Adventure on Mars

21.08

Oh my God! I'm going crazy! Where am I?! What am I doing here?! For God's sake!

Maybe... I'll start from the beginning. First of all, my name is Julka, and... today I was going to start a diary. Of course, at first I wanted to write something about myself, but now there's no time for it. Something terrible happened—at least I think so. Although... I don't even know where I am, how I got here—I don't know anything at all anymore. And yet! I think I have a guess! Okay, Julka, start telling everything calmly and from the beginning.

Like every girl my age, I love going to concerts. Today was supposed to be a wonderful event in my life, because my friend and I were going to a Black Eyed Peas concert. When we won these tickets, we were so excited. We were incredibly happy not only at the thought of seeing our beloved band perform, but also because we were going to... Houston!!!

We spent the few days until the concert exploring the city. Today we decided to prepare for the concert separately and then compare the results. After a while, when I noticed that Olka (my best friend) was still a few hours away, I decided to take a nap, as I was practically exhausted after last night's party.

Our hotel is near a space station, and a rocket to Mars was supposed to launch today.

I'm a sleepwalker. Believe me, it's quite scary and dangerous – and you'll soon find out for yourselves.

If I remember correctly, there was a full moon last night, and I – the brilliant Julia – escaped the hotel unnoticed. I wandered quietly and calmly, bypassing all the security measures, and… boarded the rocket. The countdown began…

Jesus! My hand is shaking so much I can't write! I wonder if dear Ola has, by her grace, noticed I'm gone. Of course, I don't know if she'll figure out where I am (which will be very difficult) and figure out how to get me back to Earth!!! Okay, but maybe I should be more specific...

As I was sleeping peacefully, unpredictable, I suddenly heard a bang, and then something screamed at me! Terrified, I woke up and looked around frantically. You can imagine my surprise when I saw an unfamiliar place, and there was... a CAT!!! I had no idea where I was, what I was doing "there," how I got there, and... what this cat was doing to me!

I instinctively glanced at my watch—"Black Eyed Peas" was already playing. At first, I couldn't forgive myself—I thought it would be a boring evening spent alone in the presence of this unfamiliar animal.

As I was pondering this rather extraordinary evening and trying to find answers to the questions nagging at me (and there were quite a few), I suddenly heard something. I didn't know where the voice was coming from, but the words clearly implied that I had to report somewhere. But where and how?! And suddenly it dawned on me. I realized I was in a rocket, going to Mars, that I'd seen that cat on TV before, and he was also going with me to a planet where there would surely be some nasty-looking Martians.

At first, I started rejoicing because I thought that in the future, everyone in the whole world would be learning about me. Maybe instead of learning this awful English, everyone would start learning Polish, and then we Polish students wouldn't be as tortured as we are now.

I was so daydreaming when I suddenly realized that first I'd have to say hello to some three-headed, green monsters.

Now I'm sitting there terrified and distraught. I have no idea what to do. Oh my God, what if I really have to stay here for the rest of my life??? I'll go crazy!!! Not to mention I have no food supplies. And that poor kitty? What will happen to him?

OH! How could I forget?! I think... I'm saved because I have my CELL PHONE!!!!! Great. I just saw there's no signal here! Oh, I have a feeling I'm going to cry... I have to find something to do or I'll go crazy! I know! Remember when I wrote that you should know something about me? In that case, I'll write a little about myself.

Name: Julia Wais - I love my name! I only liked it when I read "Romeo and Juliet." Since then, I've been a Shakespeare fan and a huge theater lover.

Date of birth: March 21, 1990.

Eye color: blue - It suits me perfectly.

Hair color: red - I hate this color! Although, from what I know, girls with this hair color have artistic souls and... I hope that's true.

Height: 1.75 m (5'10"). - I may be as tall as a model, but unfortunately, that's where our similarities end. Sigh...

Shoe size: 41. - It's terrible to have feet the size of kayaks!

Dream job: Actress, possibly bassist.

Fell in love with: Filip on: May 28, 2004.

I love: William Shakespeare, Meg Cabot (especially their books), dancing, cinema, theater, shopping, listening to the Black Eyed Peas, and playing my bass guitar. Oh! I almost forgot. Of course, playing with my phone and surfing the internet.

I hate: English, the dentist, killing people and animals, and disco polo.

Boyfriend: I don't have one, because I don't think anyone in this world will put up with me for longer than... a moment!

Friend: Olka, who is completely crazy about shopping and boys, intelligent, and... very pretty. True, that can't be overlooked. Oh! One more thing! She's the vocalist in the four-piece band we started a while ago. Our band is called "Leaves of Clover" (i.e., "Clover Leaves"; Olka came up with the name for our band. She says that since there are four of us, we're a four-leaf clover, which means good luck. She's got a brain!)

Siblings: A brother named Michał, who is 9 years old and... I'm at a loss for words – "this" is indescribable!

Maybe I won't bore you with my story anymore, because another important, yet difficult, question has occurred to me. Namely, how far can you fly to the planet Mars? Wait... I think we learned that in physics. Wait... that's how I remember. Oh my! From what I know, I'll be FORCED to stay here for at least... 10 DAYS!!!!!!!!!! Did you get it? No food!!! Hey! But there's a plus to this, because at least I won't have to worry about what I'll do during my first encounter with Martians. Heh! Of course, I probably won't live to see that terrible moment. Neither I nor that little kitten.

Wait a minute! I think I heard something! Yes! Wait a minute, I'll be right back.

Further down the ship's deck (it'll probably stay that way for a long time...ugh...)

Hmm... I might not die from lack of food supplies, but something much worse will happen to me – it's not entirely out of the question. At least now I know for sure that some creatures live there! Can you imagine the scene that will unfold on the planet called the red planet in about 10 days? For heaven's sake! I'll be dying on another planet... No, I haven't imagined that yet! OK! Maybe I'll tell you what happened a moment ago.

While I was sitting quietly, writing in my beloved diary (oh my! I'm such a sucker...), I suddenly heard a voice. Terrified, I decided to follow it and finally reach its source. Well... and explore the rocket at the same time. And so it happened. When I entered a certain room, a machine appeared before my eyes. A machine that was barking out the following words:

"Hey! Can you hear me? If so, come in!"

I heard this sentence a few more times before realizing that the Earthlings, of which I still belonged, wanted to contact me. Without thinking, I screamed:

"You have to bring me back to Earth right now, because I don't want to be eaten by unknown creatures!" Aaaah... known or not, I've never pretended to be someone's breakfast before, and I don't want to experience that! HELP!!! GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!

After my words, which I shouted directly into the machine's "face," there was dead silence. Only after a moment did I hear a voice:

"Julia, don't be afraid. There's probably no life on Mars, and that's probably why no one's planning to eat you for, er, breakfast.

WAY???!!! What does that mean?! I was about to ask, but the voice continued:

"You need to know that we won't be able to bring you back to Earth just yet. But you'll definitely be fine. You're not in danger of starving, nor is the kitten Dot, because there's food on board. Now, listen carefully. When you leave room number 1, room number 2 will be directly in front of you, and that's where you'll find plenty of food for Dot. Besides, there's a strange (for you) machine opposite the entrance. When you press that big, round, red button, a pill with all the vitamins you need will pop out of a tube. Don't worry about running out of them for 10 days—because that's how long your flight will last. Oh, and we'll keep in touch with you the whole time." If you want to talk to us, you have to press the big green button in room number 1. Do you understand everything?

"Yes, I guess so," I stammered.

"That's good. Oh... I'm sorry, but I forgot to introduce myself. I'm John Stone.

" "Nice to meet you. My name is... er... gosh! Is that possible?! I've forgotten my name from all this. I'm terribly sorry, but I'll look in my diary and call you back.

I know I've embarrassed myself TERRIBLY—you don't have to tell me that. I'm just terribly unlucky."

But that wasn't the end of the conversation. Mr. John interrupted my moving ramblings with the words,

"I don't think that'll be necessary, since I know your name. You're Julka Wais, right?

" "Yes. I think so." Oh... could I ask how you know that?

" "It's a long story." Well, neither you nor I have anything better to do right now – I have set hours during which I have to watch over our spaceship. Okay, I'll tell you everything. A few hours ago, a girl with your name and surname was reported missing to the police. Your friend, Aleksandra, reported it. We were watching that rocket at the same time. I don't know if you know, but it's bugged, and we heard your...um...sobs.

Well, now you probably understand what I mean by "unlucky girl," right? Good, but despite my utter astonishment and shame, the voice continued:

"We figured you were the girl who disappeared. And that friend of yours, Ola, confirmed our suspicions because she recognized your voice.

" "Ola was with you? Can I talk to her?" There was a glimmer of hope in my voice, which unfortunately faded after a moment.

"No, she's not here because she went to some concert."

"She went to the concert..." It sounded so pathetic that the professor must have sensed it, because he said,

"Don't worry about it. She didn't want to leave you. We kicked her out because she kept bothering us, saying she was a wonderful friend, but terribly scatterbrained, and felt responsible for you. I have no idea what she meant. Oh, right! She told me to tell you she'd record the concert on camera, and you could see what it was like... er... er... Sam, could you tell me what that word was?" he asked someone.

"Cool," a woman's voice said.

So it's like this. Here, the poor guy pretends he has nothing to do because he's on duty... blah, blah, blah... And there, he's probably flirting with some blonde in a miniskirt. Okay, but I guess it's none of my business what their job is.

" "Oh, exactly! Thank you." Now he turned to me, "you can see for yourself on VIDEO how cool it was!

Ugh!" I don't even want to know what I've missed...

"Aha!" he continued. "You'll probably have a little more fun tomorrow, but I won't tell you what it's about just yet. And of course, your friend said she'll 'come over tomorrow to talk to Juka.' Oh! It's a good thing someone else is on duty tomorrow... I have one last question for you. Which country are you from?

" "Poland.

" "Well... then you'll bring glory to your country when you land on Mars.

" "I don't think so," I said bitterly. "As soon as anyone sees me, they'll think I'm some curious monster from Mars who really wanted to see Earth. I can already picture it in my mind, the monster jumping into the rocket and Julka being left alone on the Red Planet. Well, maybe my 'beauty' will come in handy for one thing and I'll be saved from the jaws of the Martians. And you know why?" As soon as the aliens see me, they'll think I'm one of their compatriots and... leave me alone. It would be even better...

- Stop talking this nonsense! From what I've heard, some producers want to make commercials with you...

- Yeah, probably something like this: "IF YOU DREAM OF HAVING SOMETHING TO DO WITH SPACE, IT'S ENOUGH THAT YOU ARE AT LEAST A SLIGHT REsemblance TO JULIA WAI. THIS WILL MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE A MARTIAN. HOWEVER, WE WARN AGAINST IMMEDIATE PLASTIC SURGERY, BECAUSE THIS CHANGE IN APPEARANCE COULD DESTROY YOUR PRIVATE LIFE, OR RATHER – THE LACK OF IT!" Thanks a lot, but I won't be using it!

"You know what, Julka? You must be hungry. Or maybe not... you'd better get some sleep and then we can talk. Good night.

" "Er... good night."

Date: August 22nd (second day on board the ship)

All I have to do is swallow one miracle pill and I feel like I'm reborn. Seriously. I wonder where on Earth I can buy something like that, gee... I could use it for, like, an English test. I'm brilliant! I just have one very big problem, which I keep blabbing to you about: first, I have to get to Earth so I can take those awful tests. Actually... I don't know which is better. Or rather, WORSE.

From what I've noticed, Kropka likes her food. Well, I guess you're not interested in what we consume in this strange machine. Although that's our only occupation (for now). I hope that changes soon, because I hear a voice. I think someone wants to contact me. Okay, I'm off for a bit, but I promise I'll be back in a moment (well... unless something eats me).

