I felt very strange. Although I had never been able to swim, I was now floating on the ocean waves. What's more, despite my innate aversion to water, it gave me immense pleasure. Gusts of wind tore away my already rather modest clothing. Suddenly, I defied the waves and stood firmly on the water's surface. I looked around. I let out a cry of surprise. I must admit, this surprise was a pleasant one. Mermaids were streaming toward me from all directions. Truly, this language is too poor to describe their beauty. Their ample, snow-white breasts gleamed magnificently in the moonlight. The shimmering tails, covered with shimmering scales, with which these semi-divine creatures bounced off the water with innate grace, also aroused great desire in me. The delicate features of their faces further captivated my imagination. I moved forward, eager to possess one of the mermaids. I trembled, thinking of the bliss that awaited me in a moment. However, when I tenderly embraced the first beauty, she only laughed coquettishly and vanished into thin air. Undeterred by my failure, I moved toward the next mermaid. My chosen one seemed incredibly eager for a little love play. I felt immense satisfaction in being able to draw this truly heavenly creature to my breast. My bliss, however, did not last long. When I finally wanted to satisfy my lust, I realized there was only emptiness before me. Somewhat resigned, I looked down. I was no longer floating above the ocean. Below me was a cloud; I had been transformed into a dove. Suddenly, I felt an animalistic lust welling up within me. Every moment, a dove flew right in front of my nose. Each one looked even more innocent than the last. I felt like I would explode like a volcano if I didn't satisfy my desire soon. I launched myself into a chase after the immaculately beautiful bird. She was clearly mocking me. She was faster, but she didn't want me to lose sight of her. Every now and then, she turned toward me and cooed sweetly. I could no longer contain my passion. I flung myself with all the strength in my feathers after the dazzling dove. To no avail—to my despair, the beauty soon vanished from my sight. Instantly, darkness fell around me. I couldn't see a thing. When the veil of darkness fell, I saw the fires of hell all around me. I found myself visiting Lucifer himself. I wandered forward. A moment later, I heard terrible screams. It was the devils who were scourging and roasting the harbor courtesans. Taking advantage of the proximity of the sinners' not-so-ugly bodies, they spared no small pleasures. How I envied them. I was ready to sell my soul to Lucifer himself just to be able to get even close to the harlot at that moment! I screamed in helplessness and despair...
Thomas Bress gazed longingly out the window of the Vienna Academy of Foreign Trade. He couldn't concentrate on his lecture at all. He was staring at two children who had almost fallen under an oncoming carriage.
"Mr. Bress!" the professor's voice snapped him out of his reverie. "Do you agree with the—I admit—rather bold—thesis I've just put forward?
What on earth can I say? This wasn't Bress's first such blunder. The student feared this time he'd overstepped his limits. The professor glared at him as if he were about to pounce on the young man and strangle him himself.
"So, Mr. Bress, what do you think of my statement?"
Suddenly, Thomas heard a soft whisper: "Tell him that it would be more in line with France's economic policy." Without a moment's hesitation, he repeated the sentence to the professor. The professor, stunned, stared at the student. Finally, he stammered,
"What was there to think about for so long?"
Bress turned with a grateful look toward the noble savior who had thrown him a lifeline at the last minute.
After the lecture, in the courtyard of the Academy of Commerce, Thomas Bress approached the student who had rescued him from trouble today.
"I'd like to thank you very much. If it weren't for you, I'd probably have to apply for admission to a new university right now.
" "I'm glad I could help. I've been observing you for a while now. You give the impression of someone who's had some serious worries for a long time. By the way, maybe we should call each other by their first names. I don't know about you, but I feel terribly unnatural talking to my peers this way." The young man extended his right hand.
"But of course, this formal language often irritates me too. My name is Thomas Bress.
" "Nice to meet you, Martin Freud... Yes, Sigmund Freud is my father," he added, seeing Thomas's wide eyes. "Getting back to your behavior." Is everything alright with you, Thomas?
Although Martin Freud didn't follow in the footsteps of his father, a neurologist and psychiatrist well-known throughout Vienna, his gaze could still pierce a person.
"Well, to tell you the truth, not entirely. I've been having a few problems lately... But it's very personal, I wouldn't want to tell you about it. Please don't ask me. I'm afraid if you did, I wouldn't be able to resist you.
" "Fine. Perhaps, to get to know each other better, you'd like to come over for dinner tomorrow. Mom promised there'd be rindfleisch—exquisitely prepared beef. And I can vouch for it; our cook knows how to cook like no one else!
" "Sure." Thomas Bress felt a bit embarrassed by the unusual openness of the student he'd just met.
"Then come to my place tomorrow afternoon. Anyway, I live at Berggasse 19. Almost opposite the Academy, a two-minute walk from here."
Thomas didn't seem to notice the mischievous glint in Martin's eye.
