Mathematics would certainly have not come into existence if one had known from the beginning that there was in nature no exactly straight line, no actual circle, no absolute magnitude.

Honey Lavender Shortbread Sandwich Cakes with BerryCream

Ingredients

For the Honey Lavender Shortbread:

2 cups all-purpose flour

3/4 cup unsalted butter, softened

1/2 cup granulated sugar

2 tbsp honey

1 tbsp dried culinary lavender, finely crushed

1/2 tsp kosher salt

For the Berry Cream:

1 cup heavy cream, chilled

4 oz mascarpone cheese, softened

1/3 cup powdered sugar

1/4 cup raspberry or blackberry preserves

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

For the Honey Drizzle:

2 tbsp honey

1 tsp warm water

For Garnish (optional):

Fresh blueberries

Small sprigs of fresh lavender

Directions

Preheat oven to 325°F and line two baking sheets with

parchment paper.

Cream together softened butter, sugar, honey, and

crushed lavender until light and fluffy.

Gradually mix in the flour and salt until a stiff dough

forms.

Roll the dough out on a floured surface to 1/4-inch

thickness and cut into 2-inch circles using a scalloped

cutter.

Place circles on baking sheets and bake for 12 to 15

minutes until the edges are just barely golden. Let cool

completely on a wire rack.

In a chilled bowl, whip the heavy cream and powdered

sugar until stiff peaks form.

In a separate bowl, whisk the mascarpone, vanilla, and

berry preserves until smooth, then gently fold in the

whipped cream.

Transfer the berry cream to a piping bag fitted with a

large round tip.

Pipe a generous mound of cream onto the flat side of

half the shortbread cookies and top with the remaining

cookies to create sandwiches.

Whisk the honey and warm water together, drizzle over

the tops of the cakes, and press a fresh blueberry into the

center of each.

Blood Orange Cheesecake Bombs with Zesty Citrus LavaCenter

Ingredients

For the Blood Orange Cheesecake:

12 oz cream cheese, softened

1/2 cup granulated sugar

1/4 cup fresh blood orange juice

1 tsp vanilla extract

1/2 cup heavy cream, whipped to stiff peaks

1 1/2 tsp gelatin powder bloomed in 2 tbsp blood orange

juice

For the Citrus Lava Center:

1/3 cup fresh blood orange juice

1 tbsp lemon juice

1/4 cup granulated sugar

1 egg yolk

1 tbsp unsalted butter

For the Mirror Glaze:

3/4 cup granulated sugar

1/2 cup sweetened condensed milk

1/2 cup water

1 cup white chocolate chips

1 tbsp gelatin powder bloomed in 1/4 cup water

2 drops red food coloring

For Garnish (optional):

Blood orange zest

Candied citrus peel

Directions

Whisk juices, sugar, and egg yolk for the lava center in a

saucepan over medium heat until thickened; stir in butter

and freeze in mini hemisphere molds for 3 hours.

Beat cream cheese and sugar until smooth, then mix in

the blood orange juice and vanilla.

Melt the bloomed gelatin and stir it into the cream cheese

mixture before gently folding in the whipped cream.

Fill sphere molds halfway with cheesecake mousse,

press a frozen lava core into the center, and top with

more mousse.

Freeze the bombs for at least 6 hours until completely

solid.

Prepare the glaze by simmering sugar, water, and

condensed milk; remove from heat and stir in bloomed

gelatin, white chocolate, and food coloring.

Emulsify the glaze with an immersion blender and let

cool to 90°F.

Remove frozen bombs from molds and place them on a

wire cooling rack over a tray.

Pour the glaze over each bomb in a steady motion to

ensure full coverage.

Allow to set for 10 minutes in the refrigerator before

garnishing with fresh zest and serving.

Midnight Citrus Vanilla Dream Domes with Crystal Mirror

Ingredients

For the Vanilla Bean Mousse:

1 cup heavy cream, chilled

4 oz white chocolate, finely chopped

1/2 cup whole milk

1 vanilla bean, split and scraped

1 1/2 tsp gelatin powder

2 tbsp cold water

For the Citrus Curd Core:

1/2 cup fresh orange juice

1 tbsp lemon juice

1/3 cup granulated sugar

2 egg yolks

2 tbsp unsalted butter, cubed

For the Crystal Mirror Glaze:

3/4 cup granulated sugar

1/2 cup sweetened condensed milk

1/2 cup water

1 cup white chocolate chips

1 tbsp gelatin powder + 1/4 cup water

1 drop violet food coloring (optional)

For Garnish (optional):

Edible silver leaf

Clear sugar shards

Directions

Whisk orange juice, lemon juice, sugar, and egg yolks in a

small saucepan over medium heat until thickened; stir in

butter and freeze in mini hemisphere molds for 2 hours.

Bloom gelatin in 2 tablespoons of water.

Heat milk and vanilla seeds until simmering, then stir in

bloomed gelatin and pour over white chocolate; stir until

smooth and let cool to room temperature.

Fold whipped heavy cream into the white chocolate

mixture to create a light mousse.

Fill large hemisphere molds halfway with mousse, press

a frozen citrus core into the center, and cover with more

mousse; freeze for at least 6 hours.

Bloom the remaining gelatin in 1/4 cup water.

Simmer sugar, condensed milk, and 1/2 cup water;

remove from heat and stir in bloomed gelatin and white

chocolate chips until smooth.

Blend the glaze with a stick blender, adding coloring to

achieve a deep "midnight" hue, and let cool to 90°F.

Place frozen domes on a wire rack and pour the glaze

over them in a single, continuous motion.

Let the glaze set for 10 minutes before transferring to a

serving plate and garnishing with silver leaf.

Ruby Strawberry Coconut Cream Bombs with MirrorFinish

Ingredients

For the Coconut Cream Mousse:

1 cup coconut cream, chilled and whipped

6 oz cream cheese, softened

1/3 cup powdered sugar

1/2 tsp coconut extract

1 1/2 tsp gelatin powder bloomed in 2 tbsp cold water

For the Strawberry Core:

1/2 cup strawberry purée (fresh or frozen)

1 tbsp granulated sugar

1 tsp lemon juice

1/2 tsp gelatin powder bloomed in 1 tbsp water

For the Ruby Mirror Glaze:

3/4 cup granulated sugar

1/2 cup sweetened condensed milk

1/2 cup water

1 cup ruby chocolate chips (or white chocolate with pink

coloring)

1 tbsp gelatin powder bloomed in 1/4 cup water

For Garnish (optional):

2 fresh strawberries, finely diced

Toasted coconut flakes

Directions

Combine strawberry purée, sugar, and lemon juice in a

small saucepan over low heat until sugar dissolves; stir

in the small portion of bloomed gelatin.

Pour strawberry mixture into mini hemisphere molds and

freeze for 2 hours until solid.

Beat softened cream cheese and powdered sugar until

smooth, then stir in the coconut extract and melted larger

portion of bloomed gelatin.

Gently fold the whipped coconut cream into the cream

cheese mixture.

Fill large sphere molds halfway with coconut mousse,

press a frozen strawberry core into the center, and cover

with more mousse.

Freeze the bombs for at least 6 hours.

Prepare the glaze by simmering sugar, water, and

condensed milk; remove from heat and stir in the

remaining bloomed gelatin and ruby chocolate chips.

Use an immersion blender to smooth the glaze and let it

cool to 90°F.

Remove frozen bombs from molds, place on a wire rack,

and pour the ruby glaze over them until fully coated.

Let set in the refrigerator for 15 minutes before

garnishing with coconut flakes and diced strawberries.

Tropical Kiwi Coconut Tart Boats with Mango PearlTopping

Ingredients

For the Coconut Tart Shells:

1 1/2 cups graham cracker crumbs

1/2 cup shredded sweetened coconut

6 tbsp unsalted butter, melted

1 tbsp sugar

For the Kiwi Coconut Filling:

1 cup coconut cream, chilled

4 oz cream cheese, softened

1/3 cup powdered sugar

2 kiwis, peeled and finely diced

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

For the Mango Pearl Topping:

1 large ripe mango, peeled and finely cubed

1 tbsp honey

1 tsp lime juice

1 tbsp small tapioca pearls, cooked and drained

For Garnish (optional):

Fresh mint leaves

Toasted coconut flakes

Directions

Preheat oven to 350°F and grease 6 mini boat-shaped

tart molds or a standard muffin tin.

Mix graham cracker crumbs, shredded coconut, melted

butter, and sugar in a bowl until the texture resembles

wet sand.

Press the mixture firmly into the bottom and up the sides

of the molds to create a thick shell.

Bake the shells for 8 to 10 minutes until golden brown,

then let them cool completely before removing from the

molds.

In a medium bowl, beat the chilled coconut cream, cream

cheese, and powdered sugar until stiff peaks form.

Gently fold the diced kiwi and vanilla extract into the

coconut cream mixture.

Spoon or pipe the filling into the cooled tart shells,

smoothing the tops with a spoon.

In a separate small bowl, toss the mango cubes with

honey, lime juice, and cooked tapioca pearls.

Spoon the mango pearl mixture generously over the

center of each tart.

Chill the tarts for at least 1 hour in the refrigerator and

garnish with mint and toasted coconut before serving.

Orange Creamsicle Mousse Tart Waves with CitrusPearls

Ingredients

For the Shortbread Crust:

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 cup powdered sugar

3/4 cup cold unsalted butter, cubed

1/4 tsp salt

1 tsp orange zest

For the Orange Creamsicle Mousse:

1 cup heavy cream, chilled

4 oz cream cheese, softened

1/2 cup granulated sugar

1/4 cup fresh orange juice

1 tsp vanilla extract

1 tsp gelatin powder

1 tbsp cold water

For the Citrus Pearls:

1/2 cup orange juice, strained

1/4 tsp agar agar powder

1 cup neutral vegetable oil, chilled in freezer for 30

minutes

For Garnish:

1 tbsp fresh mint leaves, tiny

1/2 tsp orange zest, fine

Directions

Pulse flour, powdered sugar, salt, and orange zest in a

food processor. Add cold butter and pulse until a dough

forms. Press into a rectangular tart pan and bake at

350°F for 18 minutes until golden. Cool completely.