Later

Well, it wasn't "someone" but... Olka :)!!!! Apparently, her sclerosis had temporarily left her and she remembered a certain girl who had terrible luck, locked in some metal box and... had no chance at a normal life (Hey! I don't really live a quiet life, "away from people" - on the contrary, people who know me well say I'm crazy, even insane. Hmm... their opinion). Yes, yes, that girl is me!

Oh! I guess I shouldn't be lamenting my miserable fate, but telling you about my conversation with Olka.

As you've probably already guessed, when I heard a human voice, I ran to room number 1 and immediately heard this terrifying howl:

"Yoooooooooooo! Are you there?! Speak up! It's me - your beloved bestie - Ola. I want to tell you about these cool guys I met yesterday, I mean this morning. Yoooooooooooo...

" "What guys?" I blurted out with great interest. Well... I guess I don't have to explain why I'm interested in certain topics, right? Anyway, I should have kept my mouth shut, because it was predictable that Olka would start her monologue... Oh, I have a life....

"Oh! I'm so glad to see you...yeah... I mean, I hear you. I miss you so much! Well, let me tell you how I found out you were in a rocket ship. As you know, yesterday we were supposed to meet and go to a Black Eyed Peas concert together (it was wonderful, but I'll tell you about that later). When I stood in front of your door, I saw it was open, and in the middle of the room there was nothing to see except... black underwear. Yours, of course, but don't worry—too many people haven't had the chance to see it, boo... yeah... okay. You know very well that there were hundreds of people in that hotel going to the same concert as us. And you know very well that most of them had to pass your room to get out of the hotel."

- For God's sake! I'm going crazy!

"You certainly won't go crazy, because you know there's no doctor in that rocket of yours to cure you. But calm down—breathe deeply and listen to the sound of my voice. After hearing a few comments about your underwear, I realized you were nowhere to be found. That's when I started asking people if they'd seen a tall, red-haired girl with blue eyes and enormous feet (thanks a lot, Ola). Unfortunately, no one gave me any valuable clues. Not really knowing what to do, I went to the police. I told them everything I knew about you (of course, leaving out the details about that beautiful, black underwear). Finally, as I was pouring out my fears from the bottom of my soul to strangers, the phone suddenly rang. It turned out to be some spaceship captain. He was asking if anyone had been reported missing today. He was calling because he could hear voices, like sobbing, on that rocket that went to Mars. We immediately connected the two stories and went to the captain's headquarters. As soon as I saw him, I think I started to get hysterical. I shouted that poor Julka must be very lonely in that iron box, that they should bring you back to Earth immediately, that I felt responsible for you in some way, because you don't always know exactly what you're doing, and... I also mentioned a few things to them. Unfortunately, I gained nothing except one thing: I was interviewed. I have no idea how the television and press found out you'd been blown up. However, I know they were demanding information about you. You're my best friend, so I was the lucky one who answered their questions. You'll probably learn the content of this interview some other time and from someone else, because, as you well know, I don't like giving people bad... er... I mean, various information about their lives.

I felt like I shouldn't be happy with this interview, because who knows what Olka was babbling about me... Her lovely voice snapped me out of my thoughts:

"After this interview, I wanted to talk to you somehow (I saw some captain doing it), but they wouldn't let me. It's unfair, because I couldn't come here until today. You know what? I've run out of topics and I don't know what to talk about. Maybe you could point me in the right direction...

" "Of course. Talk about those guys.

" "Hmm... you know, Juleczka... there weren't any guys anywhere, really. I'm sorry I lied to you, but I just wanted you to finally speak up, and I knew it would work. And I have to admit, I wasn't wrong. Will you forgive me?

" "Well... I don't know. You may be my friend, but... C'MON, YOU CAN'T LIE TO ME!!!"

"Hey! Calm down, don't be mad at me. Don't shout like that, it'll ruin your looks. Relax. I've already said that magic word – "sorry." But if you want, I can repeat it again – SORRY!

"Olka, are you crazy?! Are you trying to ruin my mood this morning? First, you mock my appearance, and now you're talking to me in English...

" "I'm sorry I offended you, dear lady, but I'd like to clarify a few things. First: do you know what time it is? Well... of course, if you sleep until noon, then evening can be morning for you. No comment. Second: I have no idea what you want from your appearance. It's not that bad at all. Although... you can go with me to the beautician, hairdresser, and a few other salons, and then we can set out to conquer the world of men."

"Hey! Do you...

" "Don't interrupt me! Wait a moment. When I finish, I'll give you the floor," Olka said, as usual. I was starting to get angry, but she clearly didn't care, because she continued, "Thirdly: I have no idea what you want from English. Understand that it's your primary language. You won't get by in life without it.

" "That's not true!" I shouted, because I won't let anyone insult my beloved, native tongue! "That's not true! This terribly difficult language of yours is no more important than my beloved Polish. You don't have a shred of patriotism in you!

" "Phew, that's patriotism to me. I just look at the world realistically. Ah... so the fact that I know English better than Polish means I don't love my country?

" "In a way, yes, boo... every citizen should know the language of their homeland best. We come from Poland, so you can probably guess which language is most important to us?"

"You know what? You're already going crazy in that racket of yours. Ah! At one point, you interrupted me. What did you mean?"

"Mhmmm... I can't remember.

" "Never mind.

" "Did you want to tell me anything else?

" "No... I don't know what else we can talk about.

" "Yeah... I might as well go." "Olka must have decided there was no point in arguing with me, because... I don't think she's tired of talking. But of course I didn't tell her that. I was trying to be very meek.

" "If you want, go ahead. Will you "visit" me again?

" "Maybe... if I have time..." "Heh. Ola LOVES being asked for something, but... I'm not going to beg her on my knees.

" "Well... bye.

" "Bye!"

And so our long conversation ended with an argument. I wonder if I'll ever hear my friend's voice again. We'll wait and... see!"

August 23rd (third day on board the ship)

So far, I haven't heard THAT voice. And yet, I'm not lacking in entertainment. I've discovered that I like cats. Maybe... I always have, I just never had the chance to play with them. And today with Kropka was wonderful! Probably better than with Ola, because... Kropka at least listened to me. But you probably already know how it is with Ola, right? Exactly. And today, as I mentioned, I really had a good time. Kropka is the best cat I've ever been with. Today I taught her all sorts of tricks. I plan to do the same tomorrow. Do you know how sweet she looks when she gives me her paw? Probably not, but you can take my word for it. Oh! She just came to me with a pen. That's a sign that she wants to... FETCH (fetch - you didn't imagine it. I know it's a cat, not a dog, but I think she might know a few dog tricks, right? Well... even if she couldn't, it's too late. I taught her more than just fetching.)! Okay, I think I need to stop writing here and go take care of Dot, but first, let me tell you something I realized today. I DREAM that Dot will stay with me forever. I've already fallen in love with her like someone truly dear. Maybe... (I'm starting to dream again...ugh...) when I get to Earth (oh, did I say I was starting to dream? Yes, I just didn't mention that with UNFULFILLED thoughts...)

I'll live in my lovely home, like a normal person, and this cat's owners will let me keep her forever. Yeah... (as I mentioned) A DREAM!

August 24th (fourth day aboard the ship)

I'm starting to miss my friend. We may argue a lot (you saw evidence of this unpleasant phenomenon yesterday), but when we're not close, we start to miss each other. It's as if we took vows (not marriage vows, of course) and now we're supposed to be faithful to each other... until death do us part.

But seriously, I don't know what to think. I think there was fault on both sides. Maybe I have a good heart, because I suspect that if I could somehow miraculously contact Ola, I would probably apologize to her for my terrible behavior. But as I mentioned, Olka isn't talking to me. Worse – no one speaks to me except... Dot. But she mostly meows, and I don't understand much of it. Perhaps if I stay in this metal box for a while longer, I'll fully master the languages ​​of various animals – not just the cat ones.

August 25th (fifth day aboard the ship)

Olka still shows no signs of reconciling with me. I dare say so based on her behavior so far – she still doesn't speak.

August 26th (SIXTH DAY ON BOARD THE SHIP)

MY ONLY PEN HAS BROKEN, SO I CANNOT WRITE ANY MORE. THIS MESSAGE WAS WRITTEN (AS YOU HAVE ALREADY NOTICED) IN MASCARA.

29/08 (ninth day on board the ship)

Oh! I finally found a pen here. I can write! My heart sank, because these past few days, when I hadn't been here, I'd been very bored. Besides playing with Kropka, I had another pleasure – I TALKED TO MY PARENTS AND MICHAŁ!!! When I heard their voices, I felt a huge sense of relief. Imagine Julia Wais, drained of the will to live, sitting alone next to an iron machine, impatiently waiting for any voice.

I was actually hoping that voice would be Olka's, but I missed my parents too VERY MUCH. Perhaps even more. When (as I've already mentioned), tired of life on this ship, I heard Michał's voice (my younger and beloved brother), I cried with joy. Seriously. I never thought I'd be so happy about him.

Then my dear mother called. She said she missed me terribly and hoped I'd come back soon. When I heard that, I completely broke down. Then she and my dad started comforting me. They said it wasn't easy for them without me either, but they were trying to get through this time somehow.

I'm really sad right now because:

1. My parents are so far away, and I can't even hug them and cry on their shoulders (you probably think I'm some whiny mommy's girl right now. But believe me, my heart is heavy right now. I would give a lot for my mom to be here with me right now and comfort me even a little bit).

2. Olka isn't talking to me for some stupid thing, and because of that, I feel very lonely and terribly sad.

3. This reason, which I'm about to write here, scares me even more every time I think about it. I don't know if you've caught my drift. Look at today's date. It's been nine days, right? Do you know what that means? If not, I can tell you. TOMORROW, MY DEARS, I WILL REACH THE PLANET CALLED MARS!!! And do you know what the consequences will be? TOMORROW I WILL PROBABLY END MY SHORT LIFE. What am I saying? I wrote one word, contrary to what I think about my imminent death. Namely, I informed you that I WILL PROBABLY be going to the "Angel Academy" (by which I mean the school from Annie Dalton's books), but now I know that I WILL DEFINITELY graduate even sooner than I expect. Oooh...nooooo!!! I think I'm about to faint.

August 30th (the tenth and last day aboard the ship...

oh well, I think I'd rather be here than on Mars)

Oh my goodness! I'm about to go completely crazy (nooo... because I've been going completely crazy every day since my first day on the rocket—just gradually...)! I'm so scared! Oh! Have you noticed my vacation is ending? Boo... and it was supposed to be so beautiful abroad... Nooo... but I have to admit, I've never had a vacation like this before. Oh! I hear a voice. I think Mr. John Stone wants to give me some important tips about my behavior on Mars.

Oh no!!! My life is ending even faster than it began. Goodbye!

Later (in some strange place).

Hurray!!! I'm alive!!!—still?—we'll see in a moment.

I don't really know where I am now. No, don't worry, (probably) not in purgatory yet ;).

But I survived what already happened. Nooo... as usual, I'm not telling you about events in the correct order. Maybe later I'll enjoy experiencing this terrible, blood-curdling adventure, and now I'll move on to what's probably the most important part of my diary.

After writing the word "goodbye," I headed for room 1. (Check if I'm correct, because I'm too lazy to do it.) There, a flashing light, this time embodying Mr. John's voice, explained to me step by step what I was to do once I exited the rocket. You can imagine my surprise when I learned that I would not only have to go out and put a handful of Mars's dust in a "jar," but also take a few photos of this extraordinary planet.

I started to protest, saying that I had no intention of leaving this tin box. I wanted the captain to explain to me how to launch the rocket later and set it on the "Earth" course. However, Mr. John said there was no time for that now and that I would forget all his instructions anyway. I was furious and very nervous. And when I learned it was time to put on my spacesuit, I almost fainted from fear.

