DRAGON

The small village where this story takes place lay in a charming valley surrounded by mountains on all sides. This location guaranteed independence from all the currents and trends of the changing world. Outside, successive governments rose and fell, new clubs won the Champions League, but here, only the village head elections and the fourth-division playoffs of the local LZS (Long-Tier Sports Association) mattered. The best evidence of this frozen time was the dragon, Zygmunt, who had lived in a nearby cave for over 500 years, breathing fire and demanding virgins. Over those 500 years, however, Zygmunt was tamed, and instead of virgins, the villagers offered him sheep, pigs, and potatoes. Zygmunt received virgins only when a particularly ugly girl was born in the village. It's clear: a headache for the parents, joy for Zygmunt. Everyone was happy.

And so the villagers lived peacefully with the dragon, unwavering for centuries. However, one day the modern world burst into the village and shattered the order established by their ancestors.

As every Saturday, the village headman went to Sigismund's cave to offer a sacrifice – this time a small, shaggy lamb. After making the offering and exchanging traditional pleasantries, the headman was about to return home when the dragon said,

"Listen... Don't bring me any more virgins, okay?

" "Why?" the headman asked resolutely.

"Because I want you to bring me a man instead of virgins.

" "How so?" There was silence. Only after a moment did the dragon speak timidly:

"I'm gay. I've been hesitant for a long time, but today I felt it for sure. I'm gay.

" "Aha..." The headman realized that an era in the village's life had just ended. He made a timid attempt to salvage the situation. "But listen, maybe it'll pass, right? No, I'm not saying it's a disease, you know, you're okay, but maybe it can be reversed somehow...? You know, men are needed in the village, they cultivate the fields, build houses, and it would be a shame to give up such a workforce... Do you know what they look like? Every man is strong as an oak, paws like a bear's, broad shoulders, muscles of iron..." He stopped here, seeing that Zygmunt the Dragon, instead of showing understanding, was blushing and sighing. "Okay, Zygmunt. I'll see what I can do."

The village headman smiled at the dragon and was immediately frightened by this reflex. "Just don't get any ideas," the headman thought. "I have to be careful. Next time I'll bring armor." He assumed a perfectly neutral expression, nodded in farewell, and headed back to the village.

For the first few weeks, seemingly nothing changed. Offerings for Zygmunt didn't go beyond the standard animal-and-potato set. However, with each visit from the village headman, the dragon became increasingly insistent in its demand for a man. On the sixth Saturday, it stood before the headman in a dramatic pose, pulled out a note hidden under its tail, and read:

"I, Zygmunt the Dragon, wish to announce that, regardless of stereotypes regarding my sexual orientation, I will soon become merciless and with a single breath, I will burn half your village. Next Saturday, I demand that a young, robust man be brought to the cave. Zygmunt the Dragon."

Surprised by this statement, the village head thought for a moment and then delivered it with equal solemnity:

"Dear Dragon, Merciful One Coexisting with Us Forever! I understand your needs. However, as a representative of the local community, I dare say that our people are not ready for such a revolutionary change. Therefore, I appeal to you, Zygmunt, to refrain from venting your anger and instead organize a march during which you can accustom the local community to your differences. Village head."

The dragon pondered and asked:

"And can you guarantee my safety during such a march?" At that moment, the village head's imagination flashed before him, bringing to mind the image of young admirers of traditional values ​​who inhabited the village in considerable numbers.

"Unfortunately, I am unable to.

" "In that case, the village head will not approve this march. There is no other option: next week you bring me a man."

The village head didn't sleep a single hour for the entire next week. He mentally reviewed the list of villagers, searching for a sacrifice for Zygmunt. Saturday arrived, and the village headman was still stuck in his starting position. Only just before the appointed hour did he come up with a solution. He hugged the village headman's wife tighter than usual, tenderly petted the young village headman, and went to the dragon. Zygmunt had been watching for the village headman and the man accompanying him since early morning, and his spirits were boiling at the sight of a familiar figure, who, clearly defying warnings, was approaching him alone.

"Dragon Zygmunt!" the village headman gasped, standing before the cave. "I couldn't sacrifice anyone from the village. These people are too important to me. That's why I'm asking you, I've brought myself to you. I may not be young, but I'm still a strong and respectable man. I don't want you to eat me. I want to live with you."

"I don't want to eat you," the dragon replied. "You have too good a heart for that. Hug me."

The village head awkwardly hugged Zygmunt's green neck, and both of them felt at once that they had finally found the meaning of their lives. They knew that from now on, the dragon's lair would become their shared home.

When the villagers learned what had happened, a scandal erupted. Protests and demonstrations began, during which effigies of the dragon and the village headman were burned. No one dared resort to direct violence (how could anyone approach a fire-breathing Zygmunt?), but everyone dared resort to verbal violence. After several days of protests, a new village headman was elected. However, this one, unlike the old one, showed no concern for the well-being of his local community. Protests, conflicts, and a poor village headman – this small village was no longer any different from the outside world.