Colony, Love, Death

I met Artur at summer camp. We became friends from the very beginning. We confided in each other about our problems, and it was wonderful. Sometimes we wondered what would happen when the camp ended... Everyone said we were a couple, but everyone was wrong. We were just good friends. We spent entire days together, went everywhere side by side, unable to be apart even for a moment because we immediately felt a certain emptiness in our hearts. The days passed, the camp was coming to an end... The day came for the "farewell" disco. We didn't want to go, so we begged the counselor to let us stay at the Center. After everyone had gone to the disco, we slipped away and went for a walk. I felt a bit chilly. Artur noticed this very quickly; he was observant, after all, and he gave me his sweatshirt without hesitation. As we passed the tree, I suddenly noticed Arthur staring into my eyes. Then I noticed he had tears in his eyes; besides, I was already starting to cry... I threw myself into Arthur's arms, sobbing:

"I don't want to leave you, I don't want to!" I screamed.

"Anita, I don't want to leave you either, I don't want to leave you. You're the most important person in my life. I didn't want to tell you this, but I have to, because I know that if I didn't tell you now, I would regret my actions for the rest of my life. I have very little time..." Arthur looked at me sadly. The last sentence terrified me...

"Artur, what are you saying?" I sensed it was nothing good...

"Sit down." My friend began pacing the room. I sat down and waited for him to say something. "

You've probably noticed I've been restless these past few days?" he asked.

"Yes." I noticed you were so, so... "different"... You were always sad and pensive, I saw fear in your eyes. I thought it was because of the trip, but I feel it wasn't just that. What's going on? Tell me," I pleaded. "

At first, I was afraid to admit it to you, because I thought you'd despise me, like all the rest...

" "What 'rest'?" I asked.

"Don't you understand yet?"

"No..."

"I'm a drug addict...

" ***

What could I do? I burst into tears. My friend hugged me. I asked, "How was it? How did it start, how? You said things were "so-so" in your home?" "

I told you my parents, my life was perfect. It wasn't at all. My father drank and beat my mother. My sister ran away from home, I met a friend who was a drug addict..." And that's how it all began." Artur looked me in the eyes and said, "

Will you forgive me? Please!"

-How could you doubt it? The fact that you're "taking" is not your fault, it's an illness. Artur, I want to help you...

-Anita, thank you. Thank you for being with me...

***

The next day we were driving home. I sat on the bus with Artur, promising each other we'd write to each other. I still had tears in my eyes. Artur wiped them away with a tissue, promising he wouldn't reach for the "drugs," that he would do it for me, because he knew he had someone to live for. Saying goodbye, we cried like little "babies," even though we had "quite a few springs" under our belts. Artur was 16, I was almost 13. Everyone laughed at us, but we didn't care; it was the most important moment in our lives. A turning point, the moment we entered adulthood. Artur sadly glanced at his watch, announcing he had to go. I had to go too. "I have to go... I promise I'll try..."

"You don't have to promise, I know that." At that moment, our faces drew closer... It was my first kiss. A kiss from someone I love and who loves me. When I got into my parents' car, I noticed that there was no one waiting for Arthur, not even my mother... I once read that the only "person" waiting for us with outstretched arms is death... Two days after arriving home, I received a letter from Arthur. He wrote that he had started using drugs, that he couldn't get rid of them, that he had no strength. Reading the letter, I cried, feeling powerless, that I couldn't, couldn't help him. I wrote back, begging him to stop, to do it for me. For the next few weeks, I was in constant fear. Arthur gave no sign of life. I was afraid, thinking of the worst. When a month passed, I started calling his "junkie" friends. I was afraid of what they would say, but I had to know... It was probably only the seventh time I asked about Artur that he didn't hang up. The previous ones had done just that. The boy knew who I was because he asked,

"Are you Anita?"

"Yes. What's going on with Artur!" I shouted with tears in my eyes.

"Don't shout! This isn't a phone conversation.

" "Tell me!" I was furious. "

As you wish. Artur overdosed. He "overdosed."

"What does that mean?" I didn't understand, or rather, I didn't want to understand.

"He died! Do you understand? He died." I slowly hung up the phone. I don't know what happened to me next. I woke up in the hospital. My parents were sitting by my bed.

"Anita, we know... We saw a calendar with that boy's number. We called him, and he told us what happened. What happened... He told me to apologize," my mother said sadly.

"I want to die!!!" I started to get hysterical.

"Don't say that! I forbid you. You have to live," Dad said softly. "

I have no one to live for. The person I love, or rather loved, left my life... I didn't even go to his funeral," I cried. Mom took me in her arms, "soothing" my pain. "

What was it like?" I asked.

"Do you really want to know?" Dad asked.I nodded yes. Dad started talking:

"His father beat his mother so badly that she ended up in the hospital. She died a few days later. They locked him up, and he... He broke down and... overdosed," Dad finished, and I started crying again.

"I could have helped him!" I screamed.

"You couldn't. Nothing could help him anymore.

" "And my love? Doesn't it matter? What I feel doesn't matter either? What's in my heart? Does that mean anything?"

"Anita! It means a lot. But you have to understand that. You don't want to end up like that,

do you?" "I want! I want to be with Arthur. Why should I live, he's gone! Why?" I asked. "

Anita, he's here! He's in your heart, in your memories, in your thoughts... He's up there. He looks at you and asks you to live. To believe in yourself, to not make the same mistake he did. He wants you to start over. Do it for him. Will you?" Mom asked.

"I'll do anything for Artur...

For several months, I couldn't "come to terms." I went to his grave every week. For three hours, I "talked" to "Artur's spirit" at his grave. I couldn't cry anymore, I didn't have the strength to shed tears. I couldn't cry, I had to live. Live for Artur...