Zbyszek II

Zbyszek, still sleepily, looked in the mirror. He was simply submitting to scrutiny, which in this age of general scrutiny shouldn't have been surprising. He examined his strong chin and patted his disheveled hair with his hands.

After his morning toilet and dressed, he examined his appearance once more (this time with a more critical eye). He wanted to stop being conspicuous. Well, he was handsome (though it was hard for him to try to be objective in that regard), but what good was it when—he saw it clearly—he looked (no offense...) like a librarian?

He wore brown patent leather shoes, creased trousers, and a vest... sorry. What did he have to do with people? Add to that the pomade in his hair (like in the 19th century...) and glasses that looked like the bottoms of glasses. GORA thought he wouldn't be noticeable in such an outfit. They must have seen too many episodes of "The New Adventures of Superman" and probably thought Bookowski would instantly transform into a magnificent macho man. Aha... Add to that the green scooter, and you see, dear reader, that GORA has outdated ways of thinking. And yet, in the 21st century, public opinion must be taken into account...

That's why Zbyszek decided to change his image...

He visited a dozen or so of the best boutiques with fashionable collections for fashionable men and chose something for himself. Black (branded, not fake, that's for wimps) jeans, a black shirt (casually open at the chest...), and over that he threw on a black leather jacket. He stood in front of the mirror, looked... He tilted his head like a movie lover and whispered ominously,

"What do you know about borrowing books?

" He put on dark glasses and jumped into his red BMW. Before setting off, he blasted "The Offspring" at full volume, delighting everyone within a 15-meter range with the roar of the singer and lead guitar. Cool... well, off we go.

He took every turn with a screech of tires, heading for his destination. Suddenly, just ahead, barely 20-25 meters away, he saw a strange man dressed in blue.

The law enforcement officer was waving at this idiot in a BMW who was speeding 200 km/h down a local road. Zbyszek slammed on the brakes, and the car stopped immediately. ABS is ABS...

The cop was about to give him a good run for his money, already dreaming of what he could buy with the commission from such a large ticket; but the librarian simply waved his service ID in front of him, and the stunned law enforcement officer was already far behind. He didn't even turn off the player... Besides, he was untouchable—after all—an agent of the FBI (Interactive Library Officer), the KGB (National Group of Librarians), the Security Service (Library Service), a Master of Library Science and a researcher; in certain circles, he was a real name.

When he arrived, he first went to find out what was going on, because, as usual, he didn't know. He handled all such matters in local libraries scattered across the country. He walked in confidently, glaring down at everyone, and immediately asked for details of the mission. The librarian – his "contact," dressed like everyone else (i.e., like a spinster), outlined the matter for him. GÓRA was surprised by the recent surge in interest in literature. You know, they started reading authors critics consider brilliant. By the way, such a situation would be incredible. And it was. People were reading NIKE Award winners and titles recommended by "Gazeta Wyborcza." What was going on?

Zbyszek went to the library first. He looked around very carefully, and indeed, he found it! Readers stopped reading Harlequins and morality novels, leaving behind thrillers and crime novels. No one took them… They started borrowing fiction, dramas, poetry, and even science fiction (??????). Shocking in sneakers! Such reading choices, from a true librarian accustomed to lower reading levels, were surprising.

What was going on?

Book'owski ran his hand through his hair, took out a handkerchief, and wiped the gel from his hand. He glanced at the people sitting in the reading room. It was packed. Huh?

He approached one of the people – she was reading "Lord Jim" with interest, then "The Aeneid," "The Doll," the entire canon of school literature, and so on. Only in the corner were two embarrassed individuals reading something normal, but they were so embarrassed they were conspicuous. Zbyszek sat down and began to think. He thought for a long moment, then took out a notebook and began taking notes. He leafed through a few books and knew!!!

Because he was intelligent. After all, he was a librarian with a university degree, right?

He drove up to the large villa of a government bigwig and chatted with him for a bit. The bigwig didn't want to talk right away, but Zbyszek wasn't exactly clueless. If not with a request, then with a threat, but anyone can be reached. If Zbyszek had revealed certain data about Szycha's reading habits, Szycha would have been finished. That's why he spilled the beans.

It turned out the government wants to manipulate people. On TV and radio, using methods known only to them, they convince people that they should read books and that the EU is okay. Pigs!!! How can they force people to read books!!! It's awful. Zbyszek did like to promote the library, but rather in a more traditional way. Well, anyway, his blood boiled (ORh+), and when he got over it, he went to the local TV station (because for now, that was the only place they were testing the possibility of such perfidious manipulation of people). He took out his favorite weapon (an AK), threw two animation strips over his shoulder, and entered the station's doors.

He opened fire and (carefully avoiding people) elegantly destroyed all the TV equipment. He had clearance from the top, so they couldn't do anything to him. Besides, he was wearing dark glasses, so who would recognize him?

When he had finished the work of destruction, he said politely to the shocked people:

- Sorry, it's my job... And now, please come to the library. The book and the magazine are waiting. Goodbye.

And like a typical macho librarian, he jumped into his BMW and screeched across the country, occasionally promoting Kicz among the native population.