Aga14

VII.

She had to rush to the bathroom. Nausea had gripped her during the night. Had she eaten something stale? No, that wasn't it.... Her eyes slowly began to grow large. Yes... Her period had been late for some time, but... Would anyone have thought she might actually be pregnant? Her? T improbable. Impossible.... Surprising... Unexpected. Was it unwanted? What a cruel twist of fate. Now, when she had no one to lean on again, she found out she was pregnant. Yes... Fate hadn't given her a choice. Hours spent pondering, weighing the pros and cons, making decisions had been wasted.... To hell with this decision! What's done is done. Except now it was an accident.... No! Love isn't about accidents, children aren't born by accident.... The knowledge of this was terrifying. What if this child saves them after all? What if she's left alone with the little one, like her mother? What if she's incapable of being a mother? Life is one big lottery. You can win, but you have to accept the fall. Take a risk? A child... A child... A child... She buried her face in her arms. How wonderful this news would have been two months ago! They would both be happy. But not now. Now... It would be hard... Too hard?

She took a test. The result was positive. She went to the doctor. He confirmed she was going to be a mother... Doubt was evident in his eyes. Another whore who has a child at seventeen. Condoms failed... Irony. There was a hint of irony in his voice... Well... It's not up to him to judge. It's not up to him to judge how she'll live. You can't walk into someone else's life with your shoes on. Or you have to start all over again. The little frozen girl at the store a dozen years ago didn't interest anyone, so let no one worry about her fate anymore!

Paweł returned home high. The erratic look in his eyes. Anger. A scream. He's going to be a father. A whore. Those words stung. Her hand automatically went to her stomach.

It fell in. Fuck! They forgot about protection… She got carried away by the moment, and now she regrets it. She regrets it—like everything in life. Because he was supposed to love her. And today she raises her hand. Because again, the white powder proved stronger than everything. Because again, she's a nobody… Because again, she'll be alone? Such regret after the fact is the most pathetic. He no longer cared about her. She was no longer needed. He lived in his own world. She didn't exist. They forgot about protection… A slip-up. Not his slip-up! It was her slip-up and hers alone. Hers. Not his. He had nothing to do with it. The fault is hers, he has nothing to do with it. And everyone knew it. Wherever she went, she would learn the same thing. She should have stopped whoring without protection.

A blow. Her face ached, her pride ached, her heart ached? Does such a person still have a heart? A teenager, drained of knowledge—heartless. Such people can't have hearts. (God! Do you hear? Comforter of the afflicted....!) A caress gave her a black eye. Automatically, her hand went to her stomach. Her... treasure? Bullshit. More like a problem. A problem.

"It's none of my business, bitch!"—that's all, that's all. A few words—bitter, sharp, without any expression—ended her life, the young life of a seventeen-year-old. All that remained was the certainty that she would never see him again. She would never return. There was no point in returning...

She gave birth... She gave birth because the procedure cost over a thousand złoty...

A child's cry broke the silence—there were no tears in her eyes. There were loud words and a wasted life. She was just another, lonely, unloved being on this earth.

Because history tends to repeat itself... right?