She

She had one green eye and the other gray. When she looked deep into yours, you felt like you were drowning in her gaze. And when she kissed you, the world ceased to exist. There was only you and her. When she left, the world ceased to exist too. But then, only you remained. Without her. All day long, you walked back and forth... back and forth... back and forth... without her. Oh! Without her! How could you live without her! Not falling asleep with her face close to yours. Not eating breakfast with her. Not walking... not cleaning... not driving... not swimming... not working... no... no... no... Without her...

A year passed. You forgot, you were happy, you met someone else. She was also beautiful, wonderful, loved. But her eyes were brown... When you looked into them, you saw... you simply saw eyes. Her eyes. Sometimes laughing, sometimes crying, sometimes hot with desire. You didn't realize it, but you always compared them. You compared kisses, caresses, ordinary daily activities. You didn't know you were doing it. But you did. That's how the year passed. In a constant pursuit of something unattainable. Something unreal.

It was autumn. Wet, slimy streets. Puddle after puddle. Cold, windy, unpleasant. Yet she sent you shopping anyway. You were angry. These purchases weren't necessary, you knew that. But she did it out of spite. You argued. You slammed the door and rushed out of the house. You walked forward, oblivious to the surroundings. You didn't stop on the street. You stopped only when you heard the piercing sound of a horn. You saw blinding light and then sudden darkness.

She visited you while you lay half-dead in the hospital. She blamed herself for everything... she apologized... she said it was her stupidity, her pride... the shopping... the weather... Single words echoed through your head. You whispered that you didn't mind her leaving, that she was free... She did it. She did it crying, but you read the relief in her tears. You were both free.

Lying dying in the hospital room, you remembered how she had died over a year ago. She lay there too, just like you were now. Hundreds of tubes stretched from her beautiful, pale arm. Her livid face, contorted with pain, but still beloved, looked apologetically. Her green eye expressed love, gray suffering. And just like hers a year ago, now you allowed yourself to let go. Suddenly, you felt yourself rising. You saw yourself and a mass of doctors in white coats shouting at each other. But the voice was receding... receding... and you were already flying upwards. To her. She was there. Equally beautiful... equally beloved... You took her hand, looked into those strange, two-colored eyes, and drowned in them. Me before. And when she kissed you, the world ceased to exist. There were only you and her again. As before... but forever