Beyond Hope

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The gray Mercedes passed Julia without slowing. She lowered her hand and turned toward the field. She waved her leg toward her backpack, but at the last moment changed her mind, and her foot clipped a tuft of grass. She lost her balance, but didn't fall. She looked back at the road. Nothing. Just emptiness.

Evening was approaching, so traffic gradually thinned out. Cars passed at intervals of a few, even a dozen or so minutes. They moved sluggishly, like cyclists realizing they would never catch up with the peloton.

Julia had to get to Warsaw as quickly as possible, as she had nowhere to stay. She chose hitchhiking because she didn't want to spend money on a train, and a five-hundred-kilometer walk was beyond her imagination. Or her capabilities. She had neither a mat nor a sleeping bag to sleep in in the forest. She hadn't brought these things for fear that, in desperation, she would decide to sleep outdoors.

It was getting chilly, so Julia began to stroll along the roadside. Seven steps forward, fourteen back. Luckily, she didn't lose sight of her backpack. Everything would be alright, she just had to be careful with her money. Eight hundred złoty wasn't much, but it would suffice for a while. In case of theft, she'd stuffed all the cash into various pockets of her jeans and her backpack, which had a patch reading "I live in Poland."

She'd earned the money during the summer working at her parents' grocery store. She planned to work behind the counter until the end of the summer, saving up enough to pay for her dorm and survive in Warsaw until at least the end of October. She hoped a month would be enough to find a job in the capital.

But everything was shattered. Her plans, dreams, hopes… Maybe she'd manage to salvage something from it, maybe not. In either case, nothing would ever be the same again.

She felt tears welling up in her eyes, so she quickly wiped them away. Her pupils were still red and swollen from her previous outburst of tears. No wonder eight cars passed her without even slowing down.

More than two hours had passed since the argument with her parents, but Julia still couldn't calm down. As usual, they had thwarted all her plans. Maybe she should have kept her anger in check until morning, then she wouldn't have to hitchhike at night, but she couldn't.

She couldn't stand her father's shouts any longer:

"You only think about yourself. You don't care about your family at all. You don't care about us like that store!"

And her mother's grievances:

"How could you? We were so counting on your help. Why can't you study in Szczecin?

Because there's no such department at the University of Szczecin, Mom," she thought, but she didn't say anything. They never listened to her anyway. This wasn't a conversation either, just monologues.

Their words, as usual, made her angry, but she didn't lose her composure until her father shouted:

"As long as you live under my roof, you will do as I tell you!"

She jumped up from the couch and screamed back,

"Then you live here yourself."

"How are you talking to me?" Her father's eyes held the same fury as hers.

"It's best if I don't talk to you at all!"

She ran to her room, slammed the door, and began packing. Tears flowed freely, helping her make a decision.

And now she stood on the side of the road with her backpack and a whole load of sorrows.

She could still turn back. Her parents would probably pretend nothing had happened. She would go to bed, cry into her pillow, and feel better in the morning.

Important decisions shouldn't be made in anger, and she decided to make a coup, on the verge of a nervous breakdown. If she had waited a day, or maybe an hour, she might have lost her courage. Confidence was a great substitute for anger, so she should have seized the moment when she had enough of it to power through a crowded bus. Especially since she usually calmed down easily. A song, a movie, a ray of sunshine, let alone a pleasant conversation, was enough to completely calm her. Now she intended to avoid all of that until she was beyond Szczecin.

A black Fiat Uno appeared on the horizon, and Julia raised her hand. A part of her desperately wanted the car to pass her like the others. But the car slowed and stopped a few meters away.

A timid voice in her head screamed, "Run, you can still escape, go home," but she waved it away. She slung her backpack over her shoulder and headed for the car. Halfway there, she stopped and looked out toward the field. Somewhere beyond was her house. She tightened her grip on the shoulder strap of her backpack.

The front passenger door opened, and a young man leaned out of the Fiat. He smiled at her as if seeing an old friend. Julia took a deep breath and walked over to him.

"Hi," she said. Her gaze immediately flicked to the other seat.

Behind the wheel of the Uno sat a young woman with long, blond hair. She leaned her head against the window and looked at Julia with the same indifference you'd see when passing people selling berries by the roadside.

"Hi. Where are you going?" the boy asked. He had short, auburn hair and hazel eyes that contrasted sharply with the blue and yellow T-shirt he was wearing. It read, "Welcome to the South."

The girl picked up her cell phone from the dashboard and began pressing buttons. There was no slogan on her navy blue T-shirt.

"To Warsaw," Julia replied.

She wasn't sure if she should trust them. They looked ordinary, like all psychopaths. Nowadays, people were afraid of hitchhikers, and hitchhikers were afraid of drivers. Suspicion, for being suspicious. Good times.

