From Julka's diary

...

I was supposed to spend this day with Marcin, my boyfriend. We'd been preparing for this for a long time, and now he decided to introduce me to his family. We'd been together for three years now, and I was finally going to meet someone more than just his parents and sister. We were going to the water's edge, to the cottage of his cousin Daniel's parents. From stories I'd heard, he was Marcin's best friend.

8 a.m., that's when we planned to leave. Of course, we were late, as always. Quickly to the car; we had about 50 kilometers to drive, so the delay wouldn't be too long. A good start, but in the end, it wasn't my fault; Marcin had gotten up too late.

We arrived shortly afterward; I didn't think I'd be so excited. After all, it was just a meeting. I'd never been so nervous in my life. But a few deep breaths helped, and we walked over to the laughing group in front of the house. There was Marta, Marcin's sister, and Daniel. The boy with eyes that spoke volumes about his soul, a smile that warmed my heart. My boyfriend started the conversation:

"Hi Daniel. I wanted to introduce you to Julka. This is the girl I've been telling you so much about. She's the one who changed me so much.

" "He's changed thanks to me, but he doesn't have to bring it up like that. Daniel doesn't care. Who would be interested in someone like me? Certainly not him, he's too... wonderful. No, how can I even think that? He's Marcin's brother. Marcin is my boyfriend, not Daniel. Julka, get yourself together, you're dreaming of the wrong guy." "

I finally have the opportunity to meet you." Marcin has spoken highly of you. Now we'll see if he wasn't exaggerating.

"I've heard a lot about you too, and I'm glad I finally met you."

During that brief conversation, we looked into each other's eyes. Neither of us looked away; I didn't even think about it for a moment.

Marcin's family turned out to be wonderful. I talked to them a lot during that short day. I noticed Daniel looking at me several times. Besides, I didn't owe him anything. I often found myself thinking,

"Jesus, why couldn't I have met him earlier? He's so beautiful, smart, kind. But I can't be happy with him because I'm with Marcin. Or maybe that's the way it is... no, I can't do that. I can't break up with Marcin so I can be happy with Daniel. No, that's not possible."

My impression of Daniel's personality became clearer during our conversation. The sun was starting to set, so I decided to go and see what the lake looked like, bathed in its last rays.

"Yes, the water's surface is gorgeous at this time of day," it was Daniel; I hadn't even noticed him arrive. "

Yes, it's true. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I haven't had the opportunity to be by the water at this time yet."

"It's strange, but at the same time, I'm glad that this time I'm here."

His sincere smile made me forget my embarrassment. I didn't think it had such power. Daniel continued the conversation.

"When I was little, I always liked coming to the lake at this time of day. It often held my sorrows, joys, and regrets. It's made up of many of my tears. But that probably doesn't interest you." He cut me off immediately when he saw something in my eyes I was trying to hide – a dreaminess, and, even stranger, a longing for him.

"On the contrary, I'm very interested. Please continue."

We spent three hours reminiscing like this, until they finally started looking for us. A terrified Marcin and Marta burst onto the beach. They thought something had happened to us. But they breathed a sigh of relief when they saw we were safe and sound. However, I noticed a hint of concern in Marcin's eyes. After all, it was only Daniel and I there, and no one knew what we were doing. But one kiss made all the bad thoughts that had been tormenting my boyfriend vanish. However, during that conversation with Daniel, I realized that something was missing in my and Marcin's relationship. That first fascination with another person, and that's what I found in my conversation with Daniel.

But all good things come to an end, and so did this wonderful day. Unfortunately, we had to go home that evening. When I arrived, I didn't think it would be so hard to leave. It also never crossed my mind what I know now:

"I love two guys who are so close, they're brothers. And also friends, people who trust each other. Does my relationship with Marcin make sense now?"

Farewell, of course, including Daniel. I didn't expect the words I heard. More precisely, they were:

"You're a truly wonderful girl. I'm really glad Marcin found you." But there was sadness in his eyes, as if he were losing something he cared deeply about.

"No, that's impossible. Daniel definitely doesn't feel the same way about me as I do about him."

All I did was smile sheepishly and run to the car because we had to leave. But the ride back wasn't pleasant. The whole time, one thought kept running through my head:

"You're so stupid! He was sad for some reason, and you ran to Marcin as if nothing had happened. You idiot! You want to be with him, yet you didn't even care what was bothering him."

Back home, showered, and slept. I wanted to forget as quickly as possible about how I felt, about what he said, and how I reacted. Sleep, yes, that was what I needed then. I'd relax, and tomorrow everything would be as it was before. One thing comforts me: Marcin doesn't suspect a thing.

But tomorrow wasn't any better. I still felt resentful of myself. Regret that I hadn't told Daniel what I felt. However, I decided on one thing:

"If I ever meet him again, I'll definitely tell him how I felt. Because who knows, maybe the same feeling will come back in time. Even if not, I'll admit it anyway."

Another month passed since that meeting, and I still felt the same way.

"Maybe it's just because I haven't seen Daniel for so long and I don't know if it's just infatuation or something more? No, I don't believe what I'm saying. Yes, the next meeting will be better; only it will solve my insecurities."

Suddenly, a worried Marcin burst into the apartment.

"Julka, dinner for three tonight, we're having a guest.

" "But who is it? Do I even know him? I'd like to know who you invited.

" "Honey, don't be upset. I didn't have time to tell you, I'm sorry. Daniel's coming, I'm sure you remember him."

Those words were like a paralyzer. I didn't know what to say or what to do. I had one thought in my head:

"God, you're doing this on purpose, so I can tell him the whole truth. Daniel... how am I supposed to tell you?"

The hours flew by. I felt like a little child about to go to preschool for the first time. There was a lot of stress, impatience, and fear of what would happen. But time doesn't stand still. At precisely 3 p.m., I heard the long-awaited doorbell. Marcin answered, as I wasn't ready yet. I immediately heard Daniel's wonderful, deep voice:

"I brought wine; after all, I couldn't come without anything.

" "The most important thing is that you finally visited us," I said as I entered the hallway, a genuine smile on my lips.

His eyes danced with happiness, or perhaps fear, and his gaze rested on me. I wanted to hug Daniel, but I couldn't let that happen. I had to do something, so I invited everyone to the table. Dinner, considering my culinary skills, was very good. There was lots of laughter and reminiscing. However, one thing I didn't anticipate: the news Daniel brought us. During dessert, he suddenly turned serious, and we immediately sensed something was wrong.

"I have to tell you something. I'm leaving for the States for a year the day after tomorrow." I got a job offer from a friend who lives there.

I didn't know what to say. Part of my life suddenly collapsed. "Daniel is leaving, it's impossible." Marcin was the first to react:

"Daniel, you've got to be kidding. Why? You have everything here: a home, a family, a job. "

I waited for a reply, and I got it.

"Yes, I have a lot, but I don't have the most important thing: the love of the woman I fell in love with at first sight."

As he spoke, his eyes rested on me. That's when I felt I should tell him how I felt. I knew I could trust him. As he was getting ready to leave, I told him the whole truth. Hope lit up in Daniel's eyes, but I wasn't ready to leave Marcin at that point.

Six months have passed since that event. Now I'm certain: in a week I'm flying to Daniel, to the States. He's the one man I've been waiting for my whole life.