Watermelon Mint Mousse Bombs

 

Ingredients

1 1/2 cups fresh watermelon juice, strained

1 1/2 cups heavy cream, chilled

1/4 cup granulated sugar

1 tbsp fresh lime juice

2 tsp gelatin powder

1 drop leaf green gel food coloring

1/2 cup white chocolate chips

1/4 cup heavy cream

1/2 tsp peppermint extract

1 drop neon pink gel food coloring

1 tbsp mini dark chocolate chips (for "seeds")

1 cup white chocolate chips

1/2 cup granulated sugar

1/4 cup water

1/3 cup condensed milk

2 tsp gelatin powder

Bright pink and emerald green gel food coloring

1 tsp edible silver luster dust

6 small fresh mint leaves

1/4 cup black sesame seeds

1 tbsp lime zest

Directions

For the minty pink core, heat 1/4 cup heavy cream until

simmering, then pour over 1/2 cup white chocolate chips.

Let sit for 2 minutes, add peppermint extract, pink

coloring, and mini chocolate chips; stir until smooth.

Pour the ganache into small silicone hemisphere molds

and freeze for 4 hours until solid.

For the watermelon mousse, bloom 2 tsp gelatin in 2

tbsp watermelon juice; heat the remaining juice and

sugar in a small saucepan until simmering.

Stir in the bloomed gelatin and lime juice until dissolved,

then add the green coloring and cool to room

temperature.

Whip the remaining 1 1/2 cups heavy cream to soft

peaks and gently fold into the cooled watermelon base.

Fill large dome molds halfway with the green mousse,

press a frozen pink mint center into the middle, and top

with more mousse.

Freeze the domes for at least 8 hours or until rock solid.

For the mirror glaze, bloom 2 tsp gelatin in 1/4 cup water;

boil sugar, water, and condensed milk in a saucepan.

Remove from heat, stir in gelatin and white chocolate

chips until smooth, then divide into two bowls to tint with

bright pink and emerald green.

Once the glaze reaches 90°F, pour the green glaze over

the frozen domes, then immediately drizzle the pink

glaze over the top for a "rind and fruit" contrast.

Press black sesame seeds around the base of each

dome to mimic seeds and garnish with a fresh mint leaf

and lime zest.

Thaw in the refrigerator for 3 hours and finish with a light

dusting of silver luster dust before serving.

Jade Green. Mango Orange. One Plate That Stops Everything. Barely-set coconut pandan dome, vivid mango coulis flooding the base, shatteringly thin sesame tuile catching the light — the color contrast alone is worth the plate

 

.

🧾 INGREDIENTS

🌿 Coconut Pandan Panna Cotta

400ml / 1¾ cups full-fat coconut milk

200ml / ¾ cup heavy cream

60g / ¼ cup caster sugar

3 tbsp fresh pandan juice (from 8–10 blended pandan

leaves, strained) or 1½ tsp pandan extract

2¼ tsp / 7g powdered gelatin

3 tbsp cold water to bloom gelatin

Pinch of fine sea salt

½ tsp vanilla extract

🥭 Mango Coulis

2 ripe mangoes, peeled and roughly chopped (approx.

400g / 14oz flesh)

2 tbsp caster sugar

1 tbsp fresh lime juice

1 tsp lime zest

Pinch of fine sea salt

🌾 Sesame Tuile

60g / ¼ cup caster sugar

2 tbsp glucose syrup or light corn syrup

1 tbsp unsalted butter

2 tbsp white sesame seeds

1 tbsp black sesame seeds

Pinch of fine sea salt

✨ Finish

Toasted coconut flakes

Fresh mango slices

Fresh mint leaves

Extra mango coulis for drizzling

✨ The pandan turns the coconut milk a deep, vivid jade

green — the color of something tropical and completely

unexpected on a white plate. The mango coulis arrives

amber-orange and floods the base. The tuile catches the

light like stained glass.

🔢 INSTRUCTIONS

Bloom the gelatin by sprinkling over the cold water in a

small bowl — leave untouched for 5 full minutes.

For fresh pandan juice — blend 8–10 pandan leaves with

60ml / ¼ cup water on high for 2 minutes, then strain

through a fine sieve pressing firmly to extract all the vivid

green juice.

Combine the coconut milk, heavy cream, sugar, and salt

in a medium saucepan over medium heat.