"You're lucky, because we're going to Toruń. From there, it'll only be two hundred kilometers. Hop in."

Julia had her doubts. She would have preferred a family with a child or an elderly couple in the car. But the chances of someone like that wanting a ride were slim. She was lucky it was a boy and a girl in the car, not several men. Then she definitely wouldn't have gotten in. Or if she'd smelled alcohol, and now...

"So?" the boy asked, seeing her hesitation.

What do I care, Julia thought, and opened the back door:

"Thanks. "

The girl tossed her cell phone back on the shelf and turned the key in the ignition. A moment later, the car started moving, and Julia felt as if she were in a sealed box. She felt very, very hot.

"My name is Andrzej, and this is Daria," the boy announced, extending his hand to Julia. The girl shook it, forcing a smile.

"Julia," she replied.

"Nice. Do you live in Szczecin?

" "Yes. Or rather, I did until now."

Andrzej nodded as if he understood everything, even though he had no clue. A common reaction of people who don't like to hear about other people's problems.

"Moving to Warsaw? I don't know if that's a good idea. Crowds of people, the rat race, and many dangerous neighborhoods. And the trains...

" "Buckle up, Andrzej," Daria said.

"Buckle up, Andrzej, buckle up, it's always the same. A little slack, baby.

" "Then buckle it!"

The boy frowned, but grabbed the buckle and fastened his seat belt.

"Don't worry, she's usually fine, but she seems to have gotten up on the wrong foot today."

Julia didn't know what to say, so she just nodded. Her heart skipped a beat when she met Daria's icy gaze in the rearview mirror. Clearly, the girl was jealous of Andrzej's kindness to the stranger. Julia would have to be careful not to scratch her eyes out at the rest stop. But if that was the only threat these people could face, she had nothing to worry about.

The tension slowly began to dissipate, she leaned back in her seat, and looked out the window. They were passing the forest where Julia often went mushroom picking with friends in the summer. They'd been there again this year, but hadn't picked much. They were more absorbed in talking about the future than in porcini or chanterelles. They'd passed their final exams, were entering adulthood, and had a hundred ideas to share.

"Szczecin is a beautiful city, I've been here many times. It's peaceful, there are no crowds of tourists. But my home is in Toruń. At least for now." The car braked, and Andrzej lurched forward. "Have you ever been to Toruń?

" "On a class trip, back in elementary school. Long ago.

" "Long ago? And how old are you?"

Julia pondered, wondering if she should answer. She was no longer at the age when she was trying to look older at all costs, and she didn't have to shave years off her age like women in their thirties.

"Nineteen," she replied.

The boy smiled.

"A year younger than Daria. And three than me. Sweet teenager, you'll be saying goodbye to him soon, too.

" "Don't even remind me.

" "Oh, the good old days..."

After an hour of chatting about nothing, Julia relaxed completely. Andrzej had a lot to say on every topic, talking about the discos in Toruń with the same enthusiasm and humor as he did about the constant fuel price increases. Julia had the impression that her boyfriend treated her entire life half-jokingly, half-seriously.

She couldn't do that. The past haunted her and the future worried her. She was still unsure if she'd made the right decision by running away from home. She was left alone. More and more miles separated her from her family and friends, and her decision seemed irreversible.

What would she do when she reached Toruń? There was no hope of getting a student residence in August, so she'd have to rent an apartment. Everything was expensive in Warsaw, but rent was legendary. If she found a job, this problem would solve itself. Working two jobs, she could even save more than in Szczecin.

In the worst-case scenario, she'd end up at the train station begging for money for a return ticket to Szczecin. But would she have anyone left to come home to? Her parents would be furious when they realized she wasn't joking about moving out. How much? Would they be looking for her?

"We're running out of gas, we have to stop at the gas station," Daria said.

"Great, at least we'll get some exercise," Andrzej replied, turning to Julia and adding, "We're coming from Slovakia, we haven't had much rest in that time.

" "I've never been abroad, hardly anywhere."

"Not a big deal. Slovakia, Paris, or Gdańsk, it doesn't matter to me. Everywhere's fine, but home is best.

" "Toruń?

" "Exactly."

Daria gave Andrzej a mocking look and turned right into the gas station. She parked at lane number one and handed Andrzej the keys.

"You wanted to stretch your legs."

The boy smiled wryly, but picked up the keys and got out of the car. Julia had the impression he was reluctant to leave the girls alone.

Daria also got out of the car, and Julia was left alone inside. The interior was strictly tidy, with no stuffed animals flying around, no dog shaking its head while driving, and no air freshener hanging from the mirror. There was nothing unusual about it, but people who drove long distances in cars liked to embellish them.

Julia decided not to think about it, as she was starting to get nervous again. The lack of stuffed animals in the car meant nothing, and besides, the Uno might be new. You shouldn't jump to conclusions about people you don't know.

