Do it so I don't remember...

The author of this account, presented in episode 21 of the "Witnesses Speak" podcast, has experienced unusual phenomena since childhood, which she attributes to encounters with UFOs and extraterrestrials. In this extensive account, she shares her experiences, visions, and hypnosis, which have sparked both fear and curiosity in her over the years. Are these encounters the result of alien activity, spiritual manifestations, or merely dream visions? The author attempts to answer this question by sharing with readers and listeners the extraordinary events from her life.

Do it so I don't remember

I've been listening to your radio for some time now, and some of the programs have touched on topics and situations similar to those I've experienced. Since the gallery where I work is closed now, during the coronavirus crisis (I'm writing this report in March 2020), and I have a lot of free time, I decided to share my experiences. Maybe it will help someone, just as I found answers to my own questions in the testimonies of some witnesses.

I'm 43 years old and live in the capital, between a representative military unit and a small military airport near Okęcie Airport. I've been interested in paranormal phenomena since I was a child. I'll emphasize that the topic of UFOs isn't my specialty. Sure, I understand the nature of things and what they entail, but it's not like I crave every bit of information and would kill for all my memories. If I had to choose, I'd prioritize cryptozoology, life between lives, the planet's ancient mysteries, time-related phenomena, and aliens somewhere further down the line. Which doesn't mean that over the years I haven't noticed that these phenomena are somehow connected.

To the point. From my youth, I retained the belief that I participated in so-called "abductions," and it even cost me a lot of stress in my teens. However, as I got older, certain events faded, and I attributed it to emotional instability in childhood. It was just my head making things up. For a while. A few years ago, I participated in four past-life hypnotic regression sessions with three different hypnotherapists, aimed at finding the cause of depressive moods, problems finding a partner, and forming a relationship. [At the author's request, the names of the session leaders are omitted.]In the sessions I attended, while recalling childhood events, the topic of UFO abductions suddenly emerged, out of the blue. This surprised both me and the hypnotherapists.

My intention, the purpose I brought to my first session, was to uncover the cause of my breakup with my boyfriend and heal my broken heart, and then to discover why I was having trouble finding the right partner. And I found confirmation that what I thought were imaginary situations—dreams that had accompanied me my entire life—were actually happening. Just so you don't think I only believe in spiritual therapies and solutions, a year ago I underwent a year and a half of psychotherapy with a certified psychologist from the Kobiece Serca Foundation, who has nothing to do with spiritual development in the broadest sense. This was also to check if I was imagining things.

Even though paranormal phenomena are my hobby, that's how I treat them – as a pleasant escape from everyday life, not a way of life. I have my feet firmly planted on the ground to believe in something; I need hard facts; I don't drift away, and I don't believe everything. I have rather limited trust in other users of the paranormal world. I don't move in spiritual circles, and I don't have friends interested in the same topics. I've shared my knowledge from sessions on Facebook spiritual forums a few times, mostly foreign ones. But every time I encounter stories from witnesses of such encounters, I sometimes see significant similarities.

Before I share the various events that took place, I wanted to write that I divide my experiences into those that happened 100% (facts), those that I cannot classify – whether they are memories, dreams, strange phenomena (memories) – and what I said during the session (hypnosis).

2

I've been familiar with the UFO phenomenon since childhood. My father was passionate about the subject. He collected all the press clippings about alien and UFO encounters. At one point in his life, he even said he woke up in the middle of the night to find a large saucer with colored lights in the yard. But then, over the years, he started claiming he'd had a dream, then that he'd imagined something, and eventually he'd become drunk. Now he refuses to talk about it at all, won't say whether it's true or not, but won't say anything—he sits silently and gets very upset. He's over 70 years old now, and I can't get anything out of him. He only promised to look for that folder of clippings. I asked my mother about strange phenomena, if she remembers anything. But she claims nothing paranormal. Yes, she has dreams and they do come true (my grandmother, her mother, was a well-known fortune teller in several villages and used cards), but strange lights and UFOs – not.