🔥 Stir gently until the sugar dissolves completely and

the mixture just begins to steam — do not boil.

Remove from heat and whisk in the bloomed gelatin until

completely dissolved with no granules remaining.

Add the pandan juice, vanilla, and stir until the mixture is

uniformly vivid jade green throughout.

Strain through a fine sieve into a clean pouring jug —

this removes any pandan fibers and ensures a perfectly

smooth dome.

Allow to cool for 8 minutes, stirring occasionally, until the

mixture is just warm rather than hot.

Pour evenly into 4 lightly oiled domed moulds or

ramekins — fill flush to the rim.

🧊 Refrigerate uncovered for 30 minutes then cover

loosely and chill for a minimum of 4 hours — overnight

produces the most vivid color and cleanest unmould.

For the mango coulis — blend the mango flesh, sugar,

lime juice, zest, and salt on high until completely smooth.

Pass through a fine sieve for a perfectly glossy, lump-

free coulis — refrigerate until needed.

For the sesame tuile — combine sugar, glucose syrup,

and butter in a small saucepan over medium heat.

🔥 Cook stirring until the sugar dissolves and the mixture

turns a pale golden amber — remove from heat

immediately.

Stir in both sesame seeds and salt — the mixture will

thicken fast, work quickly.

Drop teaspoon-sized portions onto a parchment-lined

tray and spread very thinly — the thinner the tuile, the

more it catches the light.

🔥 Bake at 175°C / 350°F for 5–6 minutes until golden

and lace-like — cool completely before lifting.

To serve — run a thin knife around each mould edge and

invert onto the plate in one confident motion, flood the

base immediately with cold mango coulis, lean one

sesame tuile against the dome, scatter toasted coconut

flakes, and serve within 60 seconds while the panna

cotta still trembles.

Sweet Citrus. Creamy Tang. Slow Burn. Zero Rules. Cold whipped ricotta, jewel-toned blood orange, and chili crisp oil that arrives last and makes everything dangerous — the crostini that breaks every breakfast rule and improves every brunch table.

 

🧾 INGREDIENTS

🍞 Crostini Base

1 sourdough loaf, sliced 2cm / ¾ inch thick on a

diagonal

3 tbsp extra virgin olive oil

½ tsp flaky sea salt

½ tsp garlic powder

🧀 Whipped Ricotta

300g / 1¼ cups full-fat ricotta, drained overnight

80g / ⅓ cup full-fat cream cheese, softened

2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil

1 tsp fresh lemon juice

½ tsp lemon zest

½ tsp flaky sea salt

Cracked white pepper

🍊 Blood Orange

3 blood oranges, peeled and sliced into thin rounds

(3mm / ⅛ inch)

1 tsp raw honey

Pinch of flaky sea salt

🌶️ Chili Crisp

4 tbsp good quality chili crisp oil (store-bought or

homemade)

(homemade option below)

🌶️ Quick Homemade Chili Crisp

80ml / ⅓ cup neutral oil

3 garlic cloves, thinly sliced

2 shallots, thinly sliced

2 tbsp chili flakes

1 tsp smoked paprika

1 tsp caster sugar

1 tbsp soy sauce

½ tsp fine sea salt

✨ Finish

Fresh mint leaves

Flaky sea salt

Extra honey drizzle (optional)

Microgreens (optional)

✨ The blood orange slices are jewel-toned and

translucent where the light passes through — deep

crimson against cold ivory ricotta. The chili crisp arrives

amber-red and glossy and changes everything the

moment it hits the citrus.

🔢 INSTRUCTIONS

If making homemade chili crisp — heat the neutral oil in

a small saucepan over medium heat until shimmering.

🔥 Add the sliced garlic and shallots and fry for 3–4

minutes until deeply golden and crisp — watch closely

as they color fast.

Add the chili flakes, smoked paprika, and sugar — stir for

30 seconds until fragrant and the oil turns deep amber-

red.

Remove from heat, stir in the soy sauce and salt, and

cool completely — the crisp hardens further as it cools.

Preheat the oven to 200°C / 400°F and line a large tray

with parchment.

Brush both sides of each sourdough slice generously

with olive oil and season with salt and garlic powder.

