Answer

I

She turned on the tap and scooped up as much ice-cold water as she could. She splashed it on her face. She felt a little better, but she still couldn't move.

When she had gathered enough strength, she looked in the mirror. The face she saw terrified her. Anger radiated from bloodshot green eyes, and her lips were pressed together so tightly, as if trying to contain all the rage inside.

Kamila tried to regain control. Her fingers, gripping the sink tightly, ached more and more. She ignored it. If she let go now, she wouldn't have a chance to contain her anger. She would walk out of the bathroom and... kill. She was sure of it. She would kill that hag. No matter how or with what. She would end her life once and for all. She

closed her eyes and began to breathe deeply. She wanted to run as far away from here as possible, but that wouldn't solve the problem. She would have to come back—if not tomorrow, then the day after. She would only make her situation worse.

She counted back to sixty, opened her eyes, and looked in the mirror again. She looked much better. While the anger hadn't vanished, it had hidden behind her cold eyes. She was slowly regaining control.

She brushed her hair back from her face and turned off the faucet. Time to go home.

II

She entered the classroom and quietly sat down at the back desk.

Kajtek, silent, stood with his head bowed at Mrs. Wieszczycka's desk. The entire class watched him like a painting, the only exhibit in a museum. No one dared move or speak.

Kamila propped her head on her hand, trying unsuccessfully to direct her thoughts to something pleasant: strawberry ice cream, summer, the new Myslovitz album, Herbert's poems... they were never so distant as they were now.

She tried not to look at Kajtek. She knew how miserable she must feel, having been in his shoes many times. Probably, even if he had been prepared for class and knew the answer to the question, he had forgotten out of sheer nervousness. Or maybe he was afraid the teacher would criticize what he said.

"I'm waiting," Mrs. Wieszczycka urged. Ever since she'd taken over their class three months earlier, she'd been repeating that word constantly.

Kajtek looked up. He looked as if he was about to speak, but after a moment, he lowered his head again—it seemed he'd decided to remain silent until the teacher gave him a hard time.

"If you don't know, perhaps you'd like to tell me something about avant-garde poetry."

The teacher, Kamila, always had a tone of voice that evoked the hiss of a viper. Every time she opened her mouth, poisonous venom spewed from it.

"You don't know anything about that either?"

The classroom was filled with growing anxiety. Everyone knew the teacher would soon stop torturing Kajtek and find the next victim. Only those with lucky numbers and Kamila, who had already been questioned today, were safe. Some of the students in the back rows took the risk of opening their notebooks. Others nervously glanced at their watches, hoping the teacher wouldn't have time to question another person.

Only Piotrek seemed completely unconcerned with what was happening in class. He stared out the window the entire time. Kamila was certain she knew where his thoughts were wandering. Ever since he'd fallen in love with her best friend, Kasia, his face often wore a vacant expression.

Kamila envied him for his ability to detach himself from the classroom atmosphere. She couldn't, though she desperately wanted to. She clenched her fists to relieve the tension, but it didn't help either.

"I'm listening!" "Won't you tell us anything?"

When Kajtek didn't react, she yelled,

"Why aren't you prepared for class?"

This was always the worst moment for Kamila, because she didn't know how to answer such a question. No explanation satisfied the teacher. The worst was when someone said they were studying. Then Wieszczycka would start pestering them with detailed questions about the time, place, and what they were studying. It was like an interrogation. As a result, they always came across as liars.

"I'm listening!" the teacher roared again.

In response, Kajtek shrugged.

"You're a hopeless lazybones! Maybe it's time to consider another school, because you're clearly not coping here. I wonder how you got to third grade. Please sit down."

Kajtek, a look of relief on his face, returned to his desk, and Wieszczycka continued:

"You're the worst class in the school, and it's time someone took care of you." If I have to, I'll give everyone a failing grade—" She paused to give the class a hateful look. "Open your notebooks," she finished.