She opened the door and stumbled out of the car. She didn't feel like being alone. Pessimistic thoughts were enough for one day.

Only Daria stood by the Fiat. Andrzej had evidently gone to pay for gas. Julia, who didn't yet have a driver's license, thought the hardest part was learning how to change gears and fill the tank. She had practiced driving years ago in her apartment, maneuvering her blue convertible between the furniture. Since childhood, she'd dreamed of owning a larger version of this car.

"Nice day, isn't it?" Julia said, trying to start a conversation.

Daria looked at the sky, then at Julia.

"It's almost dark, what day?"

The sky was growing grayer by the minute. Julia knew this, but in her mind, it was still daytime. The same sun that had watched her run out of the house and stand on the road, trying to stop the car, still shone. She needed a companion, even one as distant and silent as the sun.

She glanced at her watch and was surprised to see that it was already after 7 p.m. They would reach Toruń in two hours, maybe a little sooner. She'd have to hitchhike at 9 p.m., with little traffic but deep darkness. The thought made her muscles tense.

"I was thinking about the one that passed...

" "Aha.

A strange conversation. Almost as senseless as the situation Julia found herself in, or would find herself in two hours. But that was the choice she'd made. She just hoped she'd find the courage to stick her thumb out towards the road, even if she couldn't see anything but the approaching lights. She'd gotten herself into serious trouble, and it was her own doing.

"This summer's not great. Maybe the weather was nicer in Slovakia?" Julia asked, trying to distract herself from her unpleasant thoughts.

"Maybe. We were only there for a day.

" "Ah.

" Andrzej emerged from the store. He had a six-pack of beer and a bottle of Coke in his hand.

"Something to cheer you up," he said, waving the beer.

Daria frowned and glared at the boy.

"Give it back or put it in the trunk. While we're driving...

" "You're driving, though. I brought you a Coke. The beer's for me and Julia.

" "Great," Daria said, getting into the car, slamming the door.

Andrzej ignored it. He tore off one beer and handed it to Julia, holding her hand for a moment.

"Don't worry. It'll pass soon.

" "I don't think I'm the one who should be worrying," Julia replied, yanking her hand away and getting into the car.

"I don't think so," she heard Andrzej whisper. A moment later, the front door opened, and he got into the Fiat.

The Uno tore like a torpedo from outside the gas station.

Julia wasn't in the mood for a beer at first. She wanted to drink one bottle out of politeness and be done with it, but she changed her mind. The alcohol calmed her frayed nerves.

When they reached Toruń, she'd have to summon the strength to stand on the side of the road with her thumbs up. So much could have happened... Psychopaths, murderers, rapists, and con artists come out at night to hunt.

She stared out the window, trying to push away the unpleasant thoughts, but it was so dark outside…

She decided to reconsider all her options. She was already too far from home to return, and besides, she didn't want to. Her parents didn't understand her; they didn't want her to fulfill her dream of studying journalism. They preferred that she work in their shop for the rest of her life – and she couldn't agree to that.

Not because she didn't like it. She simply fell in love with journalism, and it was the only profession she saw her future in. In high school, she wrote for the school newspaper, "Saper." Her articles were praised not only by friends but even by the newspaper's editor, Janusz Ziębik, her Polish teacher. It was he who suggested she study journalism in Warsaw. He claimed she had a future in this profession. Julia was initially surprised, but the initial shock was quickly replaced by joy. She didn't hesitate to apply to the University of Warsaw for long. Her heart had made the decision for her.

But her parents didn't care. All that mattered was the shop, which wasn't generating much revenue and could soon be swallowed up by a hypermarket. What would her parents do then? Would they yell at the owners of the behemoth as they had at her?

Julia had made the right decision to leave, but the problem remained. She couldn't afford accommodations in Toruń. She had eight hundred złoty, but she preferred not to touch that sum until she reached Warsaw. She was afraid that even a loss of a dozen złoty could stand in the way of fulfilling her dreams.

She could ask Andrzej to put her up for the night, but she didn't trust him. He was pleasant and cheerful, but he was still a stranger. Besides, he probably lived with Daria, who would never agree to such a thing.

After a second beer, Julia felt she could finally stop the car on a deserted road and get in if the passengers were okay. After all, what difference did it make whether she hitchhiked during the day or night? You could meet the wrong person at any time.

Just as Andrzej was about to open the door for them to get another beer, the car engine roared and then stalled.

"Shit!" Daria shouted, slamming her hands on the steering wheel. "Holy shit.

" "Easy, I'll check on him in a minute," Andrzej announced, getting out of the car.

Julia got out too, feeling her bladder was full.

"I'll be right back," she said, heading toward the dark forest. The trees were so dense that she didn't have to go far.