🔥 Bake for 10–12 minutes flipping once at the halfway

point until deeply golden, char-marked, and shatteringly

crisp at the edges.

Cool completely on a wire rack before topping — hot

crostini softens the ricotta immediately.

Drain the ricotta overnight in a cloth-lined sieve — the

drier the ricotta, the thicker and more stable the whipped

base.

Beat the drained ricotta, cream cheese, olive oil, lemon

juice, zest, salt, and white pepper together until

completely smooth and airy — 90 seconds in a food

processor or 2 minutes by hand.

Taste the ricotta — it should be tangy, creamy, and

slightly sharp. Adjust lemon or salt if needed.

Peel the blood oranges by cutting away the rind and pith

completely — slice into 3mm / ⅛ inch rounds and

remove any seeds.

Toss the blood orange rounds very gently with honey and

a pinch of flaky salt — handle carefully to keep the

rounds intact.

Pile the whipped ricotta generously onto each cooled

crostini — spoon high and drag the knife through once

for visible texture peaks.

🍊 Lay 2–3 blood orange rounds directly onto the ricotta

— slightly overlapping and angled to show the full jewel-

toned cross-section.

🌶️ Spoon the chili crisp generously over the blood

orange slices — include both the oil and the crispy bits

for maximum texture and visual drama.

Let the chili oil pool naturally at the ricotta edge without

spreading or interfering.

Tuck fresh mint leaves beside the blood orange, finish

with a pinch of flaky sea salt across the full crostini

surface, and serve immediately while the sourdough is

still shattering.

Trust the Cottage Cheese. Thank Yourself Later. Crispy charred flatbread, whipped cottage cheese that tastes nothing like you expect, pickled jalapeños cutting through the cream, hot honey flooding everything — protein-packed, fiery, and gone before the second flatbread is even plated.

🌶️ 

🧾 INGREDIENTS

🫓 Flatbread

250g / 2 cups plain flour

1 tsp instant yeast

1 tsp fine sea salt

1 tsp caster sugar

150ml / ⅔ cup warm water

2 tbsp olive oil

Extra olive oil for cooking

🧀 Whipped Cottage Cheese

400g / 1¾ cups full-fat cottage cheese

60g / ¼ cup full-fat cream cheese, softened

2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil

1 tsp fresh lemon juice

½ tsp lemon zest

½ tsp flaky sea salt

Cracked black pepper

🫙 Quick Pickled Jalapeños

6–8 fresh jalapeños, thinly sliced into rounds

120ml / ½ cup white wine vinegar

120ml / ½ cup water

1 tbsp caster sugar

1 tsp fine sea salt

2 garlic cloves, lightly crushed

½ tsp black peppercorns

🍯 Hot Honey

80ml / ⅓ cup raw honey

1–2 tsp chili flakes

1 tsp apple cider vinegar

Pinch of flaky sea salt

✨ Finish

Fresh dill fronds

Thinly sliced scallions

Extra chili flakes

Flaky sea salt

✨ Cottage cheese blitzed with cream cheese and olive

oil becomes something completely unrecognizable —

thick, smooth, and tangy in the best possible way. The

pickled jalapeños cut through the cream with acid and

heat. The hot honey closes everything down.

🔢 INSTRUCTIONS

Make the pickled jalapeños first — combine the vinegar,

water, sugar, salt, garlic, and peppercorns in a small

saucepan over medium heat.

🔥 Stir until the sugar and salt dissolve completely —

bring to a gentle boil then remove from heat immediately.

Pack the jalapeño rounds tightly into a clean jar and pour

the hot pickling liquid over the top — submerge

completely.

Cool to room temperature then refrigerate for a minimum

of 30 minutes — 2 hours produces a sharper, more vivid

pickle.

Make the hot honey — warm the honey, chili flakes,

apple cider vinegar, and salt in a small pan over low heat

for 2–3 minutes until fragrant and loose.

Set aside to infuse and cool — the longer it sits, the more

heat it develops.

Combine the flour, yeast, salt, and sugar in a large bowl

— add warm water and olive oil and mix into a rough

dough.

Knead on a lightly floured surface for 6–8 minutes until

smooth and elastic.

Rest in a lightly oiled bowl covered with a damp cloth for

45 minutes until doubled.

Meanwhile blitz the cottage cheese, cream cheese, olive

oil, lemon juice, zest, salt, and pepper in a food processor

for 90 seconds until completely smooth and airy.