My father's pleas didn't change my mind. I couldn't let Achilles continue to mock the Trojans with impunity. I knew how much I was risking. However, even if I died, Ilion would remember me as a hero. I wanted to help Paris, for whom fate had been so cruel. He had a right to Helen; the divine Aphrodite herself had promised him her hand.
I stepped outside the walls of Troy. The gleam of Achilles' armor immediately blinded me. Who was I up against? He was more of a god than a man. The enraged hero lunged at me. I dodged the spear's blade and fled. As we circled the walls of Ilion three times, the cries of the Trojans constantly echoed, encouraging me. I decided it was high time to surrender to my destiny. I stood, looking directly into the hero's eyes. I tried not to let my immense fear show.
"Achilles, dear man to the gods," he spoke resolutely. "Let us promise each other, as befits honorable men, that whoever dies in this duel will not allow the body to be desecrated. We will return the body to its family, allowing no one to disturb the ceremonial burial."
But Achilles was too blinded by anger:
"You have a desire for an alliance, honorable Hector. No such arrangement with me. I am thirsty for revenge! As far as I'm concerned, you can wander the shores of the Styx forever, begging Charon for passage without payment." No way, though you are a brave man and a heroic warrior, the Elysian Fields are not for you. Paris desecrated the house of Menelaus, kidnapping the wonderful Helen, and you stand in defense of this wickedness. Your soul will be condemned to eternal wandering.
At the last moment, I shielded myself against a blow from the divine Achilles. I barely defended myself from the powerful blows. I decided to attack. With all my might, I threw my spear straight at the hero's chest. However, he managed to shield himself. Now only my sword remained. However, I didn't have long to fend off the attacks. Soon, with a powerful blow, Achilles struck me in the neck.
I saw Thanatos. He was saying something to me, but I heard nothing. Pain permeated my entire body. I wondered if I would ever be granted a carefree life in the lands of Elysium...
The doorbell rang in the house on Berggasse Street. Mrs. Freud went to answer the door. She saw a young man before her, quite handsome, by the way.
"Good morning, my honor, Thomas Bress," he greeted, gently kissing her hand.
"Nice to meet you. My name is Marta Freud. As you've probably guessed, I'm Martin's mother."
I'm glad you've decided to grace us with your presence at today's meal. The maid should be serving dinner soon. Is something wrong?" she asked, as the new student looked quite worried.
"No, no, nothing." Thomas's face flushed. He wasn't at all pleased that his discomfort had been noticed. "Forgive me, I didn't sleep much tonight. I've been studying a lot lately at the Academy.
" "I understand perfectly. Please don't worry. And what are you studying?"
Thomas didn't know what was happening to him. "What the hell am I studying? I don't remember! What happened? I have a black hole in my head!" Fortunately, Martin, who had just burst into the vestibule, saved him.
"Hello, Thomas. It's good that you're here. Come to my room for a moment! I'm writing an essay on the history of France for Professor Bergstern and I've come across a certain inconsistency. Perhaps you can help me.
" "Forgive me," Thomas managed to stammer out to Mrs. Freud. He was grateful that, thanks to Martin, he had managed to escape this very embarrassing situation.
Marta Freud smiled indulgently.
Soon, Sigmund Freud returned home after a difficult day. Thomas was extremely excited to meet the famous doctor. Sigmund turned out to be quite tall and exceptionally elegant. His well-groomed, long-grown, splendid beard attracted particular attention. Undoubtedly, Sigmund Freud's cigar was one of his attributes. "A psychiatrist without a cigar is like a tree without leaves," he would jokingly remark to the doctor.
Thomas was delighted with dinner. First, a wonderful mushroom soup, then a delicious Rindfleisch. Martin was not lying when he mentioned the culinary talents in the Freud household. After dinner, Sigmund Freud himself invited his guest for a short stroll in the nearby park. He wanted to have a private conversation with him. Although a little uneasy about the reasons for this proposal, Thomas eagerly accepted. After all, it was quite an honor to walk with one of Vienna's most eminent physicians.
For over fifteen minutes, they discussed truly insignificant matters. Freud clearly wanted to find out who he was really dealing with. Under the guise of being interested in the life of a modern student, Sigismund examined Martin carefully. At one point, the neurologist slowed his pace and asked, lowering his voice,
"I noticed a certain phenomenon during dinner. Why are you so terrified of my wife?
" "I... No, not at all. Your wife seems like an extremely nice person and...
" "Please don't take me for an idiot. I've been practicing psychiatry for a long time. I can recognize fear in a person.
" "But, I... Well, maybe a little, but I didn't mean to, and all..."
"For God's sake, calm down! I'm far from suspecting you of any affectations! However, I see you're afraid of Marta. And, forgive me—it's an occupational disease; I want to understand the source of this state of affairs.