While putting on these unfashionable "clothes," I suddenly heard a bang and the familiar screech of a cat. My stomach lurched, my eyes filled with tears, my voice caught in my throat (which prevented me from screaming in terror), my head started spinning, and I couldn't hold the cat in my hands - they were so sweaty.

After a while (when I'd recovered from my terrible fantasies), hooked up to strange cameras and devices, I emerged with the rocket. As I've already informed you, I'd received a message from the Earthlings telling me to take photos on this planet. I always enjoy taking photos of myself, but this time I didn't want to because I'd have to go outside. "What if I encounter something?" the question nagged at me. But I emerged. I was terrified and devastated by the whole ordeal of this trip, so I didn't look around much. With trembling fingers, I took a few photos of myself and Kropka in various places and positions. I wanted to take them as quickly as possible and get this over with so I could return to Earth. Then, with wet hands, I scooped up some sand from under my feet and put it in a container I called a "jar."

I breathed a sigh of relief—it felt like a weight had lifted from my chest. I'd already taken a step toward the rocket when someone shouted after me. I was terribly frightened and remembered something. I remembered a proverb that says you shouldn't praise the day before sunset.

I thought quickly. I came to the conclusion that I should do something good with my life. This time, I wanted to dedicate myself to humanity. I had no idea what might happen to this camera after my (already certain) death, but I wanted to leave some memento of myself and my time on this strange planet.

I turned around and took a picture blindly. I think I got it right. But only after I took the picture did I realize what a Martian really looked like.

A girl stood before me.

*****

A girl who looked exactly like me stood before me. For a moment, I thought it was my reflection in the mirror. But there was no mirror there! I was shocked by this news, but even more relieved. I gathered my courage and approached her cautiously. The girl standing before me was as shocked as I was.

I wanted to say something—to break the silence, but my throat was dry.

After a few minutes of staring at the person across from me, I heard a very melodic voice. Unfortunately, I didn't understand a word. I just shook my head. Then the girl standing opposite me changed the "wave" on some strange device. She started "broadcasting" in a different way. I shook my head again. Something similar repeated several more times, until I finally croaked:

"I don't understand you."

I waited a moment longer until the girl switched to "my waves" and heard her voice again, but this time in a language I knew:

"Hi. I'm Olimpia.

" "Hi. And my name is Julka." I know I could have said something more sensible, but... it's good that I croaked something.

"Mhmmm... you're not from here,right? - I saw curiosity in Olimpia's eyes.

"Yeah. I'm from Earth.

" "Really??? And... do all Earthly creatures look like you?

" "If you mean humans, then yes, but they're very different from me.

Can you imagine my surprise when it turned out that they, i.e., the Martians, thought we were like aliens?"

Olimpia invited me to meet her friends. She also suggested a trip to the city. Honestly, once I'd befriended the "Martian," I missed Olka a little less. I was hesitant about Olka's offer, but I figured I had nothing to lose in this situation. I agreed, but before going to her house, I wanted to contact the Earthlings. So we entered the rocket and headed for room no.... (OluS...). As soon as we crossed the threshold, we heard Mr. John's excited voice:

"Yuuulka!!! Are you back yet??? How was it?" If so, then damn it... GET IN THERE!!!

- Okay, okay, okay. I'm here. What information do you want me to give you?

- Oooh!!! Julka! You're alive... um... it's good to hear from you. Well... and have you met anyone?

- Of course. You yourself said there must be life on Mars.

- Yeah... So who did you meet? - Wow! Mr. John was more concerned about all this than I was. Heh heh.

- A human, or more specifically, a girl.

- OH MY GOD!!! WHAT DID YOU SAY???!!! ARE YOU LYING?!

- No, sir, Julka isn't lying. I'm with her now, but we're going to my house soon. - Olimpia cracked me up because she said it with such... interesting and decisive calm. I admire her... ugh...

- What? Julka, are you sure THEY'RE not dangerous? - Oh my God! Mr. John must have lost his mind!

- Nooooo - eh. I don't know when I'll be back on Earth, because Olympia wants to show me around her planet and introduce me to her friends. And besides, I'm tired after this trip...

- Okay, but call me sometime. Okay?

- Of course. I'll have to go back to Earth SOMEDAY anyway, right?

- Well... I think so.

- In that case, bye... bye.

- Yes, yes, girls, go now, I'm feeling worse and worse. I have no idea what you'll do if I faint.

Heh, heh. This guy amazes me more and more with every passing moment.

Anyway, after talking to "that guy" and Olimpia's "get-to-know-you-so-soon" with Kropka, we set off for some mysterious tunnel. On the way there, my new friend (you'll admit, she's a bit unusual) explained that this tunnel leads to a sort of town where all the Martians live. That was enough to quicken my pace. Because I really wanted to meet Olimpia's friends (and by the way, I need to find a nickname for... well, for HER!). I was curious if they were anything like my Martian friend. And I wanted to know if they'd be hospitable enough to me to stop by their town, Jowita.

Anyway, when I "explored" this tunnel (by the way, its walls were covered in colorful graffiti. Well, in that respect, we're no different from Martians. It's just a shame that in something like this... ugh...), a... city came into view. So... sort of similar to Earth. I had no idea something like this could be found on Mars. When I was still living on Earth, I associated this red planet with a sort of wasteland/desolate... So imagine my surprise when I saw all those stores with infinitely better equipment, all those beautiful dresses hanging in boutique windows, these... Everything just seemed so truly "wow"! Well... maybe that's why I reacted the way I did when I saw it all, because it's been quite a while since I've seen anything that even remotely reminded me of my home planet. That's what happens when a defenseless human suddenly finds themselves on Mars.

Well... but I'm getting off topic again. What was I saying (or writing)? Aha! I was admittedly very surprised by all this, but you already know that. Later, Olimpia and I went to her house, where I greeted her very kind parents. Aha! They probably don't know where I come from, huh... they acted like I'd been friends with their daughter forever. And believe me, I haven't. Although Olimpia treats me like we're best friends in the world. And that's very kind of her, because, among other things, it helps me forget how far I am from my family and my loved ones.

Oh well... maybe I'll do what I should, namely describe what happened.

So now I'm sitting alone in Olympia's room, writing in my diary. The owner of this wonderful room stepped out for a moment to take a shower and get something to eat. Well... luckily, I'm over it now, and instead of reeking (after ten days... ugh...), I smell of olive soap and my Martian's perfume. You probably haven't given much thought to my daily toilet (or rather, lack thereof) in the rocket. I must inform you (with sincere sadness) that the designers of the spacecraft in which I spent the most terrible moments of my life didn't consider that some unlucky girl might end up aboard and need to use the toilet. Oh well, they couldn't have foreseen this (or maybe they could?), because even the girl herself had no idea.

But as usual, I'm writing the wrong thing. And I'd like to describe Olympia's room. But don't worry, I don't intend to bore you to death. This won't be a long and exhausting project like school, but I'll just list the most important elements that caught my eye when I walked through the door.

Can you imagine a room with fake butterflies everywhere? If not, I have to tell you that Olympia's room is completely covered in these colorful toys. Besides that, there are candles, teddy bears, and pillows almost everywhere. It's veeeery cozy here. You can relax here after a long, ten-day journey, rest your already frayed nerves after the exhausting trip, and feel like a princess living in a beautiful room.

But I'm daydreaming again. Maybe because I'm so tired? Probably. I guess there's no point in sitting here writing down everything that comes to mind, but instead I'll lie down and get some sleep before Olympia arrives. Aha! I have a new nickname for her. It might not be the best, but I'll treat it as "temporary" – until I come up with something better. "Butterfly." Do you like it?

I'm almost asleep anyway.

Good night.

Aha! That's one of my last thoughts: "Good thing I don't stink like that anymore..." ;)

Sweet dreams once again.

August 31st. Still a bed in Butterfly's room

. Gosh! What a good night's sleep on Mars! Yesterday I wrote my last note to you in the afternoon, and now... now it's afternoon again – only the next day.

Oh! Olimpia came to me with a tray with some typical Martian breakfast on it. Only now, when I saw her, did I realize how hungry I was.

Oh! Motyl says I slept for about twenty hours and that's why I missed a lot. She says the fans want to meet me. And that they're waiting at the

Hey! Wait a minute! What is she talking about! WHAT FANS???!!! Oh! Olimpia is starting to explain something to me.

Oh dear Mother...

Oh my God!

later in the Martian hospital

Well... not all Martians are as nice as those I've met so far. I learned this myself (or maybe soon I will fully learn it).

Can you imagine that Butterfly told/bragged that he knew a girl from Earth to his ex-friend. She didn't want to believe her, so Olimpia took her to the place where we left the rocket I arrived in. Jane later called the Martian press, television, and radio with the news that she had met an Earthling on her planet. To prove she was telling the truth, she showed them the rocket. MY ROCKET!!! She explained where I was and... now, under the window of Butterfly's room, crowds of:

• journalists

• photojournalists

• "curious

" • researchers

• police

The police, who were trying to stop the huge crowds of Martians "throwing" on Olimpia's house.

When Butterfly told me all this, I "threw myself" for the window. And that was a huge mistake. I was blinded by flashing lights from all directions... (what's that called?) and... I fell onto the bed.

We had no idea what to do to somehow "survive" these terrible moments. Butterfly started apologizing profusely for the whole mess, but I told him it wasn't her fault.

Our conversation was interrupted by a knock on the door. It turned out it was Olimpia's parents who wanted to tell us something. They just told me right from the start not to worry about anything. It turned out that... someone had damaged a rocket. A rocket. MY ROCKET!!! HOW AM I GOING HOME NOW???!!! Could someone please tell me?!

Oh my! When I heard that, my heart stopped and my stomach dropped. Olympia's parents started trying to reassure me, saying that the president himself had called and told me not to worry, because they, the Martians, would give me their faster model and I'd have something to fly back to Earth with. He asked me to consider leaving them my rocket as a souvenir. He'd also like to meet with me. Ideally, now, because he'd been waiting for my consent for hours.

But... how do I look?! Nobody can see me like this!

Butterfly immediately offered to give me super Martian makeup, with super Martian cosmetics that can last for days. She also promised to lend me her clothes, because mine... hmm... but after ten days of suffering, they weren't suitable.

She'd tried so hard with her makeup, hairstyle, and clothes, so I thought she might be feeling guilty. But when I asked her about it, she started assuring me that wasn't why she cared so much about me. She explained that she LOVES doing all these procedures and wants to do them professionally in the future. That's why she doesn't like to mess up her work. She tries to do everything professionally from the start.

During this almost hour of grooming, I learned a lot about... Martians. Perhaps I'll list all this information:

• Every person living on Mars carries a device with all the languages ​​of the universe. Well... maybe I exaggerated. But there are really a lot of them there. Thanks to this, the Martians can communicate with various beings from another planet.

• Where my rocket landed, people don't live. The conditions are simply not suitable for life. If they wanted to stay there all the time, they would have to walk, sleep, and eat in spacesuits. And that would certainly make their lives more difficult. Therefore, "their world" is located in a sort of other world. I can't describe it properly, but I know that to get there, you have to go through this secret tunnel. You're probably wondering how Olympia ended up in the "forbidden zone." This question has been troubling me too. Motyl explained to me that yes, it's possible to leave their tunnel (Aha! Every town tries to have a separate exit to the "forbidden zone." Unfortunately, not all of them have this option, due to their location), but you have to be well-equipped. She dressed in a transparent suit (thanks to which I knew what she looked like) and took a bag with provisions and a few tools.

• Life isn't limited to Mars. Researchers have made contact with beings inhabiting the planets: Venus, Saturn, Jupiter, and a few others, but I couldn't remember their names.

In any case, after the procedure was performed really well (it was worth sitting still for almost an hour), we left the restroom and headed for the living room. And there... OH! There sat the president himself... (OluS, the name of the town) drinking Martian coffee. As soon as he saw me, he stood up, shook my hand, and said,

"Welcome to the planet called Mars."

