. The long-awaited chapter. I would like to apologize to you all for taking so long, but I simply didn't have time to start transcribing. So read on. Comments are welcome.
I'm doing everything I can. I still have a few things to take care of. There are medical tests at the orphanage...
" "Roll up your sleeve and grit your teeth," she said to A nurse held a syringe in her hand. I was semi-conscious. I couldn't wait to have my blood drawn. I staggered back to my room and threw myself on the bed. I'd get the results tomorrow. Why do I need another piece of paper? It was time to go to Maciek's. I had to explain that we couldn't be together. The streets were filled with sunlight. I reached Maciek's white house and rang the bell. The door opened.
"Oh, Adam, I wasn't expecting you. I'm leaving now.
" "Okay," I replied and sat down on the wall. I didn't have to wait long. Maciek came out and tried to kiss me goodbye, but I moved away.
"Maciek, no. That's exactly what I'd like to talk to you about.
" "No problem." We walked a long way. To my park. I looked at my house. I didn't miss my family. I missed my house, my apartment. All the things in it. We sat on the lawn. Silence fell.
"So what did you want to tell me?" He clearly grew impatient
. "Well... We can't meet. We have to break up. I told you about Kasia. I have a child with her. I mean, she's pregnant.
" "So what's the deal? You have a pregnant girlfriend, so you can't meet with me?
" "Yes, I can't and I don't want to. That's all.
" "Okay, if that's what you want, I'll respect that. Maybe I'll go now. Goodbye." Maciek got up and left. After [five minutes, I got up too and returned to the orphanage. I decided to spend the rest of the day alone.
***
The next morning, I was woken up by a knock on the door. I got up and opened it.
"A letter for you."
"Thanks," I replied, closing the door, still staring at the package. A letter from the hospital. These must be the test results. I opened the envelope and pulled out the letter. "
Notice:
You are requested to report to the clinic today to collect your test results.
Yours sincerely,
Mariusz Dudak,
MD."
I read the letter twice. "But why should I come for the results?" Everyone received them immediately. I got dressed and took the letter to the nurse.
"I don't know what this is about, but if you have to go, go," he replied, clearly confused. I put the letter in my pocket and headed for the clinic. I was afraid. I walked through the glass doors, and a chill ran down my spine. I stood at the registration window.
"Good morning, I received a letter." I pulled out the letter and handed it to the nurse. She read it clearly and seemed to know something I didn't. She looked at me with a motherly gaze.
"Honey, sit over there and wait your turn." I obediently sat down on the wooden bench. Minutes passed, and I grew increasingly afraid. Finally, the door opened, and I heard my name.
"Please come in," the young doctor said, entering the office, and I followed. I sat down on the couch.
"Are you here for the test results?
" "Yes, that's right
." "I don't have good news for you. We've done additional tests. You're HIV-positive. Do you know what that means?" A bomb went off in my head. I searched through everything I'd learned in biology class. "Seropositive...
" "Is it AIDS?
" "Not quite. You're not AIDS-positive yet. You have the HIV virus inside you. It causes AIDS. But it could take ten years before that happens. Until then, we'll be slowing down the process with medication. Unfortunately, this disease is fatal and incurable. Do you know how you could have been infected?"
"I had unprotected sex..." "I had nothing to hide. And I didn't care anymore...
" "You have to ask that person to get tested. Here are the leaflets and information that..." I stopped listening. My mind was somewhere far away.
"...Well, hang in there. Remember what I told you." I thanked him and left. I didn't know where to go. Once I'd entered the orphanage, the caregiver approached me.
"So, did you get your results? What were they like?" I pulled the paper with the results out of my pocket and wordlessly handed it to him. I headed toward the room. I had to come up with a plan. Did I get infected from Kasia or Maciek? They had to get tested. What if I infected someone? The caregiver and the teacher entered the room. Only then did I realize I was in tears. I quickly turned away, wiping my face and pretending to tie my shoe. Padagod was the first to start the conversation.