Everyone took a deep breath. Their ordeal was over—at least for today.

III.

Kamila, upon returning home, turned up the volume and lay down on her bed. She tried to focus solely on the Sweet Noise album. She didn't want to think about today, or anything else.

When she heard the doorbell and the doorknob grind, her heart began to beat faster. She rolled onto her side and moved her hand closer to the tape recorder. She heard shouts coming from the kitchen, so she turned the volume almost to maximum.

She was fed up with her parents' constant arguments. They always followed the same pattern. Her mother would yell at her father to stop drinking and threaten divorce. He would yell back that he didn't drink more than anyone else, and anyway, it was his business. No one would tell him how much he had to drink. Then her mother would speak more quietly, but much more dramatically, saying she was bringing shame on the family. Weeping, she would swear that this couldn't go on any longer. And then the yelling would start again, with insults and blame. Their arguments always ended with her mother crying and her father promising he wouldn't drink anymore. Of course, this didn't stop him from returning the next day even more drunk.

Kamila didn't believe either of her father's words or her mother's threats. She felt resentment towards both, though not to the same degree. She didn't understand them and always tried to tune them out during arguments. She had long ago given up trying to improve their relationship. All her efforts were futile, and sometimes they brought down both of her parents' wrath.

Somehow, her father's voice cut through the music:

"Turn it down, you fucking idiot! You don't live here alone!"

After a brief hesitation, she turned down the volume on the tape recorder. Her parents were no longer arguing, which meant her father would definitely be picking on her now. She shifted nervously on the bed but didn't get up. She had nowhere to run. She could only wait for the storm to pass.

The door to the room opened, and her father stood on the threshold. She immediately smelled the alcohol.

"Why aren't you doing your homework?" he asked in a drunken voice.

"Because I don't have any assignments.

" "Then study. No wonder your grades are so low if you spend all day listening to this nonsense!"

He staggered over to the tape recorder and, trying to turn it off, knocked it to the ground. Kamila sat up abruptly on the bed.

"Lessons!" he shouted, staggering backward.

She was furious, but managed to remain silent.

"Do you hear what I'm saying?! Get to your homework?"

He walked over to the desk, grabbed the first book he found, and threw it at her. Kamila didn't even flinch when the geography textbook landed right next to her. She took it, but suppressed the urge to hit her father over the head with it. Instead, she gave him a hostile look. Perhaps he realized he'd gone too far, or maybe he was bored with talking to his daughter, because he simply said,

"You have to study," and left.

Kamila put the book back on the desk and picked up the tape recorder from the floor. To avoid giving her father an excuse to return, she used headphones to check if it was working. Fortunately, everything was fine. However, she no longer felt like listening to music.

She waited half an hour for her father to fall asleep, then left the house without a word.

IV

Even though it was midweek, the pub was packed. Kamila spotted her friends immediately. They were playing pool, at the table furthest from the entrance. When Kaśka approached them, she had just potted the last half-ball into the center pocket, simultaneously lining up the cue ball perfectly to pot the black ball into the opposite corner. Three solid balls remained on the table.

"Hi, who are you crushing this time?" Kamila asked, approaching the table.

"Maćka," her friend replied, nodding at the long-haired brunette standing with a beer.

"I've already put the cue down," he said with a smile.

Kaśka leaned over the table and potted the black ball cleanly.

"I'll have a beer then," she turned to Maciek.

"It's ready. And what about you?

" "Same," Kamila replied, taking off her jacket and sitting on a bench.

Piotr approached Kaśka. They kissed, almost colliding with the table.

"Now it's my turn," he said.

Without waiting for an answer, he began to arrange the cue balls in a triangle. Kaśka approached her friend, taking the balls out of the pockets as she went and rolling them toward Piotr.

"I hear that witch in Polish has been bothering you again?" she asked.

She was the same age as Kamila, but she went to a different high school.

"For the fourth time this month.