Which, of course, I had already noticed. After all, I don't travel to planets often enough to forget the name of the one I'm currently on. But of course I didn't say that. Instead, I managed to choke out equally nonsensical sentences:

"Good morning. It's nice to meet you too. My name is Julia Wais, I'm Polish, and I came here from Earth."

Well... I didn't boast about my statement either, because I suspect the president knew it. It's good that at least I didn't say something like the opening lines of "The Children of Bullerbyn": "My name is Lisa. I'm 7 years old. I'm a girl, I think that's immediately obvious from my name." Well... then I would have looked foolish. But of course, I have nothing against Astrid Lingren. I even remember enjoying reading her books as a child. Well... after all, she wrote for children, and I'm not exactly one of them, am I? Never mind.

After meeting the president, I learned that there were many rockets on Mars (already completed) and that I could return to Earth at any time. Of course, he would prefer me to stay on this planet. He assured me that he would make sure my stay here was very pleasant and memorable.

After that, nothing interesting happened, except that a reporter barged into Olimpia's house and desperately wanted to interview me and take some photos. At first, I was speechless, but then... I agreed. Motyl's parents somewhat discouraged me from the idea, but she herself wanted to pursue a career as a makeup artist, applying makeup to visitors from another planet. In short, she wanted to show off her skills to all the Martians.

In any case, I had a small photoshoot (because we didn't consent to a larger one, meaning me and my temporary guardians, Motyl's parents) and an interview for the "Afcia" newspaper, which went something like this:

Afcia – How did you come to come to our planet?

Me – My friend and I won tickets to a concert of a well-known band called "Black Eyed Peas," and that's why we left the country. We stayed in an exclusive hotel in Houston. A few hours before the concert, I dozed off. Unfortunately for me, there was a full moon, and I'm a sleepwalker. I'm so lucky I got into a rocket and flew to Mars with Dot.

Exactly! Where is Dot? Oh my! I hope I don't misplace her, as I usually do. After all, I feel responsible for her. Maybe... I'll look for her later (I think I'm terrible, right?)

Afcia – That's a truly extraordinary story. Do you like it on Mars?

Me – Of course. Everyone's so nice to me. Well, maybe except for some people. However, I feel a little strange about all this fuss around me. It's pleasant in a way, but quite tiring. Maybe because I'm not used to it. But I must admit, your planet is quite similar to Earth. It makes me feel more confident here.

Afcia – That's nice of you, but I'd also like to know if all Earthlings look like you?

Me – Do you think they look disgusting? Heh heh. No, maybe it's not that bad. Some are prettier than me, but overall, we all look alike.

Afcia – It didn't even occur to me that you could be considered ugly.

Yeah... he was trying to suck up. He probably thought that if he told me the truth about me, I'd give up on the rest of the interview.

Afcia – But our next question is: I assume you plan to leave our planet someday. When will that be?

Me – Probably in a few days. Hmm... Do you really want to get rid of me? Heh...

Afcia – No... I asked because some people would like to meet with you. And we'll have to plan everything. But... I'd like to know more...

And then the president and Motyl's parents, who were friends, stood up, very nervous, shouting:

"You won't learn anything more! There was an agreement that you would only ask Julka a few questions, and now... look! You probably wanted to interview her for a dozen or so questions. No... we won't allow that anymore.

Heh, heh. So I found myself guardians. They're even more caring than my parents. Oh my... I didn't think the life of a star was so hard ;), and Martians so burdensome."

Later, they took a few photos of me, which looked something like this:

• with the president,

• with Motyl's parents,

• with Motyl,

• with the Afcia newspaper editorial office,

• alone in front of some important monument in their city (sorry, but I don't remember the name—things like that don't stick in my head),

• in front of the tunnel in the spacesuit

, • and next to my old rocket.

While we were taking the photo by the rocket, I tried to contact the Earthlings, but unfortunately, it turned out the device was broken, and I couldn't strike up a conversation.

After that, there was only one thing left for me. Maybe it's the most enjoyable thing in the lives of famous people, but after all that, I was simply exhausted. But hey, I didn't come to Mars to relax, right? So I pulled myself together and went to face the crowds of fans. And then... Oh my! They all jumped at me. Literally. They were like starving dogs that had seen a piece of meat. I was so scared of them that I... fainted.

Now I'm sitting in a hospital bed, describing my difficult life. Because that's exactly what it is. And you have to admit

, I'm right about that. Oh, the nurse just came in and told me not to worry about it all. If I don't want to meet my fans, no one will force me.

Oh! I can hear them shouting. Hey! I mean, they're EVERYWHERE! Even right here—right under the window of my hospital room! Oh my! I have no strength left. I feel like... Samantha Madison! For the uninitiated, here's a few words of explanation: Sam Madison is the main character in Meg Cabot's book "America's Girl." Her life also changed very suddenly and drastically. Only... she saved the life of the President of the United States, and I... Well... she could use me here now to save someone's life too. Only this time, it's Julia Wais's!

Hey! They're shouting... my name and... apologizing. Yes... THEY'RE APOLOGIZING. Maybe... I'll go to the window and... wave (just like Samantha) and... smile at them. Let them know I forgive them and I'm no longer mad at them. I don't want to burden their consciences too much...

I'm standing by the window, smiling, and they're yelling at me to come down and start signing autographs. I don't know if I'll do it.

The nurse just told me that they, the fans, had specially prepared a chair and a desk for me, along with a stack of paper and a few pens. They even lined up. Well... I know what it's like to REALLY want someone's autograph. Maybe... I'll go down and... at least show myself to them. But I don't know what's so special about me that... they want to see me at all costs. Could it be that my being a sleepwalker is so valuable to them? Because that's how I ended up here.

Well, okay, I'm falling for a MOMENT.

Much, much later, Olympia's room

. Phew! I'm exhausted. Whoever heard of taking advantage of a fifteen-year-old girl like that. And from another planet, too!

I'll try to describe everything before I fall asleep.

Coming downstairs, I felt like my head was about to burst. It was so loud! And the scariest thing is, throughout the entire time I spent with these people (about a few hours), I didn't stop feeling that way.

As soon as... THEY saw me, their first instinct was to pounce on me, but they immediately stopped themselves. Instead, they showed me a chair and... oh my!... The line was endless! Literally! ENDLESS!!!

I thought I was going to faint again, but luckily I held on.

I collapsed into the chair and... grabbed the first pen I found.

At first, the "fans" tried to talk to me a bit, but... after the first twenty, I ordered everyone to write down their autographs (i.e., whether they wanted, for example, "For dear Ania, warmest regards..." or maybe "For handsome Filip, all the best...", because believe me, some people had such wishes), and I would just sign them with my name.

And even that would have worked if I hadn't constantly heard some manufacturers wanting me to advertise their products. Well... they would probably have shouted all these things in my ear as much as they could. But luckily, I was surrounded by a crowd of security guards.

And do you know what Martians drive? They have these clunky, tiny cars that fly. You've probably seen the cartoon... (OluS, fill in the title). They had similar vehicles there, only the ones on Mars are even cooler.

And their houses are also a bit like the ones in the cartoon, only cooler.

Anyway, it took me VERY LONG to sign those autographs. My hand hurts now from all that "Julia Wais."

And can you imagine what happened when I announced that I was so sorry to everyone, but I couldn't keep signing. Then no one was standing in line anymore. Everyone started shouting over each other. I could hear voices everywhere shouting, "Me again! Only me! PLEASE!" And the producers got angry and shouted too, only something different: "Julia!..........OluS."

And me? What was I supposed to do? I wasted a few hours anyway! I would have preferred to spend them chatting with Olimpia. After all, she was the one I cared about most. She was the one who found me first, took me in, let me eat something other than pills, and let me use her shower. And on top of all that, she was truly understanding and kind to me. It's a shame she doesn't live on Earth, in Poland. We could become really great friends then. Well, I really regret it. I'll have to leave her soon, and yet I don't dedicate my free time to her.

Mmm... all this has made me really sad. It's a shame I don't have a book here. I could (and even would) talk to Butterfly. But unfortunately, she's gone to take a shower now. She'll come back later with a stack of delicious Martian sandwiches.

I have an idea! I'll read my diary!

After a while,

OH NO!!! I FORGOT ABOUT THE DOT! I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE SHE COULD BE NOW! WHAT IF SOMETHING HAPPENED TO HER???!!! I WILL NEVER FORGIVE BOTH OF US FOR THIS! I HAVE TO TELL OLYMPIA ABOUT THIS!

After some unspecified time, late, in Olympus's room,

Oh! This day has been terribly tiring! I have no energy left for anything. Well... maybe just to write in my diary.

After my last message, I quickly ran out of Butterfly's room and... bumped into Olympia. She was coming out of the bathroom. I started screaming that something terrible had happened. I was so nervous I couldn't utter a coherent sentence. However, seeing the anxiety on Olympia's face, I managed to say what I wanted to say.

When I finished speaking, Butterfly breathed a sigh of relief. Seeing her uncertain but sincere smile, I asked if she might know anything about Dot's disappearance. And you know what? Butterfly simply took my hand and... led me to a room. On the way there, he explained that in her town, many people have pets, which is why "house elves" usually have their own room. Her pet also has its own room.

I was about to ask what this had to do with my Dot when Olimpia opened the door to a room and... my heart dropped! I SAW DOT! Oh my! I was so happy when I saw her. She sat there, so tiny, so defenseless, looking at me with those beautiful eyes of hers.

Olimpia explained that it was her pet's room. She added that fortunately, while I was busy with my career on Mars, she hadn't forgotten about Dot and was taking care of her. Then I threw myself into her arms and tearfully apologized for my behavior. I also told her that I really didn't mean for it to turn out this way, that I liked her very much and was glad to have such a wonderful friend. Olimpia also assured me of her positive feelings for me.

It seemed that nothing could surprise me that day, but I guess I'd forgotten that I was Julia Wais, and that would have been impossible.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a monster appeared in front of me. Literally. Maybe it wasn't huge like a dragon (actually, it was tiny), but I was still terrified and let out some undefined, very high-pitched sounds (which isn't typical of me, as I have a very deep voice. Maybe not bass, but sometimes I wonder if I haven't undergone a mutation).

Dot was so frightened (probably by my squeal) that she forgot about her species and acted like a dog, hiding under a couch and putting her paws over her eyes.

Olimpia was frightened too, but probably because of my screaming, because when she decided that pleading wouldn't silence me (she kept repeating, "Julka! Calm down! Be quiet for a moment, or you'll wake everyone up!"), she closed my mouth with her hand. And thus muffled the "thing" I'd been making for almost a minute. However, I only finally fell silent when I started to run out of breath.

Then Olimpia said,

"I'm so sorry, Julka, if I caused you to have a heart attack, for example, but it just so happens that he's my pet."

"Ttoo...yyy... he's t... pretty... little animal?! " I stammered. I couldn't believe that something with purple fur, the shape of a monkey, and the horns of a rhinoceros could be SO cute, as Olimpia put it. And do you know what she called him? Miluś. Simply Miluś. He thinks it suits him perfectly. Ha! Without a doubt.

" "Yes. 'That thing' is my beloved Miluś. And it just so happens that you probably offended him. See that sad face he's making? What will I do if he gets depressed? I'll probably spend another day assuring him that the person who's causing his despair doesn't understand beauty or originality. Oh my! I have a life!"

"Oh my! I'm sorry, Butterfly. I really didn't mean to cause you any trouble. I just didn't think it was this Sweetie." Honestly, I felt a little sorry for Olympia and sorry for my idiotic behavior. Actually, maybe this Sweetie was sad because of my awful and inappropriate behavior. After all, it's not his fault how he looks, right? But... it was my reflex. How could I have known it was Butterfly's beloved pet? I guess... my defense strategy kicked in.

"Butterfly?" Olympia didn't know it was her new nickname.

