Because only my body matters"

Late autumn. The sun barely shines, there are no leaves on the trees. Everything is gray and gloomy. People walk around angry, shouting at everyone, and not looking back.

In a crowded pub, two people are sitting at the bar. He, a blond with shoulder-length hair in a black coat. She, a brunette with hair past her shoulders in a black sleeveless blouse. Two beers are in front of them. She plays with a straw, and he tells her jokes. Suddenly, she smiles and hugs him. He practically smothers her in his bear hug.

"Okay, stop it. You're going to suffocate me!

" "You started it," he said with a laugh.

"I know, because I've missed you, Sunshine. We haven't talked in so long. I missed you," she said in a slightly melancholic voice.

"I love you too, Beautiful." He threw his arm over her shoulder and pulled her close, using his other hand to tangle her hair.

"Stop it! My hair will get messed up." And what will I look like when Michał comes over? – she said with a slight accusation in her voice.

– Well, I wanted to ask earlier, where is your boyfriend? What are you thinking?! You think you can go to parties alone, and he's home alone, poor guy – he tried to say it in a serious voice, but after a moment he smiled.

– He'll come. Soon. And if not, we'll go to the club and he'll show up. Don't worry, he'll show up.

– I think – he sighed dramatically. – And anyway, how are things going with you? I haven't seen you anywhere for ages.

– We barely have time. You know, my studies, his work. We'll barely find time to see each other, let alone talk about parties. But everything's fine between us – she finished the sentence in one breath, smiling.

They continued to sit, sipping their beers. They talked about school, work, and their significant others. After half an hour had passed, they started getting dressed and headed out. Everyone was staring at them, and here and there someone could be heard saying, "Are they together? Since when?" But they just kept walking, smiling to themselves.

There were quite a few young people at the pub entrance. Among them were Ala and Magda. When he and she left the pub, Ala stood up.

"How long can we wait for you? Did you give birth there or something? Shall we go for another drink?" Ala said quickly.

"Yes, we're going. Adrian's coming with us because he's also going to the party. You won't mind, will you?" She glanced at Ala and Magda. Seeing no objection, she moved forward.

The four of them went to the liquor store and bought themselves a beer. On their way to the party, they were talking nonsense, making everyone laugh constantly. No one seemed to notice the cold. Everyone had their jackets unzipped, and Adrian was grabbing everyone's scarves. Suddenly, she let out a squeal of joy. She ran a few meters, jumping, and threw her arms around a guy's neck. It was Michał, whom everyone knew well. He was wearing a leather coat, dark, short hair, and a look that attracted all the girls.

"Michał, I thought you'd never show up. See how all these girls are tormenting me?" Laughing, Adrian approached Michał and offered him his hand. Meanwhile, Ala and Magda, resentful, attacked Adrian, hitting him with scarves.

"We tormented you?! You don't know what torment is yet!" Ala and Magda said almost simultaneously.

"Okay, okay." If you want to lie to yourselves, then so be it," Adrian said, dodging the scarves.

"Oh, you nasty monkey," Ala said, no longer knowing how to insult him.

"Leave the poor guy alone," Michał said in a serious tone.

Everyone calmed down and continued walking towards the party. She and Michał hung back. Michał was serious and sad. She tried to make him laugh somehow, but it just didn't work. Finally, she gave up and let Michał talk. It wasn't really talking, but rather complaining about the whole world, including going to the party she was dragging him to. Michał's voice wasn't angry, but a slight reproach he didn't even try to hide. So she walked with her head down, not knowing what to say. As they sat in the park drinking the beer they'd bought, Michał barely said a word.

The situation at the party hadn't changed. Michał wasn't having fun, he was just drinking beer after beer. She tried to get him going and encourage him to dance. After an hour, she succeeded. They even started laughing together. Kissing. They danced a slow song. However, after midnight, she decided she wanted to go home because she was tired. Michał didn't object.