Anyway, around the age of 6 or 7, I stole that folder of clippings and stared at the pictures, and when I learned to read, I was able to familiarize myself with the contents. My father didn't talk about it; he kept the folder hidden high on the loft; he didn't show it to me. He only told me about his experiences later. The folder mostly contained clippings about encounters of the First and Second Kind, but there was also a typical drawing of an alien, which didn't frighten or surprise me, because I'd seen such things before. I accepted it as normal. Just like tigers and elephants exist in the world. Nothing to wonder about.

My first memory is from the age of 2-3 (1978-79) when I was being taken from my crib by a figure who appeared next to it through a tunnel in the wall. He would take me somewhere that way and then put me back. But every child has an imaginary companion 😉The next incident occurred when I was perhaps 4 or 5 years old (1980-81). I woke up in the night, sat up in bed, and saw flashing lights through the glass in the closed door to the next room. I was sleeping in bed with my head toward the door, which was separated by a meter-long hallway from the next door to the next room. The glare was coming through the window of the second room. The light must have been so intense that it passed through both thick, frosted panes of glass in both doors. It was a pulsating blue-reddish-whitish light. I thought it must have been an ambulance or the police, because it reminded me of beacons on cars, but I couldn't hear any sirens. I don't remember anything else; I think I went to sleep.

Recently, I've been wondering if it really was an ambulance parked near the window, except... we lived on the third floor. If the car had been parked on the street, the light wouldn't have reached so high and refracted at an angle into the other room. Something must have been shining from the same level.

Later, a series of more public encounters (memory) followed. It began on Christmas Eve (I remember this very well), also around that same time in my life. I woke up in the night to lights appearing in the sky at high speed outside my window, approaching. There were two of them, maneuvering rapidly. I went to the window and saw, higher up, between my building and the other one, a flying "bus and tram" (as I called it then), both with glowing, changing lights all around them. I was very surprised that Santa Claus had flown to me, but a little disappointed that he hadn't flown in a sleigh with reindeer, but in a tram and a bus. I had no doubt it had to be him. I opened the door and stepped out onto the balcony. I was a little afraid because it was winter, and my mother didn't let me go without slippers or go out on the balcony alone. But I felt this inner urge to break the ban.

3

I noticed out of the corner of my eye that both my parents were asleep and nothing had woken them. We lived with my parents in one room, my grandparents and uncle in the other. I wasn't cold at all, and I didn't feel the cold concrete under my feet. Something told me (in my mind) to go up and stand on the balcony railing, but it was very high, about my height. I don't remember how I got there. Something told me again not to be afraid, to stand firmly with both feet and take a step forward. I was very scared at this point, because it was the third floor, and how could I place my foot "in space—in the air"? But after a moment's hesitation, I gave in, and it turned out I hadn't fallen, I had simply suspended in space. It was a bit like being suspended in water, but the feeling was warm and pleasant, like stepping on a slightly flexing surface. A feeling similar to stepping on a trampoline. Then I found myself inside the "tram." I was a bit surprised that it was quite empty. There were four beings there, besides me, but I can't remember what they looked like, or their faces. They weren't adults or children, though. They seemed to be dolls or teddy bears, as they weren't much taller than me.

I was taken for a ride. Very fast and with many twists and turns. I remember enjoying it immensely and feeling a sinking feeling in my stomach, like flying. At the back, close behind us, was Santa's "bus." It was the same size as the one I was in, but slightly different. They weren't identical. Later, "Santa" showed me my apartment building as it looked from above, and I remember approaching it so quickly that I felt a knot of fear in my stomach. As we approached, I noticed the building was illuminated by a pale blue light from the "tram." I don't remember how I got to my room.I remember that these visits later became quite regular. I don't remember them negatively. I rather looked forward to these meetings. However, I do recall a few years later flying in a small plane, a Wilga I think, with three other children over the airport, as part of my parents' work at LOT Polish Airlines. I was terrified because the plane seemed very unstable, and even more so when I saw my house from above. Exactly as I had seen it during that ride with Nicholas. I wanted to get off as quickly as possible.