"Oh! I forgot to tell you. Butterfly is your new nickname, which I came up with in your room. Well, with all these interviews and photoshoots, I forgot to tell you that your room is AWFUL. I feel like I'm in a prince's chamber there."

Olympia smiled at me gratefully. She was about to say something, but she didn't have the time because Butterfly's parents ran into Miluś's room and asked what had happened to make me scream so loudly. While Olimpia explained the situation to my mom, I wondered why my friend's parents hadn't arrived until some time after I'd finished screaming. I was starting to think maybe Martians were just having a late start when I noticed the uneven buttons on Butterfly's mom's blouse. However, Martians are no different from Earthlings in some ways.

Olimpia's dad must have noticed my glance at the blouse and smiled, because he said,

"My wife and I were just in the garden, digging up the flowers.

Yeah... I'll believe him. I wonder how long it's been since people dig up the flowers in the middle of the night."

But before I could say anything, I heard... the wail of sirens (at least that's what I'd call them on Earth). I didn't know (or maybe it didn't occur to me) that there were ambulances, police cars, and so on on Mars.

I heard the howling getting louder and waited for the vehicle to pass and the howling to subside. But instead, something completely different happened. Something I never would have imagined in my dreams.

Suddenly, I felt icy water pouring down on me from all directions. Literally. I had no idea what had happened; my thoughts were swirling wildly, and my body was covered with goosebumps. But despite all this, one thought lingered in my mind. A very disturbing one. A thought that foreshadowed trouble. And it was because of me.

I probably would have remained standing in one place, staring at my goosebumps, if it weren't for someone's hand. It was Olympia's dad who pulled me toward the door. In his other hand, he held Dot.

As we ran through the house, I saw the same situation that had happened in Miluś's room repeat itself in every room and hallway.

I also saw that in front of me and Olimpia's father, her mother was running with Miluś and Butterfly.

And so, a moment later, we all found ourselves soaked to the skin in front of the house. And you know what? My fears were confirmed. I saw the fire department activating all the building's safety systems one by one. They wanted water pouring into every room (that's the job of Martian firefighters).

Olympia's dad ran, leaving a wet rope of water behind him, to the head fireman and they began to explain the situation. At one point, all efforts were abandoned and the showers stopped pouring hot water.

When I heard the story I'm about to tell, I almost fainted. I felt like Anne Shirley, who also had terrible luck.

Remember how I screamed at the sight of Miluś, who doesn't seem so scary anymore? Exactly. I'm so unlucky!

Apparently, many people heard me – even the firefighters. And they were the ones who thought the fire alarm had gone off and... came to put out the fire. Hmm... after all, I'm Julka Wais, right? Gosh... I've had enough of this Mars. I'M FEELING OUT OF MY SIDES!

I feel like a third wheel here, but I can't leave because:

• I don't have a rocket yet,

• I'm terribly tired,

• I just want to talk to Olympia as a friend,

• I can't leave Butterfly's parents now after everything I've done to them. I guess I'll have to make up for it somehow. Oh my! Just don't cause any more damage, or I'll have to spend the rest of my already sad life here. Well... and I'll feel like some kind of slave, and I don't think I can take that anymore.

I'm really sorry about Olympia's parents. They have a right to be angry with me because:

• I flew down from Earth so suddenly and unexpectedly and, as if nothing had happened, moved into their beautiful, modern house,

• I bothered them with all these things: journalists, the president, photographers, fans,

• at one point I fainted and they had to take me to the hospital in their cute little car,

• they had to carry my Dot around all day,

• I ruined their romantic evening with my screaming,

• with that same scream I called the fire department,

• their entire apartment flooded, and they lost most of their intoxicating and beautiful night because they had to clean it up.

As you can see, they have many reasons to throw me out of their house and not worry about what happens to some unlucky Earthling. But they didn't. I wonder why. Maybe... they have good hearts, are very sensitive, and are afraid of the pangs of conscience that would probably haunt them for the rest of their lives. I don't know. I can only guess.

I don't think I'll be thinking and writing all night, because I'm just about to fall asleep. Aha! You know it's dawn already? I've had enough! I want to get some sleep and I don't intend to get up in an hour and sign meaningless notes. So I'm going to bed.

Good night.

September 2, 2005, Butterfly's Room

Can you imagine how nice it would be to sit at a school desk right now and diligently learn to recite the invocations of "Pan Tadeusz"? Yeah... a dream. Hmm... I have no doubt at all that it would be enjoyable to study Polish, but... I think I'd go crazy cramming English words.

Maybe things aren't so bad on Mars. It would definitely be more interesting if it weren't for... OH! Here comes my nightmare! I hear their voices. The fans are coming. Dear Mother!

After some unspecified time

in a Martian supermarket

, Oh! What a wonderful friend I have, with whom I spent such a lovely day.

But perhaps I'll start telling you everything step by step.

Can you imagine my face as I sat there, exhausted and worn out by my terrible life, writing in my diary with all my remaining strength? I have no idea what a mess I must have been, but I know it was enough to convince Olimpia. As you already know, I was sitting alone on Butterfly's bed when suddenly Olimpia cautiously entered the room. She simply whispered, "I have an idea," and... dragged me to her bathroom. There, she shoved some clothes into my hand and told me to change into them. She herself entered the shower stall with similar clothes.

I started examining the... rags I held in my hands. Finally, I couldn't help myself and burst out laughing at the thought of how I would look. I was about to ask Olimpia where she'd gotten "that thing," but... I stopped myself. I decided that since I wasn't on Earth and didn't have to worry about my friends' opinions, I could at least joke with Butterfly in a slightly... different outfit.

I started with a checkered shirt with short sleeves. Then I moved on to... oversized, paint-smeared dungarees. I had to roll up the legs to avoid falling over. Finally, I put on red and yellow sneakers. And in that outfit, I stood in front of the mirror. At the sight of myself, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. I thought I would collapse. But it was nothing compared to what I saw a few seconds later. Olimpia emerged from the shower, but she seemed transformed. She wasn't wearing full makeup, and her nails weren't adorned with French manicures. Instead, a gray mustache had sprouted under her nose, and instead of pretty, curly, blonde locks with blue and pink streaks, her head was... bald. BALD, and gray locks of hair protruded from behind the ears.

At first, I was terrified. I thought Olimpia had vanished, replaced by some crazy fan. I was about to run and call for help when I heard a voice emanating from the human being standing in front of me. I would have recognized it even on the other side of the world (or rather, the universe, considering my current circumstances). It was Olimpia's—I had no doubt about it.

She was wearing torn pants, a red sweatshirt, and green sneakers. No wonder I didn't recognize her.

Seeing my expression, Olimpia started laughing loudly. When she got over it, she explained that we'd disguised ourselves so no one would recognize us. She'd figured we'd take her neighbor's dog for a walk, go to the movies, or get pizza, and yet no one would run after us asking for autographs. I agreed, saying she had planned it all well, but... they probably wouldn't let us in anywhere in that outfit. Especially not to a pizzeria or a movie theater. To which Olimpia gave me a cryptic, "Relax. Everything's under control," and then turned her attention to my face. As she pinned my goatee and my lush, spiky hair into place, I wondered what my wonderful little butterfly was up to. I tried to find out, but Olimpia pretended not to hear my persistent questions.

When she was finished, she threw all my makeup into my backpack (already stuffed) and handed me a pair of dark, half-face sunglasses. She told me to put them on, then not to say a word, just follow her.

What was I supposed to do? I shook her hand (we looked rather funny – two grandfathers: one with a goatee, the other with a gray mustache, holding hands) and we set off down the dark and gloomy hallway (you can probably guess that this hallway wasn't so scary after all. In fact, it was well-lit. I often make things up a bit when writing anything – as you've probably noticed, I get carried away by my emotions. Well... that's just how I am. ).

Anyway, when we came out of the bathroom, we came face to face with... Butterfly's parents.

Wow! I thought we were in trouble! I decided to rely on Olimpia. After all, they were her parents, right?

And Olimpia, as if nothing had happened, whispered to her parents that we'd be back in the evening. And her mom acted as if we were wearing jeans and a sweatshirt. She simply reminded us to take care of ourselves.

Walking down the hall, Motyl explained to me that he had planned everything in advance with his parents and that it wasn't that difficult.

We slipped out of the house through the back passage and... (surprisingly!) no one noticed us. I considered it a miracle and was about to thank Him for this miraculous rescue when Olimpia dragged me to the park. There, at a stand, she bought two Martian hamburgers, fries, and a can of Coke for herself and a bottle of mineral water for me. I believe people should ONLY eat healthy foods. I never eat things like hamburgers or hot dogs. This time, I preferred to order a Martian salad, but Olimpia absolutely FORCED me to have one. She claimed I'd never tasted anything so good in my life. Well, it's true. Martian fast food (how did they spell it later?) is infinitely better than Earth's.

But I refused the Coke!

And so, stocked up with provisions, we headed for the benches next to a fountain. And there, devouring everything on our trays, we began to talk about our lives and our views on... the universe.

Olimpia thinks boys are too primitive creatures to care about. She doesn't believe in true love between a man and a woman. Yes, she believes parental love exists, but... she doesn't believe in falling in love.

Personally, I disagree. Perhaps... if I weren't so madly in love with David, I would support some of her views.

But as you already know, I have an undying love for a certain Earthling. I'm certain he's meant for me. He may not realize it yet, but one lucky day he'll understand how he truly feels about me and who he wants to spend the rest of his life with.

When that wonderful moment comes and he understands what he should have known since he met me, he'll approach me and propose a romantic candlelight dinner. Of course, I'll pretend to think deeply (because, after all, a woman should be not only romantic, but also sensitive) and after long, feigned hesitation, I'll agree.

At this wonderful dinner, David will confess his love to me until the graveside and... we'll live happily ever after.

But of course, I'll tell him about my feelings only at the wedding. How could it be otherwise!

Oh! How beautiful and romantic! As you've already noticed, I've planned everything. I even know what kind of wedding dress I'd like. But... maybe I'll tell you about that another time.

Honestly, on some issues concerning boys, I agree with Olimpia, for example:

• boys aren't romantic enough (some are)

• they spend too much time on sports, for example. Instead, they should devote it to us. (I fully support)

• (Ola, Alu, Ania, please write down your reservations about boys' behavior)

But okay. Let's leave them alone for a moment – ​​"But you can't just think about them! They'll start imagining things too much! There are more important things than them," Olimpia would say.

So, I'll tell you what happened today.

After we'd eaten everything we had and discussed all the details about the boys, Butterfly pulled me and said, "Let's go have some fun. It'll be a wild and unforgettable day."

I had no idea what Olimpia was talking about, but I obediently followed her. I decided there was no point in asking about the various details of my Martian's plans, because it would be pointless anyway.

When Olimpia stopped, I noticed we were at... a playground. A PLAYGROUND!!!

I haven't played in ages because I think I'm too old for it. I don't even remember when I abandoned my dolls and started "playing" with cosmetics.

In any case, my astonishment knew no bounds.

Olimpia, however, wasn't about to waste time wondering what the moms sitting on the benches, watching their little ones, would think.

She simply jumped onto the slide and shouted something like, "Zdzichu! Come on! This is really awesome!"

I thought I'd collapse. "Zdzichu! Yeah... I'll give her Zdzicha!" – that sentence haunted me.

But on the other hand, I was having a blast watching the overprotective moms' faces. I thought I'd faint when "Władek" (that's what I'd decided to call my new buddy – grandpa) slid down for the umpteenth time, and those moms gaped at him like he was some kind of crazy creature.

I know it's crazy, but I decided to take advantage of the opportunity and... jumped on the swing.

Although my beard, fluttering in the wind, blocked my view of the world... er... I mean, the universe, I still saw the mommies' disgusted expressions.

After a while, when I got tired of swinging, I got off the swing and decided to follow Olympia's example and headed to... the sandbox.

