3

 Julia stood gazing at the setting sun, its rays casting red and purple streaks across the clouds. Standing on the mountain's ridge, her thoughts returned to what had happened over the past six months. True, not much of that had been glorious, and even less had been amusing. And yet she wouldn't change it for thousands of days of happiness, hundreds of smiles, thousands of praises, millions of kind words and gestures.

She sat cross-legged, staring at the sunset. Even though the cold wind pierced her, she didn't flee. She sat motionless, staring into the distance with unseeing eyes. How long ago it had been. How long since she'd seen the demon. And yet she still felt him close to her. She could have been with him now. She had even done what he asked of her. And yet, to no avail. Three months ago. Three long months ago, her vacation had begun. A vacation like no other. Without the demon, she had endured three more. Three that seemed like an eternity. She lived, she was, she existed. And yet her soul was withering. She felt increasing fatigue, increasing despair, sadness, and even anger. Anger at herself for having acted so foolishly. For having renounced love. That love that is for the few and that only a few can understand. Well, the finish line was a few steps away. But those steps were seven miles. The demon was gone. His hunched figure and sad hazel eyes haunted her in her dreams. Yet it wasn't him, it was his illusion. He left her alone. He knew she had already made her decision. Rejected, he couldn't influence her; such were the rules of his world. Only when consciously summoned in great despair could he be with her. Julia began to fall ill. True, not in body, but in soul. But how much more terrible is the illness of the soul than the body? The body can be cured, suffering can be endured, but the soul can never be cured; it can only be healed. To forget for a moment, so that some small detail can recall everything anew. That is the curse of humanity. Memory. Cruel and deceptive. He remembers everything that is bad, he doesn't remember everything that is good.

Julia was alive, but it was as if she were dead. She walked, ate, studied, and talked, but more often she ran away from people, more often she sat alone, lost in thought, with a sad face and tears in her eyes. What was she thinking about then? Only she knew. Probably about the demon. About the vanity of the world. The cruelty of people. And the hopeless situation she found herself in. She no longer wanted to be a good girl. She wanted to scream, she wanted to run as fast as she could, not to stop at anyone's request. She wanted to escape; this rush of escape made her fade before her eyes, making her want to disappear as quickly as possible, to be alone. Finally, she could no longer pretend to be the eternally content, purposeful Julia. She decided to be with the demon. She already knew that life without his visits was tasteless, that she couldn't cope with the grayness of everyday life, that she couldn't think logically without the knowledge that he would visit her in her dreams. She couldn't bear the thought of someone else already in love. She felt she had destroyed herself. She was tired of pretending, tired of playing the role she had created over the years. She wanted to escape, to escape the cage she had locked herself in. She wanted to, yet she didn't have the key, so she was left with only one solution: death. One dark and cold night, she took happiness pills that were supposed to make her dreams come true. But things turned out differently; they transported her there for only four wonderful days, followed by a series of gray weeks and months. Locked in her room, she wrote a few words, saying she was sorry for her grief, but that life would be easier without her, for she had changed so much that she could no longer play herself. She left for four wonderful days, four days of peace, four days of silence, four days that made up for those three gray months. She called to him. She fell asleep in his arms. For the first time in many nights. She felt warmth and joy. She was with him. They exchanged only a few words, yet it seemed to her that they had been talking forever. Because they had. They spoke telepathically. Their entire world turned brownish-blue. They saw nothing. They felt nothing but the happiness they derived from being together. The demon had changed in that time. His love for the Earthling had worn him down. Blue streaks had appeared in his raven-black hair. Those youthful sparks had vanished from his eyes. His muscles had become limp. But when he saw her, he was rejuvenated. He was sincere again, but at the same time, he was terrified. He was afraid it wouldn't work out, that she would leave at the last minute, that she would abandon him. He knew he wouldn't survive this again. That he would be miserable forever, that he would drown his sorrows in harming others. And yet, he had exposed himself. He arrived when he heard her soft whisper. After all, he had been with her the whole time. He had seen her sadness in the school hallway, as she sat hunched over, her face buried in her arms. He wanted to approach her. He wanted to, but the glassy shell held him back. Now that she had called him, nothing could stop him. He ran, despite warnings, rushed, despite prohibitions. Like a moth flying into a fire, knowing in advance that it would perish. Yet, when he was near her, he felt happy, and he knew he wouldn't change that.They sailed away for four days to his kingdom. Darkness enveloped them. A few stars dimly illuminated their world. Despite this, they were happier than ever. All the creatures living in the Valley of Darkness marveled at the change that had taken place in the Demon since Julia had come to live with him. He had stopped shrieking across the valley like a tornado. He no longer destroyed anything; he was filled with joy, so that every day there were wild celebrations, set to the rhythm of infernal music. Nymphs and demons danced in frenzied dances before them, and they, with eyes blinded to nothing but themselves, watched this creation.

