The Tale of the Crazy Waitress

Kama's awakening doesn't occur until several hours after noon.

Her first activity is a refreshing bath. She sheds her colorful nightgown and hangs it on the nightstand lamp. Walking naked around the apartment makes her feel very feminine.

In the bathroom, she begins making strange faces in front of the mirror, conducting a self-analysis. From the faces she makes, she reads various aspects of her personality. She sees herself as a five-year-old girl, curious about the world, as a fourteen-year-old nymphomaniac, and finally, she stands still, holding the edges of the mirror, and contemplates her current self – a waitress adored by nightclub patrons.

Then she steps away a bit and savors the sight of her naked body. She assumes various poses, most often imagining herself making love to someone in a forest clearing. The partner is usually unspecified. Besides, he doesn't play the most important role. What matters is the action itself.

Just as the tub is almost overflowing, Kama sits on the washing machine and splashes her foot in it. This way, she checks if the water temperature is high enough. She also loves splashing, which reminds her of her kindergarten days. Back then, everything was possible, and people didn't view it as a mental illness.

After wetting her feet, Kama dances back to her room to turn on her tape recorder. The music transports her into her own world during the bath, making every visit to the tub a stroll down Love Street for her. Because her bathing repertoire consists exclusively of romantic songs. Other music is only allowed after she gets home from work.

After completely drying her curly hair, she returns to her room and opens her closet for clothes. She usually puts on skirts. She feels better in them, and besides, when she walks by mirrors, she can admire the patterns on them. Only occasionally does she prance around the yard in tight jeans, which so beautifully accentuate her hips. And only once, after returning from a long walk in the forest, she decided to wear her white shorts.

All the customers were delighted. They tried all sorts of provocations, and the more drunk ones simply grabbed her buttocks. Other waitresses were outraged by this behavior, but Kama wasn't. She knows men don't take it personally. In an alcoholic world, grabbing a woman's buttocks is completely normal. Therefore, Kama, in a very gentle yet firm voice, informed her that she wasn't currently in the mood for any sexual contact and that they had mistaken a nightclub for an escort agency.

Once her outfit is chosen, she pours herself a tall glass of orange soda and sips it through a straw. She tucks her essential equipment, consisting of a Walkman and purple glasses, into her purse. The glasses protect her from insolent glances on the bus, while also allowing her to gaze at one person for several minutes without undue embarrassment. Even briefly observing one person adds a tremendous amount of information to her collection.

After packing her gear, Kama teases for a moment with the TV remote. This is always her way of greeting this beloved object, a gateway to a world of love stories and betrayed queens.

The last thing she does before leaving for work is say goodbye to Małgorzata, a provincial actress from twenty years ago, crowned on a black-and-white poster and placed in the corner of the room, in the place of honor previously occupied by a radiator.

When Kama was little, she would often sit in front of this poster and stare at it for hours. The entire family saw her incredible fascination, so her grandfather gave her a poster for her eighteenth birthday. From then on, the waitress talks to Małgorzata every day about her affairs, shares secrets with her, and watches television with her. She treats her as a kind of personification of the female archetype, as her spiritual guide who has always helped her in difficult times. She loves her. As she says

goodbye, Kama kisses Małgorzata warmly on the lips, then leaves the house and spends the night serving sweet drinks to men immersed in their joyful world.