Bloom gelatin in cold water for 5 minutes. Microwave for

10 seconds until liquid.

Beat cream cheese, sugar, orange juice, and vanilla until

smooth. Stir in the liquid gelatin.

Whip heavy cream to stiff peaks and gently fold into the

orange mixture.

Transfer mousse to a piping bag fitted with a Saint-

Honore or petal tip. Pipe continuous "wave" motions

across the cooled tart shell. Chill for 4 hours.

For the pearls, simmer orange juice and agar agar for 1

minute. Using a dropper, drip the hot liquid into the ice-

cold oil.

Collect the pearls with a slotted spoon, rinse gently in

cold water, and drain.

Scatter citrus pearls over the mousse waves and garnish

with mint and extra zes

Diamond Mango Coconut Mirror Bombs with CrystalGlaze

Ingredients

For the Coconut Mousse:

1 cup coconut cream (chilled, solid part only)

4 oz white chocolate, melted

1/4 cup powdered sugar

1 tsp coconut extract

3 sheets gelatin, bloomed in cold water

For the Mango Lava Center:

1 cup fresh mango puree

1 tbsp lime juice

1 tbsp granulated sugar

2 sheets gelatin, bloomed

For the Crystal Mirror Glaze:

1 1/2 cups white chocolate chips

1/2 cup sweetened condensed milk

1/2 cup granulated sugar

1/4 cup water

4 sheets gelatin, bloomed

1 tsp clear iridescent luster dust

For Garnish:

1 tsp toasted shredded coconut

1 small slice of fresh mango

Directions

Heat mango puree, lime juice, and sugar until simmering;

stir in 2 sheets of bloomed gelatin, pour into mini-sphere

molds, and freeze until solid.

Whisk the chilled coconut cream and powdered sugar

until thick and fluffy.

Stir the melted white chocolate, coconut extract, and 3

sheets of melted bloomed gelatin together, then gently

fold into the coconut cream.

Fill diamond-faceted silicone molds halfway with

coconut mousse, press the frozen mango center into the

middle, and cover with the remaining mousse.

Freeze the molds for at least 8 hours until completely

firm.

To make the glaze, boil water, sugar, and condensed milk

; remove from heat and whisk in 4 sheets of bloomed

gelatin and white chocolate chips until smooth.

Add the iridescent luster dust and blend with an

immersion blender, then let cool to 90°F.

Unmold the frozen diamond bombs and place them on a

wire rack.

Pour the crystal glaze over each bomb until fully coated

and glossy.

Garnish with a sprinkle of toasted coconut and a mango

slice before the glaze fully sets.

Crystal Pineapple Coconut Cheesecake Bombs withTropical Core

Ingredients

For the Coconut Cheesecake:

8 oz cream cheese, softened

1/4 cup cream of coconut

1/3 cup powdered sugar

1/2 cup heavy cream, whipped to soft peaks

3 sheets gelatin, bloomed in cold water

For the Tropical Core:

1/2 cup fresh pineapple, finely diced

1/4 cup mango puree

1 tbsp lime juice

2 sheets gelatin, bloomed

For the Crystal Glass Glaze:

1 1/2 cups white chocolate chips

1/2 cup sweetened condensed milk

1/2 cup granulated sugar

1/4 cup water

4 sheets gelatin, bloomed

1 tsp clear iridescent luster dust

For Garnish:

1 tbsp toasted shredded coconut

1 small wedge of fresh pineapple

Directions

Simmer the diced pineapple, mango puree, and lime juice

in a small saucepan for 5 minutes; stir in 2 sheets of

bloomed gelatin and freeze in mini-sphere molds until

solid.

Beat the cream cheese, cream of coconut, and powdered

sugar until smooth and creamy.

Melt the 3 sheets of bloomed gelatin and whisk into the

cheesecake mixture, then gently fold in the whipped

cream.

Fill large semi-sphere silicone molds halfway with the

coconut cheesecake mixture.

Press a frozen tropical core into the center of each mold

and cover with the remaining cheesecake.

Freeze the molds for at least 8 hours until completely

firm.

Bring water, sugar, and condensed milk to a boil; remove

from heat and whisk in the 4 sheets of bloomed gelatin

and white chocolate chips until smooth.

Stir in the iridescent luster dust and allow the glaze to

cool to 90°F.

Unmold the frozen bombs and place them on a wire rack.

Pour the crystal glaze over each bomb, letting it coat the

sides completely.

Garnish with toasted coconut and a pineapple wedge

before serving.

Roast Chicken Veggie Power Plate 🌽✨This easy healthy dinner is colorful, hearty, and packedwith comfort food goodness

!

📝 Ingredients :

2 chicken thighs, skin-on

1 lb baby potatoes

1 cup broccoli florets

4 carrots, peeled

1 cup sweet corn

3 eggs

2 tbsp olive oil

2 garlic cloves, minced

1 tsp paprika

1 tsp Italian seasoning

Salt and black pepper to taste

Optional: honey glaze for chicken

🍽️ ** How to Make It :**

1️⃣ Season the Chicken:

Rub chicken thighs with olive oil, garlic, paprika, Italian

seasoning, salt, and pepper for the perfect juicy roast

chicken, easy comfort dinner, and high-protein meal

flavor.

2️⃣ Roast the Potatoes & Veggies:

Toss baby potatoes, carrots, and broccoli with olive oil

and seasoning, then roast until golden and tender for the

ultimate healthy roasted veggies, easy sheet pan dinner,

and meal prep favorite combo.

3️⃣ Cook the Eggs:

Soft boil eggs until creamy and perfectly jammy, creating

the ideal protein-packed side, healthy dinner addition,

and balanced comfort plate vibe.

4️⃣ Glaze the Chicken:

Brush chicken with optional honey glaze while roasting

for that irresistible sticky roasted chicken, restaurant-

style dinner, and crispy chicken skin finish.

5️⃣ Plate & Serve:

Arrange roasted chicken beside potatoes, broccoli,

carrots, sweet corn, and eggs for the final healthy

homemade comfort food, easy family dinner, and foodie

favorite plate presentation.

Soul Eater

I woke up in the middle of the night for no apparent reason. It was a bit strange, I'd never done anything like this before. I didn't think twice about it, though. I reached under the bed, pulled out my bag, grabbed my leather jacket from the chair next to it, put on my combat boots, and from the bag pulled out my treasure – a plasma pistol I'd bought before Judgment Day. I'd saved up for a long time before finally buying it. The next day, the world technically ceased to exist. I put the gun in my jacket's inner pocket.

Time to get ready.

I left the room, glanced at the clock in the dark hallway. 3:33, best not to wake anyone. I took the opportunity and climbed out through the hole in the wall. Why should I pay? For this... hotel... I emerged into the empty street. Some debris, carried by the wind, flew past me. I didn't notice what it was, probably nothing interesting. I headed towards the city center, I need to get a ride...

The streets were empty, people were afraid to go out at night, probably because of the rumors about aliens. They hide in the sewers during the day, and at night they go out hunting. I took out my gun, better not to take any chances.

In front of one of the buildings, I saw a transporter belonging to the Cleaners – the cleaners, good for their money... assassins supported by the authorities, probably taking someone to one of those camps where... what exactly? No one knows what's going on there. Next to the transporter stood two thugs armed with M16s, let's not be afraid to call them by their names. I hid in the darkness across the street.

I saw them leading the family away: children crying, a man hugging a woman who could barely walk, two thugs following them kicking them away. Why can't I do anything?

Too many of them, if there were only two, but not four... not four... One of the children started running, a girl, running towards me. I saw the terror on her face. The soldier raised his rifle... run, run faster, I thought, but she was running too slowly. The bullets tore through her body, a terrible sight. She fell to the ground, dead. Her mother fainted. What I did was stupid, but I didn't think about it at the time.

I quickly aimed my gun, I knew I would hit, I'd always been good at it. It literally dissolved, but that was how this weapon worked. I quickly aimed at the one next to me, facing me, and before he could raise his rifle, he too became a puddle of goo, flowing down the stairs. The other two stood still, as if they had turned to stone.

One dropped his gun and started running. Now the girl's father acted, grabbing the rifle, and despite a long burst, only managed to wound him in the leg, but that was enough. The soldier fell to the ground. I didn't care anymore, this guy would take care of him. During this incident, the last thug managed to regain his composure and turned towards me, but he didn't see me. Despite its aesthetic appeal, the black suit also has other advantages. I heard shots, and the man finished off the wounded man...

I looked at the soldier, he was terrified, and then I understood everything. They weren't murderers. If they hadn't killed themselves, someone would have killed them and their families. His fear split my skull. It was a powerful force. Sometimes I wonder if what I am is a reward or a punishment... In that moment, it was a punishment... He fell to his knees, whispered, "Please, don't..." and even though I was standing quite a distance away, I heard him clearly, heard his thoughts...

I've never understood people, they're strange creatures, but I felt sorry for him. The girl's father didn't understand this. He ran up to him, aimed, and shot... no, he didn't shoot, he ran out of ammunition... he dropped his rifle and started kicking the soldier. And me? I did nothing, I let him kill him, even though I could clearly hear his desperate plea for help. I hid in the darkness again, left them, walked away... We shouldn't interfere in people's affairs, but I had already done that, so I could see it through to the end...

I walked through the dark streets, passed a tenement building, and again someone called for help... screams, a gunshot, silence... I don't understand this world. They were punished, and they're still the same.

My thoughts were interrupted by some bum who suddenly lunged at me. I threw him to the ground, grabbed him, and bit into his neck. He wasn't tasty, but at least I'd satisfied my hunger and suppressed my human feelings. I was myself again, myself... so who was that? I reached the city center, the sun was already starting to appear over the buildings. I closed my eyes for a moment, touched the amulet around my neck. Some things never change, ancient magic still works, I no longer have to fear the sun...

