Little
Red Riding Hood had loved her grandmother very much for the past week because she was dying. Little Red Riding Hood was very materialistic and hoped for an inheritance. But in truth, Little Red Riding Hood was a skinhead with pink laces on his sandals. His eyes were the color of the Japanese flag, and his lips reminded him that all was not lost.
Since Little Red Riding Hood thought Grandma had been dying for too long, he decided to visit her. So he exchanged his sandals for combat boots, and just in case, he took spikes with him. He went to Grandma's house and entered without knocking. He didn't close the door behind him. He saw Grandma sleeping in her sleeping bag. Her face was normal. So he stood over her and considered whether to destroy her with the combat boot or the spike. And so he stood on two legs, his left hand on his right hip and his right hand holding the trembling spikes. And suddenly he realized Grandma was waking up. He began to think faster and harder. He was almost finished when he heard Grandma's deafening roar: "You fool, you left the door behind you and the draft woke me up!!!!" Little Red Riding Hood stood there stunned for an hour, then thought that the old woman was right and he was just a simple boor for keeping Grandma awake. He blushed deeply. He tucked the thorns under his nose so Grandma wouldn't think he'd tried to stroke her with his shoe, and, choking, he left.
On the way back, he examined his conscience. He was ashamed. His gaze fell on a gray snail that reminded him of his childhood
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Little Red Riding Hood loved his grandmother very much, and more and more. Grandma was getting better, his love was getting sicker. He constantly thought about being a skinhead. As a skinhead, he had certain responsibilities. In his forest, he felt like a patriot. And everything would have been fine, if not for the fact that his grandmother was a black Negro. And Little Red Riding Hood couldn't go on like this. So he took the picket fence and went after his grandmother. As a true man of the forest, he had to be ruthless. He entered his grandmother's house quietly and stealthily, his eyes the color of the Japanese flag closed so they wouldn't betray his presence. Then he closed the door. He opened his eyes and saw his grandmother standing with her back to him. He recognized her by the gray hair at her pale temples. Sweat trickled down his thigh. He barely saw her in the darkness. So he took the picket fence in both hands, one in his right hand, then in his left, then in different hands. And suddenly something occurred to him. He was a real man, and real men don't hit their grandmothers over the head with pickets, even when she's not looking. To get out of the situation and please Grandma, he said, "Peek-a-boo." Grandma laughed softly, thinking it was the forester who had come to her for figs. She turned and saw Little Red Riding Hood, who began juggling the picket before her eyes. "Little Red Riding Hood," she said, "my son." Little Red Riding Hood ran outside, shaken. She called him "son." And he always loved it when she called him "dear daughter." And now she had hurt his feelings, shattered his personality. He wanted to caress her with that picket, he really did. But in his emotional state, he couldn't do it. So he knelt down, grabbed sand in his hands, lifted them, and, sobbing, covered himself with it. Then he grabbed some grain and, shouting, "You are grain," poured it into his eyes. He began to apologize to the chickens for dying one day. His tears filled the pig trough. Then he realized he was making a fool of himself and left
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A beautiful, big sun shone over Grandma. Poor Little Red Riding Hood was pissed at Grandma because she was still alive. But that wasn't all. She'd squandered her entire fortune on a dalliance with the master. But only Grandma knew it was a forester. He'd left her for reasons unknown. So Little Red Riding Hood went to bring Grandma some potatoes. He walked through the forest, the sun illuminating his cheeks. His sandals with pink laces looked like fireflies. Little Red Riding Hood looked like a nymph. Then he saw a 20 złoty note under a bush. He thought he knew where Grandma's entire fortune had gone. She'd lost it under that bush. He was so incredibly happy. He threw the potatoes behind him with a flourish and lunged for the banknote. However, it was tied to a string and kept moving away. Little Red Riding Hood didn't notice this and continued running in ecstasy and trembling. And so he ran and ran, his legs tangling around his shoulders. He began to daydream. But suddenly he was roused from his state by the sight of a cheerful forester, holding a banknote with both thumbs. His eyes were blue, and his eyelashes the color of sea grass. The pink on his cheeks seemed to say, "I'm gay." The forester approached the dazed Little Red Riding Hood and said, "What beautiful sandals, and how graceful you look without a basket!" Little Red Riding Hood shivered; his potatoes were wandering around the forest. Grandma would kill him. But then again, such a forester... The forester, seeing that Little Red Riding Hood was shy, stuck out his two front teeth and said he was a bunny. Little Red Riding Hood found this amusing... But suddenly the bunny fell forward, and his eyes turned communist-colored. He was dead. But Grandma was alive. She stood with a razor in her hand, her eyes burning like crude oil. Her gray hair was disheveled. She was completely distracted. And it was pulling her to the left. That's why she held the razor in her right hand, which allowed her to stay standing. But Little Red Riding Hood couldn't hold it and staggered. He fell but got up. He looked at Grandma and said, "How could you do this to me?" Grandma pulled out a thermos, poured them both cognac, and said that the forester had used her, abandoned her, and cheated on her with another woman. "With another woman!" Little Red Riding Hood replied. With anger in his eyes, he threw the glass to the side in slow motion. He forcibly took the razor from Grandma and cleaned it of the remnants of Grandma's beard, as she had been shaving her mustache since childhood. He raised the blade and shouted, "I'm a homosexual!" and killed Grandma. After a moment, she felt faint and said she was sorry that Little Red Riding Hood had killed her with the razor and that she had died. Little Red Riding Hood continued to scream, "I'm a homosexual!" through tears. He knelt on the ground. He took both handfuls of sand, lifted them, and sprinkled it on himself. But after a moment, he suddenly stood up and said, "Fuck, I got sand in my eyes again." He threw the two bodies behind the bushes with a flourish, grabbed a razor because it was a souvenir from his grandmother, and left, as he had tissues and running water at home.
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