The Diary of Zuzanna S.

March 1st.

Everyone has many memories. Some they want to remember and some they'd rather forget. I want to write in this diary my story, which has brought me much pain and even more happiness.

My name is Zuzanna S. And this is my story...

March 2nd

. "Oh no, he's done it again. I've had enough. Łukasz! Why are you eating my sandwiches again?" I shouted, now seriously angry.

"Oh, I thought they were mine," said Łukasz. Łukasz is my colleague from work. He's tall, brunette, very handsome. Those thin glasses on his shapely nose add a lot to his charm. He's very intelligent, but you have to be patient with him because he's an individualist and has a somewhat difficult personality. We've been friends for three years, but in situations like this, I'm really surprised...

"You never have your own," I said.

"That's not true. I do sometimes," he said casually, and unable to resist, he sank his teeth into the tasty sandwich.

"Łukasz, damn it! It's my sandwich!" "I'm sorry ," I said, and like a lioness protecting her cubs, I rushed to save my sandwich.

"Ms. Susanna," I heard a voice coming from the doorway, just as I reached out the window, holding Łukasz's glasses and vowing to throw them away if he didn't give me mine.

That voice belonged to my boss... Terrified, I looked at him and immediately hid Łukasz's glasses behind me. It didn't make sense anyway, but people do strange things in moments of fear.

"Come see me," the boss said firmly, and left.

Łukasz looked at me sympathetically, still holding my sandwich. I was terrified; his voice was firm and didn't bode well.

"He'll probably drag me through the mud now," I thought, "and then he'll tell me that such things can't happen in his company because only serious people work here." After a moment of silence, he'll say, "We have to say goodbye, Mrs. Susanna," and what will I do then?

When we entered the office, the boss motioned me to a chair and sat down opposite me. He looked at me for a moment, picked up a pen, tapped it on the desk, and looked at me again.

"Don't panic, stay calm...everything will be fine...Oh my God, why is he looking like that? I can already see the situation. I'll call my mom tonight and say, 'Mom, I just lost my job at that newspaper that everyone knows, that has a huge reputation, and that I've been trying to get for over a year,' and my mom will say, 'Child, what a shame, but honestly, I knew you'd figure something out. Why do you have to be so scatterbrained, why do you always...blah, blah, blah.'"

At that moment, the boss tapped his pen louder on the desk, straightened up, then placed his hands on the desk and began,

"Ms. Zuzanna, why did you want to throw your friend's glasses out the window?" he asked.

"Because he took my sandwiches," I replied seriously, and immediately realized how stupid I was.

"He took your sandwiches, I see," the boss's voice said, a hint of amusement. "Are you taking anything else?" he asked.

"No, just the sandwiches," I replied, and I felt myself getting very small. I'm not helping myself at all. Instead of talking seriously to the boss and salvaging my situation, I'm making a fool of myself. Hmm... and by the way, the boss has quite beautiful eyes. When I noticed this, I really started to get nervous.

"If it's just about the sandwiches, maybe you were too harsh on him, huh?" he smiled.

"He does it every day," I replied, looking at the floor.

"Ms. Zuzanna, in my company, such situations can't happen, we only have adults, responsible, and serious people working here..."

Oh, I forgot about "responsible," I thought, and then said aloud:

"That's why we have to say goodbye, Mrs. Zuzanna.

" "Excuse me?

" "You want to fire me, right?

" "No way!" I just wanted to make a deal with you: Mrs. Kasia would buy Mr. Łukasz sandwiches every morning, and you wouldn't take your colleague's glasses.

I looked at him, surprised, and with a little indignation, I noticed that my boss was sitting in his chair, in a "lounge" position—legs on legs, hands on the backrest. He was looking at me with those pretty eyes of his and smiling mockingly. He was mocking me; the whole situation probably seemed childish to him. I started stammering,

"I'm sure this whole situation is funny to you, but...

" "No, not at all, I'm taking this quite seriously."

And that smile again. God help me, how can I get out of this without losing face?"

"But Łukasz took my sandwiches every day, and it really irritated me. He took them even when I asked him not to." IDIOT, stop talking about sandwiches, now get out of this conversation, hmm... intelligent ending, but how..." "I'm so sorry, sir, it won't happen again. Please forgive me, but I can't afford to have my things taken from me, and that's why..." Speak intelligently, you fake woman. "I'm sorry again, that was the first and last time." Great, contrition, lowered gaze, you could yawn discreetly, making your eyes look tearful, but the boss might notice the yawn, so a sad look will suffice.