I waited for the bus to arrive. It arrived, an automated vehicle. Strange, technology almost killed them, and they trust it again... I got in. The only improvement I noticed was the lack of a toll collection machine. At least that's what they've learned. The pursuit of wealth will be their downfall. It's a shame they learn so slowly. There was someone else in the vehicle, a sleeping old man. I sat down at the entrance, far from him. Old, withered, memories-filled feelings can be harmful. Only now did I begin to wonder where I was going, straight ahead, as usual... maybe someday I'd find out why we were here... but from whom? I'd fallen asleep.

Good upbringing

"We bribed the judge to declare you the winner. We paid your opponent

to lose to you. The rest is up to you."

Marx Brothers, "Pensees, reliques et anecdotes"

My parents were very indecisive about my upbringing. Right after I was born, they insisted I be a priest, so my father used to read the breviary to me instead of fairy tales, and my mother dressed me in a tiny black cassock and stole instead of diapers. But little got through to me back then—I mostly cried, and besides, after about a year, my parents converted.

When I turned two, my father, fascinated by Westerns, decided I would make a great cowboy. From then on, instead of soft slippers, I wore miniature boots with spurs, a sheriff's star stuck into my bib, which I constantly cut myself with, and a felt hat adorned my head, which rubbed the back of my head dry and left it bald to this day.

The Western craze soon faded, but a fascination with black music followed, and my parents decided they would raise me to be a bluesman. And not just any bluesman, but a very specific one – Ray Charles. From then on, I was smeared with black shoe polish every morning, spent hours practicing rhythm and blues on the piano, and walked to kindergarten wearing dark glasses with a very distinctive gait. Thank God, my parents didn't even think of blinding me.

I went to school dressed in a policeman's uniform. In second grade, they dressed me like a truck driver. In the years that followed, I was raised, successively, to be: a mad inventor, an eccentric painter, an astronaut, a doctor, an actor named John Wayne, and a hockey player, also Wayne, but named Gretzky.

When, in my junior year of high school, my parents decided to raise me to be the Antichrist, I thought something was wrong with them and ran away. I didn't get far, however—my younger brother was being raised to be a bloodhound. Over the next few years of my education, I was raised to be, among other things, a mail carrier, a president, a train driver, a prima ballerina, a jeweler, John Paul II, and Kermit the Frog—despite the fact that my high school was a trade school and I was studying architecture.

One day, my parents had a serious talk with me.

"Despite our best efforts, we haven't managed to raise you to be anything worthwhile," they said. And they added,

"It's time for you to go your separate ways. We only hope you won't disappoint us."

I became a ticket inspector for public transport because I somehow felt it was my calling. My father hanged himself first. Later, my mother jumped out a window. My younger brother, who was considered a melancholic at the time, also committed suicide.

Night... another night

A train passes. Far, far away. The air is almost crystal clear, and that's why its voice carries for miles. It's probably an express train... or maybe an express. More like an express...

When was the last time I rode a train? I don't remember, it was so long ago. Besides, it wasn't that long ago in my life. I was going to a sanatorium. But that was back then, back when I was still able to move around relatively freely. Now I hardly manage to go beyond my own backyard, let alone on a long journey. It's a shame, those were wonderful weeks. And now, in return for those journeys, I've gained something else. God, so much time has passed. Time... what is it anyway? I used to wonder about it, but it always seemed to me that contemplation isn't my calling. Time compared to God's omnipotence... what is it? If God is omnipotent, then time is no obstacle to Him. But what if there were no time again? They say God is omnipotent and, what's more, infinitely wise. If God is truly like this... which is highly probable, by the way... then time is irrelevant. Because if I were wise, very wise, I would become a politician. If I were able to predict the effects of my actions by even a five percent accuracy, I would be an oracle for this entire crowd. After all, if people were able to predict even a fraction of what would happen to them as a result of their simplest decisions... where would they be now? Therefore, if I were infinitely wise, I would be able to predict all the effects, of all actions, both mine and those of each individual. If I were omnipotent, I would direct all matters so that they would end as best as possible. In this way, time has no significance for God, and yet, beyond that, God is eternal...

Therefore, time does not exist, and we humans are eternal. Because what does it matter whether it's a second, a month, a year, a hundred or a million years, if there is no time?

Sigh. I'm consumed with nonsense. Think about what touches life, not what denies it. Karol, what has your life been like? Are you aware of it? Do you realize you've lived for almost a hundred years? What have you done in the ninety years since you were born?

You were born in almost the same place where you would die. You hadn't seen much of your life. Hard work was the essence of your existence. You had little time for other things. First, you worked for your parents to have something to eat. Those were hard times, when they counted every egg you ate, every cup of milk. How terrible it was then, when Soviet tanks passed nearby, when Ukrainians approached your house. Then communism and industrialization. Your first factory job, your wife, your first children. The grind continued. Children had to be clothed, sent to school, and saved for an apartment. Once again, you weren't working for yourself; you were working for an ideal, for a better tomorrow. You fought so that your children would have a better life than you had. How painful it was to hear from their lips that we were poor. How painful it was for you when your son's friends called you a village boor. Again, there were difficult days ahead. Your son went to college and suddenly started thinking you were a fool, as if you didn't know what the world was. But you knew it well; you're neither a boor nor a fool. You survived it and lived better than he did with his rotten knowledge. Schools don't teach what the world stands on. And the world stands on faith.

Do you know anything certain on this earth? Only that you exist and that you're aware of it. The rest is mere conjecture. There is only faith, more or less certain, but it's only faith. Or perhaps even faith. The first, fundamental one is faith in the existence of God. Without him, there is no second-order faith: faith in the existence of the world. Great, beautiful, multifaceted, incomprehensible, like God himself. Then there is faith in the existence of oneself in this world. And yet you found yourself in this world from somewhere, so you must believe in other people. Everything that surrounds them, everything that man has created, must also exist, and in this we must believe it exists. The rest is nuance. And these nuances are what man deals with. Sometimes he is uncritical; sometimes, God forgive him, proud; Sometimes only stupid, or worse, indifferent. And you, on the other hand, are probably neither of them anymore. Although the sin of pride still manifests itself. You are still proud. You once thought you were wise because you were young and knew what you were doing and for whom, then you compared yourself to your son, and now you think you are wise because you are old, yet you are still nothing in the sight of God. But what have you done to deserve such a high opinion?

I have lived my life consciously.

I know I was born for a reason. I was born to give back to God what I received. It's like a loan; you receive the body for the soul. You have to return the body, but the soul remains with you. And it can be either a treasure or an unpaid debt. What is mine? I will soon find out.

Old man! Give back what is not yours! I can already hear the voice of death.

God, I have sinned. You know what I have done in life. You know it wasn't always beautiful, and it certainly wasn't holy. After all, I killed, raped, and robbed. I drank, and I beat more than one of my brothers. You, God, know this, and you know that I regret my actions. I have been pulled out of the rut of life by Your help more than once. But God, it was so long ago... so long ago that I almost don't remember it all. For what is sin? God, You gave us free will, but nothing can hide from Your wisdom. Our will is, after all, inscribed in Your plans. So what kind of will do we have? How, God, is it possible that the chaos that is the human mind is inscribed in Your plans? How is it that chaos is an element of destiny? God, at what point does our will still exist, and when does it no longer exist? Can nothing surprise You? But do we, as humans, have this power? How great would we be if we could outwit the One and Only God Himself! So, God, how is this? I don't believe in human power, therefore... I don't believe in freedom. If You are God, then there is no freedom!

God, I have sinned! Freedom exists, since You have given us a sliver of it. Freedom can exist, after all. However, You have not entrusted it entirely to our reason. We can only rationally decide on a small part of our freedom. The rest is governed by chaos, our inner chaos.

God, after all, our chaos is Your creation; You created us this way. Thank You, God, for not giving us complete freedom. After all, if we were completely free and could fully decide for ourselves, we would destroy this world, and if You were not with us, everything would have collapsed in my lifetime. And yet we are, and we live.

Man is essentially good, because he was created in Your image, but good people, even wise and strong, refuse to use either wisdom or strength. When evil takes hold of man, even if he is foolish and weak, he will extract wisdom from his foolishness and use it, forcing his weakness only to commit evil. Is this why you created man, so that by remaining good, being wise and strong, he might become powerful, so that he might act for good? That's probably how it is. Therefore, our life consists in acting to do good. Therefore, God, my life has been wasted.

God, I have sinned. I have sinned by omission. God, forgive me!

How terrifying is the prospect of action. How hard it is to even consider that we are called to wisdom, strength, and goodness, possessing only a sliver of freedom, an unskilled mind, and a frail body. How I sin by being aware of this, yet lying in this bed, exhausted, thinking only of falling asleep.

But we're not wicked. After all, we are Your children. How did You solve this problem? My first thought is that You somehow divided us and called us to different missions. Each of us received the plot of land You had planned for us to cultivate. God, did I find the right one? Did I fulfill my tasks well? What portion was I given, and did I bring in the harvest I should have? I don't know, but I managed to fulfill my mission. Was I an unfaithful servant? Perhaps that's why You kept me on this earth for so long, so that I would have more time to learn and correct old mistakes. I understand, but I won't be able to fulfill my obligations. All that remains is for me to apologize and beg for forgiveness.

But God, I thank You for the gift of life. God, I thank You that I could live so long. I may not have seen the world, but I have seen so much. Life held no secrets for me. Having lived so many years, I know what work, suffering, hunger, and poverty are, but I also know what friendship, love, joy, happiness are. I have experienced rest and compassion. I was cared for and cared for. Someone will weep at my grave. God, I did not waste my life. You gave me this body and I used it well. I enriched my soul, perhaps not much and not very noble, but it still met my expectations admirably. My needs are so modest. After all, I only had so few, and at the same time, such imperfect, tools. Today I am happy. Yes, now I know what happiness means. It is a feeling of fulfillment. I know what I was capable of, I know what I lost, but I leave that behind, because if I failed to do it, it means I couldn't do it... after all, I wasn't as smart then as I am today. Therefore, happiness is the realization that I finally did what I could. After all, I didn't mean to do wrong, quite the opposite. My intentions were not evil. And following that intention, I did as much good as I could. Therefore, I can be thankful for my life. Because I did it for the best, though only today did I learn that this wasn't the way to go.