When she returned, Andrzej was leaning over the open hood, and Daria was searching for something in the trunk. Julia knew men didn't like having their hands watched while they were tinkering with cars, so she approached Daria.

The girl was searching for something in a black bag filled with bags of white powder. Julia immediately realized she'd seen something she shouldn't have and was getting into trouble.

Daria spotted Julia, and their eyes met for a moment. She quickly closed the bag, though they both knew it wouldn't change anything. Julia felt like she should run. She took a step back, but before she could turn, she felt a sharp blow to her head. Darkness enveloped her.

She woke with a terrible headache. She tried to open her eyes, but they weren't closed at all. The darkness wasn't coming from within her, but from the room she was in.

She lay on her stomach, on what might have been a hard bed or a straw mattress, her hands tied behind her back so tightly that the rope dug into her skin. It was strange that it hadn't cut off the blood flow to her hands, and she could still move them.

Her head was turned to the right, so she should be able to see her legs. She felt them tied, but she couldn't make them out of the darkness. It was as if they were a hundred miles away.

Move, do something, an inner voice whispered, and she began to tug. She remembered why she was here. The details of the day bombarded her imagination and pulverized any remaining peace. She began to move more and more violently, but only managed to roll onto her side. None of the ropes loosened.

Her eyes had already adjusted to the darkness, and rectangular shapes of various sizes emerged from the gloom. Julia had no idea what she was looking at; they were certainly not ordinary furniture.

When her gaze caught the outline of the door, she lost control of her vocal cords and began to scream,

"Help! Help! Let me out of here! Help!"

After a few minutes, her screams became a shriek, and her throat burned as if she'd drunk acid. When she paused for air, the door to the room opened, and a light flashed. It was so bright that Julia had to close her eyes. For a moment, all she saw was a red blur.

"Stop screaming, I can't sleep because of you!" she heard a male, unfamiliar voice. It wasn't Andrzej, unless her memory was playing tricks on her...

She opened her eyes to examine the man. He was in his twenties, with crew-cut hair and a murderous look in his eyes. His clenched fists and red face made him look more like a volcano than a human, ready to erupt at any moment. If it had been him instead of Andrzej sitting in the black Uno, she definitely wouldn't have gotten in.

"Who are you?" she asked, narrowing her eyes. Her head ached so badly she wanted to scream.

"None of your business. Keep quiet, or I'll gag you."

Her heart leapt into her throat, which was only just beginning to recover. If he had done that with his innate or acquired brutality, she might have choked.

"Where...

" "Nowhere. Shut up. If it were up to me, I would rip your guts out. And I will if you provoke me."

The man was seething with anger. Why? She hadn't done anything to him, and she couldn't.

"Can I get you something to drink?"

"You can't.

Great." This probably means an impasse. The man stood against the wall, regarding Julia with a cold gaze. When their eyes met, a chill ran down her spine. She looked away first, which clearly emboldened him, as he took a few steps toward her.

"Are you afraid of me?" he asked, and laughed. It looked eerie, because the anger in his eyes never left. He resembled a monster from an amusement park.

"Why should I be afraid of such a coward? I'm tied up, and you're afraid to give me water."

She didn't know what she could achieve by upsetting him, but she couldn't control her rage. She wanted to lash out at him, and the only weapon she had at the moment were words. But her headache was clouding her thoughts.

"I'll give you water. But it won't change anything," the man said, disappearing behind the door.

He left the light on, so she could examine the room. It was a small, white room, bare of furniture and decorations. It was littered with mattresses. They lay against the walls and in the middle of the room, in piles or individually, creating substitutes for beds and tables. Bottles, cigarette cartons, cookie and crisp cartons, paper plates, and even cards were strewn about. There must have been a party here, one that no one had time to clean up after.

A dartboard hung on the wall, and in the corner stood a tape recorder. A small, single-cassette clunker, probably not much younger than she was. A meter-high pile of backpacks stood against the opposite wall, and an even larger one next to it, books. Scattered scraps of paper and newspapers on the burgundy carpet completed the picture of a dumpster.

This room could only be used for parties, and even that was doubtful. There was no smell of alcohol in the air, only a faint reek of cigarette smoke and cookies. If those bottles were wine, a sweetish scent should have lingered. After all, there were no windows. And who needed so many mattresses? What were they stuffed with?

The man returned with a glass of water. He stood over Julia, wondering how to hand her the glass.

"What, are you afraid that if you untie my hands, I'll run away? Are you that easy to win?"

She teased him. He grew increasingly angry and indecisive. His eyes darted around like insects searching for smaller prey. Julia knew he had a better chance of escaping as long as he was alone.

"Shut up. If you try anything, I'll kill you."

He set the glass on the floor and yanked the rope around Julia's arms so hard that her body fell into a sitting position. Her arm muscles and spine ached, but she felt a little more confident. When the man released her hands and handed her the glass, she didn't hesitate and hit him on the head with it.

