... (ninth month, third week, fourth day)
" – I think he's starting to regain consciousness.
- Finally...
- Welcome to the living!
- And how are you feeling?
How did I feel? My head was pounding. I felt waves of pain spreading throughout my body every few moments. Fortunately, they were fading. I couldn't remember where I was, what had happened. I was cold.
Liam, Neruki, and Naer found me unconscious, lying in a pool of water, right next to the bodies of the three Kariks. I couldn't tell them what had happened. I don't know, I don't remember, and they didn't press the matter. Nothing happened to them, thankfully. But the problem was me. One of those creatures bit me on the leg. Their saliva is toxic to the human body. Soon, I would be paralyzed, to the point where I wouldn't be able to move at all.
But to be honest, I couldn't really process this information. I still had that icy desert and my blood-stained hands in my mind's eye. I had done something. I don't know how, I don't remember... Whatever it was, I can't control it...
We walk, slowly, almost blindly, searching for the house. I couldn't do it alone, on my own. The poison spread quickly through my body, making its mark more and more clearly. My muscles had gone almost completely limp. In that moment, I couldn't even tell I was walking. I was being dragged along the ground, leaning on Liam and Neruka's arms, my legs already paralyzed, though I still had feeling in them. My arms were still fine. But for how much longer? Naer, who had been going ahead of us to scout, returned with good news.
"I know where we are," he smiled. "We can make a short stop," he looked at me. "Maybe a little longer.
" "I think it's time to think about a stretcher," Neruka sighed.
I was led to a tree and there I slumped to the ground. I sighed deeply. I drank some water from my canteen. It was almost afternoon. Another nightmarish night in this forest.
"Half a day's journey from here." I was snapped out of my reverie.
"That close?" Liam exclaimed happily.
"I'm sure, one hundred percent.
" "Will we get there today?
" "Yes, definitely," Neruki replied from the distance, lugging two long poles. "We'll make a stretcher out of this, and since we won't be staying here any longer, we can use one of the blankets.
" "You can leave me here. Get to the place for help. You'll be there faster without me."
Neruki shook his head disapprovingly, starting to make the stretcher. Liam looked doubtful and reproachful. Naer snorted nervously.
"You're doing the same thing again," he muttered. "You know perfectly well we can't leave you alone. And even if we could, we don't want to and we won't, so stop thinking about stupid things!"
I smiled weakly.
"Thank you."
The prospect of being alone among the inhospitable trees wasn't exactly pleasant.
A moment later, the stretcher was ready and functioning properly. Partially dragged along the ground, it had a kind of support that prevented me from sliding off during the journey. It was enough for my weak legs. Still, I felt foolish that they had to care for me like a small child. Moreover, I felt weakness beginning to creep up to my shoulders. There were only two hours left before the poison would render me unable to see, speak, or hear. Now came the hope that we would finally arrive in time.
"I still don't understand," Naer muttered. "Why Kadekatzu was so irresponsible."
Neruki muttered nervously.
"I still think he brought them. It was supposed to be a test for our team."
Liam shook his head.
"I don't think so. They would have told us to bring any herbs we could use to make an antidote. After all, it's common knowledge that Kariki are poisonous."
"Kadekatzu is only human. He organized this. He could have forgotten...
" "But that's impossible!" Neruki practically shouted. "Kadekatzu is a professional in training. He's never made any mistakes. And he certainly never exposed his students to almost certain death!
At least not until I showed up at the camp..."
The discussion subsided. We were all tired. We just wanted to get home. My eyes were closing, and I don't even know when I fell asleep. When I was awakened, the sky was already turning gray. My three companions were clearly excited.
"I'll run ahead," Naer said, and ran as
fast as he could. It was getting darker and darker. It felt like hours had passed before I heard voices in the distance.
"Help us."
Someone lifted me from the stretcher and began dragging me toward the camp. Someone else ran up to me, placing a hand on my forehead.
"He has a fever."
The noise and bustle surrounded me on all sides.
"Careful."
"Almost all the Fighters have gone looking for you," I heard a familiar female voice say. "Where the hell did you all go? Oh, and besides..." the woman sighed, "you won't have to explain yourself to me.
" "There's nothing to explain here," said another, familiar voice, belonging to someone I truly hated. "It's obvious what happened. The Guardian, through her irresponsibility, put the team in mortal danger! "
Anger burned in Kadekatz's voice. He didn't even try to hide it.
"What?" Naer shouted in disbelief.
"Not true," Neruki protested.
Liam clenched his fists.
"The truth is, we were left in the middle of nowhere, unprepared, at the mercy of a beast we shouldn't have fought at our current stage of learning. If there's anyone's fault, it's the person who failed to ensure the students' safety!
" "Silence," Kadekatz hissed.
But Liam wasn't about to listen.