The boss was still sitting in his "cool" position with that smile of his, but now it wasn't a mocking smile, but a smile of genuine amusement.

- Okay, Mrs. Zuzanna - he said, changing the "cool guy" position into the "boss" position, i.e. legs evenly and hands on the desk - end of story, Mr. Łukasz will get sandwiches in the morning, and your sandwiches will be safe.

"Oh my God, I didn't lose my job," I thought with joy. "I'll call my mom today and say, 'Mom, I'm still working at that newspaper that everyone knows... blah, blah, blah,' and she'll reply, 'I always believed in you, daughter, but... blah, blah, blah.'"

"Ms. Zuzanna, I want you to take over the fashion section of our magazine.

" "Oh no! Not only am I still working at this company, but I'm also getting promoted, unbelievable," I thought, and then stammered loudly, "How so?...mm, I mean...mm, I was working...that's, I don't know if...oh my God...

" "Let me tell you the details.

" "Yes, please.

" "Ms. Agata is leaving us, do you know about it?

" "Yes, I know, it's a great loss.

" "Well, not as great as it might seem. I want you to take her place.

" "Me?" I couldn't believe it. I've been interested in fashion for a long time, and working in the fashion section is like a dream come true."

"Yes, ma'am. You're young, you have excellent taste, you dress well, you're lively, cheerful, and temperamental. That's exactly the kind of person we need for this position." The longer he spoke, the bigger the smile spread across my face. "What do you think?

" "Me? Hmm, yes, of course I do. There's no one else in this room except you and me, he he. I'm very pleased that you think so of me, and that you've considered me. Of course, I agree, and I'll do my best to make you happy with me." I must admit, my answer was good, quite efficient, and intelligent.

"I'm very happy. When can you start?

" "Even right away, but... if I can, tomorrow, because I need to familiarize myself with fashion and other things, you know." I stood up and smiled that seductive smile of mine, which clearly had an effect on my boss, because he shook my hand firmly and looked me in the eye for a long time.

I left my boss's office surprised, happy, pleasantly flattered by his praise, more confident, and with a promotion!

I ran to tell everyone about it; maybe I'd manage to snag at least one more sandwich of my own.

March 4th

. I walked home, tired after a long day at work. My sandwiches were safe now, because indeed, Mrs. Kasia, our secretary, had bought sandwiches for Łukasz yesterday and today. Tytus, my Great Dane, my roommate, greeted me at the door. I call him that because he takes up almost as much space in our house as I do.

I dumped the groceries on the kitchen table and poured a huge package of dog food into the dog's large bowl.

"That's for starters, I'll make you something special in a moment." The dog raised his head and looked at me with eyes full of love. "Tytus, do you know what happened to me?" – I said to him, the dog raised his head again, as if waiting for what I would tell him – the day before yesterday I got a promotion, and today I got a compliment from the boss – I said and stroked Tytus's nose – nice, huh?

I made myself a cup of coffee, put on my pink pig-head slippers, and stretched out on the couch.

I started thinking about work and the promotion. Until then, I hadn't really considered why my boss had chosen me, but I was incredibly flattered. This opened up a brighter future for me—a more interesting job, a higher salary, better clothes—hmm, this looks promising.

With a satisfied smile, I went to the bathroom to apply a clay mask. These masks are a really good thing; even if they don't help, it's still good to know that you're doing something to look good.

With the mask on, I entered the room and wanted to lie down on the couch, but it was already occupied, so I settled comfortably on the soft carpet in front of it. I often wonder if I'm making a mistake by giving in to Tytus. I used to, yes, push him off the bed when I wanted to lie down, but he didn't weigh 75 kilos back then. I stopped arguing with him long ago, because any kind of persuasion wouldn't work, and carrying the dog was out of the question. Fortunately, this was the only problem I had. Tytus is a very intelligent dog, kind, affectionate, and very attached to me. I got him four years ago from a cousin whose parents forbade him from having a dog in the house. I immediately fell in love with this awkward little guy and didn't even ask what breed he was. I only realized this when Tytus's head reached my hip, and I'm not a short person.

However, we lived very comfortably. I inherited a three-room apartment from my grandmother. I turned one room into my bedroom (I'd always dreamed of having my own bedroom). The other room had a sofa, a television, a huge bookcase, and a chest of drawers, and the smallest room was occupied by Tytus and my wardrobe. I have no complaints about lack of space; I live on the ground floor and have a small garden under the balcony, so it's no problem for Tytus to go outside whenever he wanted. I love this dog and wouldn't get rid of him for anything in the world; I'd sooner look for a bigger apartment. More than once, friends offered to take Tytus in because they had a house in the country, or something else. But they didn't consider that the bond between me and this enormous dog was so strong that wherever he went, he wouldn't be happy, he'd miss him terribly, and he'd probably die of grief. Not to mention myself, I'd shed a sea of ​​tears and fall into a depression. That's why I flatly refused and rejected all such offers.