I also took a similar helicopter ride from the airport in Dajtki. The helicopter had a glass front, all the way to the legs. Then I remembered that while I was on the "tram," I could see everything outside through its deck. It was transparent. I was terrified because I was already older. I didn't board another plane until I was 37. I developed a complete fear of flying.

I don't remember much else from that period. Besides the constant feeling that someone was behind the curtain, and the fear of going to the bathroom at night, especially when passing the kitchen. Another thing – during this period, I suffered constantly from ear infections, and sometimes my knees would ache for no apparent reason. Doctors couldn't find the cause of this pain.

The next, perhaps conscious, "encounter" occurred when I was finishing primary school (1991). The first (actual) experience took place during a vacation at my grandmother's. One afternoon, something "commanded" me to go to the forest, about 1 km away. Something drew me there, and even though I didn't want to go, as if urged by an inner voice (my own or someone else's), I went. When it comes to describing the feeling of "compulsion" in such situations, I most associate it with sexual arousal. It builds and builds, until finally, you're forced to do other things because you have to satisfy your desire.

4

As I walked into the forest, I held a tiny vase of sand and a necklace on a string – a gift from my boyfriend at the time. I walked about 600-700 meters along the road into the forest. I climbed a hill and came to a small clearing, a fork in the road. Then I looked around and realized something was wrong. I thought I heard thunder, but even though the sky was covered in white milk, there was no sign of an approaching storm. A strange feeling of unease came over me, and I also noticed that I couldn't hear the birds singing and that the leaves on the trees were stirring.

I fell into a kind of lethargy, feeling like I was drifting off. And when I came to, I saw the vase smashed on the ground. I didn't think twice about it and ran home. For a long time, I couldn't control myself, even though theoretically nothing could have frightened me. I didn't meet anyone along the way, nothing happened. The "time freeze" effect and that terrible silence have accompanied me many times since, and they are the most terrifying thing to me, because I know something is about to happen over which I have no control.

From that moment on, throughout high school (1991-1996), the most exhausting and tormenting experiences began to unfold. I remember being afraid to fall asleep because I was afraid something would drag me out of my room—and certainly not ghosts or criminals. So I'd stay up late at night, trying to stay awake so I could control what was happening around me. Because of this, I started skipping school and coming to classes later because I was constantly sleep-deprived. Sometimes I could sense when visits would come. From the very evening, I simply felt something was wrong. I called it "just not today"—this growing anxiety, telling myself, "Please, just not today. Another time, but not today."

Back then, I organized my surroundings. I slept so I could see doors and windows, with my back to the wall, but never facing that direction. The windows were uncovered so I could monitor what was happening behind them. All drawers and wardrobe doors were closed. Whenever I was conscious, it always began similarly. First, there was a truly terrifying silence (a "time freeze" effect, as I later learned during a hypnosis session). At this stage, it was impossible to wake my parents—no screams reached them. Then came deafening silence, silence, and a slight buzzing in my head. I compare it to the sensations of fainting—a slight squeal and buzzing in my head before losing consciousness.Next, there was a gentle pressure around the nose, as if someone had placed two fingers on either side and pressed lightly. Simultaneously, there was a slight pressure between the eyebrows and on the forehead (though I'd never seen any of my visitors physically do this with their hands). Then came a great, uncontrollable drowsiness, accompanied by a slight tingling sensation in the tips of my fingers and toes. This trembling spread further along my body, followed by numbness, which eventually turned into complete paralysis, while consciousness remained. The area above the lip and jaw were the last to go numb. This was also the area where the numbness lasted longest after "waking up." Eventually, all I could do was move my eyes. I had never been blinded.

The panic and fear at this stage are uncontrollable. A sense of helplessness, impotence, fear of the unknown, and at the same time, despair that no one will be able to help, even if you're in the same room with someone. Because time has stopped for these people (and everyone else), they're in lethargy, while I'm in a kind of "timelessness." Then comes the internal struggle with a progressive feeling of drowsiness, which, as you know, is followed by complete enslavement and subsequent loss of memory of what happened. Sometimes the memory loss occurred gradually, as if I were gently falling asleep, and sometimes it happened suddenly.

