Zbyszek III

As usual, ZB traveled

the country promoting kitsch. He loved this job; he could spend time in his favorite BMW, and when he'd had enough of the exhaust fumes, he'd press the yellow button and zoom along on his green scooter.

One day, he was riding in his BMW, his shirt open, listening to his Muse. And his Muse was wonderful—like everything the charming ZB touched.

Suddenly: "Tu tu tu turu!" A brand new red cell phone rang. With a flashy eye,

he answered. "Hello!" he asked...

It turned out it was GORGEOUS. Zbyszko had a new task ahead of him. Well, a certain crazy university library worker—he'd gone mad! Thanks to his intense reading of "The Alchemist," Coelho came up with the following legend:

Firstly, working in a library is wonderful, but what are these readers for? They're just a nuisance. A person would have to write down UKD numbers for books, or something, and he has to (&#@!!!**$!!!) borrow them! Who could stand that? Nobody sane. Besides, there are too many books in libraries, too many of those numbers to write down. So he came up with a plan!!!

First, he started eliminating readers from the overinflated reading culture. He bought a clever brainwave disruptor from the Russians and disrupted them just like that. And if he disrupted someone, they simply weren't allowed to read anything more. Write, talk, walk...none either.

Then he launched a massive attack against written cultural goods. He neglected them, destroying them. For now, he'd only destroyed the uninteresting books, because he felt sorry for the interesting ones. And then...

And here's where Zbyszek had to step in.

He'd received a ton of gadgets from his superiors, including: A flashlight with a tranquilizing laser, an envelope with white powder (based on anthrax—anthrax; when mixed with water, it stimulated the stomach), a book with a built-in stun gun, GPS-enabled glasses, and (something he hadn't expected at all) a coworker.

"Oh, crap!" he thought, dissatisfied. "I always work alone."

He immediately wanted to defend himself against this discrimination, but no one wanted to argue with him. That's how it's supposed to be!

So he sat in the car and angrily drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. Suddenly, he looked up and saw a beautiful girl standing over him. So beautifuul that Zbyszek was speechless.

This was his new partner. Zbyszek was a bit surprised, but invited her in, and they drove off.

They knew where the Mad Librarian was, so they sprang into action.

Zbyszek came from the yard, and the girl (hereinafter referred to as SB) went to the front door. She knocked and started talking to the Madman. Meanwhile, ZB broke in from behind and quietly crept up to the madman busy with the SB. He held out a book with a stun gun, a laser flashlight in his other hand, and shouted the traditional

"Blood!!!" – because the Madman started to attack the Security Service (SB), and Zbyszek felt obliged to defend himself; so he shouted once more:

"Blood! This is unacceptable! Not only are you eliminating readers and destroying Kitsch, but you're also molesting humble librarians. What a lack of culture (also) for reading."

And he attacked him with a book (because, as we know, they are multifunctional).

Zbyszek and the Security Service (SB) took the madman to jail, and as ZB was leaving, he said

: "Now we should invite you to the library, but unfortunately. Here," he handed him a note, "you are banned from libraries across the country."

Then they left, and ZB invited the Security Service (SB) to go with him to promote Kitsch."