They walked hand in hand. They didn't say anything, basking in each other's presence. She suddenly stopped and, rising on tiptoe, kissed her passionately on the lips. Michał gently pushed her away.

"Come faster, we'll be late," he said seriously.

"But I want to kiss you, can't I?" She wasn't at all bothered by his outburst of anger.

"I don't want you to kiss me. There are people here.

" She looked around the empty street, lit only by streetlights.

"Now show me where those people are." She looked at him with a scowl. "Why can't I even kiss you when I want?"

"Because you only notice my body. You look at me like I'm a piece of meat with no brain," Michał said, his voice rising. "

Why do you say that? Have I ever given you a reason to? It's not true, you're telling yourself some nonsense," she said in a pleading tone.

"It's not true? And how were you at the club? You almost jumped me. I felt like a piece of meat that couldn't string two sentences together. You only need me for bed; I mean nothing to you. Let's go," he pulled her hand and started walking briskly.

"Stop. I want to explain something to you. It's not true. It's not my fault you're so well-built—

" "That's what I was saying!" Michał interrupted her without stopping. "My soul doesn't matter to you, only my body.

" "Stop repeating that, you're talking nonsense. You know yourself that we were talking from the very beginning. If you were stupid, we—

" "So now you think I'm a stupid piece of meat?" His voice was brimming with anger. "

You're twisting everything. Let me finish what I'm about to tell you. You're making things up and you're trying to hurt me by force." There was no anger in her voice, only sadness.

Michał stopped. He stood in front of her and lifted her chin as if to kiss her.

"Because I wanted to hurt you." He pushed her away and moved on.

She stood for a moment before following him. She forcibly took his hand, even though he struggled. They walked side by side in silence. Neither of them said anything. Michał was angry, and she was sad. Only at the night bus stop did he ask her what time it was.

"Why are you so angry with me today?" she asked quietly.

"I've had a bad day. I don't want to talk about it today," he muttered under his breath, and he glanced out at the street to see if the bus was coming.

The bus arrived after a few minutes, which they spent in silence. They didn't even look at each other the entire journey. Only when they were approaching her bus stop did they exchange a few words.

"Will you call me tomorrow about the cinema?" She asked first.

"Yes, I'll let you know somehow. Hi," he said and looked out the window.

The next day. She's been walking around tired, sleep-deprived, and angry since early morning. She keeps picking up her cell phone and checking if anything has arrived. She can't find a seat. At 4 p.m., she loses patience and texts:

"Honey, are we going to the cinema together today? If so, tell me where we should meet. I miss you and I'm sorry about yesterday, I'm really thinking not only about your body, but also about your soul, which captivated me. Please call me."

She waited five minutes, then ten, and the phone didn't answer. Just when she had lost hope, a text message suddenly arrived. She ran to the phone, quickly picked it up, almost dropped it, and with a pounding heart, she read:

"I'm going with a friend. I'll call you."

A tear glistened in her eyes. However, it didn't fall to the floor, as she wiped it away just in time. She stood there for a moment, phone in hand. She was silent, as if waiting for one more ring that would mean it was a stupid joke. There wasn't one.

A week passed. She was sitting in a pub with Adrian. They were drinking beer. They were both silent, neither saying a word. They just looked at each other, trying to read something in each other's eyes. She couldn't stand it.

"Michał hasn't contacted me for a week. I've been texting him, but he doesn't reply. I don't know what to do. I've apologized to him so many times." Her voice was getting softer and softer.

"Don't worry. He needs time. No guy wants to be treated like a piece of meat," Adrian tried to comfort her.

"But I don't treat him like that. He doesn't even let me explain anything. Besides, guys treat girls like that themselves, so why are they suddenly offended? Women can be treated like love machines, but men can't?" Her voice was growing more and more angry.

"Calm down. You'd better help me win over Magda, because she's a really nice person," Adrian wanted to change the subject.