"Adam, we've seen your test results. We know what seropositive means." There was a silence, broken by the caregiver.
"You'll leave on Wednesday. You'll spend some time at the sanatorium. Pack up all the necessary things.
" "But that's in two days!" "I didn't want to leave so soon. I don't want to go at all.
" "Yes, in two days. You're free until then. I understand you have to take care of your own business." After these sentences, they stood up and left the room. Loneliness. I quickly came to my senses. I grabbed my jacket and ran outside...
Chapter X: Loneliness in a Crowd of People
. The next chapter has seen the light of day. I apologize to everyone for the state of the blog, but it's not up to me. The server where I had the template went down. I have to find a new template and transfer everything. But for now, I invite you to read and greet my regular readers.
I was running, and the streets were filled with people. I didn't care if I was pushing others. I had one goal: to reach Maciek and Kasia. Find out who infected me and if I had already infected anyone else. I banged on Maciek's door. It opened, and Maciek stood there with a look of surprise on his face.
"I knew you'd come to your senses and come back," he said with satisfaction
. "I haven't changed my mind at all." I pushed him into the hallway.
"I have HIV!! Do you know who I could have caught it from?! "
So what if you have HIV?! You could have caught it from me. I have it too. Didn't I tell you? Oh, what a shame." His eyes flashed menacingly. He didn't feel sorry at all. He consciously didn't admit it.
"Now, get out!" He pushed me out the door and slammed it. I took a few steps and collapsed to the ground. Rain began to fall. I lay on the ground, my tears mingling with the raindrops. An old woman with a maternal expression approached me.
"What's wrong, boy?" she asked, bowing to me. I sat down on the cold, wet concrete. I looked into the woman's green eyes. She was smiling at me.
"You remind me so much of my grandson." Her face grew sad, and a tear rolled down her cheek. I stood up and sat with the old woman on a nearby bench.
"What happened to your grandson?
" "He died... It's my fault... He was a drug addict... He overdosed... I could have reacted somehow... stopped him." She choked out between sobs. Suddenly, she hugged me and cried. I felt somehow more valuable.
"It's not your fault. Please don't blame yourself. It's really not your fault..." The old woman calmed down. She stopped crying.
"I have a favor to ask of you. Call me Grandma. It's very important to me. Could you do this for me?
" "Okay... Grandma." I smiled at her, and she beamed.
"I have to go, Grandma. I still have something to do. Goodbye. I hope we'll meet again."
"Me too." She hugged me again and walked away into the dark street. I headed in the opposite direction. In the direction I'd been afraid to go for the first time. Toward Kasia's house. The time and the drive stretched mercilessly. I stood in front of the house and didn't have the courage to ring the doorbell. I didn't have to, because Kasia opened the door.
"Adam, what are you doing here? Has something happened?" she said instead of greeting me, and she looked at me with concern.
"It happened. Unfortunately, it happened. Can I come in?
" "Go ahead," she replied, letting me through. I sat on the couch, and Kasia sat next to me. Why is all this happening to me? Why do I have to deal with this?
" "Kasia, you have to go for blood tests. I'm leaving tomorrow. They're sending me to a sanatorium because..." I fell silent.
"What tests? Why? Why are they sending you?" Kasia's mind was spinning. I had to force myself. End of the lie.
"They detected HIV in me. I got it from Maciek. I'm afraid you... You need to get tested.
" "Adam..." She choked out and threw her arms around my neck. She started crying. I hugged her, and tears streamed down my face as well.
"I won't leave you. We'll live with this together. I'll help you. Everything will be alright," she whispered. Her words rang in my head as I left. "Everything will be fine, I hope it will be." Kasia went for tests and I went back to the orphanage. To my room. Ramona was sprawled on the bed.
"Hey, Ramona, how's it going?
" "Shit," she turned her face towards me. "And where are you?
" "Same here, but I hope everything will be fine." I threw myself on my bed
. "I'm leaving tomorrow. Not of my own free will. They're sending me to some sanatorium." I finished and waited for Ramona's reply.
