She lay on a perpetually white bed and stared into a small mirror. A crowd of people walked across the cemetery ground. In front were two coffins, two black coffins merging with black clothes. But the white snow and the delicate touches of sunlight didn't sit well with her. Not on the day of her parents' funeral, no, the sun had no right to joyfully warm the mysterious globe. It should be dark, it should be raining. She flung the mirror into the corner of the room, and blood gushed from her eyes again.
"Why?" she whispered, looking up as if expecting to see the old, kind, and blissfully secure face she'd so often seen in her imagination, to which she'd so loudly called for help when she was still alive... when she'd lost her bet.
"Nadine, the master is calling you," whispered the boy, if she could even call him that. She stood up and, dragging her dress along the floor, left the room. But she stopped and looked into his eyes.
"What...what's your name?
" "Darius." He grabbed her hand and led her, helping to destroy her self-hatred. When she entered that beautiful room again, she didn't look back. She didn't even raise her eyes, squeezing them shut at the sound of his chuckle. That awful man was laughing. He was simply laughing at how she suffered, how she crawled through the mud before herself, towards the path to hope.
"You did it. You're so sweet with those wings." He laughed so cruelly that she wanted to punch him, so that at least that hard shell of his would feel something. So that he couldn't speak anymore, let alone laugh. Unfortunately, that was impossible; simply talking back to him was beyond her capabilities. "But you have another task. This time, you'll kill your friends, one by one...
" "But...
" "Shhh..." he interrupted. "If you want to stay, you'll do it if you don't face eternal damnation." Nadine, I'm giving you a whole human day to think about it. She couldn't, she simply couldn't, she wanted to scream, but Darius squeezed her hand just in time and led her back to the chamber. She was writhing in pain, no, no one had hit her, it was coming from within, from her soul, from her own space. She sat at the corner of the bed, and Darius held her hand and whispered for her not to cry.
"Why? Why should I deprive them of this, even pathetic, important existence, huh? Mariah, Joel, and all the rest, why?! Why can't I hurt those I don't know?!
"That's the whole point..." He looked at her with cold eyes, like two ice crystals, yet she felt the warmth radiating from them. She let go of his hands and clasped them on her chest.
"Why are you helping me?
" "Because... I like you, and the Lord wants to deprive you of every last vestige of humanity by murdering your loved ones." Because you see, if…" A terrifying roar rang out, and the ground shook, though no more than the girl's heart. She opened her eyes.
"What if? What if?! Darius!" she screamed, thrashing around the room. The boy disappeared, dissolved. "Shit!" She slammed her clenched fist into the rough wall. Surprisingly, it didn't hurt, so she did it again. She slid down the wall and wrapped her arms around her knees. She was fed up with this whole other world, this "better world." She squelched the hope that this was just a bad dream teaching the value of life, that it had been created by a force protecting her from just such a world. She stared blankly at a single spot. Like a thirsty woman, she needed rescue. In life, she had wanted freedom, yet she had fallen from the rain into the gutter.
"How can you be such an idiot and abandon yourself to blind fate?!" Silence answered her, a silence she so desperately didn't want here at that moment. She clenched her fists, looked up, and whispered, "Get me out of here." There was no reaction, and the silence didn't match the sequence of events she had imagined in her mind. She imagined someone from above who would suddenly appear and show mercy. She buried her face in her hands, squeezing her eyes shut so no drop of blood would spill onto her cheeks. Whether seconds or hours passed, she didn't know. She didn't even know if time existed here. She heard quiet whispers interspersed with a sinister chuckle. Something told her to get up and go to the master's room. She did.
"You're a fast learner, my dear." She didn't look at him; it hurt too much. "Have you decided?
" "Y...yes." Even her speech was difficult. The words seemed to deliberately instill fear in her. As if she felt even greater respect for this disgusting beast.
"So? What's your answer?
" "Yes," she said through her teeth. "I'll kill them.
I don't feel;
I don't think;
I don't breathe;
I'm escaping the cursed silence;
I scream to drown out my thoughts;
Are you laughing?"
Spit in my face, and I will understand;
Do you despise me?
Strike hard, and I will remember;
If you will stand by me;
If you will not let me down;
If you will join hands and lead me to happiness;
Save me...
Brak komentarzy:
Prześlij komentarz