I looked at the dog lying on the couch, and he lifted his enormous head as if to ask, "What's wrong?" I pressed my face tightly to his head and kissed him on the nose. Unfortunately, I forgot that I was wearing a clay mask, and now Tytus was wearing one too. I laughed and immediately went to the bathroom for a tissue to wipe his nose when the doorbell rang.

"Who's he carrying?" I asked myself, and looked in horror at the mirror. "Jesus, a mask!" and I didn't know what to do first.

"Zuza, it's me, Łukasz. You don't have to wash off what's on your face, I already saw it through the window," a voice said from behind the door.

Embarrassed, I opened the door. Łukasz came in and looked at my face with a smile.

"We didn't all pool our resources," he said, taking off his shoes, "to buy you blinds for your birthday so you wouldn't even use them."

I looked at the window, terrified. In fact, I'd had new blinds for a few months and hadn't yet gotten used to them. I ran to the window and immediately closed them all.

"You live on the ground floor, girl. When you walk down the street, you can see everything you have in the house," Łukasz said, sitting down in an armchair.

"Okay," I smiled. "They're already closed, I have to get used to them.

" "Zuza, what's that mask you're wearing?" he asked, looking strangely at Tytus.

"Cleansing, for blackheads and pimples. What?

" "Does Tytus also have problems with blackheads?" Łukasz asked seriously.

I'd forgotten I'd messed up Tytus!

"No," I replied, "Tytus doesn't have problems with blackheads, he's just keeping me company.

" "Oh...

" "Coffee?" I asked my friend, who had settled comfortably in an armchair.

"Yes, please.

" "White coffee with sugar?

" "Do you remember correctly.

" "Did something happen?" I asked, sitting down next to Łukasz.

"No, why are you asking?

" "Because you haven't visited me in a while.

" "Come on, nothing happened. Because I haven't visited you in a while, I decided to come.

" "Łukasz...

" "Really, why do you think I should come to you when I need something?

" "Łukasz, I know you...

" "You know what, you offended me." Łukasz took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes with his fingers.

"Łukasz...

" "What?

" "Tell me what's going on.

" "About Kaśka," he said, lowering his head.

"I knew it—I won't say I wasn't proud of myself. I've known this man for three years, and sometimes I feel like I know him better than he knows himself." I handed him the coffee and, with a look, encouraged him to tell me what was bothering him.

"She's cheating on me...

" "Oh my God," I threw myself on the couch.

"What?

" "Same again." I covered my eyes with my hand. I was tired of Łukasz's constant suspicions. He's a really nice guy, but terribly jealous and suspicious, and such behavior becomes very tiring in the long run.

"When I feel it," he said in a pathetic tone.

"Stop it! Because one day you'll go too far with these suspicions, and no one will believe you.

" "But Zuzia..."

"No buts. You keep saying the same thing, and I know, I'm sure, that she's not cheating on you...

" "But...

" "I'm saying okay?

" "Okay...

" "A relationship has to be based on trust. You've been together for a few months, and you still suspect her of cheating. Why can't you finally believe that you're a nice guy and that a woman who's with you doesn't need other men?"

"She goes out so often," Łukasz said sadly, taking a sip of his coffee.

"Because she has her own interests, her own things. She can't sit by your side all the time, petting your head, and telling you how much she adores you." I felt sorry for him, but at the same time, he was annoying me with his unfounded suspicions.

"Maybe you're right," Łukasz looked at me with a slight smile. "After all, I have my own things too, which I devote a lot of time to.

" "You see. You're tormenting yourself unnecessarily. Just be happy.

" "You know what?" I sometimes think about it, you always give such great advice, but I'm curious why you haven't found a man yet and aren't happy. You're not lacking anything, after all," Łukasz gave me a searching look.

"Thanks," I said, and somehow the urge to laugh, to give advice, or to talk about relationships and love in general vanished.

"What's the matter?" Łukasz looked me in the eye.

"Well, I still have time, I'm young, and besides, I'm fine the way I am," I always said when someone asked me why I was single. But the truth was, I didn't really believe it myself. Maybe I was single out of convenience, or maybe because I hadn't met a guy I wanted to be in a serious relationship with yet. Despite appearances, I thought about it often. I'm 27, I've lived alone for four years, and I go to all the parties alone. I sometimes meet guys, go on dates, but... it's not what I expect. I'd like to have someone I could tell over breakfast what I'm doing today, someone I could make dinner for, who wouldn't laugh at my pig-head slippers, who wouldn't grimace at the sight of me with a clay mask on. I'd like to finally fall in love...

