3

Stop... stop..." I moaned, until finally the Spirits who served me arrived and surrounded me on all sides, enclosing me in a protective cocoon. The scream faded, and I was left alone.

I slowly rose to my feet. But why was I crying? I wiped the warm tears from my cheeks with a trembling hand. What did this mean? Who was calling me by a name only my heart recognized, but not my memory...? Filled with doubt, I returned to my room. I dressed and began to bustle around the temple. I carefully swept the floor, fetched water, and tossed new herbs into the clay bowls. However, the vision from the previous night occupied my mind. Each time, I noticed new details, and each time, the vision lengthened. I placed the basil, cloves, and sage on the altar. I lit a candle and knelt before the altar for a long moment, palms extended upward. Only after a moment did I drop the cloves into a large bowl filled with crystal-clear water. I breathed deeply and tried to clear my mind of all the negative thoughts that tormented me.

"I call upon the Guardians and the male and female powers," I said in a firm and commanding voice. "I surround myself with protective fire, and the power of the earth supports me. The wind surrounds me, and the flow of water calms the surging energies. I trust in this protection and release my fears to unite with the pulse of nature. May it be as best for all!"

With that, I held the dried basil over the candle. The herb quickly began to burn, filling the room with choking smoke.

"Cerridwen, Lady of Inspiration and Transformation, I call upon you to return all things to their proper place." Transform negative thoughts and pain and make my life whole again. Lady, partake of this water with me and surround me and my settlement with your protection. May the waters of your eternal womb bring divine change.

I scooped up the water in which I'd placed the cloves, and as I raised it to my lips, I saw it begin to sparkle and shimmer like the brightest stars. Suddenly, I felt like a bird about to take flight, or a horse galloping across the open meadows. I smiled, standing up and picking up the bowl of water. I stretched it out on my shoulders and began circling the temple with it, each time spilling a little water onto the floor. Evil energy crawled along the walls, and I heard the crackling sound of it entering even the smallest crack. I poured what remained before the temple threshold, offering it to the Spirits. I returned to the altar and tossed the sage into the clay bowl, which began to burn. I heard the hissing of evil Spirits, scalded by the holy smoke and water, reluctantly crawling out of their nooks and crannies and leaving the temple. Their curses continued to echo in my ears. I began circling the temple again, beseeching the evil to depart. Returning to the altar, I knelt before it, bowing so low that my forehead touched the ground.

"My Mother, Cerridwen, please fill the void in this place with good Spirits and your protective energy. Hear me and sanctify the place where I serve you."

I hadn't finished speaking when suddenly the white stone in the center of the temple glowed with a blinding white light, filling the Sanctuary with its warm radiance. I covered my eyes and could only listen to the joyful laughter of the good Spirits who had come at the Goddess's call. After a moment, the temple was once again darkened, and the Spirits fell silent so I could complete the ritual.

"Thank you, Great Mother and Horned God, for your grace and help." I rose from my knees and left the temple.

It was already dawn, and people were heading out to the fields to finish the harvest. The peaceful life of the settlement went on at its own pace. I enjoyed observing them, observing their affairs, worries, and hopes. There was something so endearingly simple about it. Meanwhile, my life, isolated from the settlement, unfolded on the hill. Every day I prayed to the Goddess and the Horned God, asking for peace, fertility, and health. Unlike me, people still came to the High Priest for advice, prophecies, and healing. My destiny, however, was to serve alone; surrounded only by the Spirits, I rarely spoke. Naturally, I was afflicted by loneliness. I couldn't seek advice from anyone, or even share my joys or sorrows. I was alone. The Guardians' company was strictly limited to communal rituals, yet at the same time I felt I served them all, and that without me, the Goddess wouldn't listen to the High Priest, who, for money's sake, increasingly neglected his duties, concentrating solely on divination and undoing spells. With each successive sheaf of grain, my hands ached more and more. We loaded another cart, and an endless line of other carts was already heading towards the settlement, where the remaining men would store the grain in the granaries. Somewhere in the distance, I saw the Guardians. They worked much harder than I did, and I saw complete commitment in their every gesture. Meanwhile, lost in my thoughts, I continued my work slowly. In the afternoon, they came to me with a meal. We settled down on the grass, as we had the day before. Something sinister hung in the air. I could feel their unease.

