Shade

The man in the snow-white coat looked up from his glasses and, head bowed, looked at his assistant.

"Please give this patient something to calm him down – maybe he'll be able to sleep…"

The young man carefully jotted down the instructions and nodded. He looked at the doctor expectantly. His body language clearly indicated the question: "Anything else?" "

Schizophrenia… Change his medication to… Seconal… what he's been taking so far doesn't seem to be working…"

The man glanced at his medical records again, then looked around the room.

"I think that's everyone…" he muttered to himself, then added louder,

"Let's move on."

After a moment, the two men's footsteps faded away in the hospital corridor. The nurses from the afternoon shift slowly began preparing to finish another day's work. Soon they would receive instructions from their assistant, administer their medications, and be able to return home. Just then, the night shift arrived.

From the other side of the room, he heard the groans of one of the patients. Another night sucked the air from the hospital corridors and hid it in blackness.

Damn it… How much longer will I have to spend here? Always the same doctors…, Beasts, butchers… I don't want their yellow words, I don't want their loud pens… They'll inject me with that filth again… He'll come again… To prey… This time, maybe for me? I hear it closer and closer each time! That rustle… a faint chuckle… Let me out of here! Please! I'm begging you! I demand it! Give me just a little time, give me anything. You treat me like some kind of freak… You keep me locked up. You don't even know the harm you're doing to me! It comes every day. Every time it gets dark, he comes. He comes and looks at me. His eyes… They're terrifying! He pierces me with them, taking me away piece by piece! And you tell me I'm sick… You're tormenting me… No! Again the scrubs, again the nurse, again the needle! No! Oh… Why are you doing this to me… Why… are you doing this… whyoooo…

"Wipe it off him…" The nurses, despite the late hour, were still bustling with the patients. "In a moment, he'll be covered in saliva…"

A woman's hand wiped the man's face with a wet cloth, collecting half the saliva and spreading the rest across his face. In a few hours, he would have to be wiped again. The medicines the doctor had prescribed had completely dulled the man's mind. He couldn't move his hand, not even a finger, after using them… He could barely even blink… His eyes drooped downward, as if someone had hung lead weights on them.

Beds were spaced almost evenly along the opposite walls of the spacious ward. On each lay a man, paralyzed by the medicines administered. Most of them had long since fallen asleep, but this one hadn't. He was always the last to fall asleep, as if fighting sleep…

The nurses looked around at the patients' beds, then returned to their room for coffee and doughnuts, leaving the room shrouded in darkness.

Here he comes… Again… I can't stand it. He'll sit next to me, on the edge of the bed, staring at me… And stealing… Tomorrow morning, I'll be smaller again… When I tried to explain this to the board, to the doctors – they didn't believe me… Sure – why believe me when it would have been easier to just pump me full of shit and leave me here drooling, in my shitty underwear? The insurance money's rolling in, so why worry… A shot in the morning, a shot at noon, and a final shot in the evening. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner… Sadists…

He sits on the bed again and stares… I feel him peering right into my mind! Get out of here!

Most of the time, I manage to keep him out of my thoughts, not let him in. He looks at me then, taking me away piece by piece, as if he wants to swallow me, become me... More and more often I feel his sharp claws raking over my brain... This pain... It's becoming unbearable! Another day... How long can I endure? My eyeballs begin to twitch as he feels this touch on each subsequent fold... The pain of this touch is cruel! It leaves behind a feeling of a magnet resonating in all directions, muddying my mind.

The last injection has completely captivated me. Like all the previous ones, for that matter... I can't move, I can't even move! Can I scream? Can I?

I can't stand it anymore... It hurts!!! This thing is laying on top of me... I don't want to!!! It's moving back and forth, tearing my consciousness away! Get it away from me! Can you hear me?

Hey!

Can you hear meeeee?!

- Who's screaming there? Maria, one of the nurses, rose from the couch and shifted her gaze from the TV screen to Room F. All the patients lay still. None of them moved. Only a loud scream came from the back of the room.