- Zuzia!

- Yes?

- What are you thinking about?

- Just saying...

- Probably about some handsome man you have your eye on, huh?

- There isn't one - I wanted to burst into tears - I'm 27, and I don't even have a guy in mind - my despair was immense, and Łukasz noticed.

- Don't cry - he said. -

I'm not crying.

- But you'll be soon.

- How do you know?

- Because your chin is already trembling.

"Because I'm unhappy!" I screamed so loudly and so desperately that it even touched my dog. Tytus came out of the room, came over to me, and placed his big head on my lap, looking at me with those wise eyes of his. My heart sank even lower, and I hugged the dog tightly. I'm so bad that even the dog feels sorry for me.

Łukasz, seeing this situation, patted me on the shoulder and said,

"I see I have to act because things are bad for you. Do you have any plans for the evening?

" "No."

"It's Friday, and you don't have any plans for the evening? Things are really bad for you.

" "Łukasz, don't bring me down!

" "Oh, Jesus, it's good you have me," Łukasz said, clearly in a good mood. "Get dressed, we're going out.

" "Where?

" "To the party, I won't let you spend Friday night alone. Come on, come on, I'll give you 30 minutes.

" "Okay," I said. "Whatever, it's better than sitting at home with a bag of chips in front of the TV." I'm not kidding...this is how I spend my weekend evenings...scary, right?

We went to "our" club.

"Zuzka, nice to see you," Anka said, running up to me and kissing my cheek.

She was already quite tipsy. The oldest of our group, but probably the wildest. She was 31, still showing off her long, shapely legs in sexy miniskirts, alluring with a plunging neckline, but it was her long, auburn hair that caught the eye the most. At parties, she was the queen of the dance floor. She was also the person you could go to with any problem, and by turning everything into a joke, she lightened the mood and made you feel lighter.

"You look amazing," Anka said, looking at me intently.

I'm not sure I looked amazing, but it wasn't that bad...or so I thought. Brown trousers, a green blouse that exposed the shoulders, a deep neckline, gathered under the bust and falling slightly on the stomach, and lace around the neckline—my new purchase—was incredibly expensive, but I had to celebrate my promotion somehow.

"Thanks," I replied to Anka in response to her compliment.

"You just forgot something," Anka said.

"What?" I looked at myself in surprise.

"Breasts!!!" Anka exclaimed, laughing loudly.

"Oh yes, I decided to leave them at home today," I said with a smile. I'd gotten used to Anka's teasing about my small bust. She had nothing to be ashamed of. Anka's D cup was downright enormous compared to my paltry 75B. But oh well, not everyone is so generously endowed.

"Come join us," Jarek, Anka's husband, called out, waving at them.

There were already a lot of people sitting at the table. I enjoyed these gatherings. Everyone I work with was there. The fact that we were able to become friends made work a pleasure for us, because we all understood each other well and had a great affection for each other.

Łukasz sat next to his Kasia, hugged her, and must have whispered something lewd in her ear because she giggled and kissed him hungrily.

I looked at them with a smile. The fact that I had no one hurt me deeply, but I couldn't envy the happiness of my loved ones; I could rejoice for them. It was probably human instincts like these that kept me from going crazy.

"Hey Zuza," Jarek shouted, sitting down next to me, "I heard about your promotion.

" "The boss knew what he was doing; I'm the best," I said, lifting my head and smiling proudly.

"And very humble," Jarek added. We both laughed. "Oh, yes, speaking of our boss... look..." He nodded discreetly towards the table to the right.

"Oh Jesus," I whispered and laughed. "At the table Jarek indicated, the boss was sitting with a group of colleagues, probably quite tipsy, because he was talking and laughing so loudly." "Oh, come on, and I thought he'd grown into his suit," I said to Jarek.

The boss was wearing a white T-shirt and jeans. He looked incredibly sexy in that outfit. I watched him explain something to his colleagues and laugh. Oh my God, what was happening to me? I couldn't stop looking at the man.

"Oh no, my dear," I thought to myself, "that's your boss, you can't do that... hmm, but he has a nice smile, BOSS, remember!!!... he doesn't have his hair done, like he usually does at work, he's better off like that." Hello, Earth, this is your employer, you earn your bread there, hmm... quite a nice employer, but that's it... oh my, he looked at me, waved, hello, hello... I hope he didn't see me staring at him – I immediately looked away.

