And yet different!

One day, I felt like I was being born again. From then on, nothing was the same. I changed. I broke the mold. I couldn't help but look like other girls, but I knew I thought differently. But the life that had begun within me existed only in my head, my thoughts.

The days always passed the same, as if no one had any control over them. I always woke up at the same time. I washed and ate breakfast with the others. Now that I've escaped the factory and seen how diverse the world is, I can't believe we were so identical. I know that people with the same genes are the same, but even the thought of other girls feels like a dream.

I've described us as "people with the same genes" because it's hard to think of yourself as someone else's clone, even a thousand duplicates. It's not pleasant not to have your own personality or even a name. Those who created us clearly didn't think about that. And they should have. Instead, they numbered us and assigned us to specific tasks. I don't know who the creators of this "program" are, but whoever they are, I wish them the worst.

After breakfast, we all met in a huge factory hall. We lined up in neat rows. Then we were counted.

After roll call, each of us went to our station. We carried test tubes, checked parameters on the windows of darkened chambers. At the time, I thought these activities were completely pointless; I didn't know what they were for. Today I know: we were producing more clones.

When I remember that world, I get chills. It was hell. I don't think about the conditions there. They were very good. Apparently, the creators of the "program" wanted us to be healthy. Hell was the constant feeling of blurring my own consciousness. When I'm sick, that feeling returns. I lie in bed, knowing that my "self" is floating somewhere near the ceiling, that I am tiny and that no one will ever speak to me. This may not sound terrible or be well-described. The horror of such an experience is only known when experienced.

Each of us remained in this state, checking the colors of reagents or going to sleep. One day I awoke from this state, but my companions remain in it to this day.

After my "birth," I began to reflect on many things, on questions like those everyone sometimes asks:

Why do I exist? or Who am I? The only world I knew back then was the factory, but something told me there was a world outside. I began to think about it, creating it inch by inch in my imagination. I also came up with a name: Akea. This helped me build myself, as if from scratch.

I stopped falling asleep and waking up at the same times as the other girls, who were lost in their stupor. Once, I woke up about an hour earlier. I got up and went into the shared bathroom. I noticed it looked different. After a moment, I realized it was the lighting: it was slightly darker than usual. I looked around and noticed that the light was streaming into the room through a long, glass-covered opening. But I couldn't see where it was coming from. I climbed up the shower faucets and grabbed the edge of the large alcove in front of the opening. The alcove was so wide that I managed to step into it and sit down.

At that moment, for the first time in my life, I had proof that the factory wasn't the only world. I saw a bright orange space, with white and pink puffs moving across it. I sat there, speechless, for an hour. At that moment, the space turned blue. I was enchanted; I couldn't take my eyes off it. It was fantastic: a small patch of blue. I called it heaven.

Meanwhile, the girls awoke and went into the bathroom. They didn't notice me in that alcove, and even if they had, they wouldn't have reacted. They showered, washed up, and left.

A tiny plan then formed in my head. I decided not to go to assembly with them. I was a little scared, but I knew that even if they did something to me, I would have a chance to get out. I clung to that hope like a drowning man to a straw and went back downstairs. I sat in the corner and waited. I knew exactly when the girls would sit down at the table, when they would stand up, when they would start lining up.

I closed my eyes and conjured up an image of heaven in my mind. I heard heavy, quick footsteps coming from our bedroom. Surely none of the girls could walk like that. The footsteps grew louder. They pounded in my head, filling the entire space. Ten seconds sometimes felt like an eternity.

The bathroom door opened. Several men dressed in black stood there. They, too, were as alike as drops of water. That's how I remembered them. They took me by the arms and lifted me, then led me into the hall. They weren't brutal, they treated me like an object. Just like I treated test tubes: carefully, but without any particular gentleness. I saw the same blank look in their eyes. I followed them without resistance. Through the lines of girls in white coats, they led me to one of the walls. Two of their colleagues were waiting for them there. The wall parted, revealing a long, dark corridor, at the end of which I saw a white light. Before the wall returned to its previous position, I took in my entire life in one glance. I felt no pity for it.

We finally reached a brightly lit room. The glare momentarily stung my eyes. The hall and bedrooms had never been so brightly lit. In the center of the room stood a desk, and behind it sat an elderly man.

"What the hell?" he greeted me. "What's going on?"

I didn't know what he wanted from me, so I remained silent. The other men left, and the door closed behind them. I almost missed them. I was left alone with the man who wasn't a clone.

He slammed the desk with all his might, making his hand ache.

"What happened to you, duplicate?" he asked.

I still had no idea what to say. He pressed a button on the desk and said,

"Get Dr. Polewsky here quickly!"

Then he stood up and began pacing nervously. He muttered under his breath that he would teach me some manners and other such things. That's when I realized he was personally responsible for the "program."

After a few minutes, a woman entered the room. The sight of her was a shock to me, because I realized she was my prototype. She was the one who had been cloned.

"Dr. Polewsky, what does that mean?!" he attacked the woman. "That's not what we agreed. Now they'll all start rebelling!"

Dr. Polewsky had clearly known the man for quite some time and knew how to deal with him.

"One clone doesn't determine the success of the experiment. Besides, I'll take care of her myself. I'm taking her out of here."

She extended her hand to me. I took it without hesitation, having decided to submit to whatever was thrown at me without resistance for now.

"Let's go," she said.

"Fine," I replied.

Before we left, the man began:

"If this incident happens again...

" "It won't happen again," the doctor cut me off.

The door closed behind us. I walked down the dark corridor again, but now I felt safer.

"What will you do with me?" I asked. "

I'll let you out. Although I don't know if you can handle it. You've never been outside." You don't know what kind of world this is. But the important thing is that you leave this place. Nothing better can happen to you," she said cheerfully. "

Why are you letting me out of here?"

She laughed.

"I'd like to leave myself, but I can't. Not yet. "

"I'm your clone, right?"

She nodded.

"It's not pleasant being a clone," I said.

"It's not pleasant being cloned either."

I thought for a moment:

"Then why did you allow this to happen to you?"

"I didn't," she replied quickly.

We turned into a brighter corridor. I felt that my new dream world would soon open before me.

"I don't know if I'm doing the right thing by letting you go. Be careful. I'll call my brother, he'll take care of you. You'll go straight down the road, as far as possible. He'll find you.

" "What will you do if they ask about me?"

"Don't worry, I'll manage. "

We stood before a closed door.

"Thank you," I said quietly.

She pressed a button in the wall and opened the door. The reality outside exceeded my wildest expectations. The world was better than I had imagined.

***

If my actions depended solely on my genes and the environment in which I was raised, I would still be locked away with the other girls.