"So you'll have a vacation. The sanatorium is awesome. You do whatever you like.
" "Cool," I replied. I didn't want to discuss it. It wasn't "Cool" at all. It never will be.
We meet three kinds of people. Those who need us, those we need, and friends we like to be with. At that moment, I needed a lot of people. My soul was screaming. But no one heard it. ...
Chapter XI Do you hear the music playing far away?
And that's what XI Chapter. I wrote this chapter while I was still in the mountains. I hope you like it. And please leave comments because I'm not sure whether to continue writing or end the story. Best regards.
Six a.m. Wake up and leave. My bag was already waiting for me. Ramona was still asleep, her black hair falling over her face. I got dressed and, with my bag, went outside to where my car was waiting. I looked at the much-hated orphanage. Still, I didn't want to leave. I put my bag in the trunk and sat in the backseat. The driver went out to smoke. I turned and pressed myself against the rear window. Someone was running along the street toward me. She reminded me of someone. But it couldn't be...
"Kasia?!" I quickly got out of the car. Kasia ran up to me, panting and crying.
"I made it... I was already scared... I want to say goodbye... I had tests..." She tried to get it all out as quickly as possible, but her breathlessness wouldn't let her.
"Seropositive!" Kasia fell to her knees. I knelt beside her and looked into her eyes. They were a wonderful blue. They blurred with tears.
"Remember what you told me? We'll live with this together. Everything will be alright." I smiled at her, and she smiled back.
"Oh, Adam, what would I do without you?" She hugged me
. "Now let's get up or we'll get sick again," I said, and helped Kasia stand.
"I have to go. We'll see each other in a while. I'll write a lot. Take care of them." I placed my hand on her belly. Kasia smiled again and placed her hand on mine.
"I definitely will. Don't worry." I approached Kasia and kissed her goodbye.
"See you later," I whispered, and returned to the car. "
Let's go," I said to the driver, and the car began to move. I opened the window and looked out. Kasia was standing there waving. I waved back, and at that moment the car began to pick up speed...
We were already behind Safaga. We were hurtling along the wide highway. I was tired of the questions, "How much longer?" and "Where are we going?" because the driver wasn't inclined to talk. Finally, we turned onto a narrow street, and in front of us stood the tall building of a sanatorium. We stopped.
"Get out, you bastard," the driver grumbled .
"What did you call me?
" "Just like you heard. Not only am I a faggot, but I'm also a piece of shit." I knew why he didn't want to talk to me. He must have heard my story from the orphanage's caretaker. I quickly grabbed my bag and headed into the building. I entered the hall and left my bag. And what next? But a young boy was already walking towards me. He was no older than 19.
"Adam, right?
" "Yes
." "I'm Jacek. Nice to meet you." I'll take you to the room that will be your home for the duration of your stay at the center." It seemed to me that Jacek knew this spiel by heart.
"There are three meals a day. At 8:00, 1:00, and 6:00 p.m." He continued on the way to the room.
"You'll also have rehabilitation, relaxation, and psychological sessions." We finally reached the room.
"That's all for now. Have a pleasant stay."
"Thank you." I took my bag from Jacek and went into the room. It was a spacious room with a bathroom, a TV, and a large wardrobe. I put my bag in the wardrobe and threw myself onto the soft bed.
"Maybe it'll be a vacation?" It was approaching 1 p.m. If I understood correctly, dinner was supposed to be at that time. I got up and left the room. I just don't know where the dining room is. A short girl came out of the room next door. I had no other choice.
"Hi, I'm Adam. I'm new here and I don't know where the dining room is. Can you help me?
" "Hi, I'm Wiktoria. Nice to meet you. Of course I'll help you. I'm on my way there. Follow me." We walked along the long corridor and down the stairs. We reached a door with a sign above it that said "DINING ROOM."
"So here we are." I'm eating at that table over there, but unfortunately, there are no free seats." She pointed to the table on the right.