"He almost caught you," I heard Łukasz's voice next to me.

"What?" I asked, pretending I didn't know what he was talking about.

"Don't pretend, you were staring at him so hard I'd think you liked him." Łukasz was smiling a little mockingly. "

You're stupid," I said curtly.

"Maybe stupid, but not blind – maybe ask the boss to come over, huh?" "Łukasz, stop it, okay?" "Admit it." "To what? " "To what?" "Okay." "What,

okay?" "Well, if 'what, okay' is what you're telling me to admit,

so I'll admit it. " "You admit it?" "Yes! " "You like it. " "Okay." "Okay! " "Okay!" "Okay ." "Okay." "Okay." "Okay." "Okay. " "Okay." "Okay." "Okay. " "Okay. " "Okay." "Okay!" ... I'd have to be blind not to notice a guy like that, but he's my boss. End of story. - So what, your boss? - End of story.

Okay, if you want, but I still think...

" "How's Kasia?" I changed the subject.

"Great, everything's fine. I just need to try to change things up a bit and it'll be okay," Łukasz replied, quickly forgetting what we'd been talking about earlier.

"Well, I'm glad, I told you. You look good together," I said, looking at my beaming friend. "I'm going to get you a drink," I said.

"I'll buy you one, sit down," Łukasz offered.

"No thanks, I'd feel guilty for tearing you away from your beloved. Go to her." Łukasz had been standing in front of me the whole time. "Go ahead!

" "You're a sweetheart, you know?" he asked, wrapping his arms around me tightly.

"I know," I replied, and deftly extricated myself from his embrace.

After making my way through the dancing crowd, I stood in front of the bar. A man was talking to the bartender, and I eyed him appreciatively. A slim, shapely, and muscular figure, slightly disheveled hair, but the mess only added to the charm of this wonderful phenomenon.

"He probably has a wife, or at least a fiancée," I thought ruefully. "It's impossible for a guy like that to be alone. Hmm, maybe I'll go over and chat; what's the harm? I'm alone anyway, and if I'm shy about it, I'll be lonely for the rest of my life.

" "Oh! Good evening!" The sexy man turned around before I could approach him. I recognized him as my boss...

I was so surprised and simultaneously terrified by this sudden greeting that I let out a strange gasp, then covered my mouth with my hand, feeling strangely foolish.

"Nice to see you too," he said, a little surprised. "Well, that gasp was probably a response to my greeting, right?" He smiled.

"Yes, that gasp was a sign of joy. I was happy to see you," I replied with a smile.

"And how are the preparations for your new position going?" he asked.

"In progress," I replied with a smile. "Thank you again for..."

"Ms. Zuzanna, let's not talk about work on Friday evening, okay?"

"Okay, but you started this conversation, I was just trying to be nice," I replied, taking a long sip of my drink.

My boss looked at me, surprised, but also amused by my answer. I thought so, because he was smiling so nicely.

"Can I buy you a drink?" he asked.

"Thank you, I just bought one." His question made me nervous. Why? I don't know, I'm like that when I lose my confidence, when someone proves bolder than me, I start to get nervous and immediately have trouble putting together a coherent sentence.

"Can I buy you another one?

" "Hmm, I don't know.

" "Why?

" "Because I don't know if I'll feel like having another one."

"Mhm, I understand. If you feel like having another one, you'll tell me, okay?

" "Okay, but this might be a little weird." I felt the drink starting to warm me up. The conversation with the boss had made me drink faster than usual, I just prayed I wouldn't start talking nonsense, as I often do after drinking. "He has beautiful eyes," I thought, very beautiful... stop... boss, boss, boss!"

"Why strange?" he asked.

"I'm not going to run to you when I run out of drink.

" "But you won't have to call me," he said, leaning in so his face was a few centimeters from mine. "If you'll let me, I'd like to keep you company," he said, and with a mischievous smile, he watched as I sheepishly tried to fish an olive out of my martini.

Silence fell... If I agree to him accompany me, I'll get drunk and talk nonsense and won't be able to look him in the face later, and if I refuse... what if I refuse?" I'm going to regret this. I finally found a guy I like, someone who caught my eye, as Łukasz said, but there was another problem... this guy is my boss.

"What do you think?" My boss looked at me expectantly.

"I don't know," I replied.

"You don't want to?" Why did I get the feeling there was regret in his voice? Maybe I was just imagining it.

