Chat

I sat and stared at the computer screen. I don't know what I was looking for there. Happiness, after all, wasn't going to be found there anyway. So far, the computer had gotten angry with me and, instead of a blue desktop background, it showed me a screensaver aquarium. And now, colorful fish were swimming in front of me against a backdrop of corals. I didn't touch the mouse, just let them swim. Apparently, an aquarium is relaxing, but since I don't own one, what harm can I do to see what technology has to offer? After all, this symbol of modernity cost me so much money that it can also be used for relaxation.

I liked the aquarium, so I made myself a cup of coffee and returned to the monitor. Unfortunately, as I sat down, I moved the mouse, and a nondescript desktop took the place of the fish. What a shame.

The computer had taken pride of place in my apartment two days ago. It had been delivered and assembled. Additional equipment was installed, and then I was left alone with it. And my skills at operating this contraption were far from expert. I don't know why I bought it. Unless he replaced my boyfriend, who moved out a week ago, with a new love. Apparently, it was the love of his life. Ha ha ha! He was good at saying it. He repeated it exceptionally often, as he met the love of his life several times a year. Apparently, he enjoyed the gypsy lifestyle and the frequent moves it entailed. He had perfected it. He didn't leave a single missing sock behind. He disappeared as if he'd never been. And he never came back. Which had its advantages, because there's probably nothing uglier than returning after you'd already accepted your loss.

He moved out suddenly and without warning, and I hadn't even had time to feel hurt. The shock hadn't worn off yet. Strangely, I didn't even hold a grudge against him. It was just the emptiness in the house that was unnerving. The silence was depressing, and neither loud music nor the television filled it. I liked talking to someone, but I couldn't handle the TV. Talking to a dead box... No, I hadn't chased it like that yet!

So I had to fill this void and occupy my time after work. It was too early for blind dates and a crush on my ex. The shock lingered, and I had no desire for company whatsoever. I liked licking my wounds alone. So I decided buying a computer was the best option. I'd been thinking about it for a long time anyway. I'd occupy my mind with learning how to use it, fill my time, and stay in touch with the world. Nothing but advantages. Welcome to the 21st century. The global village!

So I stared unenthusiastically at the blue desktop, unsure what to do next. None of the icons tempted me to click on them. Not even games; I'd never been a fan of computer games anyway. DVDs and other movie players didn't entice me either. I was distracted and didn't feel like watching movies.

I took a sip of coffee and glanced at my phone, wondering if I should leave the computer alone and call someone. But I scolded myself. No! I'm not calling anyone! Because everyone will be feeling sorry for me again, how miserable I am now that my lord and master is gone. And of course, everyone suddenly remembers some lonely, handsome guy they'd gladly set me up with. After all, the best cure for unrequited love is new love.

So the phone was out of the question.

I could read a book, but after a few pages, I had to start over because I'd lose track.

So I went back to square one: the computer. But I still wanted to talk to someone. I have friends who say the only way to talk is through chat. Maybe I'd try it too. After all, no one would know it was me. They can't see me, they can't hear me. Better than a helpline.

So I hovered over the browser and clicked. A moment later, the portal page appeared, and I didn't hesitate, and clicked chat.

It took a long time to load, which annoyed me, but I got it. I chose the room with the most people, "Dating," entered my nickname, and became a "Superstar." My nickname was accepted, and a conversation log appeared before me.

For a long time, I didn't join the conversation, just following it. New people came and went. The turnover was rapid, and I couldn't quite keep up. The nicknames people adopted were making me laugh out loud. "Napalona laska" (Horny chick) appeared, followed immediately by "Młody ogier" (Young Stallion) and Matyj@s (Hungry Bitch). After a few such nicknames, mine proved to be very polite and humble. Already familiar with the topic, I decided to say hello.

"Hello everyone!" I sent it, and saw my greeting among the others.

"Nice to meet a Star!" he replied, "SuperRman."

"Are you really such a Star?" "Kicccia" joined the conversation.

"I don't know, I probably am," I replied.

- The ones with the best nicknames later turn out to be crap! - "18cmrozkoszy" gave her opinion.

- Why do you think so? - I was surprised.