What a strange night. I feel strange. I think I've already said what I had to say, but somehow, maybe differently... somehow so tired. It's late.

Of course, the express... to Krakow... that's how Ania gets home now.

Yes, it's very late, very late...

So I'll know the answers to all my questions today. So I'll meet Him today.

We must learn to die throughout our entire lives."

"

A ball of air rose to the surface. Water was about to pour from the bathtub—the only confined space suffocating me, trying to bring me relief. The first drop spilled from the chalice of my salvation, but was it also joy? The last breath was about to escape my soul when a thorn of doubt pierced my heart painfully. Dreams, memories, desires froze. With the last remnant of strength, I rose. It made no sense. In an eternal second, in a cosmos of nonexistence, the water began to turn warm. As if red flowers had sprouted, revealing the beauty and sublimity of the moment. Who would have thought… Exploring the organs from within with a blade, embellishing the bouquets around it, the remnant of consciousness guided the hand. My soul had already begun to ponder the pain of its form. Whimpering, it moved away from the mundane human structure. That which gives oxygen now takes it away. Greedy time claims the last moments of darkened moments for itself. Unconscious, in reality, I was only sleeping, slowly waking up in a different place. Disoriented, I lost track of time. Every fiber in my body began to rage mercilessly, then my body calmed painfully, beginning to move in the opposite direction. The darkness faded, the light radiated. There was no turning back. The biological scream of my cells, the determined protest of my mind, would no longer reverse what had happened. Like a stake, the last beat of my heart pierced my chest. I only stared with my nonexistent eyes at what was being shown to me. With a playful gesture, I stopped the last spark living within me. Why pave the way for passage with an even fainter hope than the prospect of my happiness? What remained of me no longer captivated with its beauty. A pale face, fear, blood, death, and more suffering shrouded in the helplessness of the heart; buttressed by the innocent plea of ​​touching hope. Another victim of the immutability of the actions taken, the inspired creators of murderous experiences. There's nothing left around me. Counted among the slave souls, nonexistent. Amidst the damning suffering, one can find the hole left by my burned-out heart... A desired candidate—recruited. Tota vita discendum est mori—I have finally learned.

Where the Sun's Light Doesn't Reach... - Part 3

She lay on a perpetually white bed and stared into a small mirror. A crowd of people walked across the cemetery ground. In front were two coffins, two black coffins merging with black clothes. But the white snow and the delicate touches of sunlight didn't sit well with her. Not on the day of her parents' funeral, no, the sun had no right to joyfully warm the mysterious globe. It should be dark, it should be raining. She flung the mirror into the corner of the room, and blood gushed from her eyes again.

"Why?" she whispered, looking up as if expecting to see the old, kind, and blissfully secure face she'd so often seen in her imagination, to which she'd so loudly called for help when she was still alive... when she'd lost her bet.

"Nadine, the master is calling you," whispered the boy, if she could even call him that. She stood up and, dragging her dress along the floor, left the room. But she stopped and looked into his eyes.

"What...what's your name?

" "Darius." He grabbed her hand and led her, helping to destroy her self-hatred. When she entered that beautiful room again, she didn't look back. She didn't even raise her eyes, squeezing them shut at the sound of his chuckle. That awful man was laughing. He was simply laughing at how she suffered, how she crawled through the mud before herself, towards the path to hope.

"You did it. You're so sweet with those wings." He laughed so cruelly that she wanted to punch him, so that at least that hard shell of his would feel something. So that he couldn't speak anymore, let alone laugh. Unfortunately, that was impossible; simply talking back to him was beyond her capabilities. "But you have another task. This time, you'll kill your friends, one by one...

" "But...

" "Shhh..." he interrupted. "If you want to stay, you'll do it if you don't face eternal damnation." Nadine, I'm giving you a whole human day to think about it. She couldn't, she simply couldn't, she wanted to scream, but Darius squeezed her hand just in time and led her back to the chamber. She was writhing in pain, no, no one had hit her, it was coming from within, from her soul, from her own space. She sat at the corner of the bed, and Darius held her hand and whispered for her not to cry.

"Why? Why should I deprive them of this, even pathetic, important existence, huh? Mariah, Joel, and all the rest, why?! Why can't I hurt those I don't know?!

"That's the whole point..." He looked at her with cold eyes, like two ice crystals, yet she felt the warmth radiating from them. She let go of his hands and clasped them on her chest.

"Why are you helping me?

" "Because... I like you, and the Lord wants to deprive you of every last vestige of humanity by murdering your loved ones." Because you see, if…" A terrifying roar rang out, and the ground shook, though no more than the girl's heart. She opened her eyes.

"What if? What if?! Darius!" she screamed, thrashing around the room. The boy disappeared, dissolved. "Shit!" She slammed her clenched fist into the rough wall. Surprisingly, it didn't hurt, so she did it again. She slid down the wall and wrapped her arms around her knees. She was fed up with this whole other world, this "better world." She squelched the hope that this was just a bad dream teaching the value of life, that it had been created by a force protecting her from just such a world. She stared blankly at a single spot. Like a thirsty woman, she needed rescue. In life, she had wanted freedom, yet she had fallen from the rain into the gutter.

"How can you be such an idiot and abandon yourself to blind fate?!" Silence answered her, a silence she so desperately didn't want here at that moment. She clenched her fists, looked up, and whispered, "Get me out of here." There was no reaction, and the silence didn't match the sequence of events she had imagined in her mind. She imagined someone from above who would suddenly appear and show mercy. She buried her face in her hands, squeezing her eyes shut so no drop of blood would spill onto her cheeks. Whether seconds or hours passed, she didn't know. She didn't even know if time existed here. She heard quiet whispers interspersed with a sinister chuckle. Something told her to get up and go to the master's room. She did.

"You're a fast learner, my dear." She didn't look at him; it hurt too much. "Have you decided?

" "Y...yes." Even her speech was difficult. The words seemed to deliberately instill fear in her. As if she felt even greater respect for this disgusting beast.

"So? What's your answer?

" "Yes," she said through her teeth. "I'll kill them.

I don't feel;

I don't think;

I don't breathe;

I'm escaping the cursed silence;

I scream to drown out my thoughts;

Are you laughing?"

Spit in my face, and I will understand;

Do you despise me?

Strike hard, and I will remember;

If you will stand by me;

If you will not let me down;

If you will join hands and lead me to happiness;

Save me...

Good night...

I'm sitting in a smoky, stuffy pub in the basement of one of the city's most important buildings. Despite the late hour, or perhaps because of it, the place is packed. Music completely out of place in the stark interior pours from hidden speakers. I fiddle with a black straw half-dipped in a golden-brown, frothy drink and observe the people sitting at other tables.

There's a young lady in pink and blue, wearing brand-new mukluks, pressed against the side of an elderly gentleman carrying on a rather loud conversation with the man sitting opposite him. "Daddy or..." The girl looks up, meets my eyes defiantly for a moment; but I also see pure desperation and utter sadness in her gaze. Ah, the situation is becoming clear.

I lazily drag on my cigarette and turn my head away from the young lady and her older companions. At the next table sits a group of young people: three girls and four boys. They're all thirteen, maybe fourteen, which doesn't stop them from drinking their sixth beer in a row. One of the boys hugs the girl closest to him and plants a rather passionate kiss on her lips, licking half the wallpaper off her face in the process. Disgusting. The girl laughs, and her friends joke that they wish the same. The boy, being a true gentleman, complies, and everyone is happy.

Disgusted, I finish my cigarette and crush it in the glass ashtray. I look up and meet the dark gaze of a guy sitting across the room. Noticing me looking at him, he raises his eyebrows and nods slightly at the other teenagers. I smile wickedly. I won't lie, he's handsome. Nevertheless, I lower my gaze, pull a pack of cigarettes from my pocket, and light another. After a moment, I forget about the guy, because another interesting object of observation enters the room: my friend with his girlfriend. He nods in greeting, and they both sit down at a table by the window. They look into each other's eyes, smiling at each other's thoughts... I'm almost certain they're thinking the same thing. I smile completely unconsciously, and at that moment I notice that the man with the dark eyes has disappeared. Strange, because I didn't see him leave... I shrug slightly, remove the straw from my glass, and dip my lips into the last of the beer, which is flickering in the light of the stylish lanterns. At the same moment, I hear a quiet whisper right next to my ear:

"Didn't anyone tell you that beer and cigarettes aren't a healthy combination?"

I calmly put down the glass, take a drag on my cigarette, and blow the smoke directly into the face of the man standing behind me. Gray smoke briefly obscures his dark gaze.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you it's rude to sneak up on people from behind?" I ask, without a trace of reproach in my voice. A smile tugs at the corners of his mouth.

We leave the pub together. The moon shines with a bright, milky light.

"Are you cold?" he asks, looking at me sideways.

"No," I reply, gazing at the twinkling stars above our heads.

He suddenly grabs my hand; I tear my gaze away from the sky and look at him in surprise.

"You're not cold, and your hand feels like ice," he laughs, simultaneously embracing me and pulling me closer.

"What..." I begin, but I can't finish...

I enter the house, and my sleepy mother emerges from the room.

"Where have you been?

" "Out on the town. Goodnight," I reply with a laugh.

"You've been drinking." My mother gives me a disapproving look.

"Goodnight," I repeat, then lock myself in my room.

A moment later, I see the same word on my phone's screen. "Goodnight..."

A withering flower

What can you say about a girl who so suddenly ruined her life? That she had once been able to laugh so joyfully? That she loved coconut cake and vanilla ice cream? That she loved poetry as much as her boyfriend? Except that her love for him had led to an even stronger feeling for something else...

It was dark, a late winter afternoon, one of those you most enjoy spending at home under a blanket with a cup of hot cocoa. It all started with that cold, snowy evening...

She sat wrapped in a blanket, clutching what had once been a tissue in her hand, tears slowly rolling down her round face. She struggled to hold the phone and with even greater difficulty pronounced single words.

