RETALIATION

A few days ago, the country was shaken by a mighty "ooooh." Winter had once again surprised drivers.

An extraordinary congress of the National Association of Frequently Driving People was immediately called for the occasion. The meeting was opened by the elderly Vladimir, who, ignoring the usual greetings, roared:

"This is a scandal! We've been surprised again! What do the management say about this?! Weren't we promised that this would never happen again? How do they plan to justify themselves? And what do they plan to do next year?"

Nestor fell silent, looked around the room with fiery eyes, then muttered a satisfied "yes!" and left the podium. This was just what the representative of the radical Sprzęgło faction, Sławek "Drajwer" Żyła, had been waiting for. He stormed the podium and hurriedly began shouting:

"There is no other way but revenge!" We need to surprise winter in its lair." He paused for a moment, wondering where on earth that word had come from. "Let's go to Spitsbergen and burn it down."

This was the first proposal from the Sprzęgło faction to generate any interest from other groups. However, it was quickly rejected due to the high costs and logistical difficulties associated with transporting the appropriate amount of firewood. After this discussion, it was time for the most important person in the union, President George George, to speak.

"I understand and share your outrage. This IS a scandal. However, we can promise that this situation will not repeat itself next year. We will not be surprised by winter. We will make it a balloon. But for this, I need your perfect cooperation."

A multitude of voices rippled through the room.

"But how?

" "Ours? But what?

" "Who has a tenner?"

George raised his hand, and the murmur subsided.

"When will winter surprise us? November at the earliest." How does winter surprise us? It snows and we can't drive, even if we want to. Which means we have to NOT WANT to drive. In other words: from November 1st of next year, we won't be using our cars.

Absolute silence fell. And only after a few seconds did a collective "ooooh" resound – the drivers expressed their surprise. They always reacted this way. But within moments, a triumphant "yes!" and "hurray" echoed from various parts of the room. The genius of the entire undertaking began to sink in: they wouldn't be surprised because they wouldn't care. There would be no traffic jams because no one would be using their cars anyway. The date, set a year in advance, gave them time to prepare for the day when they would have to abandon their vehicles. There would be no delays, no accidents, no panic, and no frustration. President George was a genius.

Preparations for the project began quickly. Drivers from the suburbs moved to their city centers. All affiliated individuals were offered psychological sessions on "How Not to Drive and Survive," while a radical faction of the radical Clutch faction began gathering explosives to set fire to gas stations the day before the operation began. Winter had no chance.

On October 31st, everything was ready. At the stroke of midnight, the roads were deserted, and drivers across the country began celebrating their victory over the whims of nature. Now all that was left was to await the frost and snow, and then, from the comfort of their homes, mock the disgraced winter. Drivers waited with cameras and camcorders, eager to capture the surprise of their eternal enemy.

...And so passed November. And December. Winter never came. In mid-January, when temperatures reached 10 degrees above zero, President George received the first threatening emails from frustrated drivers. Instead of a disgraced winter, cameras began capturing the wonders of nature – blossoming apple trees and Cypriot footballers coming to Poland to prepare for the spring round. In February, the Sprzęgło faction began organizing "Provocation Rides," during which its members opened their windows wide and enjoyed the spectacle of good weather. At the beginning of March, President George locked himself indoors and began performing ancient Slavic rituals evoking frost. However, the sun was beating down ever more intensely. The highlanders claimed that they had never seen such a beautiful spring, which didn't change the fact that over half the population fell into depression. Finally, with the arrival of April, everyone realized what had happened.

Winter had surprised drivers once again.