"How can you think about that now, when I have such a problem? Michał isn't talking to me. I'm devastated," she almost started to cry.

"Don't worry, he'll sort everything out and he'll call me soon. Now, help me with Magda," Adrian hugged her tightly.

"Okay, if you care so much." She looked at him with a slightly more serene expression.

Another week. She was sitting at home, listening to music, candles burning, and thousands of thoughts were racing through her head. She held her cell phone in her hand, constantly dialing a number, which she then deleted. After an hour, she started texting:

"Hi, Honey. How are you doing? You haven't heard from me, has something happened? Will you call me again? I miss you, please call me."

For an hour, she waited for some response. Nothing came. The cell phone was silent as if by a spell. As she went to sleep, she wiped away tears every few moments.

Wednesday. The next day was their anniversary. She paced nervously around the room. She held the phone in her hand. She gathered the courage to call again, but always changed her mind at the last minute. After two hours, she stopped caring. She dialed the number and, heart pounding, it rang. Michał answered the phone.

"Excuse me, what do you want?

" "Hi. Tomorrow's our anniversary and I was wondering if I'd see you. You haven't heard from me in so long," he said in a pleading tone.

"I've been busy. I'll be there tomorrow too." His voice was dry.

"Michał, why are you avoiding me? Do you want to break up with me?" Her voice was filled with fear.

"No, I mean yes. I want to break up. It doesn't make sense. Bye," he said lightly and hung up.

She stood in the middle of the room, her heart stopped beating for a moment. Thousands of thoughts raced through her head, and tears she couldn't hold back anymore spilled from her eyes. That's how her night passed. A sad and cold night.

Thursday. She enters the pub. She notices Adrian at the bar and goes over to say hello. Adrian is confused and surprised to see her.

"You know, I don't know if it's the best idea for you to stay here," Adrian tries to make her understand, telling her to leave.

"I'm devastated. Michał broke up with me yesterday, and I called him myself, so it's probably my fault. Too bad. I'm going to get drunk tonight." She ignores his tone and words. "

It's really better if you don't get drunk and find someone else; at least you'll cheer yourself up," Adrian tried to convince her.

"Leave me alone. I'm going to get drunk tonight. Pass me a beer," he says to the bartender. "Are you getting drunk with me?

" "No, probably not. Magda's coming over and..."

Michał entered the pub. He held a tall, slender blonde by the hand. Her legs buckled, her heart stopped beating. She stood frozen, staring at the man who had so recently been the most important person in her world. When the bartender handed her a beer, she took it wordlessly and went to a table where a guy was sitting. She began talking to him, barely holding back tears. After twenty minutes, Adrian and Michał, along with their new girlfriend, left. She grabbed her cell phone and sent a text message:

"Why her and not me? And you dare say that the body doesn't matter? You certainly didn't choose a girl for her intelligence, and you were angry with me! I don't want to know you!"

She turned off her cell phone, finished her beer, and put on the coat lying next to her. With a sad smile, she said goodbye to everyone and went out for a walk into the frosty evening. The stars were visible in the sky; she looked at them, unable to hold back her tears.

The next day. She was walking around the city, window-shopping. Adrian was walking across from her. She didn't smile, didn't throw her arms around his neck. She approached him calmly.

"Why didn't you tell me? Why did you let me delude myself that he'd come back to me?" Adriana asked reproachfully.

"I wanted him to be happy." Michał didn't know what he wanted—Adrian remained composed.

"What about me? What am I supposed to do now?

" "Nothing. Leave him alone. He wants to forget you." He brushed past her and continued walking.

"And if I lose weight, become a god, will he come back to me?" she asked him hopefully.

"No. He's had enough of you because he was right, that only your body matters to you."

She was left alone. She didn't know what to say. She didn't understand. She didn't know what she had done. After a moment, she went on her way, thinking that she had to forget, that she had to stop suffering.