"What the hell is going on?" the woman muttered under her breath and headed for the door leading to the room. Before entering, she turned on a flashlight. A regulation issued by the hospital management forbade them from turning on the lights in the rooms at night; it woke the patients and necessitated administering further doses of sleeping pills. The nurses also didn't want to wake up a group of over thirty crazy people in the middle of the night; there was too much work to do later...

The woman crossed the threshold and headed towards the source of the screams. After only a few steps, she knew which patient it was. She turned on her heel and returned to the door. With a resigned wave of her hand, she flipped the switch and turned off the flashlight. "He's screaming so much, he'll wake everyone else up in a moment..." she thought, grimacing. A moment later, the lamps glowed with a milky light. The nurse approached the glass between the room and the examination room and knocked vigorously on the glass. A moment later, the sleepy face of her colleague appeared on the other side. She shrugged and silently asked, "What's the matter?" Maria waved her hand.

"Go get one of the doctors. The one at the end of the room... He's screaming again." She gestured quickly towards the screams.

The nurse behind the glass sighed and nodded. A second later, she disappeared behind the door.

Maria moved towards the screaming patient. The people in the beds she passed were still fast asleep. "I hope they stay that way, damn it..." she muttered under her breath. The sight of the patient letting out inarticulate screams filled her with sympathy...

Get out of here... Get lost... Get lost! Leave...

Hee hee! Someone get here!!!

Light! Finally... But why hasn't it disappeared? It's still here... It's still gnawing at my brain...

Someone's coming! Help me! Can you hear me?! Help! Relief

... It's escaped somewhere, I wonder how long... I see it! It's crawling against the wall, running towards the exit! Catch it! Otherwise, it'll come for me again... Why did you let it out...

The sleepy doctor scratched his cheek, which had grown a millimeter of stubble over the past few hours. Freshly roused from sleep, he tried to focus his thoughts on the patient.

"Doctor?" he heard the nurse's urgent voice.

He would have preferred to continue sleeping, even if only on that miserable couch in the doctor's office. He'll spend the entire next day on duty again. The next day, meaning in about four hours.

"What did the head doctor order?" the man asked, leafing through the patient's chart.

"If I remember correctly, it's Seconal..." the nurse replied uncertainly.

"Yes, yes, I already have..." the doctor cut him off. "It doesn't seem to be helping him much..."

He began scratching his beard again.

"First, we'll move him to the isolation ward so he doesn't wake up the whole floor... Don't give him anything else today, just strap him in so he can't fall out of bed... "

The nurse, a little surprised, looked the doctor in the eye.

"What do you mean, he's supposed to scream like that all night?" she asked uncertainly.

"There's nothing else we can do now. I'm not giving him another medication; that would be ridiculous. If the Seconal didn't work, then there's nothing we can do today. I see he's already been given an increased dose..."

The man handed the chart back to the nurse.

"So what am I supposed to do with him?" she asked.

"What I said. Take him to the isolation ward and fasten his seatbelts. That's all for now. I'll consult with the head doctor tomorrow morning. That's all. Goodnight, goodbye, I'm out."

The doctor turned on his heel and trudged to the office to catch the fleeting hours of blessed sleep.

"Stupid prick," the nurse muttered through her teeth.

Secretly, she was happy because, despite the screams, none of the patients had woken up. The nurse considered it a miracle, then as quickly and quietly as she could, she pushed the bed with the patient into the hallway and turned off the light behind her.

Where are you taking me? I don't want any more injections...

I hear the elevator doors... Where are we going? It's crawling behind us! Can't you see it?

Damn it! It's here, with us! Stupid cows!

Do something… anything… I'm begging you…

Maria opened the isolation room door, and her colleague brought the bed with the patient inside. They expertly moved him to the other bed and began strapping him in. The man moaned every now and then, as if he wanted to say something. The nurses, however, ignored them. They wanted to finish this task as quickly as possible and return to their room. When they finished fastening the last seat belt, they stepped back and checked everything with their eyes. They didn't want to miss anything. It had happened before that a patient, supposedly securely strapped in, had somehow managed to escape and hurt himself.

"He's drooling again…" the nurse sighed.