There, Olympia was waiting for me, probably planning to build a sandcastle and chat a bit.

However, I was interrupted in my encounter with Butterfly by some grandmother. Seriously. She approached me with... a blood-curdling smile (she was missing a few front teeth, and her lips were painted with some red goo—not the slightest resemblance to lip gloss or even lipstick).

Mascara dripped from her eyes, and eye shadow spread across her face.

She approached me with that smile and red claws, wearing... a grandmother's dress and... a straw hat.

I thought I'd faint from fear. Despite my utter astonishment, I was tormented by questions: "What could this Toothless Monster possibly want from me? I haven't done anything wrong! I was just swinging politely."

I didn't have time to escape to some safe place (by which I mean the sandbox, and in it, my personal Martian bodyguard – Władek), because the Toothless Monster said:

"Hi, honey," he winked. "I see we're keeping in shape. That's good, because... I like men like that."

I was speechless. Literally speechless. Not only could I not speak, but my legs gave out and I couldn't move.

I stood there, gaping at the old woman.

Seeing that I wasn't responding to her... ahem... flirtation, the Toothless Monster said:

"Well, I won't hide anything and tell you straight what I think of you." – I was so scared that instead of my lower limbs ending in two kayaks, I felt cotton. My legs simply turned to jelly. But the old lady clearly didn't notice, because she continued her honest confession, "I like you." "Hold me!" "Well... and that's why I'd like to go on a date with you."

Now that was completely over the top. I sat down in shock. Right where I was standing, of course – in an anthill. Only then, I had no idea. I just sat there and stared at her.

At one point in that awful silence, something pinched me (an ant) ​​and I let out a scream – "OUCH!"

Grandma must have been a bit deaf (or pretending to be), because she exclaimed with delight,

"Oh! You really agree?!

And without waiting for my answer, she added,

"That's wonderful!"

Then she swept me up into her arms and planted a disgustingly juicy kiss on my cheek (ugh!) and continued screaming across the playground so that all the mommies and Olimpia could hear her:

"Oh, honey!" "What does she think she's thinking?! I'll make you dinner, lunch, well... and then breakfast," and she winked at me knowingly, "like you've never had before. For my little darling, I'm willing to make sacrifices."

And then something terrible hit me: she wanted to sleep with me. SLEEP WITH ME!!!

Oh, dear Mother!

Even if she managed to get me into bed, she'd see that I was... well... a woman. And in that case, there's no telling what that Toothless Monster would want to do to me.

Fortunately, none other than... Władzio, my irreplaceable friend and companion, came to my rescue.

He approached us (apparently calmly) and... put his arm around my waist. No, no... I'd never had such luck before. Yes, I'm joking now, but I wasn't exactly laughing before. I stood there staring at the two women, who were desperately trying to... ahem... trip me up.

But I didn't say anything, because I'd decided to put my life in Olimpia's good hands (meaning, trust her). I hoped she was a good friend and wouldn't let me hand over this defenseless "Zdzich" to some monster.

But after a few seconds of my precious life (which could end at any moment), I concluded that Butterfly had gone mad. Oh (I snapped my fingers)! Just like that.

Because Olimpia did the strangest thing possible. The thing I never expected her to do. Namely, she kissed.

She kissed.

Luckily, only on the cheek. But still.

Toothless Grandma was furious. And she was furious. She ordered Olympia:

"Leave my boyfriend alone! What are you even thinking? Weren't you taught not to trespass on someone else's territory? It just so happens that I was here first!

What does she think she's thinking?! A boyfriend! Yeah... I'll give her a boyfriend! Over my dead body!!!

However, Olympia didn't lose her cool and didn't waste time worrying about the comments of some toothless creature. She explained to her briefly and concisely that we were gay. GAY!!! Well... now I don't know how to describe the feelings swirling inside me. Maybe it would be best if I kept silent about Olympia's last statement. Yeah... I think that would be best.

Anyway, Grandma got angry. And not in a joking way.

The moms, who had been listening to our conversation with interest, began exchanging opinions in indignant whispers.

The Toothless Monster came even closer to me (our noses were almost touching) and asked me if it was true. I mean, That Władzio and I are gay.

While I was confused and wondering what to say, I heard Butterfly's whispering voice. She hissed that it was for my own good.

Honestly, I DREAM of being free from this monster, so with a heavy heart (because it's an insult to my gender to pretend to be gay, even if it's for your own good), I uttered a garbled sentence:

"Ahem... mmhm... err," and finished hesitantly, "yeah...

I thought the world had ended. I felt a cold, rough hand on my face. I was slapped. By Toothless Grandma, of course.

And a moment later, I heard, "Pervert," and retreating footsteps in... high heels. (By the way, I don't know how long toothless monsters have been wearing high heels. But I guess that's none of my business.)

I was utterly outraged by the behavior of this defenseless (ha! Who would have thought!) old woman. "Pervert?! PERVERT?! What are you even thinking, Toothless Old Woman!" I wanted to scream, but I stopped myself at the last second. If I said something like that, everything would get out and the Toothless Monster would catch up with me and then drag me into his trap (more precisely, force me into bed). And I had absolutely no desire for that!

I looked at Olympus. She was clearly enjoying the whole situation. She was smiling as if unaware of the implications. She just stood there and smiled, and after a moment, she went all out and started laughing very loudly.

I didn't need to see the mommies' expressions. I just had to imagine their faces, which were probably filled with disgust and indignation.

However, despite all the thoughts swirling in my head, I decided to thank Olimpia for perhaps not so much saving my life as my virginity.

But I forgot that I was Julka Wais, and something had to get in the way of what I had planned. This time, it was some creatures that caused... (oh my!) a burning, itching, and stinging sensation around my... butt.

Yeah... you can laugh at me, etc., but I felt truly awful. I had no idea what had happened. For a moment, I thought I'd caught some Martian disease that particularly favored... the butts of innocent creatures.

So I started jumping like crazy, which lowered my already low ratings (with the mommies, of course). With each passing minute, I was making them even more "delighted" in me.

Olimpia had no idea what to do. She thought, thought, thought... But unfortunately, it was to no avail.

After a while, when I started sliding down the slide in hopes of getting rid of the terrible pain (which, of course, had no effect), Olimpia exclaimed in a voice as if she'd discovered a cure for cancer: "Hey! You're covered in ants!"

When I heard Olimpia's words, I felt like Telimena. Well... at least she had Tadeusz with her, and I didn't have that much.

Or so I thought.

After Motyl realized that the ants were the cause of my behavior, he understood that we couldn't "play" on the playground anymore because we were making a fool of ourselves. So he took my hand, smiled apologetically at the mommies (which, of course, they didn't notice—at least they did), and dragged me out of that awful place.

Once we were on the street, he asked me to act as if nothing had happened to me. "Just for a moment," he added.

I promised her I'd see what I could do, but in reality, not only was my butt itching terribly, but my back was already covered in that crap.

On the way to the pizzeria (don't ask me why we were going there. It was, as usual, Olympia's idea), I PRAYED that no one would recognize me as an alien from another planet. Because then they'd start imagining that Earthlings are God knows what. But that's not true! It just so happens that I'm the only one who's so "successful," and I'm the only one who has such bad luck. The others (with a few minor exceptions) are pretty normal.

But anyway, when we entered the pizzeria, people started staring at us. They had several reasons for this:

• my ants, which could have emerged from... my butt at any moment,

• our disguise – after all, we were old folks and shouldn't have appeared in, say, a pizzeria dressed like that,

• my goatee could have slipped off, and then people would have realized we were frauds,

• they could have recognized me as an Earthling,

• girls, fill in the blanks

. To this day, I don't know what they meant, and I don't think anyone will ever enlighten me on this matter.

Olimpia, despite all the ironic glances, placed the order and followed me to the bathroom. There, she played Tadeusz and helped me pull out the ants. Of course, not the ones that had gotten into my pants. What's that, isn't it? No exaggeration. Fortunately, she wasn't forced to.

Once I'd pulled out the last ant (don't ask me where), we washed our hands (I'm hypersensitive about hygiene) and headed to our table. There, a fragrant and still hot pizza (insert name) was waiting for us. When I smelled that wonderful aroma, I realized how hungry I was. Honestly, we rushed to the table. We devoured the pizza in a flash. Not a crumb was left. Then we ordered another one, and then... I don't know how many there were in total. I didn't count because I was too busy devouring what was on my plate.

Once we'd filled our stomachs, Olimpia started searching for her wallet. Searching and searching... After a moment, she started wondering where she could have put it. And suddenly, she got terribly scared. She confessed that the wallet was in the pocket of her hoodie, and she'd left her in... the sandbox.

I had no idea what to do. I knew it would be too good to just eat the pizza peacefully, pay for it, and go for a walk, say. But then I wouldn't be called Julia Wais, would I? Never mind.

After a terrible moment of silence, Olimpia had an idea (as usual). She dragged me to the door of the men's bathroom. She said we had to get to the women's restroom at all costs. I didn't even ask why, because I knew I wouldn't change anything.

Tiptoeing quietly, we somehow made it (probably unnoticed) to the women's restroom. There, we quickly hid in a stall and began whispering to each other. Olimpia handed me some clothes and told me to change into them.

"Julia Wais! We have to disguise ourselves because we have no other choice. They're just waiting to catch us and throw us behind bars. Well... of course, they can't do anything to us, because eventually it will turn out we're underage. But my parents might get in trouble because of us. So, are we disguising ourselves?"

I agreed, but only because I realize how much pain Motyl's parents have suffered because of me. I've already done enough mischief on Mars, haven't I? Maybe it's time to get out of here? What do you think? Maybe I'll think about it later, when everything settles down.

Once we were changed into:

Me Butterfly

Shoes Light blue heels Dark green boots

Skirt Light blue mini Dark green mini

Blouse Light pink blouse with collar Bright yellow blouse with suspenders

Accessories Light blue blazer, blue handbag, silver: huge hoop earrings, ring, bracelet, cross, Huge hoop earrings that look gold, dark green handbag, gold: ring, bracelet, cross,

Wig

Blonde curls similar to the main character in "Legally Blonde" Afro similar to the hairstyle Beyoncé had in one of her movies

Makeup

Delicate, pretty Delicate, pretty

Nails Light blue Gold

Don't ask me where Olimpia got all this stuff—I really don't know. I tried to find out, but she brushed me off with a mysterious, "I have my sources." Well, for now, I'll have to settle for this.

Dressed up like this, we confidently walked out of the bathroom (well... maybe Olimpia did. I, on the other hand, felt awkward in heels. I don't know how anyone could walk in them. I much prefer my combat boots and sneakers. But apparently no one cares about my opinion, because I had to somehow survive these awful moments.)

As we walked through the room, everyone was staring at us. Only this time, the looks weren't full of contempt, but quite the opposite – admiration. I felt like every man in the room wanted to ask us out. But of course, no one had the courage. They stood or sat at a distance from us and... admired. Even all the women sat and stared at us with their painted, bulging eyes.

Anyway, while everyone was staring at us, we stepped out into the street (smiling at everyone around us) and breathed a sigh of relief. But in case of an accident (which happens to us all the time), we quickly headed towards the playground.

I have no idea how much time you can spend watching children play nicely. But apparently, you can't be bored during such an... interesting activity. A perfect example illustrating what I'm talking about is... moms. Moms who were excitedly discussing some two old men – Zdzich and Władek. We (Olimpia and I) obviously had no idea what the women sitting in front of us were talking about. I suppose you don't know about this tonight, do you?

But what else were we supposed to do but pretend we weren't affected by what these women were talking about?

We simply headed for the sandbox to find Olimpia's wallet.

And suddenly, terrified, I was paralyzed. Before my eyes appeared... the Toothless Monster. The Toothless Monster and his new victim. A blind old man with a cane. Hmm... maybe it was for the best that he couldn't see the face of the person standing in front of him, or he would have probably had a heart attack.