" "I understand, but there's no need. What you're saying now is nothing more than malicious insinuations. It never even occurred to me to be afraid of your wife.
" "Mr. Thomas, please don't be so stubborn, or the rooster will crow three more times." The young man felt the psychiatrist's gaze piercing through him. He felt as if Sigmund Freud, looking deeply into his eyes, was thoroughly probing every part of his mind at that moment. "I've already asked you not to make a fool of me. However, since you're not willing to talk, I have no right to force you. Although I would ask you to think it over thoroughly, perhaps it's worth talking to me about this? I sense something is bothering you. Since you've decided to share this with me, I invite you for coffee tomorrow evening. Goodbye!"
Thomas Bress said goodbye to the doctor and headed home. He still had to prepare for tomorrow's classes at the Academy. He was deeply impressed by Sigmund Freud's observations. Where had this man managed to glean so much information? He hadn't said a word to him!
I was distraught. I looked imploringly at the fat man standing before me. His clothes were all torn, and it was obvious he hadn't washed in quite a while.
"Come here, man, I see you live in poverty. I have forty ducats. They're yours if you just give me a vial of poison. But it has to work quickly; I'm tired of life; I want to find peace in death as soon as possible.
" "I have such a poison. But here, in Mantua, I'm risking my life by selling it to you.
" "Think about it—you're already at the very bottom of misery and decline. Let's face it, are you risking so much again? Do you think your life is worth so much? Take my money, try to change something." Maybe you can...
"Fine, I'll sell you that damned vial. Dissolve the powder in any liquid."
A moment later, I was walking down a steep staircase. It was dark—only the faint flame of the candle I held provided light. Maybe that was for the best... I was afraid of what I was about to see.
When I finally reached the bottom, I saw her. She lay dead, and beside her, the cursed traitor Paris stood weeping. I felt rage seize me. I grabbed my sword and, blinded by anger, threw myself at the peephole. Before he could even scream, he fell to the ground, mortally wounded. I approached the body of my beloved. I put my ear to her heart, but there were no signs of life. My poor Julia... I pulled a vial from my pocket. The apothecary had said to dilute it in water, but I decided to simply swallow the entire contents. I lay down beside my love and reached for the poison. Now nothing mattered to me; I had found solace. I walked down a black tunnel, at the end of which the abyss awaited me...
When the doorbell rang as the sun set, Sigmund Freud smiled to himself. Could it be that our student desired a consultation after all? When he opened the door, he was met with no particular surprise. Indeed, standing before him was none other than Thomas Bress.
"Good morning. You know, I've been thinking for a long time about what you told me yesterday. And I've come to the conclusion that we should talk."
"That's excellent. I sincerely congratulate you on your first good decision. And, I suspect, not your last. Come to my office."
The men entered a dimly lit room with drawn blinds. A candle burned on a beautiful mahogany desk and a stack of papers lay. It was obvious at first glance that the place possessed its own special atmosphere.
"Please make yourself at home," said Sigmund Freud, indicating to his patient a couch against the wall. He himself sat down in an armchair so that the student couldn't see him.
As he sat down on the couch, a strange feeling came over Thomas. He became calm, instantly becoming an oasis of peace. Although he had assumed, going into the meeting, that he wouldn't be particularly effusive and would try to keep his mouth shut, he now felt tempted to tell the good-natured gentleman sitting behind him everything. Sigmund Freud didn't even have to say a word; the student began the conversation.
"You were right about that wife. Indeed, I'm terrified of her. When she looks at me, I feel a tremendous fear. I'm then like a hare being watched by a licking wolf. But I, unlike that hare, have nowhere to run, and my behavior is completely irrational. When your wife speaks to me, I stop understanding human speech. I can't even answer the simplest question, even my name.
" "Mhm," Freud muttered, writing in his journal, "the id is strongly active in the patient, and at times the superego is unable to curb the unconscious's impulses. Applying the method of de-reaction (?)."
"I can't concentrate during lectures at the Academy of Commerce. My thoughts keep drifting off, I can't concentrate. I constantly feel like something bad is happening to me. Actually, everything around me is a testament to it. Several people have already asked if I'm okay.
" "I understand. What's next?" the psychiatrist asked, underlining the word "id" with a thick line.
"Yes, actually, there's another disturbing thing...
" "Namely...
" "Dreams. I often have strange dreams. I don't remember them and I can't describe them in detail, but I also feel a great fear of them. I'm afraid to go to sleep, I'm afraid every night. All I know is that the theme of death very often appears in my dreams.
" "I understand. That's very interesting. Any other topics?
" "No, probably not...
" "Please concentrate.
" "There's also the theme of love very often. Sometimes it's erotic fantasies, other times it's some unhappy story of unrequited love. But I can't remember any more, for heaven's sake! I'd love to, but I can't tell you more."