"I can't be with you. Someone once said that we should help the weak." Those words, spoken a moment ago, inflicted an incomparable pain. She felt herself shrinking, all the energy she had within her draining away along with any will to live. She knew it was cheap talk; he wanted to leave with class, but did it help? He thought she could buy it! He wanted to leave her because he'd finally gotten what he'd dreamed of for almost six months—the love of another girl. She let him go because what else was she supposed to do? She just wanted to save face, even though she cried and it hurt so much. She told him that if this was what he wanted, she would understand and wish him the best. She played games, lied like she'd never done before in her life, perhaps because she didn't want to burn any bridges? Deep down, she believed he would come back, even though she wanted to hate him with all her heart.

The moment she threw the phone across the room, she appeared. She stood opposite the armchair, her thin, pale face twisted as if in a smile. Her hair was thinning, a dull color; it was scary to look at her, but there was something about her that was so compelling... "

Hello." "She whispered almost inaudibly in her hoarse voice.

"Who are you?"

"I've come to help you. With me, you won't be so lonely anymore, I promise you that."

She stepped closer and placed her bony fingers on the shoulders of the young, healthy girl.

Days of pain and suffering began. How many tears had she shed? How many nights had she lost sleep? Many, many... too many wounds at once, too much time to think.

A new friend came to the rescue; she knew how to use this suffering and her tightening stomach.

It didn't take long for weight loss to become her obsession, a remedy for her wounded heart. Another kilogram less brought her so much joy. All she could think about was how wonderful it would be to fit into a blouse a size smaller, when her buttocks were no longer so round.

The third day without food, the fourth... a week-long cleansing fast. She said she would lose some weight, and it disappeared so quickly... no food, just mineral water. Later, when she looked back on those terrible moments, she said that during that terrible period, she had fed on the pain she carried in her heart.

It was obvious that completely cutting out food for an extended period wouldn't do any good...

It was evening, or a late winter afternoon, when she felt truly ill, her heart pounding in her chest like crazy, and the world around her was spinning as if she were on a speeding carousel.

"You're getting more and more beautiful, my dear friend, getting thinner and thinner. Thanks to me, you got through this difficult period." Bony arms wrapped around her waist, a familiar, weak, hoarse voice whispering in her ear.

"Go away!" A silent cry...

She rose from the armchair and slowly moved to the kitchen. Standing by the refrigerator, her legs as soft as cotton wool, she fought one of the hardest battles of her life. She stared at the ham, cucumbers, and other foods that had recently become her enemy, the calories she tried to escape.

This time, she couldn't control herself; she reached out a frail hand for a tomato and a small roll, and ate, crying like a small, helpless child.

"Stupid! If you must eat, then something that's not so caloric! Are you craving a roll?! " A familiar, hoarse voice made her feel even worse.

Despite her inner contradictions, she realized she couldn't live without food; she wanted to be slim, but she definitely didn't want to die. She decided to eat one meal a day, dinner. The rapid weight loss stopped, or perhaps it should be said, it simply slowed down. Calorie counting began; she knew the energy value and fat content of every little thing she put in her mouth. How much did she eat per day? No more than five hundred calories was a high bar, one she rarely reached. Rice with yogurt, rice with apples, a bit of cooked meat, sometimes fat-free yogurt, a carrot or an apple.

"Maybe I went a bit overboard when I forbade you from eating, you're right, honey," she told her protégé. "If you have to eat, you also have to exercise, burn off what might be unnecessary."

And the obsessive exercises began, thousands of crunches, squats, and bends.

What did she see when she looked in the mirror? One day a slim girl who now wore a blouse three sizes smaller, and the next day a plump woman with a huge butt and a round face. What was the truth? A emaciated, bony figure with skin as white as snow, almost transparent, her eyes expressionless, staring at something unattainable...

But the human body has a way of rebelling, of demanding what it needs, and hers needed a lot...

When she began to leave more and more of her hair on her brush, her body made a last-ditch attempt to absorb as many calories as possible... she began to eat, unable to control herself, devouring everything within reach, then running to the bathroom and regurgitating it. At first, all she had to do was touch her finger to her throat and puke. The later it got, the harder it became to induce a gag reflex; she'd shove almost her entire hand in, cutting it at the knuckles. It was a nightmare; her face was parched to the bone; even a thick layer of cream wouldn't help.

What did she feel then? She hated herself for all of it, and in fact, she still does, because she can't help herself in any way. She wants to fight, even though she knows full well she's already lost. Her friend, whom she called Ana, won't let her out of her "protective" embrace. How long can her overloaded heart endure? One thing is certain: coconut cake will never taste the same again...

,,,,

...

A shaken girl ran out of the old tenement building. She turned right and ran. She reached the bus stop and boarded the first bus that passed. She sat down in the seat next to an elderly woman. The woman looked at her as if she were a fugitive.

"What is she looking at?" the girl wondered to herself. "Yeah, I probably look like some whore with my hair all messed up and my blouse torn." She looked at her reflection in the window. She absentmindedly smoothed her hair and shifted in her seat. She wasn't really going anywhere. She just wanted to get off at the last stop and sit there. The bus reached the Tenement House. The girl got off. She headed towards the nearby forest. She already had a plan for getting home. As long as possible. After half an hour, she emerged from the forest. She could have taken a bus that would have taken her almost to her house, but she didn't. She decided to walk a little longer. The weather was nice. The sun was shining and a cool, refreshing breeze was blowing. Suddenly, she felt dizzy. She sat down on the curb. Small bright spots swarmed before her eyes. She felt faint. She woke up being shaken on the shoulder. A woman A woman around fifty crouched next to her and asked what had happened. Kamila didn't answer her for a long time, as she couldn't bear to be in this situation. She didn't know why she was lying on the sidewalk, with a woman sitting next to her.

"Little girl? Little girl? What happened?" the woman asked, nudging her every now and then, probably to be absolutely sure that Ania wouldn't faint again.

"I'm okay." The girl tried to stand up, but the woman took her hand and pulled her up. "

Where do you live?" she asked.

"It's here... not far... I'll go now... thank you," she replied, and walked away. Her head hurt and her throat was dry. The woman reached her and took her arm.

"I'll walk you home. It's on my way anyway, and I'd like to make sure you arrived safely."

After fifteen minutes of slow walking, they reached the house. Ania turned the doorknob and entered.

"May I have some tea?" she asked.

"Oh, no, my child, I'll be off now because my grandchildren are waiting for me at home," the woman apologized. "

Fine. Thank you again for your help. Goodbye."

"Goodbye, my dear," the woman replied, and left. Ania saw that they were heading back the way they had both come.

"There are still good people in this world after all," the girl thought, and sat down on the shoe rack. A moment later, her mother arrived with Julek in her arms.

"Well, you're finally here. You have guests. They're upstairs," she said, and left.

Ania took off her shoes and went upstairs. First, she entered the room where Kornelka and Mateusz were. She took the boy because the girl was asleep, and went to the kitchen where her guests were sitting. She put on a fake smile because she couldn't afford a real one right now.

"Er, it's you..." she feigned disappointment. "My mom said I had guests. And you're more like family than guests.

" "What? Aren't you happy about our visit?" Edyta asked.

"I'm so glad, I'm glad," she replied, sitting down in a chair and settling Mateusz on her lap. "

Shall I make you some tea? You look so sluggish..." Dagmara asked.

"Yes, if I may, please. Green tea with prickly pear.

" "I know."

The six of them were sitting at Ania's kitchen table, bursting into laughter every now and then. Only she wasn't in the mood for laughter.

"I'll go carry Mateusz to his bed or he'll fall asleep right here in my arms," ​​she announced, and left the kitchen. "

Something's happened to her," Edyta said.

"That's what I think too. She's different somehow. She always sits there joking, but today she's not even smiling," Natalia added.

"Maybe we should go to her?" Edyta wondered.

"There's no point in wondering. We should ask her what's wrong," Dagmara said, rising from her chair.

"Then let one of us go, not all of us," Szymon suggested. "Go, Mateusz!"

"What? Why me?

" "If you don't want to, I'll go," Natalia said. "

No, I'm going. I just don't know if she'll want to tell me.

" "She wouldn't want to tell you something..." Edyta said sarcastically.

The boy left the kitchen and entered the room where Ania was. She was sitting on the bed with her head bowed. Mateusz sat down next to her but didn't say anything for a moment. He wasn't sure if she knew he was sitting there.

"I won't beat around the bush and I'll ask right away—did something happen?"

She was silent. She looked at him. He noticed tears gathering in her eyes. He hugged her and kissed her forehead. They sat like that for a while. Suddenly, he rose from the bed.

"Do you want to be alone?" he asked.

She looked at him. All she really wanted now was to be alone. He read it in her eyes and took her hand. They went into the kitchen. Her friends, seeing that the girl was crying, hugged her. Suddenly, she felt faint. She sat down in a chair and tilted her head forward.

-Szymon, go get her mom or dad, Natalia, make some strong tea, Edyta, go and fix her sheets in her room, I'll look for some pills, and you, Mateusz, sit here and hold her hand, she'll definitely feel better. Dagmara ordered in such a tone that no one dared oppose her. After a moment, Ania's mother rushed in. She asked if the bed was made and led her to her room. She put her to bed. Ania lay limply in the position she had been placed in. Her parents and best friends stood around her. Dagmara ordered her to do various things, like drink tea in small sips, open and close her eyes, and the like. She didn't have the strength to do any of this. Only snatches of conversation reached her. They wondered among themselves why she had suddenly weakened. They exchanged opinions and connected facts. Suddenly, everything fell silent. It seemed as if everyone had left. With the last of her strength, Ania opened her eyes to check if anyone was there. The bright light blinded her, so she had to squint.

"Wait a minute, something's wrong," she thought. "There's no picture on the wall, and everything's different here." It turned out she was in the hospital. She glanced at the ticking clock. It was 6:20 a.m. She wanted to call someone to tell her what was going on, but she couldn't find her voice. She noticed a button by the bed. She pressed it, and a moment later a nurse and her mother entered the room.

"Finally! We were so worried!" said her mother, sitting down next to her.