Taste the whipped cottage cheese — it should be tangy,

creamy, and slightly sharp. Refrigerate until assembly.

Divide the proved dough into 4 equal pieces and roll each

into a thin oval approximately 25x15cm / 10x6 inches.

Heat a heavy skillet or griddle pan over the highest heat

until smoking.

🔥 Cook each flatbread dry for 2–3 minutes per side until

deeply blistered, charred in spots, and rigid — press

firmly with a spatula for maximum char contact.

Remove from the pan and allow to cool for 60 seconds

— the flatbread firms and crisps further as it rests.

Spread the whipped cottage cheese generously across

each warm flatbread in one confident swooping motion

— take it edge to edge.

🌶️ Pile the pickled jalapeño rounds generously across

the cottage cheese — distribute unevenly for visual

texture.

Pour the hot honey heavily across the full flatbread

surface in a slow, generous pour — let it flood between

the jalapeños and drip over one edge onto the plate, then

scatter fresh dill, sliced scallions, and flaky salt before

serving immediately.

Aunt Played it Well!!

Over the Phone Call:-

I made a call to Vikash on Thursday Evening around 8:00 pm.

[Phone Ringing]

Vikash – Hello! Haan yaar, Tell me.

Me:- Hey bro, where you were? I made the call before also in the morning, you didn’t pick up the call.

Vikash:- Yes, I was in Team Meeting at the office.

Me:- Anyways, what’s the plan for the weekend ? let’s meet at ‘Yatri Nivas Restaurant’ ?.

Vikash: No Yaar, On Friday Night ( Tomorrow), I am leaving for Bangalore. Me: Why?

Vikash: Ehh, There I am going to meet a Girl for Marriage Proposal.

Me: Okay, All the Best !! Let me know the outcome at earliest. When are you coming back?

Vikash: Monday Morning I will be back and then attend office.

Me: Fine, then let’s catch you on Saturday, if you like her 60%, then simply say okay and fix it.

Vikash : Chalo , bye, take care .

Me: Yup, Bye Bro, All the best !!

[ I disconnect the Phone ]

Over WhatsApp chat between me and Vikash

Me: Hey, How it was? Met? what happened?

Vikash: Yaa I met her, I will tell you later.

Me: Arey but tell, oaky just mention it is positive (or) negative?

Vikash: I will tell you, not now.

Me: Okay.

Vikash: hmmm

I didn’t force him much to tell me what happened during that time frame, It is better to give breathing space and anyway when we meet or talk next time, he will surely share it to me.

I didn’t hear back anything almost complete week, for my curiosity, I decide to make a call directly now.

On Following Friday Evening - Over a call

I made a call to Vikash, asking about this Bangalore trip and Marriage Proposal. In response, he asks me to listen to the narration of the whole incident.

Now as he suggested to me , I just keep calm. He starts his narration the whole incident which I listen with utmost focus without uttering a single word.

Vikash’s Narration:-

On Friday, I took the train from Kacheguda Railway station to Bangalore, and reach there around 7:30 am. After that, I went to my cousin's house, which stays around 20 km away from the station. That day (Saturday), after freshen up, we first went to the site seeing the city area and relax. So this summarizes Saturday.

Next Morning( Sunday) around 9:30 am we started for their house, My cousin already informed them about our arrival. After 35 mins, we reached there.

Now listen carefully.

We went inside, then Aunty Ji came, and after a few minutes, her daughter also appears and sat beside me quietly. Because she was sitting just beside me, So I was making efforts to see her face. If she sits in front of me, then it could have been better. While seeing her, I realized that her photo which I had is not matching to her. By this time, Aunty Ji brought a few snacks includes - Samosa, Namkeen, Cool Drinks, and Fried Kaju.

She came and sat in front of me after offering us the snacks. There was a long silence for few minutes, and then Aunty Ji start asking few basic questions which my family have already informed to them previously, but just to initiate something she asked the same old question

Like Where you are working? How long you have been working there? Can you be able to shift to Bangalore? etc. By this time almost 20 minutes passed. We hear the doorbell. Aunty Ji gets up and opened the door. Another Girl comes – She looks shabby, hairs are not combed, wearing a T-shirt , shorts, sports shoes sweating profusely. It appears like she is coming from basketball ground. She enters the drawing-room, said ‘Hello’ to us and sat in front of me.