"No, it's not that I don't want to, it's just that this is a bit embarrassing for me," I finally blurted out. They say alcohol gives you courage. At that moment, I felt like I could tell him so much, too much.

"Why embarrassing?" He leaned against the bar, looking so alluring... oh God. "Why

, why? You're my boss.

" "You can forget about it for the weekend."

"It's not that easy."

"Don't you see me as a human being? I am one, after all."

"I know you're a human being, but in your everyday life you're my boss, I earn my living with you, and that's a bit...

" "Awkward?

" "Degrading." I think that's what I really meant. I felt defenseless, poor, small around him...

" "Ms. Zuzanna, what are you saying? Why degrading?" He was truly outraged!

"Try to understand me," I said and sat down on a high stool at the bar. He did the same, looking at me seriously. "You're my superior, as they say now, you give me a job, thanks to you I have money to live on, that means you're above me, I'm dependent on you, I'm just your employee, someone who does some work for you, I do what you tell me...

" "You're not just any employee, and you're not doing "any" work, what you do is very important to my company and to me."

"I understand, and I'm glad you say that, but still...

" "I'm still the boss, right?

" "Yes! You're still my boss." I didn't know how to explain it anymore. Just bringing it up was embarrassing. For me, a boss was always a boss. I'd never considered any closer contact. I can't fully explain it. I can't tell this handsome man standing before me that I feel uncomfortable around him.

"Can I change it somehow?" he asked in a lower voice, and I felt my face heat up. God... what was happening to me then? I couldn't look at him, and I so desperately wanted to look into those black eyes again...

"No, you can't change it, I'm sorry," I said, getting up, and walking away. Why did I do that? I'm not entirely sure; I thought I was afraid the conversation would take a turn for the worse and our working relationship would deteriorate. I really like this job and don't want to lose it, and a bad relationship with my boss could be grounds for dismissal. But in reality, as I sat down at the table and lit a cigarette, it occurred to me that the reason was my fear that during a longer conversation, he'd get to know me better, realize I wasn't interesting, regret entrusting me with such a good position, and... he wouldn't look at me that way anymore. I hate these damn insecurities; they always make my life difficult.

"Besides, I'll say it again for the hundredth time, he's my boss... and contact with the boss should be limited to professional matters. End of story.

March 7th.

This morning was difficult. On Saturday, my mom came to visit me with her Labrador retriever, Sisi, with whom my Tytus is madly in love. My dad couldn't come because he was working, so my mom stayed with me all weekend. We had long conversations. I have great conversations with my mom; she's a very intelligent woman who's been through a lot in her life, but she's never lost her spirit." Even when my dad was cheating on her, it was hard for her, I know because she told me about it, but she never lost hope that everything would work out. She didn't throw tantrums, she didn't threaten my father with divorce, she waited. And when he came to his senses and came to her, she forgave him, and from then on, he began to adore her, even more than when he proposed. My mom always says, "I suffered, but it was worth it." I want to be like my mom in the future.

The weekend was a great success, but when Mom left yesterday, along with Sisi, Tytus was so distraught that he howled all night long, missing his friend. My pleas and begging were to no avail; the neighbors were banging on the walls and the floor, and I couldn't do anything to quiet the smitten dog. At four in the morning, Tytus suddenly fell silent and went to sleep, and I had to get up at five-thirty, so an hour and a half of sleep left me unconscious at work today. I mixed up documents in my folders, made countless mistakes in the articles I was writing, and couldn't distinguish the colors of clothes in the photos presented on the slides the company we work with sent.

Anka also works in the fashion department. Seeing what was happening to me, she helped me as much as she could, dear Anula. What would I do without her?

"How's work going?" I heard a voice behind me that paralyzed me. It was my boss.

I turned around, thinking he was talking to me, but they spoke to Natalia, who was working on a new fashion ad. He looked his usual workday: an elegant, expensive suit, a perfectly fitted shirt. I wondered who chose his shirts and ties like that, his wife, his girlfriend, or maybe...what did I care anyway?

I busied myself with my work; I didn't want him to think I was doing nothing. I looked up at him again, and he looked back at me. I'd often wondered what it would be like when we met after this incident, but I hadn't considered that possibility—the boss nodded and...sneered! I'd been the one puzzling over how to react the whole time. I felt embarrassed about the incident, and now I felt even worse. I took it seriously. Yes! I'll admit to myself, because I think self-deception is the worst thing, so I'll admit that something stirred in my heart when he leaned over me like that, whispering like that... well, he just whispered, and now I see how stupid I am. Maybe it's because I want someone so badly. Oh no! No more! I even had thoughts that he had feelings for me, how naive I am, and my mom always warns me like that... I have to stop thinking about it, or all my work on building my self-confidence will be ruined. Yes, I'm working on being more confident in my relationships and in life in general, because I've decided I'm too good and I let myself be manipulated. And feeling inferior to someone isn't all that pleasant.

