The sound of the sea

I was caught up in the rhythm of her words. She spoke more and more pleasantly, and I felt the desire to live. As if she were some inscrutable force pulling and pushing me away. A boat ride—that's how I can describe it. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you so much, don't be afraid, please youeeee. If she were the sea, I would drown in her. I looked down and saw my dreams of manhood dying. We were in heaven a moment ago, and now we were about to fall low, the lowest.

"God, please give me strength," I directed my thoughts upward.

I never thought it was so important until it happened to me. I saw a mist of black hair, felt the gentleness of her hands stroking my cheeks. Such a beautiful feeling, yet so insignificant to my second brain. She looked at me with that look that said, "I'm not angry, but..." I got up, went to the kitchen, and poured myself a Coke. It was the only solution I could think of. The best one possible.

I downed the glass in one gulp and returned to the room. She was getting dressed with a resigned expression. Sadness is beautiful, resignation is despair. A failed dance to beautiful music. You hear those drums, you expect to show what you're capable of, and then it happens. It's like a tear that leaves your eye but doesn't flow down your face. It simply disappears.

"Shall we wait?" I asked uncertainly.

"Wait..." she said, adjusting her blouse.

So I waited. Apollo with one thing wrong. A god who made one mistake. What's wrong with this picture? Where's Wally?

"I have to think about it."

The words hit like a wave you don't expect when you're lying in the water after the previous one has crashed. But it wasn't pleasant. Full of evil, of twenty wasted days spent writing poems about the future, the lights of the bars, the music of the rooms where we ate pizza, the flames that went out when we met. A minute later, a door slams and the water calms. All I hear are the seagulls singing the song of lost time. I don't look down. I fall asleep to the sound of the sea, which has been there for a while...