Variations

"Angeline also mentioned a prince today. She can't think about anyone else, it's always prince and prince... who is he and where is he?

Steve... a boy I recently met by complete accident. Long hair, green eyes. He could be a prince, but mine... Am I in love? No, nonsense! It's just a crush. Another crush... But crushes fade quickly; eventually, he'll turn out to be some kind of boring, horny, or idiot. I'm lucky with those kinds of things. Anyway, we won't be compatible. Actually, who said we were compatible now? We've only talked a few times, so what if he paints!? You're not in love, are you? Oh my, Lili, it's just chemistry, a crush that'll go away in a few days! Yes, right. But he's really handsome."

"Steve? Who the hell is Steve?" I said to myself.

This was the second time I'd sat in the bathroom reading my sister's journal. The entry was from yesterday, so I was up to date. Of course, I know I shouldn't take her diary, much less read it. But well… I'm her brother, and I'm worried. I want to know what's going on in my dear sister's soul, I want to know the thoughts she's not telling me. She should. I'm her brother, her twin. She should tell me.

From downstairs, I heard a key creak in the lock.

Lili, I thought. In an instant, I was up and running out of the bathroom. My sister's room was at the end of the hall, right next to mine. I burst in, swinging the door open, and rushed towards the desk, or more precisely, the open drawer.

Had I not locked it? I was surprised. I had barely put the diary back when Lili appeared in the doorway.

"What are you doing here?" I heard her voice right behind me.

"Nothing… I wanted to borrow… a pen," I blurted out.

"A pen? Don't you have yours?

" "I prefer yours."

She looked at me strangely for a moment, then went to her desk and pulled a blue pen out of the mug.

"Is that okay?" she asked, handing it to me.

"Absolutely.

It was hot. Any longer, and she'd have caught me with the diary in my hand. I need to be more careful.

" "But who the hell is Steve?" I repeated, sitting down on my bed. "A crush...fuck!" I angrily punched the wall. It hurt.

Maybe she'd actually get over it in a few days...if this is another one, then there's nothing to worry about. Yes, definitely.

I glanced at the clock. It was almost 8 p.m.

My parents were away visiting friends for a few days, so we'd be alone. Great. It doesn't happen very often, so we have to make the most of our free time somehow.

" "Lili," I said, entering her room. "What do you think about an all-night movie? We'll watch every horror movie we have at home, and then we'll be scared...ouch!"

"Okay, but first we have to prepare something to eat. I don't like being scared on an empty stomach," she smiled. "Are those three pizzas we bought last week still in the freezer?

" "They should be. I don't think anyone ate them.

" "So, Mr. Moore, come to the kitchen. Today we're serving our specialty, oven-warmed Hawaiian pizza. Three times.

" "Mmm, it smells wonderful." Lili crouched in front of the stove. "You know what, keep an eye on them while I quickly jump in the shower."

"Shower," I thought, a faint smile spreading across my face. I loved that word, especially when it came from my sister; it always reminded me of her smooth, wet body.

For a long time, it had been my ritual to sneak up to the bathroom door when Lili was there and watch her bathe. Of course, she locked the door, but I knew how to open it.

I set the timer on the stove to automatically turn off the oven and quietly walked to the bathroom door. From the sound of water running from the faucet, I deduced that Lil was already washing herself.

I easily unlocked the door and peeked in.

"Oh yes," I whispered, seeing her silhouette in the shower. Unfortunately, the shower glass wasn't perfectly transparent, and I could only see the outline of her body, but it was enough for me. After all, what's imagination for?

I watched her wash her hair, then lather her entire body and rinse with water.

"Lili," I said quietly, "how much I would give to be there with you..."

I touched my lower abdomen. It felt good.

No, I won't do this while staring at my sister, I thought, but one glance at the shower was enough, and my hand found that spot.

Still kneeling, I leaned my head against the wall and continued touching myself, faster and more intensely. A feeling of approaching bliss slowly overtook me. The world ceased to exist; it was just me, Lili, and orgasm.

"Julian, is that you?" Her voice was like a bucket of cold water. I quickly closed the bathroom door and silently locked it.

"I wanted to tell you... the pizzas are almost ready," I managed.

"Oh, well, I'll be down in a moment.

" "Okay," I replied. But it wasn't okay, I had a problem and needed to get rid of it as soon as possible.

The bathroom is downstairs, I thought. I reached my seat, hunched over, and sat on the toilet lid. It wasn't as pleasant as before, but I needed to vent.