" "Don't worry. Everything she says is nonsense; she just wants to hurt you.

" "Easy for you to say.

" "Yeah. I know.

" "I'm breaking it!" Piotr shouted.

"That's great," Kaśka replied, not taking her eyes off Kamila. "Try not to take what she says to heart. It's not worth it.

" "Your turn," Piotr said .

"I'm coming."

She looked Kamila in the eye and turned toward the pool table. She casually hit the cue ball, which first pushed the yellow ball hard, then lightly touched the green ball. Both balls fell into the pockets.

"Man, you can't beat her!" Maciek shouted, approaching with a beer.

He sat down next to Kamila and handed her the mug. She tried to smile at him, but couldn't.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"Nothing. I'm down.

" "I have to cheer you up somehow." He dug into his pocket before pulling out a tiny bag with three pills.

Kaśka missed and looked in their direction.

"Is that amphetamine? Are you stitching it up? You shouldn't...

" "I only take it when I'm down. It makes me feel better."

Kamila stared at the small pills. She didn't know what to do. She wanted to feel better, but she realized that drugs only provided short-term relief from the pain. And when they wore off, everything came back and made it worse.

"I don't need this," she finally said.

Kaśka missed again. This time she couldn't resist and approached them.

"If you offer her any drugs again, I'll tear you to pieces, understand?

" "It's okay, I..." Kamila began, but Kaśka didn't let her finish.

"No, that's not okay, you don't offer drugs to friends. Do you understand that, Maciek?

" "Yes," he replied.

Kaśka glared at him and returned to the billiards.

"I'm sorry," Maciek said. "She's right. But you have such sad eyes..."

Kamila took the beer. She drank half the glass in one gulp.

"My eyes always look the same.

" "Exactly. They're always sad.

" She didn't answer. She watched Piotr rejoice over accidentally pocketing the cue ball. Of course, he tried to convince Kaśka it was intentional.

"Are you worried about school?" Maciek asked

. "A little.

" "It's hopeless. All we can do is wait it out. When I pass my final exams, I'll burn all my notebooks with joy.

" "That's in three months. Are you even studying?

" "I have other ways to deal with it."

Kamila sighed and looked at the table. Kaśka had potted three balls with one shot, but the white ball also went in. Piotr was stunned. For a moment, he couldn't move.

"She's amazing," Kamila said.

"Well... we've been going to pool together for six years, but I've never managed to beat her."

Kamila had met Maciek two years earlier at a disco. She agreed to go to the cinema with him, and they started dating. They fell in love pretty quickly. They'd been dating for over four months when he decided it would be better if they stayed friends. Kamila was a little disappointed, but she didn't protest. She couldn't force him to feel the same way about her that she felt about him.

Besides, it soon turned out he'd broken up with her because he'd fallen in love with a classmate. She'd seen them together many times, which helped her come to terms with the breakup and let go of all her feelings for Maciek.

When he broke up with the other girl six months later, he wanted to get back together with Kamila. Only, she didn't love him anymore and didn't want to be with him.

They became friends. Maciek was a really nice guy. Sometimes she regretted that things didn't work out. But she wasn't about to give him a second chance. She could forgive him, but she couldn't forget.

Maciek introduced Kamila to Kaśka while they were still dating. They started spending a lot of time together, and over time, they became friends. Her breakup with Maciek didn't change anything. Kaśka helped her a lot through that period: she patiently listened to her confessions and kept her spirits up. Although she tried to remain neutral, it was clear she was angry with Maciek for his behavior.

"I know what will cheer you up," Maciek said, and walked over to the jukebox.

A moment later, a song Kamila knew well: "Ja, my, oni" by the band Perfekt.

"So?" he asked, sitting down next to her. "Do you hear that?" "It doesn't matter what the eyes of evil people say, it doesn't matter that we don't suit them," he sang along with the band.

"I think I'm about to cry," she sighed.

"Oh, that was supposed to make you feel better!" he said , putting his arm around her.