As you already know, I stood and stared at the Toothless Monster flirting with the Helpless Old Man. As Grandma whispered sweet nothings into the ear of the old man standing before me, he smiled flirtatiously at her. I felt so sorry for him! The poor, blind, old man had fallen into the trap of this terrible woman. I decided to at least warn him of the dangers lurking before him.

When I shared my intentions with Olympia, she didn't seem thrilled. She believed that all men were the same and that they weren't worth helping. They wouldn't return the favor anyway.

But I approached the couple anyway. I excused myself for a moment to the old woman (fortunately, she didn't recognize me) and took the Helpless Old Man aside. I explained to him how terrible the woman he was associating with was and warned him of the consequences of rash actions.

At my honest confession, the old man looked at the tree next to me and exclaimed, "Go away, you jealous bastard! You probably have a thing for me too. But you remembered that a little too late—I'm already busy. It just so happens that an old man sometimes wants to have fun too." And he swung his hand at the tree. Realizing he hadn't hit me, he walked away, leaving me stunned in the middle of the playground. I

COULDN'T BELIEVE HIS NAIVETEETH!!!

But I didn't have time to think it all through because our moms (meaning me and Olimpia) called us over. They wanted to talk to us.

But before we reached their bench, Motyl triumphantly whispered in my ear, "I told you so." Of course, he was referring to the guys, specifically the old man and his awful behavior. But despite everything, I still felt sorry for him. He didn't know what he was getting himself into yet.

When we obediently approached, we heard something truly shocking. These women had heard my entire conversation with my grandfather. First, they started comforting me (as if I were worried about something. Well... maybe just a little.), and then they started giving me advice like, "Men are all the same and you shouldn't pay attention to them." Yeah... I think all the Martian women complain about the opposite sex. I don't know on what basis they dare claim that it's not worth looking for "the one." What, that I might never find him?! Well, my dears, I don't have to look for HIM anymore! I've already FOUND HIM! Of course, when I say this, I'm referring to David.

But... if they really think men suck (based on conversations with them, I can tell what they think about boys—of all ages), then why are they sitting on the playground now? To watch their kids, of course. And where do they get them? So do boys really score so low?

But that wasn't what shocked and surprised me the most. Olimpia probably wasn't thrilled either when she heard the story about... two grandfathers – Zdzich and Władek. I thought I'd faint when the moms started shouting over each other. They were yelling that there were two elderly flirts here, sliding, swinging, and playing in the sandbox. After they finished playing with children, they decided to "jump ahead a few years" and started flirting with this poor (!) old woman. Once one of them had somehow persuaded her to meet him, the other one stepped in. He announced that he and his friend were gay, and to prove his point, he KISSED Władek. This, of course, drove the poor woman to the brink of despair, as she slapped one of them and left.

By telling us this... very familiar story, the moms made it clear they were outraged by the behavior of these old men. We, on the other hand, were both surprised and amused by it all. But we didn't say anything. We simply politely agreed with the gossips. Then we apologized to the esteemed ladies and left the playground.

When we rounded the corner, we burst into loud, uncontrollable laughter. We didn't mind that people passing by looked at us with:

• amusement,

• disgust,

• sympathy,

• (insert something... please...)

because, after all, no one recognized us in costumes like "Legally Blonde" and (insert the title of a Beyoncé movie). At most, they'd think some girls had lost their minds and... move on.

Anyway, as we passed the pizzeria where we'd eaten pizza earlier (back when we were Władek and Zdzichu), we heard more complaints about two old men. This time, people were wondering how on earth "we" had managed to get out of the building without paying the bill. They were having such heated and loud conversations about it that we could still hear them when we got to the cinema.

Speaking of cinemas, we saw some amazing comedies there. One was like "Shrek" and the other "Say Yes." They also danced so well in it.

But let me describe the cinema's appearance, which was 100 times cooler than cinemas on Earth. The cinema had a really interesting decor. OluS, now it's your turn – write something truly awesome!!!

After watching two screenings and devouring a few bags of popcorn, it was time for... shopping!

At first, I wasn't thrilled with the idea. Because how am I supposed to buy myself some cool pants when I don't have any Martian money on me? Hmm... but where exactly was I supposed to get them?

Anyway, Olimpia guessed what I meant and said I had another crazy idea for getting some HONEST helmets for me. I had no other choice, so I trusted her. Motyl led me to (what was it called? OluS!) a kind of "Lotto." But the rules were different. Everyone submitted their ticket individually, and if they:

• matched one number (marked 13 out of 50), they got 1 (OluS name)

• two – 2 coins

• three – 3 coins

• four – 5 coins • five

– 7

coins • six – 10 coins

• seven – 15 coins

• eight – 20 coins

• nine – 25 coins •

ten –

35 coins • eleven – 50 coins

• twelve – 75 coins

• thirteen – 100 coins

Of course, the Martians have slightly different numbers, but I can't remember them. And that's why I converted them to Polish numbers. Gotta make life easier, right?

Each ticket cost 3 coins (cool name, by the way, right?). Of course, I didn't even get involved in this "honest money-making." Olimpia was constantly checking off something, paying, or collecting her money. Meanwhile, I sat quietly and observed the Martians.

Here are some of them:

Gender Age Appearance Clothing Behavior Distinguishing marks My rating

A woman around 17, about 1.70m tall; platinum blonde with green eyes and... large breasts. She wore a tight red miniskirt, a bright yellow blouse with a low neckline, a red blazer, and red heels. Every now and then she'd hit on another guy or... just do something... er... DISGUSTING!!! (I have no idea—I haven't checked—if making out with someone—YUCK!—is pleasant, but it certainly doesn't look pretty). There were guys hanging around everywhere, a Marilyn Monroe-style mole drawn on with crayon, large breasts (she smashes passersby with them :D), shiny blonde hair. Gosh! She might have been pretty, but her behavior was downright disgusting to me. YUCK!

A man of 40 years old. He probably has 50% of his teeth, his belly almost reaches his knees (it's so terribly and disgustingly spilling out, his bald head glistens in the lamplight). Aaah... I didn't notice - he clearly didn't stand out much from the crowd. Not only did he have no waist, he gorged on some nasty things. But that wouldn't have bothered me at all, if it weren't for the fact that while arguing with some old lady, he would spit out pieces of food. They landed on my writing, of course, which I held in my hands and pretended to read. But of course I didn't, because I don't know Martian letters. The goats he picked out of his nose and the unpleasant smell surrounding him everywhere. Aha! There were empty beer bottles lying around him (disgusting!) I would never make someone like that of myself. I don't want to end up like him! He probably spent half his life living in the stench and with a bottle of beer. It's so awful! Or... maybe it's not his fault? Maybe It just so happened that he couldn't find any other way but to drown his sorrows in a glass of alcohol? I'll think about it.

Woman, maybe 17. A tiny thing was "sitting" on her nose—I assume they were Martian glasses, slim, straight, dark blonde hair. Dark brown trousers, a light beige corduroy coat, a flat cap matching the coat's color, and a nice sweater. Well... I don't have much basis for judging what kind of person this girl was, because she was constantly reading a book. But she seemed incredibly nice to me because she smiled at people and let older people through the door. The book, the inseparable smile, the warmth and kindness surrounding her everywhere. I think it would be nice to have someone like that close to me. This girl gave the impression of someone who loved the whole world. Seriously. Even though it was obvious she had her own world, I felt she was a good and friendly person. I know you shouldn't judge people at first glance, but for now I'm just describing my feelings about this girl. Martian women.

A child. About 4 years old. Blonde, blue eyes, a pretty face... Hey! But every child is beautiful! That's why I won't write anything more here. Pink dress, white shoes, and a bow. She was licking a lollipop and observing people. Now I know that only children are truly capable of observing others. Because adults don't have time for that. They're running around everywhere, doing things... They may be trying to do what's best for their children, but their lives are slipping through their fingers. Sometimes they don't realize that the most important thing in life is love. I'm not just talking about our "other half," but also about parental love, for God... After all, sometimes it's so little for us... A lollipop and the typical childlike vulnerability that surrounded her with a wide berth.

A small child is defenseless... Something that can be hurt very easily. Something that has no clue about the world and its dangers. That's why they need to be protected and watched over like the apple of your eye. I hope there's a bit of child in each of us... Because after all, every person is inherently good, right?

Hmm... I feel like I just observed not Martians, but Earthlings. Apparently, people are the same everywhere, regardless of country, origin, or... planet. I can find "good" and "bad" people everywhere. However, I assume that there's a shred of goodness in every person, even the bad ones.

Hey! I think I have a bit of Melanie Wilkes in me... Sigh... I'd like to be even a little like an angel walking the Earth.

Oh my! But I guess not everyone knows what I mean. Well, Melania was terribly good. She looked for even a shred of goodness in everyone. She even sympathized with the Yankee wives who killed her brother. She had a heart... I admire her...

She was so absorbed in spreading goodness that she didn't notice that Scarlett O'Hara, whom she treated like a sister, had a crush on her husband. Sigh... such people are one in a million. What a shame...

Oh! Olimpia just interrupted my thoughts. She's finished earning "honest" money and... oh my! She's got a bunch of banknotes in her hand! I didn't even notice when she got them. She thinks we can go shopping now. Yeah... easy for her to say. I feel a little silly using the "budget" Motyl earned. I don't want to take advantage of her!

Okay, but I'm off for now. I promise I'll tell you all about it later.

Oh my! Motyl is pretty pissed because he's telling me to get moving. He's threatening to leave me alone in the middle of town... But not this! Kisses—I'm off. Bye!

Tonight in Olimpia's room

. Phew! I'm so exhausted! And that's why I'll try to describe as quickly as possible what happened during the few hours we spent shopping.

First of all, Motyl wanted to buy some new clothes. So we visited what seemed like thousands of shops selling shoes, blouses, dresses, hats, wigs(!), pants, and even pajamas. It turned out that Olimpia was good at playing the "Lotto" (of course, it had a different name, but I can't remember all the Martian names. Not only do I not speak English properly, but I'll also have to memorize Martian words! Yes, of course – I'm off!).

I think Olimpia knows how to get money "honestly," because after all those "clothing" purchases, we still had some money left for souvenirs for my beloved... Earthlings!

Olimpia advised me to buy Michał some super-cool "Little IT" kit. She said that on Mars, almost all kids have one. Yeah... I wonder why pocketable computers aren't as common on Earth? Because that "Little IT Guy" kit looked like some kind of mini computer.

My mom, on the other hand, will get perfume that smells wonderful for a week and body lotion. But of course, it's not like the one on Earth. When you wash yourself with it, you feel like you're reborn. You don't feel like sleeping at all after a hard day's work. For example, if you're up all night cramming for an English test and in the morning you don't even feel like eating ice cream, all you have to do is apply this wonderful cream and... you can tackle the next set of vocabulary.

But seriously – I hope the leaflet that came with this cream wasn't lying and my mom never feels tired.

I decided that Olimpia would get a gift from me too. I know we don't talk to each other, but eventually our anger will subside, right? After all, we're friends!

I don't know if you've noticed yet that Olimpia loves all kinds of cosmetics, clothes, and shopping. And that's why I bought her a Martian makeup kit. You know, it's supposed to last for a few days.

My dad, on the other hand, is getting a car error detector from me. Just connect it to a vehicle for a moment, enter the make, and... wait for the monitor to display what's wrong with... let's say, a bus. Cool, right? It's a shame this equipment isn't common on Earth, because people would be less stressed.

My buddies from the band "Leaves of Clover" will also get some "little" (if you can call gifts bought on Mars that) gifts. But I don't have the energy to write about them anymore. I'm falling asleep...

September 3, 2005, Butterfly's bathroom in the morning

. For God's sake! I'm about to pass out! Seriously.