"But there's an empty one right across from me, so you can sit there. That's it for now." Wiktoria marched to the table on the right, and I went to the table in the middle. Three boys and two girls were sitting at the table. I sat down in an empty seat
. "Hi everyone, I'm Adam
- Kamil -
Radek
- Dominika
- Malwina
- Mateusz - Mateusz
. "Nice to meet you all," I managed, and we ate dinner.
I was already back in my room with my entire escort. Kamil, Radek, Dominika, Malwina, Mateusz, and Wiktoria walked me right to the door, laughing at my jokes.
"That's it for now. See you later." I entered the room and saw the schedule on the table. I have a session with a psychologist in the common room near the dining room in an hour. I'll get some sleep by then.
I got up after an hour and went down to the common room. The chairs were arranged in a circle. Some had already taken their seats. I sat down and waited. The room slowly filled until all the seats were occupied. The psychologist came in.
"Hello. I see a new face." She looked at me. "So, let me introduce myself. My name is Daria and I'm the psychologist here. What's your name?" She turned to me. I knew what was coming.
"My name is Adam
." "Okay, Adam. Tell me where you're from and why you're here.
" "Well, as I was saying, my name is Adam. I come from Safaga. I'm here because... because I have... HIV." Whispers broke out. I should have expected this. "I
already know a lot about it. You can't get infected by being in the same room with someone or by shaking hands. You can only get infected through blood or sexual intercourse, which is probably impossible under these conditions." I laughed quietly, hoping the others would get the joke too. But the quiet whispers were interrupted only by the psychologist.
Okay, that's enough. Let's get to class...
After class, I returned to my room alone. My happiness fled me as quickly as it had arrived. I threw myself on the bed and thought the idyll was over. The finger-pointing and the sarcastic texts would begin. However, someone knocked on the door. I got up and opened it, and six people were standing in front of the door.
"Can we come in?" I stepped aside without a word. They all entered and sat on the bed. I sat down next to them.
"We wanted to tell you that it doesn't matter that you have HIV," Mateusz began. "You're one of us, and we want to be friends with you." Mateusz extended his hand first. Malwina placed her hand on Mateusz's, and the others placed theirs on Malwina's. With some hesitation, I placed my hand too, and I felt my life changing for the better.
Chapter XII: Searching for Our Whispers, the Gentle Touch of Our Lips
. And so begins the next chapter. Thank you so much for the numerous visits; the count has already exceeded 1,700. Thanks also for the comments. There were as many as 13 recently. Best regards, and I apologize for the delay in publishing this chapter. Read on and let me know what you think :D
I woke up this morning in my spacious room. However, it wasn't the sun that woke me from my sleep, but an insistent knock on the door. I jumped out of bed, threw on some clothes, and opened the door. The courier was standing there.
"Sorry to wake you, but they said you were in your room, and I have to deliver this letter in person." He handed me a narrow brown envelope.
"Thanks," I replied, signed a piece of paper, and closed the door. Stunned, I sat on the edge of the bed, still staring at the envelope in my hands. In one swift movement, I opened it and pulled out the white slip.
It is with the deepest regret that we inform you that your father died last night from alcohol poisoning. The funeral will take place tomorrow (Wednesday) afternoon. For more information, please ask the parish priest or the informed family. Our condolences.
Family Care Home.
I read the letter a second time. Another piece of paper announcing bad news. My father had done me a lot of harm, and yet I felt bad. I don't know why. I don't understand my reaction. I put the letter back on the shelf. Sleep had completely vanished from me. I pulled on jeans and my favorite black shirt. What should I do? I have to go home quickly. I stood in front of the mirror, and my pride was restored. I noticed that I was handsome after all. I left the room. I went downstairs and stood in front of the reception desk.
"Good morning. I need to know where a caregiver is. Will you tell me?
" "Yes, of course." The receptionist smiled, revealing his missing teeth.
"In room two. The one on the right." He pointed to a door with red upholstery and a black number two sticker.
- Thanks.
I went to the door and knocked. A sleepy Jacek opened the door. He was completely naked, which surprised me greatly.