"Now it's your turn, dear," Maria replied with a broad smile, turning on her heel and leaving the room.

The nurse pulled a used tissue from her apron pocket and, with a look of disgust on her face, wiped a trickle of saliva from the man's cheek. His glassy eyes pleaded for the woman to look into them and read the plea for help. She wasn't busy wiping, though. She finished and looked around, searching for a place to leave the tissue. She didn't want to put it back in her pocket. Without a second thought, she tucked it under the stained pillow beneath the man's head and, pleased with her brilliant idea, left the room, swaying her hips from side to side to the rhythm of the song she hummed under her breath. The door lock clicked softly, and the footsteps of the departing nurses began to fade in the hallway. A few tears leaked from the man's eyes. Only a faint shaft of light from the hallway filtered in through the tiny window in the isolation room door.

I'm finished... I'm all alone here... No one can help me now.

I know you're here. There's no point in hiding. Exactly... come out...

Stalker... I've been seeing you for so many years. I don't want any more. What do I have to do to finally get you to leave me alone? What? Are you serious? How do you even imagine that? You think I can just walk out of here? That I'll just walk past the security guards and nurses? Look around! This is a closed facility! It's because of you that I was locked up here. If it weren't for you, I'd be with my... Our daughter would have a father! And now, she only has memories of him. And what are they? She'll forever remember the nurses wrapping her old man in a straitjacket and taking him to the mental hospital... Because of you!

How is it not your fault? Whose fault is it – mine? I volunteered here? Yours, only yours. You were the one who started following me around, stalking me. And I was stupid enough to care about you back then. The stupidest thing I ever did was tell my doctor about you. Then it got worse... And you're telling me it wasn't you...

You ruined my life. You took everything from me. And now that I'm practically nothing, you want to take away the last thing I have? Who are you?

I don't believe you. Why me? There are so many people, even just in this city. Did you have to choose me?

Wait! Wait, I say! Can you give me some answers? Stop, wait!

No! Nooooo! It hurts! It hurts so much…

Don't touch me… Anyway, whatever you want…

Maybe it's better than rotting in this filthy hospital…

A higher being…

I'll be able to look at my daughter every day…

And at her…

It hurts so much… Terrible… Does it have to be so painful, can't we do without it?

Where did all this…

…light suddenly come from?

"How is that possible?" the doctor rose to his feet and tucked his pen into his coat pocket.

"I don't know… I just went to check, and then…" the nurse couldn't gather her thoughts.

"Let's go there, you can tell me on the way," the doctor decided. His beard had grown another millimeter. The head doctor would point out again that he hadn't shaved.

"So? Well, tell me, one at a time..." he said to her in a gentle tone, trying really hard to keep his tone gentle.

The confused woman struggled to gather the words she wanted to say.

"Around two o'clock, we took him to the isolation ward, exactly as you instructed. We fastened his seatbelts very carefully, checked them several times...

" "Are you sure you checked them?" the man asked in disbelief.

"I'm sure," the nurse replied firmly. The doctor nodded.

"We closed the door to his room and went back to our room. Just before four, I went out to check the entire hallway. I expected him to... that he would continue screaming, but when I approached the door – it was completely silent... I then looked through the window and..." the woman paused, her voice trailing off uncertainly.

They stopped in front of the isolation room door. The man folded his arms across his chest.

"And you saw that there was no one there, right?" he asked dismissively. "Please open the door."

The nurse, her hands trembling, tried to find the key that fit the lock.

"Are you telling me that a patient heavily sedated, strapped down, and locked in an isolation room, just vanished in less than two hours, leaving no trace behind?"

The door opened, and the doctor strode into the isolation room. He stopped in the middle and looked at the bed with a surprised look, then at the nurse. His voice caught in his throat. The woman standing before him only shook her head. The bed was completely empty. The straps that had bound the patient were still fastened, seemingly untouched. Only a used tissue lay under the bed.

The man and the woman paid no attention to the shadow that passed through the half-open door just below the floor and, keeping to the darkened side of the corridor, moved towards the exit.