Now I was looking at both the girls - one who is well dressed for the instance sitting beside me and this new entry and sitting in front of me. Believe me yaar, for at least 5 seconds I didn’t understand what is happening. My cousin conveniently ignoring me and pretending to show interest in painting at the wall and other decorations.

Aunty Ji speaks now:-

‘See Beta, That is (Pointing to the girl beside me) Madhu, my younger daughter, she completed her Degree this year and working as an Intern at a Private firm. And This (Shabby girl) is Ruby – My Elder daughter — Actually we sent her proposal to you and basically you have come here to see her. But the thing is Beta, that yesterday night only Ruby’s marriage is fixed and we said ‘yes’ to that family.

But as you have already reached to Bangalore, so we figured out that – We will show our younger daughter to you. So, now the girl which you should be seeing is not Ruby, rather it is Madhu. Beta – Basically there is no difference in height, appearance, and Education between both of them, In fact Madhu is 3 years younger than Ruby.’

Believe me, this came as a shock of a lifetime to me.

Girl in front of me – (Ruby) was also nodding head agreeing to her mother. And I see no sign of tension or guilt for calling me here and stating a story of surprise. Anyways after few seconds, I replied to Aunty - ‘But Aunty, you are saying that both are same in all aspects, but my question is feeling wise, emotion wise, intellectual level every human differ.

Yes Beta, but everything happens so suddenly that we didn’t get time to inform your family member. I believe my cousin knew the whole story yesterday only because he was not at all saying or reacting anything.

This is part- 01 of the surprise I faced

[After listening everything, I burst out in laughter over the call]

Me: [Laughter] [Laughter] ..

Vikash: You enjoyed it Right ?.

Me: Oh ho ho, God, I knew something will definitely go wrong. But this much wrong I didn’t expect. [Laughs]. Basically, it is Chucking Frazee [Laugh]...So finally what happened ? You came empty-handed? What is the second part of the surprise?.

Vikash:- hmm, Listen again completely, now I am telling you the second part of the whole episode.

Vikash Narration – Second Part

” I don’t know Aunty Ji, what to say and do, this came as surprise to me, From last 15 days I am seeing one girl photos and now you are showing me another as a replacement. Aunty Ji put forward the Dialogue running since the ages - ‘Beta, Marriages are made in heaven, and the journey is uncertain’.

“Yaa, but it not what I came prepared, Please tell me what to do because I am currently clueless. “

She asks me to get to know her younger daughter (Madhu), and suggest to take a walk till nearby CCD. So finally we decided to take a walk after 10 mins walk we both (me and Madhu) reached CCD.

I ordered 2 cold coffee and we start interacting. She actually understood what I was going thru, so she initiated the talk which basically I liked.

Interaction Between Madhu and Vikash at CCD - The outcome of their sudden interaction turns out to be a bit positive. Madhu tries to calm down Vikash for instance that happens to him and while knowing each other, finds him an optimal person for her. To answer Vikash question for ‘What he should be saying at home as her answer’ She said “Yes” to Vikash. This was some sort of relief to him and finally, he is coming out not empty-handed.

Then we finally exchange our phone numbers and I made a call to my cousin to come to CCD and from there we went to his room and the next morning came back to Hyderabad “

Me: So you were saying, there is a second surprise, but as I heard this girl Madhu said “YES” to you. Then it is good na.

Vikash: Listen, listen, After I come back to Hyderabad, I made calls to my elder brothers and speak to them for about 1 hour each. They were equally shocked and surprised. But after listening with patience they asked me to say “Yes” to Madhu and step up to the next level.

I inform the same to Madhu and asked her to speak to Aunty Ji and let me know how to take it to the next level.

WhatsApp Reply from Madhu to Vikash - Next morning, she dropped me a WhatsApp message stating ”I have asked my mother, she informed me that it is too early to decide in one meeting, we need more time to think and as I am already working as an intern in a company in the Bangalore, It is basically time to focus on the career. So she wants to see more proposals, as we can’t fix on the first proposal we meet.”

Me: Oh God, it is too much F****.. shit. !