"Adam... Oh fuck!" He looked down. He understood and quickly slammed the door. I waited. After two minutes, the door opened again, but this time Jacek was in a black scarf.
"Sorry, I forgot about the clothes. What did you want?" He smiled and tried to pretend nothing had happened. He couldn't.
"Yes. I got a letter. My father died. The funeral is tomorrow, and I'd like to attend. Will I get something like a leave of absence?"
"Oh yes. I'm sorry. Of course you can go. Go upstairs, grab the things you need, and come downstairs. I'll take you. Now, if you'll let me..." He gestured to his scant clothing and his room.
"Yes, yes, of course." I turned and went back to my room.
"The things you need..." I whispered to myself. I grabbed my backpack and stuffed a shirt and black pants inside. I think that's all. My question wasn't much. I slung my backpack over my shoulder and reached the exit. Now all I had to do was wait for Jacek. Ten minutes later, I finally arrived. Jacek was dressed in a suit. Prepared for any occasion.
"So, where are we going?" I was about to open my mouth and say the address, but as if reading my mind, Jacek beat me to it.
"I have the address. That red BNW is mine. Get in." I quickly settled into the comfortable seat. We set off, leaving the sanatorium far behind. After a long drive, we finally arrived. We stopped in front of the gray building that houses the orphanage.
"Why did we come here?
" "This is your home. You're registered here. I called before arriving. They have information about everything here. They're waiting for you and..." Jacek fell silent for a moment, as if wondering whether to continue.
"And?" "I wanted to know who else was waiting for me." Jacek had no choice.
"And your mother, if you'd like to talk to her." I looked into space, but my vision went completely blank. Memories came flooding back. The good ones from my early childhood and the bad ones from later. Jacek interrupted my thoughts.
"Come on, let's go, they're definitely waiting." We passed through the door and were greeted by Mr. Romek, my guardian.
"Hello, Adam. I'm sorry we're meeting under these circumstances. Adam, as you already know, your father has passed away. You'll spend the night here and go to the funeral tomorrow. Your mother is waiting for you and would like to talk to you. You're 16 now, and you have to decide for yourself if you want this." Mr. Roman finished and waited for a clear answer. He was right. I'm 16 now. I'd completely forgotten about having another birthday.
"Okay, I'll meet my mother.
" "Go to your room. Your mother will be there soon." I headed in a familiar direction. I opened the door to the room and saw Ramona.
"Adam?! You here? Shouldn't you be at your sanatorium?" Ramona fired a series of questions at me.
"Hi Ramona. It's nice to see you too. I'm back for my father's funeral. My mother should be here soon, so I'd appreciate it if you'd please come out." At that moment, there were a few knocks on the door, and a tall, slim woman entered the room. She was pretty and well-groomed. This time, she wasn't wearing a short red miniskirt, but a long black dress and a black blouse, as befits a widow. She stood in the doorway and looked at me. I hadn't even noticed Ramona leave the room.
"Adam..." My mother began shyly. "
I didn't want it to be like this. I've been here for an hour. They told me everything about what happened to you. I really didn't know. I'm sorry." I sensed a falseness in her voice. A sudden surge of emotion? She hadn't been interested in me for all these years, and now she's apologizing and saying she didn't know. She could have found out!! I couldn't forgive her so easily.
"You don't even know how much I've been through!" Stupid stories reveal nothing! It's all inside me! Do you understand?! IN ME! - I turned my face away. Genuine tears were streaming down my mother's cheeks. She hid her face in her hands. She sobbed quietly. I couldn't bear it. Everything inside me was throbbing, and she was showing weakness. I wanted to run out of the room, but I couldn't. Too much running. Long-forgotten problems must be solved.
- Mom - How strange that sounds coming from my mouth.
- Everything will be alright... Don't worry... I'm not asking for more than you can give me. - I did the most unexpected thing. I hugged her and cried on her shoulder. There are things even the greatest scientists could never have dreamed of. Love is certainly one of them...
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