- I have experience in this field! - "18cm..." admitted proudly.

- Aha! I can already see your experience. You're a high school virgin with thick glasses! - "PolskiMacho" treated "18cm..." quite rudely.

- Yeah... like everyone here! All erotomaniac storytellers! - "Lisssssica" already had a formed opinion about men.

- And what experience do you have that makes you say that? - I couldn't resist asking.

- Talk to them a little longer and you'll see for yourself! They're all scumbags! - "Lisssssica" wrote

. - Maybe even scumbags,But feminists like you have no business here! - "Piękny Im Młody" clearly didn't like women who had their own opinions.

"Leave her alone! She's probably some dyke! Change rooms to Les!" "Mr. Wanted Lady," he said to Vixen rather harshly

. "You're right, or maybe some fat woman with glasses, pimples, and hairy legs that no one wants is taking it out on her!" "A sharp_male!!!" sided with the men. I felt sorry for Vixen, they'd

gotten on her bad side. "Don't worry, guys always act like this, it's a childhood thing, like pulling braids." I tried to comfort her, but I guess it was unnecessary.

"I like teasing them like that; it's easy to meet an interesting guy. She doesn't engage in silly small talk, and someone like me wouldn't even want to look at them." Vixen seemed to enjoy stirring up controversy in the chat.

I was enjoying this conversation. People who don't know each other were having a virtual argument. Funny. For a moment, I watched the conversation again. They were mostly about sex. It was rare for another thread to appear. The nicknames also had sexual overtones.

I took a sip of coffee and didn't consider the topic any further because my Private Message popped up. I was happy, I don't know why. Something new. I decided to accept the guest. Especially since "Little Lion" sounded so nice. I clicked, and a new window appeared.

The Lion was already waiting.

"Hi!" he wrote

. "Hi, where are you from?" I replied.

"From Częstochowa, and you?

" "Too, but cool!" I rejoiced.

"And how old are you? I'm 31.

" "And I'm 29, my ex was the same age as you," I added.

"Did you break up?" he asked.

"As if, not actually, as if, we did."

"I'm sorry, I also did something nasty to someone recently, I think I'll regret it for the rest of my life."

The conversation captivated us, and I didn't return to the chat. My guest turned out to be nice. And we shed tears together. He blamed his stupidity, and I blamed my Artur. Sorry, not mine anymore.

"You know what, I'm so sorry! But I have to work a little. Do you have GG? I'll try to get ahold of you somehow." "Little Lion seems to like me.

" "I have GG," I replied, because he probably meant chatting with people.

"Will you give me your number?" he asked.

I thought about it. I think I will, and I only have a few people registered there anyway. There will be one more. Maybe I'll have someone to talk to along the way. Although I didn't believe he'd ever contact me again. Why bother? Finally, he cleared his conscience, and I poured out my frustrations. We were both looking for someone who would listen. It worked. Why deepen such a relationship?

I entered my number and sent it.

"I'll find you!" came the reply.

"Are you promising or are you threatening me?" I joked.

"I promise! I don't know when I'll find the time, but I always keep my promises!"

I smiled to myself.

- Yeah... - I wrote. - You all keep your promises. - I sent it.

"I see your ex has gotten under your skin! You'll see me again in the virtual world. Bye... bye!

" "Bye," I replied and hung up. I'd had enough conversations for the first time. I didn't return to the chat, and I'd been talking to the Lion Cub for over an hour. My coffee glass was empty. It was almost 10 p.m., and I had to get up at six. Time for bed.

Almost a week had passed since that conversation. I'd had a rough time at work and hadn't even had time to set up my computer. The flu had put some of the employees to bed, and the rest, who hadn't been hit by the epidemic yet, were working double shifts. So I'd come home hungry, terribly tired, and without the energy to even think. I'd collapse into bed and fall asleep immediately. I'd almost forgotten about the Lion Cub's existence. I'd once sworn to myself that I'd never take a relationship I'd formed via computer seriously. I don't even know this little Lion Cub's name, and he doesn't know anything about me either. It's actually ridiculous. We're from the same town, we know our ages, we've cried our hearts out. And yet, on the other side, there might be someone I know. It's a strange feeling, because I could work with them, or see them every day on the bus, at work, or they could be regulars at the bookstore where I work.