I had a dog at the time, but it never barked. What's more, it started moving into my grandparents' room at night and coming to my place during the day. I also had a cat, but I didn't notice anything happening to it. I don't remember seeing any lights during that time. I'd black out, and that was it. I'd wake up exhausted in the morning. I started writing down my experiences and the alien dreams I had at the time because they were so vivid.

5

One time, I was seriously scared (true). I was jolted awake by the sound of thunder; it felt like a storm. I noticed, to my horror, that I was lying on my back, practically levitating in the air, facing the ceiling... but at a height of about 50-60 cm above the bed, and I couldn't move. The same stage as I described earlier – when all I could do was move my eyes. I looked to my right, and at the same moment, out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of two gray beings (I don't remember their faces, they looked more like a light gray mist) quickly jumping away from me, and I fell limply from the height onto the bed. Only then did I regain feeling in my body. I have the impression that I woke up too soon than my nocturnal guests expected, or maybe they hadn't yet managed to lull me to sleep. I don't remember what happened next, but my neck hurt for several days.

After that incident, I was almost on the verge of insanity, especially since I also had other problems at home. I figured there was no point in resisting, because I couldn't win against this phenomenon. And one day I said out loud, "Okay, if you have to do this, then fine, do it. I won't interfere, but I don't want to have a single memory of this visit. You have to do it so I don't remember anything."After that incident, there was a relative calm regarding these phenomena, and I focused on my more mundane problems. All these encounters, however, awakened in me a great desire to learn more about paranormal phenomena. I devoted myself to studying astrology, paleoastronautics, and various branches of the paranormal. The topic of UFOs ceased to be a priority, and over time, I began to think that these were just fears of my teenage years and childhood. Some children are afraid of dragons, the dark, and ghosts, while I was afraid of aliens.

I only remember a situation (a fact) when, while on vacation with my parents near Gdańsk, some beachgoers from our group mentioned seeing a UFO over the sea. I thought, "Oh well, they'll find me anyway, if they want."

Eight or nine years later, my ex-husband and I were on vacation, also at the seaside, and we had a strange experience. We went by car to explore the area. I don't remember what we were seeing – whether it was a lighthouse or other historical sites. We were alone, and we didn't meet anyone during the trip. After the sightseeing, we got in the car to continue our journey. We were driving through a field when I noticed that the watch on my wrist had stopped somewhere before 12 noon and was still there. To make matters even stranger, my ex-husband noticed that the second watch wasn't working either, and it had stopped at the same time. I don't remember if it was his watch or one stuck to the dashboard in the car. But they were two watches – both with faces, not electronic ones. The third watch showed 3:00 PM, and later it turned out to be working correctly. This surprised us, especially the fact that three hours had passed. We were convinced the sightseeing had taken no more than 30-40 minutes.

6

In 2005, I had some concerns about aliens during my pregnancy. Other mothers feared whether their babies would be born healthy, while I worried that someone would steal my daughter from my belly, as I already knew such situations could happen. So I had several nights of anxiety, listening for the "terrifying" silence.

The topic of UFOs went quiet for a few years, and then randomly resurfaced during a hypnosis session. At a certain point in my life, unable to come to terms with a breakup with my then-partner, my worsening depression, and my family's experiences, I decided to try hypnosis. Already interested in spiritual development, I decided to combine the two and try hypnosis for the life between lives to find out why things were happening to me. I decided to schedule a session with a hypnotherapist from the Newton Institute. I waited a year for Ms. Iwona to come to Poland, and in 2014, I underwent two hypnosis sessions. The topic of UFOs wasn't discussed during the sessions. It didn't occur to me to ask about such things. I considered the topic of nighttime visits to me closed, and the main focus was on resolving my psychological issues. Only in the context of my "mismatch" in relationships did we wonder if I might be a "hybrid" soul who had previously incarnated on other planets. But during the session, it turned out that I was absolutely not. My first incarnation was as a human killed by a saber-toothed cat, a smilodon, in the distant past, and subsequent incarnations also proved to be typically human.That's why what emerged from the session was a big surprise for us, because it reminded me and confirmed what happened to me in my childhood.