"We can't leave this like this!" the Fire Guardian suddenly burst out. "We have to do something; the Spirits are warning us!"

"The settlement is the only safe place. We can't leave it. We'd condemn the people and ourselves to wandering." The Earth Guardian tore a handful of grass and tossed it into the wind. We watched the green blades drifting in the wind.

"We already know that," the Air Guardian said impatiently. "We must do something to protect them effectively. What do you propose?

" "We have trained warriors. We must train more. We will hire blacksmiths to make weapons. And we ourselves will go outside the settlement to learn to wield the forces of the elements," the Water Guardian began thoughtfully. "That's all we can do for now."

I turned my face away, cringing. I couldn't listen to this! The Water Guardian looked at me, resting his hand on my shoulder.

"You know the dangers," I whispered, looking at them reproachfully, tears streaming down my cheeks. "You know that if you make a mistake, you will die! You can't risk it!"

"We have no choice," replied the Water Guardian. "We must defend the settlement. That is why we were chosen, and that is why the elemental powers were subordinated to us."

"We will do everything in our power to protect the settlement. The only thing we can't do is watch idly...

" "You can pray for us," the Fire Keeper suddenly said. "Commend us to the Goddess and the Horned God. I'm sure that thanks to your intercession, nothing will happen to us."

I couldn't listen to this any longer. I didn't want to! I jumped to my feet and ran across the field. I passed the astonished villagers and empty horse-drawn carts. I ran faster and faster until my breathing became ragged and wheezing. I don't know how long it lasted, but suddenly I found myself among the low trees. Their trunks were narrow, their branches thin and twisted. Only then did I sink to my knees, sobbing helplessly. Something inside me told me that all our prayers and preparations would be in vain. Nothing could protect us from the impending danger. The spirits wept with me. Some of them, seeing my suffering, wanted to comfort me, but in my grief I did not let their voices reach me.

I must have fallen asleep, because when I awoke, the red light of the setting sun was filtering through the trees, bathing the forest in a blood-red glow. I rubbed my swollen eyes and moved forward, heading toward a vast clearing. The sight that emerged from behind the trees stopped me in my tracks, unable to do anything. On a hill bathed in red light, towered the massive stones that formed a temple. A white rampart surrounded them from the outside, filled during rituals with the ashes of sacrificial animals. Inside, embedded deep in the earth were large stones, upon which equally massive blocks of rock were placed. They formed something like gates, each tightly packed together, forming a circle. In the center of this stone circle stood three giants. The largest stood in the center, two slightly smaller ones on either side, forming a semicircle, each symbolizing a separate gate. The inner circle was surrounded by narrow, bluish stones, as tall as a man. Without realizing it, I began walking in that direction, never taking my eyes off the temple. It was beautiful, and I could see the Spirits around it. They sat on the stones or danced among them, laughing and singing. There were so many of them here. I'd never seen so many before! My heart pounded in my chest. The last time we came here, we were offering a procession of sacrificial oxen to the Horned God. The colorful procession moved across the plain, chanting and carrying flaming torches. The entire village gathered at the foot of the hill to watch the ritual. Only the High Priests and Guardians were allowed access to the temple. No one else was allowed to tread on such sacred ground. When I finally reached the hill, I felt my entire body go numb and some powerful Power flow into my limbs. "What brought me here?" I thought, approaching the enormous boulders. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes. I sat down under one of them. Concerned Spirits surrounded me, asking what worried me so.

"Queen of the moonlight," I whispered, weeping, "help me and hear my prayers... Aid me with your wisdom, that I may save them..."

