CHAPTER 3
HALINECZKA
A girl not much taller than a pack of cigarettes, with a wreath on her head and transparent wings on her back, sat on a flower and talked to a boy not much taller than herself.
"I don't know if we should get married, my dear.
" "But, my dear Halineczka, how can you say that?
" "You hardly know me at all, and I know nothing about you either.
" "But I love you, Halineczka, and we'll have almost all eternity to get to know each other.
" "Then you must know, my dear, that I've already had several fiancés and generally have a very rich past.
" "It doesn't matter if you tell me now that you love me."
And so, after a short conversation, they both flew away from the flower, wings buzzing.
The sun was already high. Wokulski took off his jacket, unbuttoned his shirt, sat down in the shade under a tree to rest, leaning his back against the trunk and closing his eyes. He took a breath of fresh air and let it out, slowly falling asleep.
Halineczka and her beloved were just emerging from the forest, hurrying to the meadow to drink nectar from a flower. They were just passing Wokulski.
Stanisław Wokulski was slowly dozing off when he heard a steady buzzing sound to his left. Without hesitation, he snapped his hands above his ears, searching for the source of the sound.
The buzzing stopped. Wokulski fell asleep. CHAPTER
4: THE PRINCESS
He woke up, rubbed his eyes, and stretched his arms. "Time to move on," he said to himself, and rose from the ground. He took a few steps and brushed aside a bush. A road wasn't far off. It wound its way up the hill, disappearing occasionally between the trees, then reappearing. Wokulski decided to follow it; now he could do whatever he wanted. He felt an impulse, so he gave in to it; he hadn't been able to afford it for a while. He threw his jacket over his shoulder and set off. The sun was warm on the back of his neck, but he didn't seem to mind. He simply walked on, content with his life. He had been wandering along the roadside for a while now, but lost in his thoughts, he hadn't noticed how long he had been walking or how far he had come. He came to when, behind the next hill, he saw a castle. Beautiful, though not at all huge. It had two towers, a high wall surrounded it, huge, colorful flags fluttered from the roofs, and two small turrets stood at the main gate. Wokulski felt a surge of excitement and quickened his pace. When he was quite close, he saw a drawbridge and guards at the entrance. He hesitated a bit, but before he could make up his mind, two men rode up to him on horseback. One of them started a conversation. "The gentleman from the ad. " "I don't quite understand the ad."
"It doesn't matter.
" "But...
" "Here's your pass," the guard interjected, handing Wokulski a small piece of paper.
"You'll get into the castle through the main gate. They'll check your pass at the entrance. Show it, and you can go in and try your luck. Go ahead
, man." He moved forward, not knowing what to expect.
He approached the guards standing at the gate.
"The gentleman from the advert." "I understand.
" "You could say so.
" "Then you have a pass, great. You have it even better. This is your number." He handed Wokulski a pink piece of paper with the number 9 written on it. "Go ahead and enter. You'll go straight, then left, then right, then down the stairs, then left again, and you'll pass through the red door. Red, not brown—that's not the door I mean, brown. I mean red. You'll go through the red door, then up the winding stairs. You'll reach the first floor, pass the hall of mirrors, turn left, and you'll be there as soon as you cross the corridor. He'll lead you to your seat." Did you remember or should I repeat myself?
- That's not right. I'll definitely get there.
- In that case, good luck.
- Thank you.
- And remember the red door, not the blue one.
- I thought it was brown
. - What. Oh yes, brown. You're right, brown. Through the brown one.
- You said through the red one, and the brown one…
- Oh yes. Great, I'm just checking you out. So don't go through the brown one, not the blue one. Besides, it makes no difference to me, I'm colorblind anyway. But as you said, through the red one. Avoid the others.
- I'll go now.
- Yes, go ahead. Go ahead, go left here.
- You're pointing to the right.
- Ha, of course I'm stupid, that's the right one. Go ahead.
He set off down a long corridor. On both walls hung ceiling-high mirrors with heavy gilded frames. Wokulski heard some whispers and after a moment saw a group of men crowding by the door of a room. He asked one of them.
- What's this all about, sir
? - How do you mean you don't know? The king's daughter, the princess, can't sleep; something's bothering her.
"Does she have nightmares?
" "Nothing like that.
" "What's going on?
" "That's the point, nobody knows. But the king announced that whoever solves the problem will receive a generous reward, so a few people have gathered and are working on it."
"I see. There are already some results."
"One fatality so far. It so happened that when the Princess started complaining, Brother Ovidius was summoned from a nearby monastery. He was a well-known physician in the area. He was there because when the Princess said something was bothering her and bothering her, not letting her sleep, Brother Ovidius said it might be her conscience. Such a professional perversion, you understand. They executed him the next day.
And by the way, what number are you?
" "Nine.
" "Then you're done for.
" "Well, now it's my turn, wish me luck.
" "Break a leg," replied Wokulski.
"I'm going. Keep your fingers crossed for me.
" "How did it go?
" "Don't ask.
" "What's so bad?
" "A complete failure.