Can you imagine that after such a lovely day with Olympia, the president of her country dares to call my friend's parents to inform them that the rocket is ready. ROCKET!!! What are they even thinking?! When I complained and wanted to go home, no one bothered to send me there. And now? Now, my dears, I feel at home here in Poland, and I have no intention of leaving! I don't have the will or the strength to sit in a dark rocket waiting for someone to kindly speak to a poor, lonely girl.

And what about Olympia? Should I just leave her on this planet forever, never to see her again?! She's my FRIEND! No... no, I can't agree to that. Of course, I'll come home someday, but not now. Not today.

Ha! I'll give it to them! Do they want to get rid of me? No, I won't give up that easily! After all, I'm Julia Wais, right? I'll make such a mess of them that they'll remember me for the rest of their lives!!! Phew! It's all

finally

over! And for a moment I thought I couldn't take it anymore...

A lot has happened since my last post. When I wrote the last exclamation point, I quickly ran to Olimpia's room. There, throwing all my things into a bag, I told Motylek about this shocking story. My friend was as outraged as I was, so she ran to her parents in her pajamas. She wanted to explain to them that she DID NOT AGREE to my sudden departure. But she couldn't get anywhere, because although her parents assured them they were fine with me being in their house, they agreed that it was up to the president to decide when I left. Yeah... the president. They don't like meeting with the fire department!

And so we had a problem. Neither of us wanted to leave the other. But we had options. What were we supposed to do? We grabbed my bag of souvenirs, new clothes, shoes, and provisions for the trip and got into the car. There, huddled together (like little children), we were sad about my departure and talked about the wonderful time we had spent on Mars. We wondered if we had any chance of meeting again. But we concluded that there was probably no chance of fulfilling that dream.

So we tried to find another way to communicate with each other. And that didn't work either. Because, you know, I've never heard of a postman transporting letters from one planet to another. He'd probably have to be on some kind of stimulant to keep up with it all.

When we got out of the car, devastated, I noticed something strange. Firstly, we were standing in some kind of huge stadium. Secondly, we were surrounded by people pushing and shoving each other. Thirdly, something resembling a stage was rising up next to us. Next to it stood a giant rocket.

I shouldn't have been surprised that my departure wouldn't be kept secret. Nevertheless, I was quite surprised and disoriented when I stepped out of the flying car.

After everything that had happened, I couldn't figure out what to do once I reached my designated spot. Fortunately, Motylek's dad had a good head on his shoulders and led us to safety – Olimpia and I sat in the front row.

Meanwhile, Motylek's mom went backstage to meet the president. There, she told him I was ready for takeoff.

After a few minutes, the Martians in the stadium fell silent. The president took the stage and began his LONG speech. He praised me for my courage and bravery (yes... he probably thought that if I had a choice on Earth between going to Mars or not, I would have chosen the latter... As it happens, I wasn't about to "take my feet off the ground"!). He also said that I had done very well on their planet (especially with the fire alarm) and that they were very proud of their neighbors ("Oh, of course... After all, Earth and Mars are very close. Literally, a stone's throw away!").

Later in his speech, he emphasized how wonderful and modern the rocket I would be flying in was. The only thing that stuck with me was that the flight to Earth would take me only three days. Hurray!

But you're probably thinking that despite my recent assurances, I wanted to return to my family home at all costs. Well, I can't entirely agree with you. Frankly, I was a bit fed up with this whole Mars thing. The fire department, the old lady at the playground, the president, and everything else around me. I was ready to jump into that rocket and say goodbye forever to the planet called "red." But after a moment, I looked at Olympia's face. She was looking back at me. Her eyes expressed so much love and warmth for me that in that instant, I promised myself I would see my friend again. I knew I wouldn't leave her here alone. That there would definitely be something that would keep us in touch.

And so it was. When the president stopped babbling about the rocket, he asked me to step up to the podium. I wasn't supposed to stand next to him alone. Olympia rose from her chair as well. Walking side by side along the rows of seats, I thought about what was about to happen. I decided I needed to talk to the president in private. I didn't know what to say to him yet, but I didn't want to give up so easily and allow myself to be driven from this planet. I was

so lost in thought that I didn't look where I was going. And that was a mistake. A grave mistake.

Events moved very quickly. Faster than ever before. I could assume.

As I climbed the stairs, I remembered my trip to Mars. I decided that this time I wouldn't be so terribly bored. After all, I was supposed to fly seven days shorter. I realized that Dot wouldn't be complaining so much about the lack of entertainment either.

And then I tripped over a step.

WHERE IS DOT???!!!

WHERE???!!!

I CAN'T LEAVE HER ALONE ON THIS HORRIBLE MARS!!!

But that wasn't the end of it! My enormous foot-kayaks got tangled in my surprise, and... I flew into some old woman. Well, it wasn't some normal, sweet old lady, but a Toothless Monster! A TOOTHLESS MONSTER!!!

I was so terrified that I jumped away from her as if scalded and... fell straight into the arms of a Defenseless Old Man.

"Apparently, the grandparents have become a couple," I thought. But I didn't have time for anything else, because the Toothless Monster started eyeing me suspiciously.

I felt trapped!

And suddenly something strange happened. Very strange, in fact. The old woman ordered my grandfather to release me and... attacked me herself. She started shouting (I think everyone heard her): "I'm well aware that you like my Fishlegs, but I refuse to accept your advances on him! And besides, from what I remember, you're... gay!"

Oh, dear Jesus! Remembering this sends a chill down my spine.

Suddenly, everything went very quiet. The only sound was the rapid breathing of the Toothless Monster.

And then the previously silent president looked at me, then at the Defenseless Old Man, then back at me and the old woman. His gaze lingered.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" he screamed. "What in God's name are you saying?! Are you even listening to yourself? It doesn't make sense!"

Fury was seething inside him. He probably wasn't angry because he knew his solid speech could be ruined with a single sentence from the Toothless Monster.

After his words, the crowd came alive, and snatches of conversation could be heard everywhere, overcome by the entire incident. People shouted over each other, and chaos reigned. I decided to take advantage of this and ran to Motyl's parents. I explained that Dot had probably stayed at their house. I begged them to let me go and go get that little kitten.

Luckily, Olimpia had a cool family, and after a few words of explanation to the president, we jumped in the car. Motyl's mom wanted to pick up something from the president, so besides Dad, who was driving, only Olimpia went with us.

When we pulled up in front of a familiar building, Motyl and I vanished like a shot and headed for the front door. From the doorway, we shouted, "Dot! Kitty, kitty! Come on, kitty! Dot!" We were terrified when we searched every room and couldn't find the animal we were looking for. Terrified, we ran out of the building and headed for the driveway where the flying vehicle was parked. We reached the driver's window and shouted to each other that Dot had vanished. Dad didn't believe us that she was nowhere to be found and got out of the car, which seemed strange to me. He headed toward the garage, and a moment later I heard his cry. It was full of joy, as I realized a moment later. My beloved Dot was running toward me. Happy with the successful outcome, I rushed toward the animal and within moments felt its soft fur in my hands. Delighted, I petted the kitten and tried to savor the moment.

My pleasure was interrupted by Olympia's dad:

"I know you girls really like each other and it's hard for you to say goodbye, but it's high time to go to the stadium."

We reluctantly got into the car. On the way to the stadium, Olympia's dad told us some awful things. It turned out that the Martian rocket (I don't know if ours—Earth's—have that option too. Sorry, I don't know much about it...) is programmed to launch into space at a certain time and head for Earth. Hmm... if we don't make it in time, the rocket will launch itself, and I'll be left on Mars. Okay. I know I wrote earlier that I don't want to leave my Olympia so soon, but understand me—I don't want to stay here forever. I have my own corner at home, my family, and wonderful friends. And of course, in addition to everything I've just listed, the object of my affections is on Earth.

But anyway, I sat terrified in the back seat of that flying vehicle. But that couldn't compare to the feelings I felt a few minutes later. Because that's when, with a trembling voice, I asked how many minutes were left until the rocket's launch. And it was so terrifying. When Olympia's dad, speeding along the highway, glanced at his Martian watch (it was like a cell phone, computer, and internet connection all rolled into one), he explained that we only had a few minutes left to reach the stadium.

A FEW MINUTES!!!

"And then what's going to happen to me and Kropka???!!!" I wanted to scream, but my voice caught in my throat. And at that second, Motyl's dad's "watch" rang. It was the president trying to remind us that we didn't have much time left until launch. Hmm... we were all too aware of that.

Olympia's dad accelerated so quickly that everything around us blurred before my eyes.

We rode in eerie silence. Despite this, there was a palpable tension in the air, which my Olimpia dared to break.

"Hmm... I'm wondering about something. Namely, I have no idea why the president asked me to come on stage. I understand, Julka. But me? Could you explain it to me?"

I just shook my head and looked at the third person in the car. Apparently, Olimpia had also noticed the mysterious smile on her father's face, because she looked at him curiously and demanded an explanation.

After a moment, her father gave up and turned to us.

"Okay, girls. I'll tell you something that was supposed to be a surprise for you. Of course, I wouldn't tell you this secret if Julia's rocket weren't about to blast off into space. The president wanted to give you some gifts. You were both supposed to receive devices that would allow you to communicate with each other. It would be the equivalent of Earth's internet.

Hey! I've found a solution to my separation from Olimpia!" Well... maybe I wasn't the one who found the solution to this difficult situation, but I'm so glad that something like Earth's internet exists. Yeah... but "that thing" is probably 100 times better because it works between planets. Oh! I think I like this president!

Suddenly, my thoughts were interrupted by Olimpia. Without saying a word, she slipped something tiny into the pocket of my sweatshirt. I had no idea what she meant, so I gave her a questioning look.

"It's a gift from me to you," she murmured. "Don't take it out just yet. See what's in the rocket, please. Oh! And don't tell anyone about this. It's very important. Very important," she added, a look of mystery etched on her face.

I still didn't know what was going on, but I decided to trust my otherworldly friend. After all, I'd done this so many times, and she'd never let me down. Luckily.

Suddenly, I heard tires screeching. Olimpia and her dad jumped out of the car, and I realized we were already there. I quickly joined them and we rushed towards the rocket.

I was ALMOST at the rocket when something happened. No, the rocket didn't launch, but I heard a voice coming from the speakers. It was a guy standing on stage. He was shouting that I only had 10 seconds left to get through the crowd.

As I tried to get to the rocket, I suddenly felt someone's breath on my cheek. It was my little butterfly whispering these words in my ear with a tearful voice:

"Julko... I hope we'll meet again... I... in that short time, I loved you like a sister. And...

And she kissed me on the cheek. I felt so sorry for her then... She was so terribly sad and unhappy...

But I had no time to lament my departure. Time flew by...

And then I reached the rocket. I gave Olympia, who had been trailing behind me the entire way, a quick yet heartfelt hug.

I jumped into the rocket. I breathed a sigh of relief. I felt so happy, knowing that practically everything had worked out.

And then something fell through the rocket's opening. My heart stopped. I thought maybe the Toothless Monster was so jealous of his "Fishlegs" that he decided to blow up the rocket. Fortunately, I was wrong. Dot approached me with a look of obvious indignation on his face. I hugged her and heard a noise. This time, the rocket's openings slammed shut with a loud bang. The countdown began...

With Dot in my arms, I ran to the transparent part of the ship and happily waved to the Martians. I saw Olympia's face drowning in tears. Despite everything, I also saw a faint smile on her face. I knew she'd thrown Dot in there. It might have been an unpleasant experience for the kitten, but I knew Butterfly had done it for the animal's good. And I was incredibly grateful.

The rocket took off, and I lifted off with it. I was in tears, waving to the people in the stadium. Although I knew my trip to another planet was somewhat unpleasant, I didn't regret it. I'd had an adventure the whole world would surely envy. An adventure I'd remember for the rest of my life.

And Venus? Hmm... I'll go to that another time!