The sun was already sinking below the horizon, and the entire clearing was plunged into darkness. I wasn't afraid. I knew the Spirits who accompanied me would help me find my way back to the settlement and watch over me whenever I needed their support. I often came to nearby clearings where our ancestors had dug deep holes in the ground, lining them with flat stones. This was where the bodies of the Council of Elders and all the tribe's significant figures were buried. In one of these holes, my grandmother, her grandmother, and her grandmother's grandmother were buried. This was our tomb, its walls adorned with symbols of eternity, wisdom, and enlightenment. I leaped to my feet and ran down the hill. Some of the Spirits accompanied me. I passed many rounded mounds where entire families were buried. Insignificant families in the tribe, families who didn't deserve stone tombs. There were plenty of them here. They surrounded the temple on all sides. I found myself among the trees again. I didn't have to go far to stumble upon a stone entrance leading steeply underground. I knew every detail of this tomb perfectly. I leaned forward, leaning against the side wall, and began to descend. The stench of decaying flesh filled my nostrils. I sat down on a stone forming the floor and looked at the ledge carved into the rock, on which my grandmother's body lay. It was covered with skins, and around it lay dried bouquets of wildflowers.

"You were the only one who knew the truth," I whispered, wiping away my tears. "I hated you for not telling me everything... Because you knew more than you were telling me. You only said you found me by the river. I didn't remember anything. Who I was, what I was doing... For reasons I'll never understand, you took me in. You, of all people, who so shun strangers! You named me Tallija, which means wet with dew." I still remember how long I sat by the fire with you and how you explained our tribal legends and customs. How you told me about the Spirits, the Earth, and the Goddess. Everything I know now comes from you..." I fell silent, feeling a lock of hair fall over my shoulder. I lifted it to eye level. My hair was white. White as the whitest snow. "I knew I wasn't from your tribe, even though I'd started calling it mine. I sensed it not only because you were the only one who spoke to me, but also because of my hair. None of you had white hair. Only the old men. And me? Why did you remain silent and take the secret with you...?"

I couldn't speak any further. A piercing silence fell over the old tomb. I lowered my head, rubbing my arms. It was cold. It must have been late at night. However, that wasn't my concern. I could orient myself remarkably well in the darkness. I traced the carefully polished stone walls with my eyes. I saw signs and symbols, some of which I myself had carved when my grandmother died. Or rather, the one who claimed to be her. Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned and saw the translucent figure of a shrunken, wrinkled woman with thin, white hair falling down a hunched back. She had blue, wise eyes and thin, vein-lined hands.

"Grandma..." I whispered.

"Tallija," she said in a soft, repetitive voice, "I couldn't tell you what I knew. I couldn't expose you to danger. You had become too dear to my old heart." In you, I have found a confidante and a worthy successor to the Craft. Don't fear, the time for answers will come very soon. Everything will become clear.

"Grandma..."

However, the apparition vanished, fading in the first rays of dawn. The sun streamed through the tomb's entrance, illuminating the dead body. I looked toward the exit.

"Tallija, return, return to the settlement..." I heard the voices of my Spirits. "They need you. They need your help..."

I jumped up from the cold stone and ran outside. The first clouds were gathering in the sky, heralding the coming rain. I had been running for a long time, but when I saw the outline of my settlement on the horizon, my legs began to fail me. I was exhausted. I forced myself to run even faster. I sensed that something bad was happening in the settlement. A rider on a brown steed was riding toward me from the opposite direction. I recognized him as the Guardian of the Earth. I stopped on the road and held out my hands to him. Still galloping, he caught me nimbly and pulled me up, seating me on his horse in front of him.

"Panic broke out in the settlement," he said, not waiting for my questions. "Knights were seen stationed not far from here. We're sure they'll attack tonight." He was silent for a moment, simply urging his horse on. "It was very unwise of you to leave the settlement for two days. People blame you for the Knights getting this far.

It wasn't my fault...! It wasn't my fault! ... We galloped into the settlement. The gates closed behind us with a bang. After a short while, we rode up the hill. When the horse stopped abruptly in front of the temple, we jumped to the ground. The Priests were already waiting for us inside. When we entered the chamber, the High Priest approached me and swung his sword, aiming to strike me in the face. At the last moment, however, the Spirits watching over me pushed him away from me with such force that he slammed into the opposite wall. Stunned, he clumsily tried to get up. I leaned over him.

