7

Why...?

" "We have to go back to the city," he replied, simply buttoning up his armor.

In silence, I dressed in my flowing gray priestly robe, embroidered with wildflowers and fastened with a large brown clasp. I placed wide brown bracelets on my arms and ankles, and let my hair loose over my shoulders. Qajin was also ready. He looked impressive in his black armor. We both returned to the camp. It seemed everyone was waiting for us. Riona handed me the reins of my mount.

"Let's go," she said, galloping into the forest.

We followed her. Slowly, our march plunged deeper and deeper into a dense forest filled with gigantic trees with spreading crowns. The intertwined branches barely let in any light. It was getting darker and darker. Suddenly, the face of a high mountain appeared before my eyes. It rose to a height of several meters, surrounded on all sides by trees, almost invisible from a distance. A narrow path led us down a gentle slope, as if we were descending a mountain. However, we soon found ourselves in a vast cave, full of stones, boulders, and sand. There were no trees or shrubs here. Only small fields of crops surrounded a shallow lake, somewhere deep inside the cave, formed by water dripping from the ceiling. Large boulders, several meters wide, like stone columns, supported the rocky outcrops above our heads. And somewhere below, I saw brown huts surrounded by a small rampart of earth and dead branches. At the sight of their high, conical roofs, the smoke rising from the fires, my heart leaped in my chest. Unconsciously, I tightened my grip on Etain's reins. I gazed at the vastness of the cave, completely cut off from the green of the forest, from the softness of the grass... Meanwhile, we rode on. We descended along a wide track. The clatter of the wheels echoed softly against the vastness of the gigantic walls. Long rays of sunlight penetrated just enough to allow for peaceful living and for plants to grow. We passed one of these large columns, passed by withered bushes and tufts of grass, until we finally found ourselves at the wooden gate of a large settlement. People ran out to meet us. Mothers and children greeted their husbands. Their joyful shouts and laughter rang in my ears. I followed Qajin, Riona, and four other warriors, who rode toward the furthest hut, slightly larger than the others, with a large deer antler hanging above the entrance door. A tall, muscular man in the prime of life stepped forward. He had shoulder-length, wheat-colored hair and a long, thick mustache. His narrow eyes regarded us serenely. He wore narrow trousers and a wide, dark green shirt. On his feet were laced leather sandals. He raised his open hand in greeting and watched us dismount. Qajin embraced him warmly. Riona and the warriors did the same when it was my turn, and I bowed to him. I had no choice but to do so. I refused to approach him. Although he radiated peace, I felt a sense of aversion towards him. He stared at me for a moment, then slipped into the hut, whose entrance was covered by a heavy cloth. We followed him. Inside, spears, shields bound with iron ribbons, and animal skins were arranged in a circle against the stone walls. We sat around the dying fire. I instinctively added more wood to it, making sure it didn't go out. By the time I realized what I was doing, it was too late.but I only met Qajin's amused eyes. I smiled uncertainly, sitting down next to him.

"I'm extremely glad you've returned safe and sound, and that Lewuda has returned to us." He didn't even glance in my direction. "We'll have food and drink again for a while. A neighboring tribe has declared war on us. They believe we have countless treasures here. A harsh winter is coming. Both they and we must prepare for the worst. Forgive me for troubling you with this so soon after your return, but today, during the Rite of Return, remember to offer prayers to the Great Goddess and the Horned God, that they may not spare us their protection this winter either." He fell silent for a moment. "Now, go and rest, friends. We've been waiting for you for a long time..."

We rose from the fire and slowly left the hut. A single wagon full of hides, robes, gold, and jewelry was already waiting for us.

"This is for us," he smiled at me and led his horse toward the lake.

I followed him, pulling our tired mounts behind me. We left the settlement filled with joyful shouts and the joy of returning. Qajin lived a little way off. His hut was built almost on the lake's shore, solely to ensure that the various herbs planted in the cucumber garden, surrounded by a low wooden fence, had enough water to grow. Now, however, the garden was neglected, overgrown with weeds, and most of the herbs had withered. In a small corral nearby, I unsaddled the horses and looked helplessly at the boy unloading the wagon. He sensed my gaze. He approached me and, taking my hand, led me into the hut. There were no cold walls here like in the King's hut. Every inch of cold stone was covered with fabric embroidered with various magical symbols and runes. In the center stood a fireplace, the smoke escaping through a small hole in the soaring roof. To our right, behind a tall wooden chest, was a large, soft bearskin bed. To my left, I saw bowls, dried herbs, clay jugs of water and wine, dried meat and spears, swords, and gold. He almost forced me onto the bed. For a moment, he looked into my eyes. I saw indecision and fear in his eyes. But why? Why was he afraid? Impulsively, I snuggled closer to him. He enveloped me in the warmth of his body.

"Don't be afraid," I whispered. "I'm here...

" "I missed you... I couldn't forget... I couldn't live... Lewuda... I can't live without you... I longed for you with my whole body... my whole soul yearned for you...

" "Why didn't you come... Why did you keep me waiting?

" "I couldn't help it.

" "But why..."

He moved away from me, sitting on the trampled ground. He hung his head low. He looked terrible. As if I were doing him a great disservice with this question.

"Qajin... will you tell me, please, why?"

- What if... - he suddenly turned towards me and took my face in both hands - What if I told you that it would be better for you if you didn't know...? If you didn't remember what happened before? If you lived knowing only this part of your life, you would surely be much happier...

- ... Qajin...

- Believe me, Lewuda, I never wanted you to be evil, I always protected you, I would give my life for you and I don't want to see you cry and suffer anymore... I brought you here so you could be happy, so I could protect you and be with you... please trust me...

- I want to remember, Qajin... now that I know... when I'm so close... to discovering who I really am... don't take this away from me!

"I can't..." he shook his head, pressing my face ever tighter in his hands. "If you're to learn about this, the time will come, but you won't learn anything from me... I don't want to cause you pain...

" "Qajin... don't do this to me... don't take away my chance...

" "No, Lewuda. I'll do anything for you, but you won't learn this from me."

I looked into his eyes for a moment. There was fear in them, but also determination. I knew that if he said so, it would probably be so. Even though I was eager to finally learn the truth about my life, I didn't ask him again. Suddenly, my stomach rumbled loudly. I laughed and rose from the bed.

"I'll do us something good," I said. "And you probably still have a cart to unload, right?"

I heard a quiet sigh of relief behind me. He was briskly carrying more and more loot into the hut. Within moments, it was filled with valuables. And over the fire, a large cauldron of deer stew was smoking. We sat down together by the fire and began to eat. We talked about the journey, the settlement, and what I had been doing at the temple of the Great Goddess. I told him about my life with an openness I had never been able to display with anyone before. I felt a strange connection to him. And I could see in his eyes that he felt the same way. Our closeness made me finally feel peace and quiet within my soul for the first time in many months. We also talked about the upcoming Ritual of Return. Qajin instructed me on what I was to do and how I was to behave. I learned things that were completely new to me, and yet they were familiar to me...