"What was wrong with me?" the girl asked weakly. "

We're trying to figure it out. For now, we think it's just stress and exhaustion, but we had to wait for you to get tests done. Now that you're awake, we can do them and find out what caused your fainting. Or fainting spells, because there might have been more than one," the nurse answered exhaustively.

At that moment, her friends entered the room: Edyta, Dagmara, Natalia, Magda, Natalia, Szymon, and Mateusz.

"Keep scaring us like that!" Edyta said with a smile. "

We almost had a heart attack," Natalia added.

"What are you doing here?" Ania asked. "It's half past six. You won't make it home or to school. And there's a biology test today.

" "You're here talking about the test, and we're dying of fear," Dagmara said.

"But you don't have to die for me. Not yet."

"I'll leave you two, you two, talk, and I'll go talk to the doctor," the girl's mother said, leaving the room. "

So why did you stay here all night?" the girl asked her friends. "

First we stayed at your place, but we finally decided there was no point in waiting and took you here," Edyta replied.

"And now we're sitting here," Szymon added.

"Well, go home! You won't be sitting around like idiots. It'll probably turn out I'm fine and I'll be home today."

"Let's hope so." - said Magda.

Her friends sat around Anka and talked. They shared their experiences of the last twelve hours. Everyone was dying of fear for their friend. She listened to their stories with interest, as she couldn't remember anything herself. She knew she'd been talking to Mateusz in the kids' room. At that moment, her film blacked out. She doesn't remember what happened next. A moment later, Ania's mother returned to the room. "

You'll have tests in an hour," she said, turning to her daughter's friends. "And you should go home, or if you're still stubborn, at least go downstairs to the cafeteria for something to eat."

"Oh yes! She's right," Ania added. "At least go eat something. You'll come back, and then you can stay here as long as you want.

" "Okay, then come on, because this French woman won't let us rest," Natalia said. "

Wait, I have to go home too, because the kids are probably worried sick there." "Ania's mother announced, said goodbye to her, and left with her friends. The girl closed her eyes. Even though she had been lying there the entire time and hadn't said much, she felt very tired. Suddenly, she heard someone enter the room and close the door. She opened her eyes. It was Mateusz.

"What are you doing here?" she asked. "You were supposed to go downstairs and eat."

"I know, I know. I told them I had to go to the bathroom because I wanted to talk to you.

" "Smartass," Ania said and smiled.

The boy sat down next to her on the bed. He clearly didn't know how to start because he just sat there and stared into the distance.

"Can I close my eyes, or will it bother you?" Ania asked.

"It'll even help me."

The girl closed her eyes. Mateusz didn't say anything for a long time. Finally, he began.

"How many times a day can you think about the same person?"

"It depends..." she replied, not opening her eyes.

"From what?"

"From how I feel about them."

"And if you think about someone nonstop twenty-four hours a day, what is it?" he asked.

She didn't have time to answer because Edyta entered the room. Ania opened her eyes and noticed the boy staring at her.

"And there you are! I've been looking for you all over the hospital, and you're sitting here," her friend called. "Come eat something, you're white as a sheet." She walked up to Mateusz and grabbed his arm. His gaze seemed to say, "I don't want to." But he left. Ania fell asleep. She dreamed of a figure in a black coat telling her that she would be unhappy and alone forever if she didn't help now. And it disappeared. Ania woke up. She opened her eyes. Dagmara, Natalia, Edyta, and Mateusz were sitting in the room. Dagmara was reading the newspaper, Natalia and Edyta were doing crossword puzzles, and Mateusz simply sat and waited for the girl to wake up. When he noticed her eyes were open, he sat down next to her on the bed. Immediately, her friends approached her.

"How are you feeling?" Natalia asked.

"Bad," replied Ania. "I dreamed of a large figure in a black coat. She told me I'd be miserable forever if I didn't help now. But who am I supposed to help?"

"Well, that's just nonsense. You know you'll never be alone. Because you have us," said Dagmara.

Ania found Mateusz's hand lying on the quilt. She squeezed it gently and smiled at him. He smiled back.

"Could you leave us alone for a moment?" the girl asked.

"Why?" Edyta asked, clearly outraged by the question.

"Come on, let's go," said Natalia, and pulled her friend to the door. On the way out, she winked at Ankia. The door closed. The girl looked at the boy.

"I found the answer to your question," she said.

Mateusz looked at her and smiled. "

Lately, I've started thinking about one like that all the time." She fell silent. She waited for his reaction, but he remained motionless. "I think we get along well, and I think he likes spending time with me too."

Mateusz stared at the floor. He didn't look at the girl even once.

"But I don't know how to tell him. Maybe you have any ideas?" she asked.

"I think it's best to tell him face to face. Or over the phone if you're embarrassed," he replied, blushing. "You know what, I think I have to go. I'll call the girls, they'll come back here." He took his hand from Ania's and stood up. He didn't look at her. His movements betrayed embarrassment.

"Okay, if you have to, go. And I'll call you," Ania said, smiling as she took the phone.

"Good luck." "Mateusz whispered as he left the room. He headed for the stairs. Suddenly, his phone began to vibrate in his pocket. He took it out and saw Ania on the screen. He stopped, unsure whether to answer or not. He returned to the room. Slowly at first, but by the time he reached the door, he was practically running. Ania was just setting the phone on the dresser. He entered and saw her smiling at him. He sat down next to her and took her hand.

"What? You told me to call..." she said.

On time as usual

     Krzysztof straightened his slightly askew service jacket and then glanced at the old, worn watch his father had given him.

"On time, as usual," he said to himself.

     The steady clatter of the train's wheels drowned out Krzysztof's lazy steps as he made his way toward the last carriage, peering into the mostly empty compartments. At this time of year, few people chose to travel by train.

     The next compartment wasn't empty. Through the glass door, Krzysztof saw a woman trying unsuccessfully to control two boisterous boys. They looked about six and eight years old, but Krzysztof had never been good at judging ages. A man sat opposite the woman, leafing through the back pages of a newspaper.

"I wonder if our guys will get it again, like they did last time away." A thought flashed through Krzysztof's mind as he read the title of the article, "Today's friendly match between Poland and Finland."

     Another man sat by the window, engrossed in a book. Krzysztof slowly slid the compartment door open and took a half-step inside.

"Good morning, ladies and gentlemen, I'd like your tickets for inspection." He uttered a phrase he'd repeated for years, a phrase that had been on his lips even when greeting someone privately.

     Surprised by the appearance of a new person in the compartment, the boys stopped jostling for a moment, and their mother handed them three tickets.

"Thank you. Have a nice trip," Krzysztof said, handing back the tickets after a moment. "'Crime and Punishment.' An interesting novel," he thought as he noticed the book's title while taking the ticket from the passenger by the window.

     The man, who had just been browsing the latest sports news, nervously searched his pants and jacket pockets.

"I think I've been robbed!" he said after a moment. "I can't find the wallet I put the ticket in. I'm sure I put it in my back pocket.

" "Please calm down and check again." Krzysztof had heard similar lines many times before.

"Unfortunately. It's gone." The man searched his pockets again.

"In that case, I'll have to write you a fine," Krzysztof announced calmly.

"I'm telling you, I've been robbed. I don't even have the money to pay. All the documents...

" "So..." Zkrzysztof pondered, then glanced at his old, worn-out watch. "I suggest you leave the train at the next station. It'll be here in a moment...

" "Fine." The man agreed, then began to think aloud. "I bet that when I was coming back from the restroom, that brat who bumped into me whistled my wallet. Yes! That's definitely when..."

     During this monologue, Krzysztof escorted the man to the carriage door, then opened it and stuck his head out. A white station sign with the name of the town loomed in the distance. Krzysztof stepped back and, waiting for the station, leaned against the toilet stall. A moment later, the train pulled onto the station platforms. Krzysztof, with a quick, decisive move, grabbed the man by the shoulder and pushed him off the speeding express train from Gdynia to Warsaw, which didn't stop there.

"Damn fare dodgers!" he muttered under his breath. "That's the third one today, and there are still two more carriages to check."

     Krzysztof adjusted his slightly askew service jacket and then glanced at the old, worn watch his father had given him.

"On time, as always," he said to himself.

Apparitions

I stopped at the flood embankment and got out of the car. It must have been parked there, because there was no road beyond, and the one along the embankment didn't interest me. I wanted to reach the bank, not drive along it. I locked my no-longer-new Subaru with the remote and climbed the three-meter, rather steep embankment. Standing at the top, I looked at the dirt road I'd come from, which cut through the forest like a scar from the wrists of a would-be suicider. I glanced at the embankment separating the forest from the river, and finally at the nearby other bank, about 150 meters away, also overgrown with trees like the one I was on.

It was a really warm May, so I took off my coat, spread it on the grass, and sat down to watch the flowing water and all the pieces of wood floating down from the higher part of the river. I could finally feel like myself. A short, slim—almost petite—pale, freckled girl with long, once red hair, now light brown. My eyes, however, didn't fit the picture: light blue irises with slightly darker pupil rims. People who worked with me briefly sometimes asked about my true eye color and couldn't believe it was actually blue. Probably because a teenager-looking girl in combat boots, dressed in leather and black, was prone to such strange ideas of changing her appearance.

Sitting on the levee, I wondered why I was here, and why now. I came to the conclusion that I enjoyed looking at something constantly flowing and constantly changing, something similar to life, only tangible. I enjoyed watching the rushing current of the river. In several places, I could see eddies, and branches broken off from trees after the night's gale floated on the water's surface. Some were still green with fresh leaves.

I pulled a pack of Davidoffs from my coat and, crumpling it in my hand, wondered if it was appropriate to smoke in the open air. Ultimately, I decided I didn't care about what should or shouldn't be done. I pulled out my gas lighter with a sheriff's star engraved on the side and lit a cigarette. I inhaled deeply and thought I could use some wine and then a driver.

I felt blissful in this environment and confident, which is why a squirrel appeared next to me.

"What are you staring at? Haven't you seen the river?

" "Sometimes I think you ghosts of emotions are as dumb as hammers.

" "And who said that if something is supernatural, it's automatically wise, cunning, intelligent, omniscient, and all that?"