"You want to accuse me of anything?" I hissed, narrowing my eyes ominously. "You, who neglected serving the Horned God to devote yourself to serving people?!" "That wasn't me, that wasn't me! I would never have dared to use that tone in front of the Great Priest!" "Don't you dare speak in my presence, you, who sold your soul to gold, not to the Great Consort."

He glared at me furiously, rising from the ground. The spirits surrounded me on all sides, ready to protect me. He said nothing more. He left, leaving us alone. Only when he disappeared around the corner did I breathe unevenly, leaning back against the wall.

"You shouldn't have risked his wrath. People know him. They will follow him; if he desires revenge, no one will be able to help you." The Guardian of the Air looked at me reproachfully.

"My trust is in our Mother." I fear nothing, especially not him. The High Priest's power is limited only to humans. My authority extends to the Spirits.

"What do you propose we do?" asked the Earth Guardian.

"We still need to harvest the remaining crops so we don't starve during a siege. Order the people to bring water from the river and close the settlement gates before sunset. Hurry."

They left, but I saw surprise and uncertainty in their eyes. Why did I behave like this? Where did all this come from...? Where did this confidence and determination come from? It wasn't me! I changed my clothes and entered the temple. I knelt before the white stone and gazed into the clay bowl filled to the brim with water. For a moment, the whirlpool was unbroken by any vision. That moment seemed an eternity. Suddenly, the water stopped, and what I saw made me scream and tip the bowl over, spilling its contents onto the ground. I groaned, covering my eyes with my hands.

"Mother...!" I moaned, desperately raising my trembling hands to the sky. "Golden Goddess of Love and Power, drive away the shadows of this dark age, warm the cold with your blessing, and guide me on the luminous path! I beg you, do not abandon me. Do not abandon me, Mother! "

Yet the Goddess remained deaf to my call. I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to! I curled up on the floor of the Sanctuary like a small child. I buried my face in my arms, sobbing desperately.

"Wise Crone, gracious Mother, and beautiful Virgin, hear me. Do not cast me from your bosom! I beg you...! Not in times of greatest trial..." I cried.

But something inside me told me that no one would listen.

The prolonged howling of wolves roused me from my sleep. I sat up in my bed, staring into the darkness. For a moment, I felt as if the wolves were right next to me. Their howls filled the entire temple and pounded in my ears. I stood up and stepped outside. The cold wind made me cringe. Wolves? They were afraid to approach the settlement. Had hunger driven them all this way? But why? The full moon illuminated the slumbering settlement. Silvery light fell on the small cottages, stone streets, and squares where traders gathered. Mindlessly, I headed towards the settlement. Something told me not to wait any longer, that there was something there I absolutely had to see. I hurried, shivering. When I finally reached the first cottages, the scent of blood filled my nostrils. I stopped, speechless with terror, feeling my feet suddenly sink into something warm. I stood in a huge pool of blood. A piercing scream tore from my throat. I ran to the opposite wall for support, but the wall... that wall, too, was drenched in blood! I stumbled backward, tripping over something lying on the ground. I didn't have to turn around to know I'd tripped over a corpse. Only now, in the moonlight, did I see bodies, scores of bodies with split skulls, bulging eyes, hands clutched at the ground, and twisted limbs. Terrified, I ran through the settlement, the ominous howls of wolves accompanying my steps. I had to find the Guardians; only they could help me. My breathing became wheezing and ragged, and my legs buckled beneath me, refusing to obey. Finally, I reached a tall, octahedral building. The door was forced open. I slowly climbed up to enter. A gruesome sight met my eyes. The cut and bloody body of the Fire Keeper hung on one wall. He was suspended by two nails driven into his arms.

"Please don't..." I moaned, sobbing helplessly. "Please don't..."

I tried to pull him down, to wake him. But the Fire Keeper was dead. Suddenly, the howling of the wolves stopped. I froze, listening with a pounding heart to the quiet padding of the wolf's paws. I slowly turned toward the entrance. A huge, silver wolf with glowing eyes was heading my way. He stared at me, baring his fangs menacingly. Suddenly, he broke into a run, and I only had time to shield myself with my arms before his heavy bulk pinned me to the ground.

- No... - I moaned, trying to push him away - NO!