"That was my first time with you, Lili," I said to myself. "I think I've gone crazy... Yes, I definitely have. "

I roared with laughter.

"Is everything okay, Julian? Is the toilet telling any jokes?" she asked as I entered the kitchen.

"Let's say. Pizzas ready?

" "Yes, sir.

" "Time to start the movie. What first?"

"The haunting."

"Okay.

We'd only watched one movie when Lili wanted to sleep. I didn't feel like staying up all night alone, so I went upstairs with her.

"Aren't you afraid? Can I stay with you?" I asked hopefully.

"Stay," she replied, to my surprise and a joy I tried to conceal. "We'll talk."

I lay down next to her and covered myself with a blanket. I pressed my head against her shoulder; her skin was so smooth. I immediately remembered the image of her taking a shower.

Calm down, Julian, I thought, just calm down, don't do anything stupid.

"I'm so tired, I've been out all day. You can't imagine how many miles we've covered shopping. At least I had fun with Angeline.

" "And how's the prince?"

"How do you know that?!" she asked, practically rising from the bed.

"I overheard your conversation once when Angeline came here," I lied. "Who is that anyway?

" "It's her… beloved… whom she's waiting for."

"Like a Prince Charming?

" "Let's say.

" "On a white horse, who will one day come and take her to his castle and they will live happily ever after?

" "You won't believe me if I tell you, but they were together once before, a long time ago. They were separated, and now she has to find him, just like everyone else...

" "Princess Serenity searching for Endymion and the guardians. It smelled like 'Sailor Moon.'"

"Don't laugh, you don't have to believe it.

" "Do you believe it, Lil?" I asked.

"I think... I mean, I don't know. Some people woke up, they remember, they say... princess... But I don't remember any of them back then... I mean... you think I'm talking nonsense, right? I know it sounds like it, I didn't believe it at first either, but they have some kind of power, it's strange. Angeline thinks I do too... but I don't know.

" "And this prince, where is he?

" "Nobody knows, but she's waiting." Actually, I'd like to know that there's someone out there just for me. I'll meet him, fall in love, and be happy. At least

, that's what I think. I wondered for a moment if he was thinking about that damned Steve. I felt a strange, unpleasant feeling come over me.

"But you haven't fallen in love yet?

" "No. I don't think so."

I felt like my heart was about to jump into my throat. She never hesitated in answering that question. So he was important to her after all… important enough that she wasn't even sure how she felt about him. I was overcome with rage. If Steve were here, I'd strangle him with my bare hands.

"Although maybe it's just infatuation," she added after a moment, "only a stronger one. Because you can't love someone you don't even know, at least I can't. How can I know he's the one if I don't know anything about him, not what he's like, or what he likes or dislikes.

But Angeline can, because she knows, she knows him. All it takes is for him to show up, and she'll know he's the one. Destiny... for others, it's trial and error. Excuse me, my eyes are closing on their own, let's sleep."

She turned her head to the other side, and soon I heard her calm breathing. She was asleep.

I couldn't sleep for a long time that night, and not because of the horror, but because of what she'd told me. What if she found out she liked this Steve? What then? What about me? So what if I'm her brother? Surely no one could forbid me from loving her... It was the first time the thought had hit me so clearly; I'd never admitted it before, pushing it away like a nagging guilt.

I looked at her. She was so beautiful, so incredibly beautiful. I gazed at her light hair, loosely spread across the pillow, falling across her forehead, her sleeping face, her closed eyelids topped with dark lashes.

I moved my gaze to her lips and examined them closely. They were pink, smooth, and slightly parted. Suddenly, I felt the urge to touch them, to taste them. They were almost still, and it seemed to me they were calling me, coaxing me, tempting me.

I glanced at her closed eyes, but after a moment, I looked back at her lips. They drew me in; I could no longer concentrate on anything else, and only one thought ran through my mind: a kiss.

But I couldn't move, afraid that even the sound of my breathing would wake her.

I lay completely still for several moments, which felt like hours. All the while, I mentally battled with my desire. But it won.

I slowly leaned over her, never taking my eyes off her face, and making sure for the hundredth time she hadn't moved, I touched my lips to hers. Their warmth and softness made me want to press myself deeper into them, savor them, lose myself completely in that kiss.

I knew she could wake up at any moment, but I stopped caring; only this moment mattered. My heart was pounding in a frantic rhythm; I felt it in every part of my body and heard it in every corner of the room; my head was pounding.

When I removed my lips from hers, I looked at her again.

She was still asleep.

"I love you, Lili," I whispered, and snuggled closer to her.