Vikash: See the dual standards — That day when I went there, within a few minutes Aunty Ji asked me to make a choice. But now after having her “Yes”, I informed my family members and with great efforts convince them to opt for the available proposal, now they are saying “How can we decide in just one meeting ?”

Me: hmm, Bhai, she literally played with you. This is like highway robbery.

Vikash: Hmm, that’s the thing, the person who suffered emotionally, financially and socially is me, not them. For them, it is simple yes and no game. See my point is If you think you have a brain and mind, it is fine but that doesn’t allow you to do anything to anyone.

Me: Really this is a hilarious , sad and Weird situation. It is like a mini-movie plot. The only person who made efforts and lost is just ‘You’ and no one.

Well, you don’t take tension, nowadays the world is not for people like us.

I have known many instances, sometimes it is weird than yours also, but really in this nothing is your fault.

Vikash: I spent around 12,000 INR for the entire journey, opted for leave, and suffered emotionally, and get nothing but zeros.

Me:- No problem bro, things will roll off smooth soon.

Let’s meet someday. But tell your family everything and stay calm.

Vikash:- Yup, but all the time I was just thinking that lady (Aunty Ji) just played it her own way. She was so much shrewd and cunning. I wish she gets a taste of her own medicine one day.

Me:- It will happen definitely, Believe me, it is better you are saved from that family. But really your experience should be shared to people, I will write a story out of it if you allow.

Vikash:- Make a movie Man, who cares.

Me: Chal, 1 hour on call now, mom is calling me for dinner see you soon, bye

Vikash: bye

Phone disconnects.

Whiskey and Thermos

On a freezing day in Pune, I decided to take my thermos to college. I had been ill for a few days, taking regular doses of codeine to relieve my cough. The doctor had advised me to drink hot water until it got better, thus I was following his cue.

Keeping the water to boil on the stove, I began packing my essential. After some time; I realized that the stove had still not been turned off, hence, I dashed into the kitchen only to find the water boiling vigorously. Cursing my own habit to forget things, I quickly got the water down and filled it in the thermos, burning my fingers in the process, which was again a habitual ritual. There was still some time left for college, so, I again kept some water on the stove, stayed rooted in the kitchen until the water got hot enough for me, and then began sipping it slowly, enjoying the warmth of the cup on my palm and my mind wandered off to a hilariously funny incident that occurred when I was in 10th.

It was another boring day at school………with teachers blabbering something and most of us dozing off. English class was the worst, with even the staff that had come for inspection dozing off. The first English class ended and the “ENGLISH INSPECTORS” ran off as quickly as possible. It was us, the heroic students of Grade 10B, who had to bear her for another torturous 35 minutes. Most of us dozed off, whereas, I, a seemingly sincere, studious, and mostly silent student had to bear this abuse.

To add on to this, I had a severe cough and cold, thus, I was sitting huddled in my jacket, with my thermos accompanying me. It seems that this thermos was bound to follow me everywhere!!! Anyways, feeling the phlegm rise in my throat, I quickly un-capped my thermos and took a long sip, grimacing as the really hot water went down my throat, burning it……This drew some attention, of my most honorable English professor, Miss Quack Quack, just kidding, Miss Pique.

Actually, a month earlier, 2 boys were caught smuggling 2 bottles of Bacardi Breezer and a bottle of Whiskey…They poured these alcoholic drinks in plastic water bottles and distributed it to everyone who wanted to get their hands dirty. Unfortunately, they were caught and suspended for a week. Trust boys to mess things up. Along with them, some elite students of the batch were also caught, not me, of course…As a result of this, the teachers watched us like hawks, not even allowing us to take a sip of water from someone else’s bottle.

Okay, back to the present, Miss Pique asked me what was I drinking, to which, I simply replied, “Hot Water, Miss”. This shut her up, but the next time I drank out of my loyal thermos and my eyes watered, she looked at me sharply and asked me to hand over the thermos.

“But why miss???” I asked or pretended to ask timidly.

“Because, young girl, I suspect that something fishy is going on over here,” was her snarky reply.

“Ma’am with all due respect, the only fishy thing that’s going on is at the last bench,” I replied, pointing at Riya and Dhruv. This caused a round of laughter goes through the class, with few boys wolf-whistling…

“Shut it!!!!” Miss Pique screamed.“And, now, if you don’t mind Mira, hand over that thermos.”