March 8th, Women's Day

. Great... Women's Day, and I don't even have anyone to wish me well. I don't ask for anything more than wishes. Is that too much?

I was reluctant to go to work. I didn't want to look at my boss, especially not at his silly grins. But I have no choice, I have to work, well, that's life, no one said it would be easy.

Upon entering work, I was greeted with a pleasant surprise. I received a lovely little flower from the receptionist, along with, of course, best wishes. This brightened my mood considerably, and I entered the office with a faint smile. But that smile quickly vanished, specifically because my boss was standing in my office with Natalia, the one who works on the fashion department ad, and with whom I share the office. They were standing by the window, she was showing him something and chatting loudly, and he was nodding with a smile. I walked past them indifferently and went to my desk.

"Oh, Mrs. Zuzanna," the idiot feigned surprise, "how's your work going?

" "Good, great, absolutely wonderful!" I exclaimed, somewhat hysterically, and dug into my purse, as if searching for something important. I wanted them to resume their conversation, but they were looking at me with an angry look of surprise. What could I do? I had to explain my strange outburst. Next time, I'll think ten times before I speak. Anyway... I always tell myself that, and I always make the same mistake: I'm definitely too spontaneous. But I had to get out of it somehow, so I started:

"I'm sorry for that strange exclamation. Sometimes my tongue gets out of control and plays these 'tricks' on me." I smiled sheepishly and started rummaging through my bag again.

"But there has to be a reason for these 'tricks,' right?" he said, smiling at me. Not mockingly, nor maliciously, just normal, nice...beautiful. I wanted to run up to him and strangle him with that blue tie, then throw him out the door, for making me have such mood swings because of him. Because when I saw that smile, I forgot why I was in such a bad mood today. I was angry with myself for standing there staring at him like the proverbial magpie in a headlock. I stood there smiling until he said:

"Well, is there a reason?" I wanted to tell him, "Yes, you're the reason. I can't control my body's impulses around you," but of course I didn't. I just smiled and said,

"It's because today is Women's Day, and I... I received a beautiful flower from Mr. Henryk today, and I thought I wouldn't even get well wishes from anyone. It was very nice, it put me in a positive mood, and that's why I'm shouting so much," I said quickly.

The boss looked at me a little incredulously; my answer probably seemed ridiculous and trivial to him, but I thought I'd pulled it off well. Suddenly, he walked briskly toward me, took my hand, and pressed it to his lips. He stayed like that for a moment, then straightened up and said,

"I'm so sorry, ma'am, it's reprehensible to forget about Women's Day, but I have to admit that...

" "You forgot," I interrupted him with satisfaction. It made me laugh that he would now be running around buying flowers for all the women in the company, and there were 54 of us.

"Yes, I forgot...

" "It doesn't matter, we'll fix it in a moment," I said, seeing how embarrassed and frightened he looked. "Has anyone seen you at the office today?" I asked.

"No. Just Ms. Natalia and you.

" "That's fine, stay in our office and I'll run for the flowers, okay?

" "You're an angel, how can I repay you?"

"Don't leave here, I don't want our girls to feel bad that the boss treats them like... well, never mind. We deserve respect, even though we're just your employees."

My words clearly touched him, because he looked at me reproachfully, stood up quickly, and pressed three hundred zlotys into my hand.

"The girls from the bank had beautiful bouquets of gerberas," I said, still standing with my hand outstretched.

He pulled out another three hundred zlotys, handed it to me, and as he was leaving, he stood next to me and said seriously,

"I'll ask you to come to my office when you get back."

I went, bought flowers and doughnuts, and Natalia and I distributed them to all the women on behalf of the boss. They were very happy, and soon all the offices were decorated with colorful mugs and glasses filled with flowers.

Following the boss's orders... well, the boss's orders, correct wording, so following the boss's orders, after the flower drive, I went to his office. When I entered, he was standing by the mirrored window, watching the women, who were happily examining their elegant bouquets and feasting on doughnuts.

"They're happy, aren't they?" he stated more than asked.

"Of course they are, every woman is happy when she receives flowers," I replied.

"And did you buy any for yourself?

" "No, I didn't.

" "Why?

" "Because I didn't want...

" "You didn't want flowers from me?"

"That's not the point, I didn't want to buy flowers for myself, because that wouldn't make sense; it's like buying myself a birthday present."