For the first time in a long time, I fell asleep in a good mood. Finally, tomorrow is my Saturday off!

I woke up and did something I never imagined myself doing. As soon as I opened my eyes, I ran to turn on my computer. Coffee seemed essential, and I quickly found a cup of hot coffee with milk, the first sips of which warmed my still-sleepy body.

I sat down at the computer, sipping this most wonderful drink under the sun, and connected to the internet. Before I even had time to touch the mouse, an envelope appeared on my GG bar, along with the words "Stranger Sending Message." I almost choked on my coffee from the shock!

I clicked on it, and a yellow-orange window opened with a few messages.

"Do you still remember me? It's me, Little Lion Cub. I promised I'd get in touch, but where have you been? I look for you every day, and you're still unavailable, just like a princess locked in a tall tower."

I looked at it and didn't know whether to laugh or... I don't know. Curiosity got the better of me. Little Lion Cub was available, and without thinking, I started the conversation. I sat down in the armchair and placed the keyboard on my lap.

"Knock, knock, can I?" I wrote and sent it.

"Of course! It's nice to finally see you! Where have you been?" I received in response.

"Work, work, work..." I replied.

"My poor Little One! But at least you have today off, and I'm still at work."

The conversation took us almost all of noon. It was a good thing he couldn't see me, because no normal guy would want to talk to me. I sat in front of the computer, naked, with remnants of yesterday's makeup and hair... it's best not to mention the hair. We continued using our pseudonyms. Somehow, names didn't seem necessary to us. He was the Lion Cub, and I was the Star. It was enough. The important thing was that someone was waiting for me. Even if only virtually. I'd forgotten how wonderful that feeling was.

Sunday passed with me feeling better, the Lion Cub had worked a miracle. A few words exchanged with him had done the trick. Two virtual dates. Ridiculous.

We didn't know each other, and I finally decided to do something about myself. I woke up one morning and immediately looked in the mirror. I didn't like what I saw. Since Artur left, I'd stopped taking care of myself; I had no one to care for. And I lacked the motivation and drive to care for myself.

In the mirror, I saw my own face, aged a dozen years. The exhaustion at work had taken its toll, but I didn't realize that a lack of care, interest, and closeness could have such a negative impact on my appearance. I hadn't planned to meet my Lion Cub today, so I decided to dedicate the day to myself. Maybe my Lion Cub would take care of my body and soul. Who knows?

I turned off my phone. I'm not there for anyone; this is just my day. And the bathroom is to become my kingdom.

I filled the bathtub with water infused with rose oil and immersed myself neck-deep in the fragrant foam. I basked in the aromatic lather until the water cooled. Then it was time for hair and body treatments. After rubbing conditioner into my hair and wrapping my head in a towel, I turned to my body. My leg hair removal was a breeze. Thank God I'd bought wax strips a while ago, and the entire package lay unused. It was a decidedly masochistic pleasure, but unfortunately... necessary. But a massage with a firming balm and moisturizing cream had a soothing effect after the pain of hair removal. Oh well, women's stupidity knows no bounds when it comes to an interesting man.

I wondered how I could possibly know he was interesting, since I knew nothing about him. Oh well, maybe providence watches over the crazy, so this time I wouldn't be unlucky.

Beautiful, fragrant, and feeling reassured, I turned on my computer this evening. After all, after such a day, I deserved a little intellectual pleasure. I decided to watch a movie, let it be ambitious and spiritual. I put on "Hidden Desires," I don't know why, but that movie always relaxed me. Before I put on the DVD, however, I decided to check my email. No sooner had I connected than a yellow envelope flashed on my email bar: "Lwiatko sends a message." I hadn't been this happy in a long time. I opened my GG, and the message was from last night. "Sleep sweetly, little one, I wish you only pleasant dreams and wake up with a smile on your face. And even though we don't know each other, I'm sending you a kiss, too bad it's only a virtual one."

I read it and smiled to myself. Wow! I don't remember anyone saying goodnight to me like that. I sat there and, with a blissful smile, read those words again. Beautiful. It's just a shame you don't meet men like that every day.

