Summer 2005.

It was a very hot summer; his wife and her daughter were away for treatments. I, of course, took advantage of the opportunity to see him whenever I could. I visited him often, hugged him, and exchanged sweet nothings. I was always there for him. And when he finished his work on the farm, we went upstairs to his place and gave him a massage. I felt wonderful then, sitting on his legs, massaging his beautiful, muscular body. Those evenings were wonderful; I remember them to this day. One evening, when I had to leave, he grabbed my leg and asked if I wanted to stay longer. I looked at him and replied that I had to go or I would be embarrassed again at home. Grandma and everyone around knew I had feelings for him, saying he had a wife, two children, and a third on the way. However, I didn't care and continued to wade into the swamp. The more often I saw him, the more I hated him and fell deeper in love. Summer It was over, time to pack and go home to get ready for school. I was very sad because I knew I wouldn't see him for a whole year. I left without saying goodbye because my cousin, of course, had to come. I drove home in the car with my grandfather and grandmother, looking out the window, remembering the moment he took me on his lap in the kitchen and stroked my back. We arrived home, and as usual, I was scolded at the door for behaving badly. I was angry at the whole world for not letting me be with my loved one. The school year began, and the hard work began. I couldn't concentrate while sitting in class. And so it went for almost 10 months. I sent him messages, I wrote, but he didn't respond. I knew something was wrong, that things weren't good. However, there was a light at the end of the tunnel because he got internet and I got his IG. I wrote to him often, telling him I couldn't live without him anymore and that he loved him. He didn't respond. And I missed him more and more, his body, his little eyes when he hugged me, and his whispers. I didn't give up, and finally he answered, but in one sentence. He told me he had a wife and three children, which I'd known for a long time. That he wouldn't fall in love with me and that I should get treatment because there was probably something wrong with me. I told him then that he wouldn't change my feelings and that he should do something about it because I couldn't live without him anymore. However, I feel like something has burned out between us, that the desire isn't there anymore. But I hope that will change when we meet and when we're together, because I've loved him for two years and I won't stop.