Me: And that... because I see Earth... I also see another planet. This level... where I am now, on this level... yes, I see that... uhmmm... I mean, we know each other, because we know each other... He's not from Earth. I'm not scared by the sight of him, because he shows me his true form. (I saw a typical Gray. He revealed his form to me because he was covered in fog. I wasn't surprised by this sight.) I mean... I know all of them in general... Yeah... because I was 15-16, I was terribly scared. They would come and I would work with them, but it was good, no, no, no... Aaaah... because I had a lot of emotions, and they're learning about these emotions too, and they wanted to observe a little, to show me. Yes, I showed them, but later no, no, no, not anymore, so they wouldn't come, because the body gets very nervous. (It turned out I had indeed been visited.) – Well, I didn't... because there are people working with them on Earth in this direction, but I don't. (I saw people being abducted and being researched.) But we know each other... Because there's still a planet there, it's only tiny. Someday it will be... like Earth... And they ask if I would ever want to live there? I don't, because I love Earth and the people here very much. I can help, create, but no, I don't want to live there.

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H: What do they look like?

Me: Yes... typical... like in the movies, hah! And I know... I know them quite well. Yes, typical... I laugh because I wonder why people are so afraid of them. I know, I know they don't look scary... I know, I know... (I touched his skin; it seemed more tense than on a human's body and with a lower temperature, but not cold. As for his personality, I would describe him as cold and stiff, but stable, even devoid of emotion. My emotional behavior, that's how I perceived it, aroused in him something like slight embarrassment, a bit like a child's inappropriate behavior.)

I was shown a planet resembling Earth, but it had significantly more tropical land than water. I saw various animals on it, but there was no "human" form. It was as if the planet were waiting to be settled, but I didn't know by whom. I didn't want to live there in physical form. Seeing this, I asked if they had visited our planet before. They then introduced me to the souls of Greys named Ezekiel and Enoch, explaining that these were his two previous incarnations. That was enough for me. I was also most interested in how to influence the masses of water at sea. I don't know where this idea came to me during the session. I saw how ships enter a given human lifeline and how they leave it at various points. I also saw how such a point can be defined by two coordinates: one in time, the other in space. They described to me that the structure of time is wave-like, not linear, and I had a few other questions.

I named this Gray who accompanied me in my life "Jumper," precisely because they jump across timelines so easily. They can enter one place and then another. That's why, from our perspective, they live for a very long time. From what I sensed, Jumper is a sort of commander overseeing that planet. But it's a section that deals with the psychological nature of humans. For example, I saw another section that's purely medical, dealing with tissue extraction, etc. Regarding the reason for my visit and the interest in my emotions (I've been quite emotional and sensitive my entire life), it was explained to me that a species that gradually evolves towards unity loses its individuality and emotionality. Emotions, however, possess a high energy charge, allowing us to create and, among other things, move along timelines (time waves). When we make the right choices in our lives (what we would call the law of attraction), we cause our own development, and that's why emotions are so essential to a given race's development. Whether they were interested in understanding how emotions feel for their own sake or for the creation of other races, I don't know. I do know that they are very good at combining matter and elements.

The whole encounter wasn't that interesting to me under hypnosis; it was relatively short, so I moved on immediately. After the session, I was only surprised by my rather technical questions, even though I don't have such interests. I'm more talented in the humanities than in science, and I can't add odd numbers. In high school, I was exempt from my math exam (I wrote history instead) because I completely couldn't understand the simplest problems. The encounter itself during the session calmed me down a bit. The worst thing is to be afraid of the unexplained. Now I knew who I was truly afraid of. However, I don't perceive them positively or negatively. Let's say I understand their desire to achieve their goal (the goal is the overarching plan there), but I disagree with the violation of free will. I omitted the spiritual aspects related to UFOs.