"I know. Thank you."

Meanwhile, Kaśka potted the black ball, winning another game. Piotr kissed her, and they walked hand in hand to the bench.

"Are we getting out of here?" he asked.

The V

Pier had a different feel at night than it did during the day. An incredible aura hung over it, a combination of freedom and terror. The sea gave hope, showing people limitless possibilities. However, all these feelings lasted far too short to make a difference; they vanished as soon as you looked toward the beach.

Kamila loved coming here at night, sitting on the bench, and watching the people stroll by. They were different from those who came to the pier during the day: more pensive, sad, as if searching for something, not even knowing exactly why they'd come. Just like her. Perhaps that was why she sometimes felt less lonely on the pier at night.

This time, however, she didn't feel like watching people. Her own problems tormented her. She wanted to do something to get rid of the unpleasant thoughts. She felt herself walking faster with each step. Maciek kept pace with her, but Kaśka and Piotr stayed behind. They walked slowly, holding hands.

"Where are you going in such a hurry?" Maciek asked.

"Nowhere.

" "Life is beautiful!" he yelled, and with his arms raised, spinning around, he ran on.

Kamila was sure he'd swallowed one of his magic pills before leaving the pub. Ignoring him, she approached the stairs leading to the small jetty just above the water. Though it was shrouded in darkness, she noticed it wasn't finished. Half the boards were missing, and after twenty meters, it suddenly broke off. A railing ran along one side. It didn't look very sturdy. Kamila doubted it could withstand the weight of a human body.

Without thinking, she jumped over the boards blocking the descent and descended the stairs to the jetty. She found herself just above the water.

"What are you doing?" she heard Kaśka shout. She looked up. Her friend was leaning over the railing.

"It's dangerous! Get back up!" Piotr yelled, standing next to her.

She realized she should have come without them, but now it was too late. If she backed out, she might lose her courage later. So she continued on, avoiding the holes.

"Please, whatever you're doing, stop!" came Kaśka's call. It sounded so strange that she stopped and looked up again. This time, Maciek was also standing there.

"Wait, I'm jumping for you!" he yelled, climbing the railing. Peter pulled him down by force and they started struggling.

Kamila was a bit distracted by the scene. She pondered what she was about to do. She had come down here to be closer to the sea, but now she longed to jump into the water and disappear to the bottom.

She took three more steps before reaching the end of the jetty. Then she heard someone running down the stairs. She turned just in time to see Kaśka rapidly covering the distance between them.

"What are you doing?" she asked when she reached them.

Kamila didn't answer. She stared at the sea, which was so close that if she took a step, it would swallow her. Kamila wanted to jump, but something inside held her back.

"How deep do you think it might be?" Kamila said, not taking her eyes off the sea.

"I warn you, if you jump, I'll definitely fish you out."

It sounded like a threat. Kamila hadn't thought of that before. Her friend was an excellent swimmer. Another detail she'd missed. She was starting to get scared.

"If you wanted to drown, why didn't you jump off the pier? Why did you come down here?"

Kamila sighed. She was becoming increasingly confused, disoriented, and terrified.

"I'm struggling. I feel worse and worse every day. I'd like to believe it will pass, but I can't. Everything is overwhelming me. I can't stand my own thoughts or myself. I've had enough. "

She should jump now, but she didn't move. She lacked the courage.

"I don't want to, I can't," she added, blinking to stop herself from crying.

Kaśka continued to look deep into her eyes. She wondered what she should say. She opened her mouth several times, but closed it without saying a word.

"Listen, Kamila," she finally said, "I know everything's been messed up at school and at home lately. But suicide isn't the answer to problems.

" "What is it? I have to wait until everything passes, right? But how can I change anything?" I have no strength left, I can't stand it anymore...

"Please...

" "I can't go on like this. Everything's gotten tangled.

" "So together, piece by piece, we'll start to untangle this."

