We must learn to die throughout our entire lives."

"

A ball of air rose to the surface. Water was about to pour from the bathtub—the only confined space suffocating me, trying to bring me relief. The first drop spilled from the chalice of my salvation, but was it also joy? The last breath was about to escape my soul when a thorn of doubt pierced my heart painfully. Dreams, memories, desires froze. With the last remnant of strength, I rose. It made no sense. In an eternal second, in a cosmos of nonexistence, the water began to turn warm. As if red flowers had sprouted, revealing the beauty and sublimity of the moment. Who would have thought… Exploring the organs from within with a blade, embellishing the bouquets around it, the remnant of consciousness guided the hand. My soul had already begun to ponder the pain of its form. Whimpering, it moved away from the mundane human structure. That which gives oxygen now takes it away. Greedy time claims the last moments of darkened moments for itself. Unconscious, in reality, I was only sleeping, slowly waking up in a different place. Disoriented, I lost track of time. Every fiber in my body began to rage mercilessly, then my body calmed painfully, beginning to move in the opposite direction. The darkness faded, the light radiated. There was no turning back. The biological scream of my cells, the determined protest of my mind, would no longer reverse what had happened. Like a stake, the last beat of my heart pierced my chest. I only stared with my nonexistent eyes at what was being shown to me. With a playful gesture, I stopped the last spark living within me. Why pave the way for passage with an even fainter hope than the prospect of my happiness? What remained of me no longer captivated with its beauty. A pale face, fear, blood, death, and more suffering shrouded in the helplessness of the heart; buttressed by the innocent plea of ​​touching hope. Another victim of the immutability of the actions taken, the inspired creators of murderous experiences. There's nothing left around me. Counted among the slave souls, nonexistent. Amidst the damning suffering, one can find the hole left by my burned-out heart... A desired candidate—recruited. Tota vita discendum est mori—I have finally learned.