But I couldn't resist replying. There was no point in saying goodnight, but for good morning, why not...

"Good morning, I hope your week starts with only good things, and thank you for the sweet dreams, I could get used to such a goodnight. A thousand kisses for good morning!" I sent. And hung up.

It's hard not to admit that I went to bed in a great mood. I just couldn't fall asleep. I tried to imagine a guy who could write such words.

My days began to flow differently now. Work combined with the excitement of a new, intriguing acquaintance. As soon as I woke up in the morning, I almost fumbled with my computer, and I wasn't disappointed. There was always some interesting message waiting for me there. The lion cub was reliable. Until one day. For three days, he showed no sign of life. I felt sad. I didn't realize my well-being was so dependent on him.

Finally, I sent the message. "I thought our friendship would last a little longer, too bad. I'm sorry, but it's tough. Maybe we'll meet again sometime, somewhere..."

I hadn't even had time to turn off GG when I received an immediate reply

: "Wow! I wasn't at work, and now I'm having some problems, I don't have the freedom to talk freely! Don't disappear anywhere, and not some sometime. Right here and now! You know I like you and I don't want to lose touch with you." "

I thought I was bored with you already," I replied .

"How could you be bored with me when we don't even know each other!"

"Oh my! I was so sorry...

" "I'm so sorry, Star, I won't do it again.

" "You know what?

" "What?

" "You speak in lines you can only imagine, the kind you read in books and hear in movies. You don't meet guys like you every day! Who are you?"

"The most normal guy in the world. Nothing interesting. If you ever meet me, you'll be disappointed.

" "Impossible.

" "Why?

" "Because I really don't know anything about you, and you write things I would have written myself. You finish what I start, and vice versa. You're just a figment of my imagination. You don't exist! You don't exist! It's impossible for someone like you to exist, someone you've always carried in your head and heart!

" "You know what, I have a proposition! We live in the same city. Maybe we could meet."

I admit, I got chills. I didn't know if I wanted to meet him!

I only knew he had a beautiful soul, but what did he look like, who was he? He could be very ugly, a pervert, or a psychopath. My intuition, however, told me to take the risk.

"And if you decide to do it, are you afraid?" The little lion read my fears correctly.

"How do you know what I'm thinking?" I asked.

"Because you didn't say anything for a while; it's not hard to guess what you're thinking."

"Okay, I'm a gambler! We'll meet!" I replied.

"I like that! A man's decision! When and where?

" "Sure, you have to be a man! Hee hee! What time do you finish work tomorrow?

" "I'd rather start, at noon, and I'll be in the bathroom until evening!

" "Great! Me too!" I said happily.

"Maybe we'll meet in the morning, we'll get this over with! We'll save ourselves some stress!

" "You're right! We'd have a tough day, but we'll just kick it off and it'll be over. 9:30 at McDonald's, is that okay?" I suggested.

"Why not! What if I get to know you? Or if you don't get to know me, if you don't like me, you just won't approach me. I'll have a white rose on the table. So what? Maybe?

" "Sure! This is the first time I've seen a man let a woman judge him; men usually want to judge women. You seem like a gentleman. Where have you been?" I was surprised, but couldn't hide my joy.

"In Częstochowa, Little One! So how will you be?

" "I will!

" "Well, warm kisses and Papapapa!" The Lion Cub said goodbye

. "Papapapapa!" I texted and hung up. My heart was beating like crazy. I'll meet him!

I spent most of the night sleepless. I tossed and turned, and my head grew to a monstrous size from thinking and wondering, figuratively speaking, of course. I didn't know how to dress, how to do my hair, how to behave! I couldn't make a fool of myself; after all, I had to go to work.

My imagination suggested all sorts of scenarios. He could be my Prince Charming, or he could stalk me and murder me in some dark alley. Or he's married and picking up girls online. After a few weeks, when he gets bored with one, he disappears and looks for another. And he knows how to wrap a woman around his finger; he's a master at it! Those tender greetings and goodnight wishes. That care and understanding. Comforting her when she's feeling down. There has to be a catch somewhere. But caution is essential in situations like this.