She tried to break his nose, but it hit his forehead. The glass shattered, sending several pieces flying into her attacker's face. The man howled, and Julia clenched her fingers into a fist and punched him with all her might. The boy ignored her. He grabbed her arm and yanked her away. She felt pain in her shoulder joint, and nausea washed over her. The man grabbed her by the neck, pushed her onto the bed, and pinned her down. She couldn't move, so she screamed at the top of her lungs, ignoring the pain that gripped her entire throat. She didn't even try to make her scream intelligible; she focused all her attention on screaming as loudly as possible.

The man tightened his grip on her throat and placed his other hand over her mouth, preventing her from screaming. She was choking. She thrashed her body as hard as she could, but it was no use. Her attacker was far more powerful and stronger than her.

"Let her go, damn it, what are you doing? Jacek!" Daria's voice came from far away. "Let her go!"

Julia felt the grip on her neck loosen, and a rush of air rushed into her lungs. Breathing had never brought her such joy.

"Look what she did to me! She's a lunatic. Let's kill her, you don't want to keep her here, do you?

" "What happened?

" "She asked me for water. I wanted to be nice, and here you go. What happened to me?"

Daria looked at him with narrowed eyes. As if she couldn't put two words together: Jacek and nice.

Julia's breathing was returning to normal. She sat down on the mattress, wondering what she should do. Escape with two people was easier than with three, and her hands were always free. But she felt she couldn't handle them. She had nothing to attack with. If she lunged at Jacek with her fists, Daria would pull her away. Besides, her legs were tied, so running was out of the question.

"You untied her hands.

" "So she could get a drink.

" "It's a good thing she didn't want to go to the bathroom."

Julia cursed. Why didn't that occur to her? Maybe there's a window there...

" "Shut up. Watch her yourself, if you're so smart." Where is Andrzej anyway?

- He has something to take care of.

- What?

- I don't know.

"Great, just great. I don't care, I'm going to bed," Jacek announced, turning towards the door.

"Wait. I need to clean the wound...

" "I'm fine," he replied, and left, slamming the door.

Daria stared at the closed door for a moment, then walked over to Julia.

"Hands," she said, picking up a rope from the floor.

Julia considered trying to hit Daria, like she had hit Jacek earlier. They were similar in height and build. But she couldn't decide.

"Don't even try. I have a knife, it's best not to provoke me," Daria said. "Hands."

Julia reluctantly extended her hands and looked Daria in the eye. Her face held an unreadable expression.

"Where? Would you rob a bank like that too? I have a gun, believe it or not. At worst, I'll just blow you away.

" "Maybe. I don't rob banks," Daria replied, finishing tying Julia's hands.

She tied them in front of her, a little looser than before. Andrzej had probably tied her earlier.

"That's probably good." No one would believe you.

"You did.

" "Not entirely. And my mind is failing."

Daria stood up and took a step toward the door. She pulled a switchblade from her sweatshirt pocket. A four-inch blade sprang from the silver handle.

"I'll be right back, just let me check on Jacek," Daria said, but before leaving, she picked up the remains of the glass from the floor.

Julia lay down on the mattresses she'd previously taken for a bed, covering her face with her bound hands. She was very tired, but she wanted to gather her thoughts, try to get out of here before Andrzej returned. He'd hit her in the head and would probably be the biggest problem. Or a nightmare.

How could she have gotten involved in this?

After a dozen or so minutes, Daria entered the room with two bottles. One held mineral water, the other Coke.

"What would you prefer?" she asked, pushing the stack of mattresses toward Julia.

"Water. I still feel nauseous.

" "How's your head?" Daria asked, sitting down on the mattresses pulled up. She unscrewed the cap from a bottle of mineral water and placed it in Julia's hands.

"Bad," Julia replied, bringing the bottle to her lips. The rope made drinking difficult, but not enough to be an excuse to unbind her.

"I'm sorry. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

" "I asked for it, didn't I?"

Daria shrugged.

"No, but it doesn't matter now anyway.

" "Are you going to kill me?"

Silence fell. Daria's gaze wandered from the walls, not daring to look Julia in the eye.

"Silence means consent.

" "Sure. What should we do? You know our faces, our car, where we live. You even know where we're transporting the goods. Andrzej has a long tongue. And he won't let go.

" "He's not here right now, is he?"

"Yes. But if I let you go, you'll tell the police everything, and we'll be in trouble.

" "And if I promise not to?

" "I won't believe you anyway," Daria replied, standing up.

"Then my fate is already sealed.

" "I'll bring you something for your headache.

" "Why? Kill me now."

Daria eyed Julia carefully and moved toward the door.

"Sweet dreams," she said, turning out the light.