Kamila held an internal dialogue. It would be so simple... to disappear, to run away from problems. Even into nothingness. She believed in life after death and in God. However, she doubted that heaven was for suicides.

"How?" she asked. She realized she was defeated and wouldn't jump again.

Kaśka sowed doubt in her and gave her a glimmer of hope.

"Small steps, we'll start with Wieszczycka.

" "It's hopeless, she..." Kamila stopped as she heard footsteps. She looked toward the stairs. She saw Maciek running down them.

"Watch..." Kaśka began, but before she could finish, he had already tripped and fallen. As he fell, he hit the railing. She tumbled into the water—fortunately without him.

Kaśka kept leaning against her, so she lost her balance. Kamila caught her just in time. She grabbed her friend so tightly that they both fell onto the jetty.

"Are you okay?" Piotr asked, going downstairs.

"Yes. Get him out of here," Kaśka replied, and Piotr obediently helped Maciek up and dragged him back up.

"I got scared...

" "I'm fine, but I think I've used up my luck for today. Are we going back?" she asked, standing up.

"Yeah. Better not to tempt fate," Kamila replied, also getting up.

When they reached the top, she looked at the jetty again. She felt relieved that she was no longer standing on it. The moment of doubt passed.

They walked over to the bench where the boys were sitting. For a moment, everyone was silent.

"Wieszczycka lives in Sopot," Piotr broke the silence.

"How do you know?" Kaśka asked.

"Through the grapevine."

"If we had an address, we could spray paint her house," Maciek said.

"Krzywa 17/b. It's not far from here."

They looked at Piotr with wide eyes.

"Someone tracked her down," he added with a shrug.

Kamila was shocked. Wieszczycka lived fifteen minutes from the pier. She was so close to the teacher she hated and didn't know it. Suddenly, all the bad thoughts vanished, giving way to a new one. She could reverse the roles and make the teacher fear her now. Make her feel, for once, the fear the entire class experiences every day during Polish lessons.

All the bad memories associated with Wieszczycka, the humiliations she had suffered because of her, flashed through Kamila's mind. A wave of rage flooded her heart.

She rose from her desk. It was time for a change.

"I have to go," she said.

"Where?" Kaśka asked.

"Never mind, I'll see you tomorrow."

They stared into each other's eyes for a moment. Kamila was afraid her friend would read more into them than she should have.

"It's three in the morning. Where are you going to wander off by yourself at this time?" Piotr asked.

"I have to visit someone," Kamila replied, immediately regretting it.

She immediately turned and headed toward the beach.

"Fuck," she heard Kaśka groan behind her, "take Maciek home. I'll see you tomorrow.

" "Maybe we should all go?" Piotr asked.

"Better not. Maciek will say something else."

Kamila started running, but before she reached the end of the beach, Kaśka was already beside her.

VI

"It's here," Kaśka said, pointing to an old house off to the side. It was dark inside. Only the porch light was on.

"Impossible. It's too easy," Kamila said, looking around.

She'd expected the teacher to live in a house, as they were the only ones on Krzywa Street, but she hadn't expected it to be in such a shack. What's more, the property was surrounded on all sides by dense trees. They certainly made an excellent hiding place for a thief. Besides, they were watching the house from behind one of them.

"A witch's hut," Kaśka whispered.

"Extremely poor. I know teachers don't earn much, but that's probably an exaggeration.

" "Maybe it's not her house after all.

" "Her house. I feel negative energy.

" "It's probably being released through the leaky roof. What are you trying to do?"

A paved road and a fence, most of the boards missing, separated them from the house.

"I recognize her car," Kamila said, nodding her head at the toddler standing next to the house.

Kaśka remained silent. Her hands were buried deep in her pockets, observing the surrounding area.

Kamila was nervous. She knew that frightening someone living in such a remote area wasn't difficult. What a pain it would be to break a window, or even go inside and wave a knife in front of a lonely woman. She

was almost certain that no one but the teacher was inside. Everyone at school knew that Wieszczycka lived alone.