"What annoys me about you is that everything seems pointless, strange, or embarrassing to you.

" "Not everything, only what it really is.

" "Ms. Zuzanna... you think of me as a boss who doesn't care about employees, treats them as objects, and only cares about his own interests, right?

" "Yes!" My answer surprised him. He looked at me with those alluring eyes and said,

"I try not to make my employees feel that way," he said. He was sad and seemed to mean it sincerely.

"Apparently, you're not trying hard enough, and besides, I'm not an expert in employer-employee relations, so I ask that we don't discuss this topic any further.

" "But I really want our relationship to be as close and as good as possible...

" "You mean 'ours'?"

"Mine and yours," he looked at me expectantly. I wanted to pause time so I could think of a response, but unfortunately, I don't have that option, and I deeply regret it. Instead, I said,

"Our relationship is good, at least I'm not complaining.

" "But I'd like it to be even better," he said, standing up and suddenly standing next to me.

"No problem," I replied quickly, "maybe we can start right away. Here's a doughnut for you, sir. I thought you might like it, and since I bought some for the girls, I thought of you too. Here," I pressed the doughnut into his hand. He must not have expected this, because his expression was very surprised.

"What, we've already gotten closer, haven't we?" I asked with a smile and left his office. When I closed the door, I burst into hysterical laughter.

March 10th.

Yesterday, my boss didn't speak to me at all, he walked past me and glared at me, while I grinned from ear to ear. I could see it was really irritating him, so I tried to smile even wider each time we met.

But today he couldn't take it anymore and was acting very pretentious towards me. Just as we greeted him, he demanded my receipt and the rest of the money he'd given me to buy flowers for Women's Day. There wouldn't have been anything offensive about it if I hadn't given him the money immediately after I got back, and if he hadn't said it in front of the colleagues I work with.

"I wanted to point out that I gave you both the receipt and the money after I got back from the flower shop," I said nervously.

"I don't remember," he said. He stood over my desk and brazenly watched me get flustered and glance at my colleagues.

"It's none of my business. I gave you the money and put it on my desk.

" "You must be doing something—oh no! That was too much. What was he thinking, the idiot.

" "Am I doing something?" Do you think I'd be capable of taking money that doesn't belong to me? My salary is enough for me to live on; I don't need to take anyone else's money, and I'm certainly not stupid or desperate enough to steal money from my BOSS!" I shouted, emphasizing the word BOSS.

I was furious and deeply hurt by these suspicions. I stood up and left, slamming the door behind me.

I quickly went to the restroom, needing to calm down. In fact, I felt like crying. This self-assured stiff had accused me of things I couldn't even fathom. No one had ever upset me like that. He did it in front of my friends, and it's so easy to change someone's mind. And who would want to hang out with someone who's dishonest and steals... yes, steals, because that's exactly what my boss had accused me of. Suddenly, I heard footsteps behind me.

"Ms. Zuzanna – yes, it was him. I didn't feel like talking to him and didn't stop. But he ran over and stood in front of me.

"Excuse me," he said in one breath. I didn't reply, so he continued: "I'm having a bad day, and that's probably why I attacked you like that.

" "Why me?

" "I don't know..."

"You insulted me in front of my friends and you can't explain why?

" "Well...yes," he replied. "Well, no! I wanted to jump him and scratch his eyes out.

"Do you remember that I gave the money back?

" "Yes...

" "I don't believe it" – that was the height of impudence – "and yet...

" "But Mrs. Zuzanna...

" "Don't bother. You knew perfectly well I gave the money back, and yet you accused me of stealing because you were having a bad day and I happened to be there. It's ridiculous.

" "But why stealing in the first place?"

"You accused me of not returning the money, and if not, then by simple, logical reasoning, if I didn't return it, then I took it, and the money wasn't mine. What conclusion can I draw from that? That I would be taking someone else's money, and that's THEFT!" I was far too nervous.

"Ms. Zuzanna, you're beautiful when you're angry," I choked. My emotions almost burst my throat, and he told me I was beautiful.

"Excuse me? You must be joking.

" "You're not very beautiful, and I'd like to invite you to dinner.

" "Did you create this whole situation to invite me to dinner?

" "Yes.

" "But why?

" "Because you're the kind of woman who, I'm one hundred percent sure, a simple invitation for a date wouldn't make the slightest impression on. Besides, I couldn't resist the sight. You're truly charming when you scream..."

I didn't know what to say, I stood there staring at him.

"So, shall we go?" he asked with a smile.

"Let's go," I replied, and felt a smile light up my face.