"Sure, you're the only ones. Sometimes you just say something about what we don't want to admit or don't see, which might change something, or if not, maybe soothe it, and so on."

"Say what you want, and I'll tell you anyway that homesickness and loneliness are only easier to bear in places like this," the squirrel said, ignoring the irony in my voice.

"Because I came here specifically to let it out and to relieve myself of this burden, even if only for a moment. Is that more or less your explanation for this trip?

" "Ooh, aware of your own feelings? Are you a psychologist?

" "I'm not, I didn't have the means to study outside my city.

" "Bitter life," the squirrel jumped onto my shoulder. "Economics suits you too, and you have a Subaru.

" "Thanks, I like it too." There was a moment of silence, until after a long moment I spoke. "Say something, comfort me, or better yet, conjure me a man with a brain.

" "I can't do magic, and even if I could, you're asking for the impossible," I snorted with laughter.

"And are brains and men antonyms?

" "Not necessarily, although your gender often thinks so." You wouldn't want to date a squirrel, though.

"Well, yes, such a relationship would be too much for the public.

" "You're out of cigarettes and the filter is plastic." She pointed out, so I threw the cigarette butt away. "Calm down, being single isn't that bad and definitely not worth the stress.

" "But you're not even thirty yet.

" "And you're fifteen.

" "We probably won't get along, you're just lecturing me instead of giving me advice.

" "What? Would you listen to the advice of a squirrel or some other spirit?

" "I might listen to a spirit.

" "Then shoot yourself in the head and then you'll be able to talk to someone.

" "Funny as hell.

" "Okay, I won't be sarcastic anymore." There was a short silence, then the squirrel suddenly spoke up again. "But you, on the other hand, can't be so demanding of yourself. Just because you don't have a boyfriend doesn't mean you're worthless and don't have any 'pheromones'."

"So why am I alone?

" "Because that's how it is for now, and there's nothing you can do about it.

" "I see you won't tell me anything more. Disappear now, because we have nothing to talk about.

" "If you want, we'll see each other again," the apparition said before disappearing from my shoulder.

I sat by the river for a few moments, then got up and returned to the car. I no longer enjoyed sitting on the green grass between the matchstick material and the natural drainage flowing in the riverbed. I got behind the wheel, turned around in the clearing, and headed back to the asphalt and onward to civilization. A few kilometers of bumpy, sandy road lay ahead of me—on which you can't drive faster than a dozen kilometers per hour—to get closer to fulfilling my own dream of a warm, fragrant bath.

So I silently passed hundreds of trees, wondering how to while away the lonely evening, when a beautiful, large doe ran a dozen or so meters in front of me. I watched her disappear between the pine trunks, not noticing a huge man who looked like a true prehistoric man running in front of me. He resembled a typical member of the fairer sex, but wore only a deerskin loincloth that reached mid-thigh. He was much hairier, though not even half as hairy as an animal's. His hair extended to mid-back and a long beard.

When I saw him, I slammed on the brakes, but I still couldn't stop in time. He saved his legs by jumping onto the hood of my car, denting it significantly while roaring at me almost as menacingly and loudly as a full-grown bear. Terrified, I didn't know what to do: get out and run, or barricade myself in the car. Consequently, I did nothing; I broke out in a cold sweat from fear, unable to move. The barbarian fell silent, jumped down from the car, and began sniffing. He approached my door and suddenly looked me in the face with his bright red, concentrated eyes. For a moment, neither of us moved, then he tried to reach out. However, my driver's side window was closed. This didn't deter him, though, and he broke the driver's side window first. Terrified and screaming, I fled to the other side of the car, but he returned to the hood. He kept banging on the window until it simply fell in. This time, he reached me easily, pulled me out of the car like a doll, ignoring my screams. Then, holding me under his arm, he ran into the woods. I watched the Subaru disappear behind the wall of trees, then he seemed to lose interest in my screams and knocked me unconscious with a single, effortless blow to the head.

The

next thing I remember was the dampness hanging in the air and the warmth.

"This isn't how I imagined the place you'd end up after death," I thought, marveling at my own humor. I opened my eyes and, still lying down, rolled onto my back. High above me was a dark, barely visible rocky vault, and next to me was a large fire, and above it, a deer was roasting on a special rack. I sat down in front of the fire to warm myself, and across from me, just beyond the fire, I saw him. He was sitting on a tanned deer hide, next to him lay a piece of rock resembling a lump of salt, several spears, a pile of hides, and a flint knife. When he saw I was awake, he looked at me sharply, then went back to tanning the deer hide.

I looked around the cave again, but saw no direct exit, only a few dark openings. In my mind, I saw that some of them were blind, and the rest were twisted enough to get lost in them for days. The next image, however, was of the Neanderthal sitting before me—as I'd dubbed him—finding me after my escape through these corridors and pulling me back into the cave by my hair. I didn't like it at all, so I decided that escape was simply pointless, and I was surprised by my own indifference to the thought. The air

was getting colder, so I moved slightly closer to the fire again. I don't know if he noticed, preoccupied with his own affairs, but without my prompting, he stood up and covered me with one of the furs lying next to him. Despite his unattractive appearance, he was surprisingly caring and thoughtful. He impressed me for more than just that. He was excellent at preparing meat, tanning hides, hunting, as you could see over the fire, and generally surviving in this rock. I'd always been impressed by people who practiced survival, but he was better than them all; for him, it wasn't a hobby or a job, but his whole life.

"Do you speak my language?" I asked, not expecting an answer. He shook his head, letting me know he didn't speak, but he understood. I couldn't believe it.

"Do you understand me?" This time he nodded, without even looking at me.

"And can you learn to speak like me?" Now, in his turn, he just shrugged.

"If you ever want to learn, let me know, I'd be happy to help." He nodded in understanding and placed another newly tanning hide on the pile. Only now, when silence fell again, did he look at me. This time, his gaze was calmer. They were incredibly impressive in his brown-haired face, especially since this time they were blue and boring into me unceremoniously. I couldn't even move under his gaze, and I couldn't even think of looking away. After a moment, however, he lowered his gaze to the ground, picked up a piece of branch already charred at one end, walked over to the best-lit wall, and wrote: "I may not be able to speak, but I can write, so I can answer questions with more than just 'yes' or 'no'." "He amazes me more and more!"

"Do you have many more surprises like that?" He listened without looking directly at me.

"Quite a few, if you'd like to know them, I can't fit them on this wall." He wrote quite quickly, though not very neatly, sometimes wondering what to write.

"Who are you exactly?

" "It's hard to explain. This 'Neanderthal' is me, but inside I'm more than an ordinary human, and that's me too."

"And what does this 'more' mean?"

"For example, you only see your own apparitions, while I see them all. For example, my apparitions materialize at my will, and if it's a wolf, then it's a real wolf with all its physical attributes, one you can see and touch if it allows you to. The only thing that distinguishes it from wild wolves is that I can communicate with it as if it were my own person, through sound, thought, and facial expressions, and that I control it like an ordinary person controls a trained dog. For example, when I'm angry, I smash stones with my fist, and when calm, I break my fingers on the same stone." And for example, that I can read in..." "

In what?" I asked, and he shrugged, showing that he had run out of wall space.

"In the glove compartment of my car, there's a thick notebook and a few pens, do you know what I'm talking about?" He didn't even nod, just jumped up and ran out of the cave.

* * *

- "...Thoughts. Your mind is like an open book to me. As a rule, however, I don't read chapters about you. I only use your knowledge and copy it to myself. That's how I learned to understand you, and when you spoke to me, I was learning to write. Only theoretically, but as you can see, I'm getting better and better in practice. I use my mind-reading ability for hunting. Because all the skins you see here are the skins of those evil representatives of the species. And I know this from their own minds. I know that for some, murder is still murder regardless of what or who the victim was, but if you have to kill, it's better to kill the bad ones than the good ones. Besides, that's precisely what "It's a human weakness. They can't create pure herds. In every herd, there's someone who doesn't fit in, someone who, instead of being eliminated, spoils the herd to a greater or lesser extent. I know such elimination is difficult, but surviving in nature, within its laws, is much more difficult, and animals somehow manage it. In my opinion, instead of resolving disputes, you should eliminate—not necessarily by killing—both sides of the conflict, and there wouldn't be a problem. Nothing brings people together like a common goal," I read on the cards he brought. The more I got to know him, the more intrigued I became, and his negligence seemed less and less to offend me.

"After such an introduction, all I can ask is... And anyway, you know what I want to ask."

"I wrote that I don't read private thoughts, but if you want me to... I'm 95 years old, I don't know where I came from on Earth, I just am, and that's it. I don't have a name because I haven't needed one until now, and although it may seem strange to you, it's possible to navigate someone's mind so precisely as to read only individual sentences without recognizing others. Oh, and by the way, I won't shave specifically for you, so don't think about it." "That

's a shame, I wanted to see what you look like without your mask. "

"And are appearances important to you? For me, they're just an accessory, and if you still want to see my true face, then we have different definitions of it, because I'm not hiding it at all." "

Okay, let's just say this beard is a part of you, like an arm or a leg." There was a moment of mutual silence. However, I couldn't stay that way for long.

"I have a question..." I didn't finish, because he was already handing me the paper with the answer.

"That's how 'Neanderthals' are when they're looking for a 'female'."

"You just haven't outgrown the horseplay." I smiled broadly, and any remnants of fear or embarrassment vanished. I looked bravely into his eyes and saw that they were now green as moss on a stone. I stood up, wrapping myself in the skin he'd given me, and sat down next to him. I leaned against his shoulder, and he wrapped one arm around me, pressing me closer to him for warmth. And once he'd managed to warm me sufficiently, I fell asleep. For the first time in weeks, I had no dreams, neither nightmares nor the daydreams that intensify the emptiness immediately after waking. A pleasant warmth warming my face woke me. I didn't open my eyes immediately, though. I wanted to experience what my other senses were providing me first.