However, she began to wonder if frightening the teacher would do any good. She feared she might only make things worse for the entire class. She would probably take out all her anger on the students.

She wanted to get Wieszczycka out of her life. But how could she do it? The only thing that came to mind was murder. She didn't know if she was capable of it. Did she hate the teacher that much? She had gathered a tremendous amount of rage within herself, but she wasn't sure if it was strong enough to commit murder.

"If I wanted to kill her, would you try to stop me?" Kamila asked.

"No. Do as you please.

" "Why not?

" "If I have to choose between her life and yours, it's simple."

Kamila approached the fence. Up close, the house seemed even more dilapidated: the plaster was crumbling, and parts of the roof and gutters were falling off. Yet, everything was in order. Clean windows, a perfectly washed car, and no trash. The property was meticulously tidy. Everything was in its place.

She stood there for about fifteen minutes, trying to make a decision. With each passing moment, she felt less inclined to go into the house. She began to regret ever coming here. She felt tired.

Finally, she returned behind the tree.

"If I leave now, I'll never come back," she said.

Kaśka smiled.

"That's good.

" "But nothing will change. She'll torment me, insult me, and eventually she'll fail.

" "And your conscience would torment you like that. That's a hundred times worse.

" "I'm so angry.

" "I know.

" "I could kill her."

"I know.

" "But I don't want to. This isn't the way. I think I'm too weak.

" "If you were weak, you'd kill her... or yourself.

" "Maybe. Let's get out of here before I change my mind. "

"I'd love to. You know, you could try transferring to my school. The commute would take a little longer, but you'd be free of that woman.

" "We'll see."

VII

Wieszczycka stared at the student list for a long time, wondering who to ask. Finally, she looked up from her diary and said with a smile.

"Kajtek Kruczyński, come over."

Kamila sighed with relief. She knew it was selfish, but she couldn't help it. She was glad it hadn't been her choice. She'd gotten home before five in the morning and slept less than two hours. She hadn't even looked at her notebook. If the teacher had asked her today, she probably wouldn't have uttered a word.

Kajtek also remained silent. Wieszczycka was getting nervous, trying to urge him, but it was to no avail. He didn't react, as if she weren't talking to him. This made her even angrier. Kajtek listened stonily to what she had to say about him. He looked as if he didn't care.

The class slowly began to lose interest. They knew the teacher would soon send him back to his seat and call on someone else to answer. The room was getting increasingly tense.

Kamila, too, was starting to feel afraid. She tried not to look at Kajtek's torment. All the insults directed at him were hitting her too. And today, Wieszczycka was outdoing herself. She called Kajtek ignoramuses, lazybones, parasites, idiots, and questioned his sanity. Even Piotr was closely observing what was happening in the classroom.

Suddenly, something changed in Kajtek's face. His expression remained neutral, but a hint of a smile appeared in his eyes. It was only for a moment, so the teacher probably didn't notice. She continued her tirade:

"You're a clown, and you'll remain one for the rest of your life."

Kajtek shifted uncomfortably. Rage flashed in his eyes. He pulled a knife from his pants pocket and lunged at the teacher. She was surprised. She began to scream horribly, and Kajtek stabbed her again. Finally, she collapsed to the floor. A pool of blood formed around her.

The entire class watched the scene, mesmerized. By the time Piotr and several others pulled Kajtek away from the teacher, it was too late to save her.

Kamila remained motionless at her desk. Kajtek had done what she had given up on the night before. He had destroyed his nightmare, but with it, her life. She felt more sympathy for him than for the teacher. After all, she had driven him to this state.

Everyone is responsible for their own decisions and must face the consequences of their behavior. This also applied to Kajtek and Ms. Wieszczycka.

Yet it didn't have to end like this, Kamila thought, looking at the dead teacher, everyone chooses their own path.