I need to be raised to be a decent person. No, not like that. Civilized. Neither... Put a whip on all my antics (better), put a leash on them and keep them on a tight leash...
Unfortunately, the exact phrases I used weren't used. It's a shame, because I really like them. But it was also interesting. I learned that I'm, among other things: stubborn, loud-mouthed, too arrogant, independent, curious, self-confident, ironic, etc. My antics should be immediately and decisively curbed and generally monitored at every step, like a small child. Except, my situation is worse because our not-so-wise authorities have already issued me an ID card instead of incapacitating me.
What happened? Of course, I didn't do anything outrageous. I feel offended by the accusations made against me and demand a correction and the restoration of my honor. The following events took place:
On Saturday around 11 p.m., a certain –usz showed up at my place. The late hour was a result of several factors: this person had to go to work (yes, yes – on a Saturday), then to the library (that's my fault), and then get there. First, I was reprimanded for not greeting him with all the proper greetings, but for being online and probably flirting with everyone I could (and here I'm giving a shout-out to some of the people I was talking to).
I was just about to put on some tea when my cell phone unexpectedly found signal, which doesn't happen often in my house. I read the text messages, and something moved me. The one from Emilka contained two letters: SC. We have an agreement that if one of us really needs help, but seriously (not for problems like: where's my cup in the bowl?), we send a text with those letters, and then the other person quickly shows up, regardless of what they're doing or where they are. I was very upset because the message was sent after 4 PM. After 6 p.m., I should have received another one, in which my friend wrote that something was waiting for me and I just had to pick it up as quickly as possible. Poor Emilka! So many hours without help, alone in this heartless world, surely dying, convinced everyone had abandoned her...
I immediately started looking for my car keys, and of course, I couldn't find them. I did what I always do: I grabbed my dad's. With one hand, I put on my jacket, with the other, I turned on the tap and poured water into the kettle (I promised him tea), while explaining to him that he couldn't take me there because it was a woman's thing, that I wasn't crazy, and that I'd be back in a moment. I ran out of the house without my documents, but with a slipper in hand, which he informed me of when he returned.
Emilka was gone. Emilka's brother (not brother), not surprised at all, handed me a letter from her. I guess I messed up...
I was back home in about 20 minutes. Fourteen kilometers in both directions and a short conversation with Piotruś – everything was in the plan.
Of course, at home, I had to listen to a heated conversation about what I was doing. I must have gone crazy. I get a text message and probably some virus along with it, which is driving me crazy. I leave the kettle on and run out of the house with a slipper in one hand and a comb in the other (what did I do with that comb?). Leaving him alone, I could have caused a fire. And I'm driving like a maniac; for those few minutes, I should have at least driven out the gate (pfft!), not visited Emilka.
I calmly explain that as for the water, he was home, and besides, boiling three liters of water in that kettle takes about half an hour, so I could have at least walked. I wouldn't have done that if the house were empty! I drive as I drive, and there's no arguing with that. I'll just go get the slipper and the comb will eventually be found. But if he absolutely needs it, I can find another one... I'm very sorry for being left alone, but it was an exceptional situation. Besides, he knows Emilka, so he shouldn't complain.
These logical arguments, however, didn't stop the flow of words. At one point, I interrupted him and asked if he wasn't surprised that I'd put in three liters of water when two glasses only needed half a liter. Everyone is usually outraged by such waste. He said he hadn't thought about it, but after a moment, he asked why I'd done it. I replied that the water was for Protazy, who is an aristocrat and only drinks boiled water. This momentarily threw him off course, but after a moment, he regained his composure and began his tirade again.
I would probably quote it here as a warning to future generations, had I listened. The books he'd brought were lying within sight...
That's almost the end of the story. Almost. Now, the conclusions and the moral. I presented the first ones at the beginning, and the moral is that I'm grounded for everything. Apart from going to work, I have to stay at home, preferably in my own room ("don't go into the kitchen!"), not think when nothing is happening and think when something starts happening, etc. etc. Because if not... Well, -usz has a hold on me. So, hard times have come...
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