The room grew dark. Julia heard the door slam and the key in the lock. She felt like a caged mouse, reliant only on others. Strangers decided when she should eat, drink, or sleep. Her fate depended solely on the whims of her captors.

At least the mouse could walk around the cage, while she… lay on a pile of mattresses, bound tighter than a serial killer. Besides, unlike the mouse, she was aware of the hopelessness of her situation.

The fact that they haven't killed her yet is only because Andrzej had something more pressing to do. Maybe he had to sell the drugs to someone or batch them. Whatever. He left her in a dark, cluttered room under the care of an angry thug because he wants to deal with her personally. Maybe he's wondering right now where to hide her body.

In fact, even if he dumped Julia's body on the road, the police would never connect him with her death. No one saw her get into the black Fiat Uno, and there were no people at the gas station either.

No one could help her.

Her parents wouldn't call the police, at least not right away. They'd wait for her to soften and return, and when they did, they'd think she'd gone to Warsaw. Finding someone in the capital is like digging a grain of salt out of sugar. In fact, only when she didn't show up for class on October 1st would there be grounds to report her missing to the police. But who would find out? The university wouldn't notify anyone of her absence.

Besides, it didn't matter anyway. Andrzej wouldn't wait two months, he'd kill her immediately. The police would probably find Julia's body by October first.

And all because of some stupid argument. She should have been more sensible and waited until morning. She was of age, so her parents couldn't force her home. Or she could have spent thirty złoty on that damn ticket to Warsaw.

Tears welled up in Julia's eyes again. No, despair wouldn't help her get out of this. If she wanted to escape, she needed a plan and some peace.

She needed something to occupy herself with. She hadn't turned off the mineral water, so she might spill it. And who knows if they were going to give her anything else to drink?

She started searching for the bottle cap. It was probably lying on the pile of mattresses where Daria had been sitting a moment ago. With her hands tied, she had no chance of reaching it.

She slid her legs to the floor and tried to steady herself. The ropes pinched her ankles, but she was able to stand still. The mattress was still half a meter away. She tried to take a tiny step, but immediately lost her balance and fell forward. She managed to land on the mattresses she was aiming for. She pulled herself up, holding the mattress with her bound hands, and began groping for the bottle cap. After a few seconds, she found it.

Now all she had to do was get back to her mattresses. She stood, swaying, and waited a few seconds. This time, she intended to take an even smaller step than before. She gasped, thrust her left leg forward, and quickly joined it with her right. She fell to the floor, hitting her head on the concrete. The pain was so intense that she screamed at the top of her lungs.

It felt like a boulder was crushing her mind, and she wanted it to crush her as quickly as possible so she wouldn't feel the pain. Nausea gripped her stomach, she couldn't breathe, and her consciousness was dragging her deeper and deeper into a hole filled with even greater pain, helplessness, and despair.

Footsteps echoed outside the door, and a moment later, the room lit up. Julia covered her face with her hands, feeling as if the light would blind her.

"Fuck it!" Jacek said, and Julia felt as if he were shouting directly into her ears. "She's nothing but trouble."

"See if there's Apap or something similar in the medicine cabinet," Daria ordered.

"Sure, why not? It doesn't matter that it's three in the morning and I have to work tomorrow morning. It'll cost you dearly!"

Julia removed her hands and looked at Jacek. His face turned bright red, and the rage in his eyes grew even more intense. He looked at Daria with the same disgust as he did Julia, but after a few seconds, he left the room.

"I can't let you out of my sight for a moment," Daria said, approaching Julia. "What did you want to do?

" "Nothing," Julia replied. She still held the bottle cap in her hand. It didn't matter anymore; the bottle of mineral water lay empty on the floor. She must have tripped over it when she fell.

The pain was drowned out by rage, which somehow stifled the tears welling up in her eyes. She threw the bottle cap at the wall with all her might.

She tried to get up. Daria wanted to help her, but Julia pushed her hands away. She tried to hold on to the mattress, but her strength ebbed away and she fell, this time on her butt. She was starting to feel dizzy.

Daria extended her hand again. Julia glared at her, but she allowed herself to be helped. Relieved, she lay down on the mattress. The pain had subsided a bit, and the nausea was starting to subside.

"That was all," Jacek said, tossing a box of pills toward Daria.

"That's all I need. Bring some mineral water."

Jacek kicked the door so hard that a piece of plaster fell off the wall, then left. Daria began to examine the pill packet carefully.

"You spilled the water.

" "Shoot me."

Julia knew such a display of anger would do her no good, but she couldn't control herself.

"It would solve a lot of my problems.

" "Mine too."

A silence fell, broken by Jacek's arrival.

"Here," he said, handing Daria a bottle of mineral water. "But animals going to slaughter aren't fattened.

" "Really?" Daria asked.