"Method of treatment: free association method. Frequent dreams. It is necessary to know the patient's id. Hypnosis is essential," Freud noted eagerly.
"We must finish for today. The family will be home soon, and I would like us to be alone during the examination. The presence of someone could depress you, even completely unconsciously," the doctor smiled mischievously. "I invite you tomorrow at the same time; I think I won't have any major problems curing you. But let's not think too far into the future. I wish you a peaceful night; I don't think you'll dream of anything more terrifying than sheep jumping over a fence."
The next day, as Thomas Bress lay down on the couch, Sigmund Freud moved closer to the patient. He removed a rather large watch from around his neck, hanging on a gold chain.
"Please look at the watch face. And nothing else." I beg you to concentrate your entire mind on the dial. This watch is now to become your entire world. For the next hour, nothing exists but the two hands and the twelve numbers. Nothing more!
Then the doctor began to rock the watch quite gently. Apparently, Tomasz Bress was very susceptible to hypnosis. Less than a minute later, he began nodding his head parallel to the moving dial. His vision became unfocused and stopped blinking.
"Please lie comfortably on the couch," the student obediently followed the doctor's instructions. "Now, tell me what you see before your eyes. Perhaps images from your childhood?"
"Yes, I can't see clearly, but there's a horse in front of me. And now another one approaches, someone sitting on it. Wait, that's me. And my father is sitting on that first horse… I'm starting to remember. It was when I was fourteen. My father wanted to teach me how to ride, and we went to the forest outside of town. I remember being very emotional about it; it was an incredible feeling. A galloping horse, the wind whistling in my ears, high speed. We rode for quite a while, getting a dozen or so kilometers out of town. At one point, the weather started to look like it was going to change. Before we knew it, a storm was brewing. We immediately decided to head back, and then it happened… When we returned the horses, we saw four wolves. They were hungry and immediately rushed towards us. The frightened horses started to run away. My father was an experienced rider and soon mastered the galloping animal. But the horse carried me away. I must have fallen during the ride, because three hours later, my father found me on a nearby road. I was bruised and lost my memory. At first, I didn't even know who the man leaning over me was. I gradually remembered some things. But I still have gaps in my memory to this day. Of course, I function normally, but I don't remember certain things that happened to me as a child.
"What happened to her?" Sigmund Freud's voice was so decisive, as if he already knew the answer to the question.
"What was she like? I don't remember anything...
" "Do you remember! Focus!
" "I can't. I don't know what's going on.
" "What happened to her? What did she look like? Why did you love her?
" "I remember..." She had beautiful, long, black hair. Delicate facial features, a wonderful laugh. I fell in love with her from the first moment. Every time I saw her, I couldn't utter a word. It didn't bother her at all; she liked me very much. But only liked me; it was unrequited love. I suffered terribly because of it. She was so beautiful! She often wore this red dress with ruffles. I also remember that she had tiny, delicate, yet beautiful breasts. She treated me like a friend. But that wasn't enough for me. I wanted more. Unfortunately, it never happened. Then she left, and I never heard from her again.
"What was her name?
" "Martha." After that adventure, I never fell in love with any girl again. She was the most wonderful creature to walk this earth.
"Hmm, that explained the aversion to my wife. Now everything is clear. This unfortunate young man is subconsciously afraid of all Marthas," Freud thought, but he remained silent. He believed that a patient shouldn't be interrupted in his confessions. During examinations, he had a habit of limiting himself to grunting, perhaps offering timid encouragement along the lines of "what next?"
"It may sound pathetic, but she was my greatest muse. I lived for her. I promised myself that when I grew up, I would do anything to find her. I was ready to search the entire globe, even on foot. I couldn't concentrate on anything; all my thoughts revolved around her. Marty. Oh my God!"
Freud decided the moment had come. He clapped his hands, and Tomasz Bress immediately stopped talking. He blinked, his gaze dull.
"Is it all over? I just fell asleep...
" "The catharsis method is foolproof. You won't be tormented by dream visions anymore. By recounting your experiences, you freed yourself from your unconscious. Using hypnosis, your superego released the memories into your ego zone, and you were finally able to express everything.
" "Unfortunately, I don't understand a word you're saying." However, since you claim that everything will be alright now, I am inexpressibly grateful.
"For that, I'm willing to stake my life on the fact that you're free. Would you mind if I smoked? That's my weakness; I can't live without a cigar. Please stay a little longer. I'd like to exchange a few words with you, this time in a completely unprofessional way. You have an extremely interesting personality."
Sigmund Freud and Thomas Bress chatted for a long time. As the student at the Vienna Academy of Foreign Trade returned home, there were few people left on the streets. Suddenly, he noticed a woman passing by. She was very pretty. His heart skipped a beat...
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