighed. "And that's the whole story."

"But why did your mother hide this from you her whole life?"

"She claims she wanted to protect me.

" "Mother! But from what? From your family's stupidity? This guy wanted to be your father."

"So why did he give up so quickly? I think he said so for peace of mind, to have a clear conscience.

" "So why did your mother tell you about this now?"

"She was supposed to do it when I turned eighteen. But she was afraid that… that she wouldn't have time." Marta burst into tears again. "Mom wanted to give me a ring today too. And I always thought it was her wedding ring."

Once she had calmed down, they both lay down on the bed and remained silent, holding hands tightly. Karolina didn't know what to think about all this. She had no idea what she should say to her friend in such a situation. She felt that the only thing she could do now was be with Marta, give her the feeling that there was someone she could count on, someone she could lean on. Finally, she couldn't take it anymore and spoke first.

"Will you meet with him?"

"No."

"Why?

" "Because my mom asked me to.

" ***

"Hello?" Marta's trembling voice came over the phone.

"Martuś? It's me. How are you feeling?

" "Karola!" Marta gasped.

"I know, Martuś, I know everything. Is anyone with you now?

" "Yes. Aunt Kamila, Olek, and Aśka.

" "That's good. When can I see you?

" "I don't know, Karola, I don't know. I'd really like to see you now... They're displaying my mom at the morgue today at 5 p.m. Come.

" "Good. Hang in there, Martuś. You're strong, I know that. I know you'll get through this. Remember, I'm with you."

"Thank you... I love you, Karola."

-I know, Martuś. I love you too. With all my heart. Kiss.

Karolina collapsed onto the bed. She couldn't stop the tears welling up in her eyes. She'd last seen her friend a week ago, in the hospital. That evening, Marta had called her and shouted into the receiver that Dorota was dying. She asked Karolina to go with her to the hospital where her mother had been hospitalized for two weeks. That day, Aunt Kamila, Dorota's sister, had called Marta from there to inform her niece about her mother's rapidly deteriorating condition. The hospital was about 60 kilometers from their town, but Karolina didn't hesitate for a moment. She grabbed her bag, packed the essentials, and called her mother to tell her what had happened and that she wouldn't be coming home tonight.

What she saw in the hospital exceeded her wildest expectations. "So this is what death looks like," she thought at the sight of Dorota, or rather, what was left of her. A human wreck lay on the bed, hooked up to a thousand different specialized machines. Dorota had completely lost touch with reality. Marta rushed to her mother, grabbed her bony hand, and began to sob. Karolina had no idea what to do. Tears began to well up in her eyes. But she wanted to stop crying. She had to set a good example for her dearest Marta.

They spent the entire night by the hospital bed, in a ward where people were practically experiencing the final moments of their lives. Marta held her mother's hand, which she had intertwined with her own like a rosary. "Karola! Pray, I beg you! She can't die now! Not now! I can't cope without her!" she repeated over and over. She didn't die. Then.

Karolina left the house, full of anxiety. She didn't know what she would say to Marta when she saw her. What should she say? She didn't know that either. Once again. The sun beat down mercilessly, despite it being midday. In a few hours, it would set completely. What would happen now? What would become of her friend? Who would take care of her? She'd never asked. She was afraid of what she might hear. She was afraid they'd have to part.

People, complete strangers to Karolina, slowly began to emerge from the cemetery chapel. She stood at the gate and waited. Finally, she spotted Marta in the distance. Even thinner than before, pale, vulnerable, she walked toward Karolina. Karola moved hesitantly toward her friend. They embraced. Marta didn't cry; she no longer had the strength.

"I'm with you," Karolina said gently.

"You don't even know how much I missed you. I dreamed of you today. For the first time since I found out about Mom... for the first time I slept almost the entire night. My aunt pumped me full of pills.

" "How are you feeling?"

"I don't know. Lately, I don't know what's going on at all, I don't know where I am, who the people around me are."

"Martuś! What will happen now?"

"The funeral's tomorrow," Marta replied evasively.

"That's not what I'm asking. What will happen to you now?"

"Come on, let's go for a walk." I told my aunt I'd be back in an hour and a half.

They walked for a few minutes in complete silence. Karola wrapped her arms around Marta's waist. She wanted to show her that she was there for her, that she wouldn't leave her, not now. They reached the lake, where they loved to go together and make plans for the future. They were going to finish high school, go to the same university. And then live near each other so their children could be friends like they were. They stood on the shore and watched the sun slowly set. The sky turned many shades of pink and purple. Ducks and swans swam carefree on the calm surface of the lake. They were completely unaware that little Marta had just ceased to be the person she used to be.

"I'm leaving in a week."

"To Krakow?"

"Yes," was the answer Karolina feared most.

"I thought so," she looked sadly at Marta. "

Aunt Kamila wants to take me in. We'll sell this apartment here. Tomorrow I'll slowly start packing.

" "Can't you stay with your grandparents?" Karola asked hopefully, though she realized her question was completely pointless.

"You know how it is. It's idiotic. I'd love to stay here, I really would, but it's impossible."

"I didn't think it would ever really happen. I kept thinking there was something I could do, that your mother would get better and everything would be as it was before.

" "Nothing will ever be as it was. The funeral's tomorrow. I don't want to go there. I don't want to watch them bury my mother. I keep deluding myself that she's just sleeping and will wake up any moment." "

I've never experienced the death of someone close to me…

" "Karola! Promise me that even if I leave, you won't forget me!"

"Never! You know."

"Thank you... for everything

." "Thank you.

"

Marta placed a plastic bottle on top of the cardboard box. The bottle in which she had been hiding all her treasures for eight months.

"Is that all?

" "Yes, Auntie, everything."

"Karola is waiting in the hallway."

"Hi, Martuś! I came to help, but I see you've already finished." Karolina appeared from behind the door.

"I just packed the last of the things. Come in. And close the door to the room."

"Martucha, I came because I want to tell you something.

" "What?"

"Your father... that guy... my mother knows him.

" "Yes?

" "They... Eighteen years ago, he proposed to my mother," she blurted out. "She didn't accept because she thought he was a complete brat. A few months later, he met your mother..."

"You're joking, right?"

"No, I'm not kidding. Mom saw him at the funeral; they even talked for a while. He didn't admit he was your father. He only said he knew your mom.

"Jesus! What a small world!"

"Can you imagine? Think about it, if my mom had agreed back then, you might not have been born!

" "And you too..."

Marta's aunt entered the room. She was holding a phone in her hand. She looked at Marta tenderly and, with concern in her voice, almost whispered,

"That's him

." "I'll go now. I'll come by to say goodbye in the evening."

Karolina knocked timidly on the door. Not like before. It wasn't her friend's house anymore. Marta would be leaving in an hour, and those two rooms would be occupied by complete strangers. A moment later, Marta's aunt opened the door. "

Come in, Karolcia. Martusia is waiting for you in her room.

" "So that's it," Karola whispered, closing the door behind her.

"Well... already," Marta replied sadly.

Karolina noticed the gold chain around her friend's neck, which she had given her a few days ago. A small gold wedding ring dangled loosely from the chain.

"And you'll wear it anyway?" she gestured to the pendant.

"Yes, your mother was very keen on that.

" "Just as she was keen on you not contacting your father.

" "Yes, I know. Come here, give me a hug goodbye."

"Will you meet him?" Karolina asked, hugging her friend tightly.

"I don't know…"