Stanisław&Fred: Meeting with Death

It was a rather hot day, and there was no sign of it changing within the next week. Nothing to do but lie around... And that's exactly what Stanisław (for that was the history teacher's name). He set up a deck chair in the garden and placed a jar with Fred's head under a tree nearby. He believed his head deserved a little fresh air every now and then, and after all, he didn't want to treat him like a prisoner. He just had to remember to keep his head in the shade... He'd once put it in the sun, then forgotten about it, and had to listen to Fred's whining about his headaches all night.

"Well, Fred, it's getting late, time to go home," he stretched, a sign of Fred's well-rested and angry expression, who had only his head at his disposal.

"How many times have I told you my name isn't Fred, it's Sergei?! Just let me know where you hid my body..."

"So? You'll unscrew the jar lid with your teeth and roll back to the body?" Oh, Fred..." he picked up the jar and carried it to the bedroom closet.

"Don't call me Fr." Stanisław slammed the door.

Stanisław went to the kitchen and prepared some cauliflower for dinner, and then watched a movie on TV...it wasn't good, but it was enough to make him want to sleep.

Just as he was about to go to set up the bed, someone knocked on the door. Stanisław shivered...it was...a strange knock, more like...a knock than a regular knock, but like...a lifeless knock...one that had lost the joy of knocking...

"Who's there? I hope it's something important, because it's already..."

"Mr. Stanisław Zarakowicz?" a voice said...strangely hollow and resonant at the same time...even worse than the knock on the door.

"Yes, but what..." the voice interrupted him again. "

Born on July 13, 1967 in Pruszanka at 5:51 PM?"

"Yes..." Stanisław put everything together and immediately knew who was behind the door. He opened it with a quick movement. "

I've come for you," Death said in the tone of a man who says it many times a day and is already sick of it.

"What?! I'm only 37! I eat healthily! I have no heart problems! I can't just die like that...

" "Cauliflower," Death interjected .

"I've always taken care of... what?" He felt disconcerted.

"Cauliflower," Death repeated.

"But what about cauliflower? "

"It wasn't fresh.

" "WHAT?! No one has ever died from eating stale cauliflower!"

"So you'll be the first..." Can we go now? There's a movie on TV at midnight that I'd like to see, and I didn't hit record...

" "No, no! This is about my life, and you're going to watch some nonsense?" Stanisław exclaimed. "Wait a minute... someone sent you here, right? Some demon I once exorcised?"

"We really have to go..." Death said, confused.

"That's impossible... at least let me play for my life..."

"Hmmm...I could actually. But the problem is, you, alive, have nothing to offer me."

Stanisław frowned...then got a brilliant idea and quickly ran to the bedroom, returning with a jar in which Fred was beginning to wake up.

"Now, man, you've gone too far..." He looked at Death and instantly woke up. "Stanisław, my darling! Anything but this, please!" Death was the only person who could harm Fred, who was immortal. "

Hmmm...I could play for that...what are you proposing?"

"I have a ton of money in banks all over the world...I'll give you everything!" Fred groaned.

"How about...we play Ludo?"

"Fine," Death said with undisguised satisfaction...he had been playing Ludo hundreds of years before Stanisław was born.

And they began to play. However, Stanisław turned out to be a better player than death could have suspected. After a few games, a scythe and a black robe appeared next to Stanisław, and a few games later, Stanisław gained 500 years of life.

"Well, that's enough of the good stuff," Stanisław stretched.

"But... I can't leave like this!" Death groaned. "What will people say?"

"Right... I'll give you something to wear," Stanisław replied.

Half an hour later, he put Fred, who was mumbling something about bestial behavior and not taking his roommate seriously, back on the shelf. He placed the scythe and folded robe next to his old exorcist equipment and went to sleep. And everything was as before...

Except for the people who died that night. It's impossible to describe how surprised they were when their souls, after leaving their bodies, saw a skeleton dressed in a thick, old winter coat with moths flying around it.