he looked at the sky

He looked up at the sky. His mind went blank, and he felt a chill creeping over him. Get the hell out of my life, I need support. You'll never give it to me. She screamed. So goodbye, he thought. He was always so lost. Where was my place? He felt the wind on his face and the raindrops. He liked the rain.

"Inigo!" he heard someone calling his name, but he couldn't even turn around. He knew he knew that voice, but assigning it to someone was too much effort. His mind was black. Please, leave me alone.

"Dude, is that you?! It's been a while. How are you? You look good, you've lost weight! Come to Żółwia, we'll sit and talk. I invite you.

Who are you?... Leave me alone. I'm almost gone."

He stood there for a moment, staring at the man standing before him. He knew: it was Kajtek. Kajtek—always smiling, Kajtek—optimistic.

"Inigo, what's wrong?" Don't tell me you don't recognize me. I'm Kajetan. You know, the one who picks up girls for pity's sake," the blond tried to joke.

"I remember, of course I do. It's just that, you know, I don't feel the slightest desire to talk to anyone right now. So, piss off, okay?"

He didn't care. He didn't care what Kajtek thought, or what the rest of this shitty rabble thought. Kajetan's blue eyes darkened. He pulled out his cigarettes. He'd known this guy for quite a while; after all, they'd been through a lot together. He was always direct and didn't try to be polite unless he had to. That's who he was, and he accepted him that way, but now he felt uncomfortable. He offered him a cigarette.

"No thanks," he said, quite calmly. "

I don't want anything from you, I don't want anything from you." Anger flashed in his eyes. They stood there for a moment, saying nothing… the rain was falling, people were running.

"OK, I'll piss off now, good luck." Bye.

He slowly moved toward the center. He felt Inigo's intelligent, penetrating gaze on him. He knew this guy was actually very sensitive, maybe even oversensitive…

"Kajtek!" he cried. "I'm sorry.

He didn't do anything. I can't blame the whole world for his messed up behavior.

" "I… I didn't want you…

" "Okay, I know," he interrupted. He knew it was difficult for him, that he was struggling.

"So… now I'm inviting you for a beer!"

The anger vanished; after all, the feeling of meaninglessness had accompanied him his entire life. They say you can get used to anything… He was already tired of not knowing the answer…

If it weren't for Kajetan, I probably would have gone to… I don't know where, but it doesn't matter – you can torment yourself anywhere.

They sat down. They didn't say anything for a moment, an awkward silence reigned, the rain continued to fall. The room was gray with smoke, initials and tokens of love were carved on the tables, but Inigo liked this place, appreciated the opportunity to burp loudly without attracting anyone's attention.

"Damn, sometimes I don't know where my world is. Or rather, I don't know where it is at all." He stared out the window. His gaze wandered far, far beyond this landscape...

"I think I'll go buy a beer." He came to after a moment.

"Inigo?...What you just said...I know what you're talking about. You see, you have the courage to show your difference and you don't give a damn about what others think.

" "And you?

" "Me?...I don't have that courage, I only have awareness.

" "Awareness is destroying me."

He looked into the man's dark eyes. He wondered who would be the first to bring this up. Or maybe Inigo didn't want to talk about it? It was hard to read his face, as it always was. He has his own world, one he's locked away in.

They drank a few beers each, ordered more. People came and went. Time passed. It turned out Kajtek had a job, even earned a decent living.

"I don't. I have days when I can't get out of bed. Often I just didn't show up for work. They got fired a month ago..."

They suddenly heard a slightly too loud, girlish laugh. They looked in that direction. Two girls in short skirts were clearly trying to get their attention. They stood up and moved to another table. Kajetan felt uneasy because the new table turned out to be their own. They smelled too strong.

"How's it going, guys? Will you buy us a beer, or should we buy you one?" the shorter one asked, and they immediately burst out laughing. "I'm Anka, and this is Karolina."

Neither of them were in the mood for that kind of company

. "My name is Inigo, and this is my friend Kajetan. Unfortunately, we can't buy you anything, and you probably won't buy us anything either, since we're just leaving."

They finished their beers and left. The girls, on the other hand, found other, more willing subjects. It was late. He saw it in his eyes… he saw how he pulled away when she touched his thigh. Now he could smell his body. He stood close. His eyes hadn't yet adjusted to the darkness. He couldn't see Kajetan's face, but he could feel his warm breath on their skin. Neither of them spoke. He knew she was waiting for some signal from him. "Okay then," Inigo thought, "if that's what you want, and I guess I do too..." He kissed him gently. Kajetan shivered. His lips were warm and soft. He was glad he'd made the decision. He didn't want to make the first move; he wasn't sure how Inigo would react. He slipped his tongue into Kajetan's mouth. He could only feel his scent and the strength of his body. Now he felt the warmth on his neck, a strong shiver running through him. Suddenly Inigo pulled away and walked off into the night… He didn't stop him