" "He's still complaining.
" "Unfortunately." I massaged my feet, sang lullabies, told a story, and even had a more personal conversation. I must tell you, I've never been so honest with any woman, but the woman keeps whining and complaining that she's feeling a pinch here and a pain there. It's a complete failure, sir.
"Well, maybe I'll manage."
"I don't think so, but I wish you luck; you'll definitely need it.
" "Well, I'm in."
The room wasn't large, bright rays of light streamed in through a large window. Paintings in massive carved frames and a huge lion's head hung on the walls. Richly inlaid furniture lined the walls, and a thick, colorful rug with white fringing along the edges lay on the floor.
"Hello, I'm here."
Wokulski glanced around the room. A woman dressed in a nightgown lay on a large four-poster bed piled high with pillows.
"I'm here, you see me."
"Oh, yes, of course I do." Wokulski, Stanisław, I'm very pleased to hear that."
"Princess, I'm pleased to hear that too. So, do you have any ideas yet?"
"On what subject?
" "About my insomnia, of course.
" "I'm sorry. I must admit, not yet. However, if I could get closer to the bed, maybe something would come to mind. Maybe the furniture is to blame.
" "Just a moment." The Princess took a small gold bell from the table and rang it. A moment later, a short man, dressed very simply, entered the room. He wore round glasses with thick lenses. His mustache and eyebrows were neatly trimmed.
He ran his hand over his bald head.
"I'm at your disposal, Princess.
" "This is Mr. Watson, Mr. Wokulski. Watson, this is Mr. Wokulski. Mr. Watson is the chaperone who will ensure that there are no ambiguous situations.
" "Of course I understand," Wokulski replied.
"Mr. Watson," the Princess continued, "can also offer advice; he knows my case quite well.
" "Then we'll get down to business. If you'll allow me.
" "I'm at your disposal, within reason, of course."
"That goes without saying, Princess.
" "Yes, so Princess," Wokulski began, "how long have you been suffering from these… discomforts?
" "Actually, I don't remember when it started; now it feels like it's been going on forever. This insomnia has made me completely lose track of time.
" "Perhaps Mr. Watson can help me." "
I'm at your service. The Princess has been suffering from discomfort, as you yourself called it, for as long as I can remember, sir.
" "Yes. Your help is invaluable, Watson.
" "Thank you.
" "When was the last time you left this room, Princess?
" "I vaguely remember being with my father on an expedition to Africa as a little girl. But it was so long ago that I don't remember anything more. This insomnia is killing me; I don't go anywhere lately.
" "In Africa, that's interesting. Do you remember that, Mr. Watson?
" "Of course. I had the honor of accompanying the Princess and her father, the King, on an expedition."
"I wonder if something pleasant happened in the Princess's past that would have contributed to her insomnia.
" "I'm sorry to interrupt," Watson interjected, "but there was indeed an event on the expedition to Africa. "
"An event, Watson.
" "An event, Watson," the Princess repeated after Wokulski.
"Yes, an event. Well, the day before the departure, after the King bought the Princess a set of youthful African bedding—one set for each day of the year, each in a different color, a different pattern, and so on. The King bought an unusually large number of them, which also cost him an unusually large sum for the next 15 years, if you will.
" "Let's not get off topic, Watson.
" "Of course. Well, that's when the event took place. It was a hot night, and we were sleeping in tents. Far from the forest, we could hear the sounds of cicadas singing, lions roaring on their nightly hunt, and jackals howling at the moon. That very night, a beast crept into the King's tent. A huge lion, ready to devour our lord, fought. The King grabbed a knife and lunged at the beast. Their bodies intertwined in a deadly dance, clouds of dust obscuring the view. At one point, the King dropped the knife, but refused to give up, grabbed the beast by the mane and pinned its head to the ground. It wriggled free and was about to clamp its jaws around the King's throat when he grabbed it and strangled it. That's more or less how I remember it.
"Is that the lion's head hanging on the wall?" Wokulski asked.
"That's right.
" "I have one more question: is the bedding the Princess is now in the one the King bought?"
"That's right. I think I'm beginning to understand your reasoning, Mr. Wokulski. You seem to think that the fact that the Princess saw her father fighting for his life, then killing the beast whose head hangs in her room, might evoke unpleasant associations, that perhaps that event caused a shock in the Princess's young mind, which to this day cannot forget.
" "No." Wokulski moved closer to the Princess's bed and picked up one of the colorful pillows. That's the reason, my dear Watson. African bedding for teenagers.
" "I don't quite understand.
" "Me neither," the Princess repeated.
"I hasten to explain," Wokulski replied.
"The buttons are to blame. They're made of ivory, and most importantly, they're unusually large. I'm sure that if we turn the pillow over, the Princess will fall asleep without the slightest problem.
" "You're a genius."
"Thank you, Watson. Let's quickly turn the pillows over and see what effect it has."
The princess lay back on the upturned pillows and fell asleep almost immediately.
"Your reward awaits you, Mr. Wokulski. Let's go to the King as soon as possible to tell him the good news