"It's the law of the jungle," Jacek said.

"You immediately seemed strangely out of place," Julia said. She enjoyed unsettling Jacek.

"What? Was that supposed to be offensive?" Jacek asked. He looked at Julia like a child who doesn't understand what the teacher is saying. Julia lost all interest in talking to Jacek. His mind was working at a slower pace than a broken engine.

"The pills should help a little," Daria stated, not looking at Jacek or Julia, just to the side.

"What's that?" Julia asked, sitting down on the mattress.

"I'm going to bed! Wake me up again and you'll regret it. And you better keep an eye on her!" Silence answered him, so he cursed under his breath and left, slamming the door.

Daria handed Julia a box of pills. The girl had no idea if the medicine would ease the pain, but she decided to try. It certainly wouldn't get any worse. She squeezed two pills into her hand and popped them into her mouth. Daria handed her an uncapped bottle of mineral water.

"It could be a concussion. Don't go crazy.

" "Animals aren't fattened for slaughter.

" "Exactly. Let that give you something to think about," Daria said, standing up. Julia had no idea what the girl had in mind, but her head hurt too much to think about it.

"You can still let me out; it's not too late.

" "For what?"

"To back off.

" "Get some sleep," Daria said. She put the cap back on the bottle Julia held in her bound hands and stood up. "That should help."

"Sure."

Julia was alone again. She set the bottle on the floor and began to consider her escape options. Jacek seemed the weakest point. If she provoked him to untie his arms and legs, she could punch him and then run away. Or maybe she could untie her hands herself? She felt too tired to try. She decided to close her eyes for a moment. She fell asleep.

She didn't know where she was. Her temples throbbed as if someone were driving nails into them. Where was this pain coming from?

The memories returned quickly, assaulting her mind with a force greater than she could bear. She closed her eyes and began to breathe deeply. Her heart was pumping dozens of times faster than usual, making it difficult to gather her thoughts. A

persistent voice echoed in her head, repeating the same sentence over and over: "If you open your eyes, you will die." She believed it. When the attackers noticed she was awake, they would come and kill her. If they hadn't released her by now, they most likely wouldn't. Animals aren't fattened for slaughter.

If she wanted to survive, she had to come up with an escape plan. Preferably now. Wait. She didn't have many options. She had to attack one of the attackers or try to escape through the locked door. Where could it lead? She had already realized she was in some house, so the door might open onto a hallway. Yesterday, it had been wide open for quite a while, but Julia hadn't noticed what lay beyond. Today she would try to examine the room it led to.

Fine. This was something, a chance to escape; doors usually led to another door. Sunlight streamed into the room from a crack beneath them. She must have slept for several hours. She had wasted so much time; those minutes might not be enough later.

She pushed aside the gloomy thoughts. If she wanted to survive, she had to focus on the positives. On what was, not what had passed. Missed opportunities might not have been opportunities at all, but death traps, waiting for death.

The light streaming through the crack meant there was at least one window in the next room. If she could quietly open the door, she would be close to freedom. All she had to do was break the windowpane and escape.

She had to free her arms, then her legs. Then, even if she failed to open the door, she would be able to attack whoever came through. A few seconds and she would be outside. Things should be easier from there.

Julia sat down on the mattresses and leaned against the wall. She managed to feel the knot with the fingers of her right hand. She wished she had long fingernails; it would have made it easier to deal with this tangle. She struggled, concentrated, but couldn't loosen the knot. After a few minutes, she collapsed onto the mattress, exhausted.

She heard footsteps and the scraping of a key in the door. Her heart leapt into her throat, and shivers racked her entire body. She considered closing her eyes and pretending to be asleep, but decided to try persuasion again. Maybe Andrzej would be more sympathetic. She didn't really believe it, but there was no harm in trying. She had nothing to lose.

Andrzej did indeed appear in the doorway. Standing there, lit only by the sun's rays from behind, he looked like the psychopathic hero of some horror movie who had killed his entire family and was now about to hang himself. Julia decided to pretend she was confident and unafraid. She sat down on the bed and looked into his eyes. Then a light flashed in the room.

"Did you sleep well?" Andrzej asked, approaching her.

"Fine, and you?" She tried to keep her eyes on him and control her voice. She almost fooled herself into thinking everything was alright.

"Actually, no. I just got back; I had a few things to take care of."

Andrzej smiled and sat down next to Julia. She wanted to pull away from him, but she didn't want to betray her fear.

"What do you want to do with me?

" "It's up to you," he said, brushing a strand of hair from Julia's forehead. When she felt his touch, shivers ran through her. "You have beautiful eyes..."

She couldn't take it anymore. She jerked away and moved as far away as she could. She almost slipped off the mattresses and onto the floor.

"Let me out, I won't tell anyone.

" "I don't believe you. Maybe you can try to convince me somehow?"