Sensing an opportunity to make a fool out of her, I replied “Ma’am, I strongly advise you against it. This thing nearly burnt my throat and I don’t know what consequence it would have against your tender throat”

“Hand it over, now,” she said in a low and dangerous tone.

“Ma’am, this is very strong…… I…I…I meant strongly hot.” I replied, stammering on purpose.

“Whiskey huh????” someone asked, fuelling madam’s anger to a point wherein she approached me and snatched away the open thermos, sniffed it and after not smelling anything suspicious, was about to give it back to me, when Arjun, the troublemaker said “ It’s impressive how she managed to fool ma’am so easily. Really commendable.”

This dialogue hit right on target and our old Miss Pique suddenly gulped a mouthful of hot water from my thermos only to swallow it in the most hilarious manner, with her eyes bulging out like that of a bullfrog, only to scream later in anguish. She paced around the class, trying to dissolve the burning feeling in her throat. What was she thinking that I’m a whiskey smuggler??? And, the bell rang. What an eventful finish!!!!!

We ran victorious out of the class and the story of how we made a living joke out of her was the talk of the school for that entire year. Even the teachers made fun of it!!!

“Come on, we have to go, getting a bit late here.” My friend instructed, snapping me out of my dreamland.

“Yep, coming,” I replied, “Hey, by the way, do we have Geography today???” I asked.

“Yaaaaa….I don’t know how I’m gonna bear her,” was her reply.

“Don’t worry. You will today,” I replied smiling sheepishly as I closed the door behind me, with the thermos safely enclosed in my bag.

Love affair that went sour

I was a guava goblin and I could eat them all day long. I had uncles and aunts bring her to me in dozens when they visited. I extolled her virtues endlessly and bullied her shamelessly out of my little cousins. When my siblings fought with me and it was time for an apology, guava was usually the olive branch. Yeah, guavas were my favourite fruit. Until one summer came and my love affair with her, well changed.

As children on summer vacation, we waited for my mom to get to work. Once she left, we let ourselves out too. Our unbridled selves bullied the neighbours’ kids, terrorised their pets, broke windowpanes, rummaged their gardens and played in the sun until she roasted us a golden brown.

That afternoon, we decided to have ourselves a merry little guava fest. Our neighbour’s garden had a very pregnant guava tree. Her branches dangled with green guavas, red guavas and yellow ones too. And the thoughtful tree that she was, she dropped as many guavas as she could on my neighbour’s terrace.

The modus operandi was simple. The adults next door were religious afternoon nappers. While they slumber, I clamber up, gather as many guavas as I could and scramble down quickly. Meanwhile, my brothers downstairs would alert me if an adult showed up. A whistle meant, drop everything and hide.

Here’s how I think of it today. My neighbour’s architect had a bout of amnesia. Only that could explain why he forgot to install a stairway to their terrace. Either that or the folks next door had an awful amount of fun, using a ladder to climb up and down their own roof.

After mounting the ladder, our plan was in full swing. Until the gentleman from next door threw a spanner in our wheel. He decided he could use a smoke. And enjoy the shade of the guava tree while doing so.

The smoker under the tree made my brother a little nervous. And my brother usually combatted frayed nerves by breaking into a high pitched song. A coping mechanism he learnt at the dramatics school.

Yeah, we were on shaky grounds but we carried on diligently. Until my brother decided to employ another trick from his wretched dramatics school. He decided to wave his arms around wildly while singing. Our neighbour after probably wondering if the heat got to my brother, looked up curiously. Probably to see who my brother was waving out too.

Ah, and what does one see – guava stealing goblin, perched prettily on the wall of his terrace.

So now, we have two gentleman battling frayed nerves. The adult probably didn’t go to drama school, so he decides to soothe his frayed nerves by confiscating the ladder. Detaining the prowler upstairs seemed to calm his nerves and he intended to keep it that way. For a while at least.

I was all alone on a terrace, thirsty, hungry and teary-eyed with no means of getting down. I now officially join the group battling edgy nerves, and my nerves decide to sort themselves out by eating my favourite fruit.

I ate out of anxiety, I ate out of hunger and I ate out of thirst. I ate till I could eat no more and I ate till I was sick. By the time my neighbour restored the ladder, the damage was done. My love affair with the guava had ended. Painfully and permanently.