"It was also a mistake to send someone on such a task who had absolutely no right to be prepared for it.
" "Mr. Liam, your future in this camp is increasingly in doubt, so I suggest you say no more.
" "Ah yes." This warning clearly didn't impress the young elf. "What are you trying to expel me for, Kadekatz? For the truth?"
A murmur ran through the crowd. It was likely never before that such a situation had occurred here, where Varret had addressed Narriz by name. It was forbidden. Liam was taking a risk now. A great risk. For me.
" "Liam," I began quietly. "Say no more."
I didn't want him thrown out of Evehre'ester because of me. On the other hand, I felt my thoughts growing increasingly chaotic; I couldn't concentrate. I wanted to say something, but I couldn't focus. With each passing moment, I relied more and more on the arms that held me. My strength was failing, but I wanted to hear something, to learn something.
Kadekatsu forested me before I could form a sentence.
"I, nor any of the Narriz here, will allow an irresponsible and immature person to endanger the lives of those around her. It's long been known that this Guardian here"—the man paused for a moment, but still tried to speak in a cool, matter-of-fact voice—"has caused her Guardians a great deal of trouble. Even now, two of them are traversing the forests of the Great Eastern Forest searching for her, risking their lives, thinking she's escaped again!"
He practically shouted the last word. He smiled with satisfaction, seeing the surprise on the faces of the mostly assembled students at the word "again." I didn't know my previous behavior wasn't common knowledge. I hadn't expected the Guardians to keep it a secret. I was pleasantly surprised, though it no longer mattered. Kadekatzu decided to exploit this fact to the fullest.
"Yes. She escaped. She's been running for the past few months from who she's become, from her duties, from what belongs to her, endangering everyone one by one. She's an irresponsible, self-absorbed, egotistical woman who thinks only of herself. She's here because the Guardians finally caught her and forced her! And this is supposed to be our Guardian? The protector of our souls?" he exclaimed, glaring at me.
There was no anger in his eyes like the one in his voice. It was a glint of satisfaction. He approached me slowly, cupping my chin. I turned my head sharply and looked at him again. Yes, definitely. It was satisfaction. But what could I do? Deny it? He'd told the truth… I'm so damn selfish…
"Did you really do it? Did you escape from Sul'lasill?"
Liam looked at me in disbelief, waiting for me to deny it. I didn't. I sighed deeply.
"Yes...
" "Are you still confessing?" Kadekatz muttered, smiling ironically, then added louder so everyone could hear. "Is our fate supposed to depend on her? Our lives? Our future?"
Silence fell. No one said anything. I closed my eyes. I didn't want to see the satisfaction on Narriz's face.
"Personally, I don't want a Guardian like that. We could all die because of her.
" "You're pushing yourself, Kadekatz." This isn't the time or place to judge. And you're not qualified to do so," snapped Missa, the healer who emerged from the crowd.
She was a Ruler, though she didn't want to mention the time spent in Karanel. She was the one who always took care of my broken fingers.
"Oh, really," he muttered, dissatisfied. "Are you defending her?
" "I don't have to, she'll defend herself once she's healed. Why are you standing there?" she snapped at Liam and Neruka, who were holding me up. "Take her to her room at last. Enough of this lynching," she finally huffed. "Creator Lena wouldn't have chosen her if she wasn't the right person. "
Kadekatzu snorted ironically.
"Like Naina? The perfect candidate, and what happened? How many innocent people died because of her?" Narriz's fury now echoed in his head. "Sheina is also human!
" "Enough of this!" "Missa snapped. "You'll take her away now.
" "Wait..." I took a deep breath.
I felt calm despite all the bitter words. Maybe it was the poison, or maybe something else. I wanted to say it...
"Do you have dreams, Kadekatz? I definitely do. And the kind that foretell the future?"
I smiled faintly at his reaction.
"What gibberish is this?
" "Not gibberish, Kadekatz."
My peace began to leave me. To say what I wanted to say, I had to remember...
"The future. Night after night, I wake up screaming, with nightmares of the future before my eyes. And it's people like you, for strange reasons, who will cause it."
I closed my eyes. I shook my head. This was my secret, my dreams, my nightmares. My future. My voice refused to obey me.
"How ironic, Kadekatz, because by my own choice I will die, for people like you, in defense of their souls, their future, and despite all the evil they've committed, I will want to die for them. And I will. Maybe in the end I won't be such a damned selfish person!"
Silence. Even Kadekatz didn't say anything. His expression betrayed nothing. And I started to tear up. I wanted to get away from this place as quickly as possible, from all those people watching me, from that damned Narriz who made me scream what was supposed to remain my secret.
"Get me out of here...
" After that, I only remember the surprised looks as I was led to my room. The ever-increasing weakness and the darkness that grew unnaturally stronger with each passing minute, and then only darkness.
Why did I say that?"
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