He touched her face again.

"Take that hand away or I'll start screaming.

" "Think about it. I could kill you at any moment.

" Julia felt herself teetering on the edge. If Andrzej lunged at her and covered her mouth, there was nothing she could do.

"Help!" she screamed.

Andrzej slapped her across the face with his open hand, making her scream even louder. Then he punched her in the eye, and a moment later, also in the temple. The nausea and pain returned. She felt like she was losing consciousness. She desperately wanted it. At least for a moment, she would get a break from the pain and Andrzej.

"Hey!" she heard Daria's muffled voice.

Andrzej pulled away from Julia as abruptly as if he'd been electrocuted.

"She wanted to run away," he announced.

"I told you, man, she's nothing but trouble. Let's kill the bitch," Jacek said.

"I think we'll have to consider that option," Andrzej said. "Let's leave her alone, let her think about her behavior."

He moved toward the door, pushing Jacek and Daria in that direction. He turned off the light on the way. Julia was left alone in the darkness again. Tears welled in her eyes, but she managed to hold back her tears. She concentrated on the rope that held her hands in place. However, the knot refused to let go. She was in a hurry, afraid that Andrzej would soon return, so her movements were too nervous. What's more, her hands were shaking.

After a dozen or so minutes, Daria entered the room. This time, the light only enraged Julia. The sudden changes in its intensity were yet another torture.

Julia was one step away from an ocean of despair, and she felt like if she didn't do something soon, she'd sink to the bottom. She didn't want to take her anger out on Daria, who was probably the only one who could even consider freeing her.

"I need to use the bathroom," she said before Daria could say anything.

"Can you go?"

Julia had no idea, but theoretically, her legs had suffered the least during this nightmare. She slid them to the ground and tried to stand up. It wasn't a problem, but she couldn't move because the rope still bound her feet.

"Not with this.

" "I can untie them, but if you think of something stupid, I won't do it again.

" "It's hard to do something stupid in my situation."

"You're handling this problem so well so far." Sit down.

Julia sat down on the mattress, regarding Daria with an icy stare. When her legs regained the ability to move, she wanted to kick Daria and run away.

"Do you have a nice boyfriend, does he often molest tied-up girls?" Or maybe these drugs are just an excuse for kidnappings?

"You don't know anything about us.

" "You'd be surprised. I don't understand why you're wasting your time on him. "

Daria frowned.

"I think you wanted to go to the bathroom.

" "How long do I have left? Are you going to kill me right away, or is he going to rape me first?" Julia stood up too.

"He never...

" "He almost did it a moment ago. And what did he say to you? Did she want to run away? She lunged at me, poor little boy, so I had to punch her in the face. Does he hit you too?

" "Shut up. It's not like that.

" "And how? Will you kill for him?"

Daria didn't answer, took a switchblade from her pocket, and flipped it open. Julia was afraid she'd overdone it. Instead of giving Daria something to think about, she'd upset her.

"Don't you believe me?

" "I do. Go to the door, but calmly. Remember, I have a knife."

Julia sighed. She'd lost another battle; she'd said everything she needed to say, but it didn't change anything. She slowly moved toward the door.

As she'd suspected, it led to the hallway. It was a long hallway lined with brown carpet. Two windows lined one wall, and then a door leading outside.

Freedom was so close…

She just needed to somehow overpower Daria, break the glass, and she'd be free. But it wasn't that easy, because the girl was holding a knife. Julia could have tried to rush to the window right away, but Daria was right behind her and surely expected something like that.

If the bathroom didn't have a window, Julia would have to take a chance. Fate wouldn't give her a better chance.

The bathroom was at the end of the hall. Daria pushed open the door and used her knife to cut the rope holding Julia's hands.

"You don't know anything about me," she said, gently pushing Julia inside.

The girl's gaze immediately wandered to the small window, located about five feet above the ground.

"It seems so," Julia replied, meeting Daria's eyes. They stared at each other for a moment, then Daria took a step toward Julia and thrust a wad of bills into her hands. Five hundred zloty, the amount she had in her backpack.

"Go, before I change my mind," Daria said, stepping back.

Julia took a step away from the door, and Daria immediately slammed it behind her. She was about to say something else, to thank Daria, but now she'd have to scream. She wasn't about to waste her chance to escape on some stupid platitude.

She opened the window and breathed in the fresh air. She got outside without any trouble. The house was surrounded by a forest she didn't know and didn't want to.

She ran through the trees, straight onto the path. She ran as fast as she could, never once looking back. No one was chasing her, but she slowed only when the last of her strength had ebbed.

A few minutes later, she found herself on the street. People were strolling on the sidewalk, and every now and then a car drove by. She was free. A wave of joy flooded her heart. She blended into the crowd; for the moment, it didn't matter which way she went.