From today on, everything was supposed to change..., everything was supposed to be different... More beautiful...? Yes, I guess that's how it was supposed to be... - more beautiful. Because all I wanted was for things to be better. I was tired of the constant arguments, the stupid jealousies, the unexplained situations. He promised he'd change, that he wouldn't act like a brat anymore... that he'd do it for me... I believed him. Because I trusted him, and above all, I loved him... like no other. First love... One of those young years...
We first met when I was in elementary school... he was two years older... I liked him from the moment a friend introduced me to him... six months later, we were already holding hands... "Love story," that's how you could call it. At first, we were together for six months... we broke up... heh, it's strange how everything turned out... There was a break... maybe a year. Yes, it was a year. I remember writing him a letter... that I loved him... until recently, I thought it was stupid... very much..., but now I know that if you love someone... you have to fight for them. Did I fight? No. I think I was waiting for him to make a move. At least a simple "hello." After our last conversation, we didn't speak to each other for a year and a half. Heh... funny... Unfortunately, it happens. Our conversation was strange. He said he loved... me, that no one else, that I was the only one, that he couldn't imagine life without me... I said "no." Why? Heh... because I thought that if we'd been together for so long... and broken up and got back together, then we clearly weren't meant for each other. I said I loved... but that I didn't want... Did I make a mistake...? Certainly... I had to vent to someone... It fell on my friend. I told him everything. What was bothering me, wouldn't let me rest. When I returned, he was standing with my friend in his arms... heh... they were already together. Only an hour and a half had passed. Did he love me like that? Heh... supposedly. True, they hadn't been together for long. But he said one thing, did another. It felt strange. I managed somehow.
Last time I came home from a friend's house, he was leaving. Honestly, it was killing me that we hadn't spoken to each other for so long... I spoke.
"Hi..." He was surprised, it was obvious. He probably thought I'd look up and look away, as usual. No, not this time.
"Hi..." He stopped. His eyes were wandering. He only glanced at me occasionally. It was quite awkward.
"Don't you think... we should explain something...?" I asked uncertainly. I'd had enough of this stupid behavior.
"Explain... Hmm... something for sure... but sorry... not here and not now... I'm in a hurry. I have the number, I'll call. Sorry again, bye."
And he left. Well, I should have expected that. He wasn't prepared for this. In fact, I thought he'd look at me like I was an idiot and leave... that he wouldn't call me, but he did. I didn't have to wait long for his call; we had already arranged to meet him the next day. I was nervous. Very nervous. What could I possibly tell him? We agreed to go for a walk that evening. He still knew what I liked. At first, we talked about everything and nothing. Only when we sat down on a bench did a serious conversation begin.
"It's strange, isn't it? We used to have so much in common, and now when we pass each other, we avoid each other's eyes, as if we didn't know each other. Is that really the case...? Do we have to act like two strangers...?" I tried to explain to him what we were both doing wrong. My voice was trembling. "You
're right. It doesn't make sense. We did have a lot in common once. In my opinion... we should be friends; you probably won't want to..., but let's not act like children." He spoke slowly, as if wanting me to understand everything properly. I did.
The conversation dragged on for a long time. Finally, I looked deep into his eyes...
"You know... I never told you how much you meant to me... you meant... I also never told you how much I missed you every day, your touch, your smile, you made everything different, with different colors for me. Sometimes, in front of the window, I look at photos, then I look at you sitting on the field, playing football, laughing. And I never told you... how much I love you." At that very moment, a tear fell from my eyes. One, the only one. So quietly, so gently. But he saw it. He hugged me. I could smell his perfume again, the closeness of his body, that warmth I'd been missing for so long...
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