However, their happiness didn't last long. In the hospital's sterility, their end was dawning. Throngs of people dressed in white coats tried to bring Julie back to life. Connected to an artificial life source, she breathed. Only occasionally, when with the Demon, did she feel a pain in her throat. Such a connection with the reality she was returning to. And finally, that terrible day arrived. A great light spread throughout the Valley of Darkness. White hands began to tear Julie from the Demon's embrace. She screamed and struggled, but to no avail. The Demon could no longer hold her. This invisible white force pulled her so tightly that she couldn't breathe. Suddenly, the gate through which Julia had disappeared closed. With a final glance, she caught sight of the Demon, who was gazing in her direction with a sad and ominous gaze. She saw him kneeling, his arms outstretched toward her, tears welling up in his eyes. He was screaming, and his cry of pain circled the Valley of Darkness at the speed of light. She closed her eyes to keep the tears from welling up. After all, she had promised the Demon she would never cry again. Suddenly, she opened them, blinded by a brightness. She felt immense pain; she couldn't say a word, but wanted to scream. She couldn't raise her arms, but wanted to struggle. She was so weak she couldn't even turn her head. Her entire body was convulsed with immense pain. She didn't know where she was. Her brain worked slowly, very slowly. After a brief moment, she realized she was far from the Demon. That the life forces of the Valley of Darkness had taken her! By sheer force of will, she turned her head away from the nurse who had come to her like an emissary from the world, asking if she was feeling alright and why she had done this. Julia glanced at the window, which revealed a fragment of a green tree. It reminded her of the moment with the demon. Tears welled in her eyes and she began to sob.

She turned her head and saw her parents. She felt nothing at the sight of them. Seeing her tears, they thought she regretted what she had done and that she loved them. But no, her soul was now hers alone, or rather, the Demon's. She was a walking body, without a soul. A burned-out wreck of a human being. She wanted to die. She wanted to be far away again, far from this earthly world, far from the people who loved her, whom she no longer wanted to know, and for whom she no longer felt anything. Finally, she was left alone. She wanted to rip out the tubes of life that sustained her reflexes. It failed; she was bound, like a prisoner of life. She wanted to scream, but through the tube she could say nothing. Finally, she fell asleep. She felt the Demon's presence. He held her hand. He stroked her face with his large hands. She wanted to escape with him, but she couldn't, and he couldn't do anything about it. A higher power was tearing them apart. Clearly, it wasn't their time yet. Julia nestled in his warmth. Yet with each successive drip, life seeped into her. She fell deeper and deeper into a deep sleep, and more and more she could be with the demon, as close as she had once been. Yes, she felt him, but only felt him. They communicated telepathically. Once, that had been enough for them, but now it wasn't. Now they were used to something better. With each passing day, she lost her mental strength, giving way to physical strength. Her body healed, but her soul was in the Valley of Darkness. Daily visits from her loved ones, and those not so close, made her want to die again.

Finally, she went to the house of broken souls. In the magical city of Krakow, she found beings just like her. Locked in the cage of everyday life, searching for a way to escape. Doomed to suffering and misfortune. She wanted to escape as quickly as possible, pretending to be healthy. But it wasn't like that. She still wanted to die. At night, she cried and dreamed of dying. That some great force would annihilate her. That she would finally be with Him in His Magical World. Only there did she feel happy. Only with Him, and only there, did she feel truly herself. She could give as much of herself as she wanted and take as much as she wanted. The entire land of Darkness was her home. She felt herself growing in strength and power there. How her soul was calling out. How she was herself again. She no longer wanted to be an Earthling again, she didn't want to feel the chains of everyday life tightening around her neck. She wanted to die again. At home, she dreamed of death. But she couldn't anymore. She put it off for six months. Half a magical year, when she would settle all her mundane matters and be able to kill herself again. This time, it worked. After all, it's her life and her decision what to do with it. No one can force that on her. Die. Fall asleep. Be where she wants to be again.

The Demon is with her every day. She feels his presence. But only in solitude can she feel deeper with him. So she flees from people. Disappears. Dying from within. She burns slowly with an ever-increasing hiss. With ever-increasing masochism. When she wants to escape, when she wants to die, when she already has the steel blade in her hand, the Demon stops her. He strokes her cheek, sings their song in his hoarse voice, and she sobs softly, closes her eyes, and sways to the rhythm of his deep voice. But when the Demon, summoned from the Valley of Darkness, departs, she takes the steel blade and cuts herself. Red lines appear one after another on her hand. She bleeds more and more. It hurts more and more. Yet this pain is bearable; one might even say it's salvation. It allows her to drown out, if only for a moment, the pain of her heart and soul. Julia is no longer sleeping; she prefers to meditate during this time. She talks to the demon then. She laughs, cries, and is alive.

Dawn has become her enemy. It brings her back to reality. She must live again. She must, but not for another half a year. Together with the Demon, they cross off the days on the Dream Board hanging on the wall of their fortress in the Valley of Darkness. A sudden rush of wind wakes Julie from her thoughts. She hears people screaming. She slowly rises from the ground. The wind lashes her face like a whip. Julia ignores it. She straightens. Looking straight into the setting sun, she blows hot kisses at the demon. Falling dew falls on her lips. She knows it's a sign from the demon, that her greetings have reached him. Satisfied, if a little lost in thought, she returns to pretend she's alive again. Another day lies before her. But what a day it is. Just the everyday life of a body without a soul.