I don't know what time I fell asleep, but it must have been well after midnight. Because I woke up... at a quarter to nine in the morning. I only had forty-five minutes! Three-quarters of an hour to make myself look gorgeous! Disaster! The guy will scare me, not fall head over heels in love. Oh well, I made an appointment, so I have to go.

Instead of wearing proper attire, I slipped into jeans and a sweater. I could only dream of putting on makeup, so I didn't expect anything exciting from this acquaintance. After one meeting, the guy would scare me!

As if that weren't enough, it had been pouring rain since early morning, and my barely combed hair had turned into wet strings.

A picture of misery and despair, I walked through the door of McDonald's. Despite the early hour, almost every table was occupied. I felt foolish because I didn't know who I was looking for. But the worst thing that could have happened at that moment was the sight of a familiar face. Right in front of me, at the end of the room, were brown eyes I recognized immediately. His face, admittedly a bit slimmer, his dark hair a bit longer, and the same sweet lips. I was looking at Artur!

Until I met him, I hadn't realized how much I missed him. But now I knew nothing would come of meeting the mysterious Lion Cub. Sure, maybe the friendship would continue; he was probably a wonderful person, but I realized I wouldn't forget Artur anytime soon. And no amount of "wedges" would help. I loved that bastard! Despite everyone, the whole world, and even myself!

I'd almost forgotten I was supposed to find a man with a white rose. I reluctantly looked away from Arthur, who at that very moment bent down and picked something up from the floor. He placed a... white rose on the table. I couldn't believe my eyes! My mind went blank! It was impossible that I'd been talking to Arthur all this time, and not even knew it!

Surprise was joined by outrage. The bastard must have been having a great time at my expense! Tears welled up in my eyes and choked in my throat. Even after he left, I hadn't felt as humiliated as I did at that moment! To pour out my regrets, sorrows, innermost feelings, fears, and anxieties to someone who treated me like a nobody!

I approached the table where he was sitting.

"Hi! I see you're waiting for someone?" I said as I approached the table where he was sitting. Arthur looked a little flustered.

"Hi, I'm waiting... but that's not a crime, is it?" he replied with a question.

"No! No way! I'm just curious, if you knew, my dear Lion Cub, that you'd just lived to see your Christmas, would you still be here?" I couldn't resist giving him that bitter pill to swallow. He was

speechless; he just stared at me with his mouth open. I didn't wait for him to continue, I turned and walked towards the exit.

"Marta! Marta, wait!" Artur's voice reached me as I opened the door.

I stopped. He ran up to me and grabbed my hand.

"Don't leave yet, give me five minutes, please..." he said.

"Okay... but only five minutes," I sighed, unable to refuse him. We returned to the table.

"Speak!" I said, but I knew it wouldn't be a pleasant conversation.

"What can I say when we've only been able to talk as strangers? Marta, I know I've hurt you, but we're both here because we wanted to. I didn't know who I was talking to either. Please, give me a chance. I'm not saying we should live together, but let's try again, with dates, movies, walks... let's get to know each other again... please."

I listened and had to admit he was right, but I was afraid of being disappointed again. Artur, however, found an argument

. "Maybe it's fate, we've been given a second chance, we've met as strangers, and a kind of friendship has been born! Marta, let's not waste this, please!" He took my hand and placed it in his. I looked at his delicate, long fingers, looked into his large, slightly slanted brown eyes, and smiled. I hid from myself how much I longed to feel his full, pink lips kiss me.

I smiled, it was laughter through tears. Maybe I'm making a mistake again, but oh well. I couldn't say no to him. No one ever called me "Little One," not even Artur. That Artur, and this one—had he changed? Which one was the real one? The future would reveal it. But I wasn't ready for it. Too many emotions were swirling inside me.

I didn't want to make a decision now.

I left the restaurant in frustration. I wanted to scream, cry, stomp my feet! I didn't know where to go, because I had a while before work. So I went home and... turned on my computer. Tears welled up in my eyes, but I connected to the chat. I said goodbye to the Star and greeted "Devil...".

"Hi guys!" I sent a greeting to my favorite room.