So

, first, I inhaled a fresh breath of air through my nose, which was clean and smelled of vegetation, not damp. I touched the ground with my hand and plucked a blade of grass from the carpet it turned out to be. I rubbed it in my hand, listening to the light breeze rustling the trees, gently stirring the leaves, and to the distant sound of a woodpecker tapping on the trunk of one of those hard forest elements. And when I opened my eyes, my suspicions were confirmed. I was in a small clearing in a rather dense grove, not in a cave. A swarm of small daisies grew around me, and the sky was a beautiful blue, obscured only by a few harmless white clouds and illuminated by a bright yellow sun.

I stood up for a moment to stretch my stagnant frame, then sat down on the deerskin that served as my bedsheet. I unbuttoned my blouse slightly and exposed myself to the sun's rays. I'd left my coat in the car, but I didn't regret it. It was of no use to me now. I'd love to strip naked, lie on the skin, and feel the deerskin fur beneath my back, soaking up the sun. The sun was wonderfully warm, and I'd had enough of my pathetic paleness for the moment. I don't know why, but I wanted to be like a plump peach, so tempting that the only way to control myself was to eat it. I unbuttoned my blouse even further to feel the sun's rays tickling my cleavage, and I lay down, closing my eyes.

I'd been basking in the sun for quite some time when a shadow appeared across my face. I opened one eye first, but when I saw a white puma looming over me, I jumped to my feet.

"Don't be afraid, if I were going to eat you, I would have already." He spoke to me through telepathy, not moving his jaw at all.

"Forgive me, but I have a primal fear of cats larger than a lynx." He smiled with almost human-like black eyes. I sat back down on my skin and listened to what the apparition of my Neanderthal had to say.

"I have no doubt. The mind reader sent me to bring you to the cave when you want to return. I'll be your guide until you learn the paths in this forest.

" "Is he so worried about me? Something simply prevents him from coming here in person, eh?

" "I'm not in the business of guessing his thoughts or judging his actions.

" "Well, you only work for him." I offered the puma a slight irony.

"It's an honor to do him favors. He's the last righteous man in our world.

" "I know you're just a ghost, but I assume you have some contact with ordinary animals. Who is he to them? Who is he to this forest in general? Tell me about him.

" "I don't know the words to describe who he is to us. The closest thing to truth would be to call him father, shepherd, judge, and executioner. He's simply the last righteous man, as all the animals here call him.

" "So, is he more of a god to you than an ordinary man?"

"We know he's not a god, but he commands a respect close to that of a god. Can I ask you something?

" "Well, if you want, ask.

" "Do all people have ghosts? What's it like with them anyway? You're the first person I can ask. So far, I've only encountered one human.

" "Ghosts aren't generally associated with humans, or anything related to humans." They're simply beings who seem to care for us by choice and simply because they enjoy it. Honestly, I don't know anything more about them, and what I do know isn't certain at all. They simply are, and that's it, and people have become accustomed to them and live in symbiosis with them.

"Supposedly, one couldn't live without the other.

" "Perhaps so, but no one knows.

" * * *

"Come with me, I'll show you something." He took my hand and, without saying anything else, began walking through the grove in an unknown direction.

He practically slipped between the trees, and I just bumped into them, slowing him down more than he could bear.

"Are you coming? Are we supposed to get there by evening?"

"I haven't been running around the forest for hours like you have for ninety years. I can't rush between trees growing less than a meter apart, dragged like a dog on a too-short leash." He didn't even comment on my remark, just slung me over his shoulder and started running. His simplicity in solving problems defused me like a bomb disposal unit with the simplest bomb.

After fifteen minutes of brisk, yet uncomfortable, running, we reached the edge of a narrow, grassy path, where he set me down. I could have driven my car here if I'd known something like this existed. We stopped a dozen or so meters from the road, next to a low but rather extensive mound of leaves, branches, and other such debris.

"What do you want to show me?

" "This," he pointed to the mound. "I hid your car under it. I secured it well, so nothing will happen to it, and whatever you had in it is in the trunk." "And how can you not smile in front of such a simple-minded person? It's impossible, so with a slight smile I said,

"Thank you, that's nice, but I doubt I'll ever need a car again."

"It might seem that way to you now, but in a few days, weeks at most, you'll miss your world so much that you'll decide to return to it, and how are you going to do that without a car?

" "And will you let me come back? I'm your mating trophy.

" "I never thought of you that way. I simply wanted to learn about the outside world, other people, and generally about things I didn't know.

" "In that case, I could go home now, because you've learned everything I know, even talking," I said, not particularly hiding the fact that he was offended by his self-interest. "I'm

not kicking you out, if that's what you mean, but your departure is only a matter of time.

" "Okay, let's not argue, because we don't have anything to talk about, right? Let's go back to the clearing. I want to look at the sky from there during the day today and then see that enormous moon at night." "I decided I wouldn't talk to him about it; it would just upset him unnecessarily. He didn't care at all why I wanted to be here, or what I would think of him if he treated me like some kind of fork."

"Jump in, then," he said, offering his back. This time the journey was much more comfortable, though longer and ending in a completely different place than planned. We found ourselves in a much larger clearing than the one where I'd previously soaked up the sun. It was surrounded by a dense fence of spruce, pine, and fir trees. On one side, there was a tall, narrow waterfall ending in a small lake. The water poured with a roar, and the sunlight falling on the reservoir, passing through the falling liters of clear liquid, split into a beautiful rainbow. The view was simply incredible, and although the water in such places was usually very cold, this place was the most charming I'd ever been.

"Do you know many more interesting places like this?" Because I don't know if I should prepare myself for more landscape surprises.

"I know a few more, but this is my favorite.

" "That's why," he said, standing up, turning his back to me and facing the lake, removing his loincloth, and jumping into the water.

"Your provocation is way beyond the pale.

" "And which side of that line would you rather be on?

" "It doesn't matter, as long as it feels good," I replied, smiling. "Now turn around, because we haven't known each other long enough for me to be undressing in front of you." Without a word, he turned away, and I quickly stripped off my clothes and jumped into the water, which turned out to be exceptionally warm.

"And how do you like it now?" he asked when I touched his arm, signaling that he could turn around, but also letting him know that now he could only look me in the face.

"More and more with each passing moment."

We swam in that romantic, natural, unowned pool for long fifteen minutes, playing with the joy of children and without the embarrassment that had seemed so obvious to me in such moments until now. Every now and then, one of us would swim under the waterfall, letting you feel that pleasant touch of water flowing over you, familiar from the shower.

Standing under the cascading water, I lifted my face to it, feeling him float past me, stand right in front of me, embrace me, and begin to kiss me. He took me without a single word of encouragement, warning, or announcement. Most interestingly, though, was that even though my entire mind was rebelling, I didn't protest, not even with a single small gesture. I submitted to his decisive and forceful caresses, offering him my body and offering it to him like an amateur chef who, delighted to have pleased others with his new dish, offers them seconds. I felt joy in being able to please him with my presence. It was like the joy of being Santa Claus, bringing the gifts you'd always dreamed of.

We did it there—under that waterfall—knowing that this was a slice of our lives that we would remember from a third-person perspective, not as participants in that shower. I was a gift to him from myself, and his joy, happiness, and tenderness were a gift from him to me. Neither of us asked for any gift from the other, and that was beautiful, too.

After our act, we swam closer to the shore and silently embraced each other, still in the pond. We both listened only to the roar of the waterfall and the warm wind through the trees, until he finally spoke to me in his calm, gravelly voice.

"How are you feeling?

" "See for yourself. I have nothing to hide anymore." I whispered my last wish directly into his ear.

"Are you sure?

" "Yes, I want to be with you, and I want to expose myself completely to you.

" "Why? Is it so important to you?

" "Yes, damned important. Just as everyone who writes a diary wants to be read someday, I want you to read my mind, if you can call it that."

"Okay, then." "He said, then his eyes became like those of a blind man, covered with cataracts, and after a moment, his white pupils enlarged to cover his entire eyeballs and took on a rainbow pattern. They became vertically painted with rainbow colors, one next to the other, remained like that for a moment, then returned to their normal human appearance, taking on a golden hue.

"Are you willing to make so many sacrifices? And all for me?

" "Are you starting to irritate me, is it so hard to understand?

" "I don't know why you're doing this?"

"Because I love you, you idiot! You better learn that mind-reading thing." He smiled.

"For what?

" "For a joke.

" "I think a joke?

" "Don't flatter yourself like that, or you'll grow wings." He fell silent for a long moment, then disentangled himself from my embrace, stood up, walked a few meters to the shore, and said,

"For the wings, I have to show you something, and then you can decide if you really want to keep all your promises." I was surprised, not understanding what he was trying to tell me and unable to guess the message. He began to transform into various animals, one by one, from a squirrel, through a lynx, a wolf, a white puma, a bear, a huge old African elephant, and a huge white dragon. He was several meters long, excluding his powerful tail, which ended in a bone club. He had a slender head, ending in two flaming horns at the back, and a mouth that, if he opened it, I could stand upright. His dragon wings, however, had a span of several dozen meters and covered almost the entire lake.

"Don't be afraid of me in any form. I am still myself, I just look different," he spoke through telepathy. "This is my truest self."

"Are you a ghost?"

"I'm a small percentage of the ghosts in the world, including yours. There are a dozen or so of us now, but we don't communicate. Many of us died long ago, but we still care for people." I didn't know what to say. My mind was a complete mess, a vast jumble of emotions, from fear, through anger, to regret.

He lay down, and I moved closer to his burning horns to dry myself off. And when I was dry, I dressed and, without a word, set off into the forest, not even knowing if I'd find my way back to my Subaru. He didn't even ask where I was going. He transformed into a bear and walked beside me.

We walked like that for a while until I finally gave in to his silent plea and mounted him. He carried me straight to the spot where he'd buried my vehicle, and when I dismounted, he dug it out quickly and skillfully, pushed it onto relatively level ground, and stood as a human in the shade of the trees.

"I have to start my life over again because of you." Perhaps we'll meet again, but don't visit me in any way. You understand me, right? He didn't reply, and his eyes were as black as coal. So I got in the car and drove slowly away without looking back.

That was the end of my forced break from human social life. I had no idea how to continue my life. I only knew that it would return to what it had been like a dozen or so days ago, but it would be different than before.

What kind?

I'd like to know.