He stood there for a moment, unsure what to do. She was a wonderful woman. He had learned that she was a wonderful woman.
He strode briskly toward her room. He opened the door, pausing in the middle.
She turned away from the window. He stood there, looking at her expressively.
This is it, she thought
. He needed a sudden impulse like that. Finally, she forced him to do something.
Without further hesitation, she was right next to him, embracing him and hugging him as tightly as she could.
She pressed her cheek against his,
her breast against his chest.
He embraced her fiercely. She tried even harder.
Her lush hair clung to the right side of his face.
They themselves didn't know how long they stood in that tight embrace.
Certainly many long minutes.
She wanted to cry. It was all too much for her.
But she was beginning to think she might finally be able to free herself from all the compassion he had poured out on her.
She was certain she had won. She felt her body tremble and hugged him even tighter.
He was so lonely. So abandoned by the people who had suddenly left.
They spent that night in her room. She learned everything.
His parents were dead. In fact, he didn't remember them very well; they died in an accident when he was less than five years old.
He and his brother were taken in by their godaunt, who had only two daughters.
They grew up believing they had only each other and that nothing could ever tear them apart.
They were true brothers. The last of their family. They vowed to always stick together.
The friendship and brotherhood that bound them were forever.
In reality, they raised themselves, learning from each other's mistakes and talking about whatever they felt the need to.
Sebastian always respected Paweł, who was a year older than him.
They were interested in similar things. First, modeling, then technology and engineering.
They went to the same university, the Faculty of Civil Engineering at the Częstochowa University of Technology, except Sebastian was a first-year student and Paweł was a second-year student.
They planned to start their own business. They had big plans. After graduation, they wanted to start a company focused on providing comprehensive services to design and engineering studios, using programs like AutoCad and AutoDesk.
They knew that after graduation, the future lay open for people like them. However, Paweł wanted to serve in the military after graduation.
He didn't have to, and they wouldn't have asked him back anyway, but he wanted to do it for his own satisfaction.
He enjoyed these things and knew he wouldn't have the chance to experience anything like the military in the future.
He volunteered. Sebastian understood.
They agreed that he would return after less than a year and begin implementing their grand, long-term plans. Ultimately, Sebastian was supposed to refine them and test the market.
Paweł, however, never returned.
After two months of service, he was accidentally shot in the head.
He died in the hospital. Suddenly, Sebastian realized he would never see his brother again.
He couldn't believe it, that Paweł simply wouldn't return from the army.
In an instant, his insides shattered.
Not him! Why him! – it was too much for him.
He only had him. He was the only one with whom he had planned his future life, and he knew it would be successful if they stuck together. It could only be successful with him.
To this day, no one has explained Brother Sebastian's death. It was an unfortunate accident, the military concluded, never even managing to find the rifle from which the bullet had fired.
He died with a shot to the head while on night watch.
It was incomprehensible to Sebastian.
How? Why? – it made no sense at all.
He began to think that someone higher than him, someone who had created him, had played a merciless game with him.
The boy withdrew into himself. He became an increasing burden to his girlfriend, who ultimately abandoned him. At first, he didn't even notice. Later, however, her loss caught up with him and only intensified his suffering.
After some time, she became the girlfriend of Jarek, a mutual friend and brother of his, who occasionally visited him to check on his well-being.
After her departure, he lost his strength. He knew he would lose his life, which was nothing more than a series of unfortunate events. Events that were the result of the world's society, which were merely unfortunate coincidences. On the multiplying bad luck in his life.
All of life is one giant accident of evolution.
The shot came from the people. It is humanity that condemns itself to suffering.
Every day, someone ruins someone else's life.
That's how it is. People have multiplied like rabbits, most of whom cannot cope with their own problems.
The destiny he once believed in is gone. There was no help from the God he once believed in. Everything was a product of evolution, and every life was a series of accidents.
He no longer believed in the Bible. He didn't read it, even though it sat dusty on the shelf.
Instead, he began reading online about great thinkers who shared his views.
Their thoughts depress him and he loved them because they were true to him.
He understood them well.
His life had lost the only meaning it had seen when Paul was still alive.
His brother had been something extraordinary to him, something that had simply been taken from him.
Then the girl he loved was taken from him.
There was nothing left for him in this world, he thought.
Fate had shattered all the pillars on which he had based his future.
He had accepted that his life would not be as he had expected.
Days, months passed, and he had learned to endure this suffering and misery.
At night, she had urged him. She had explained to him that he should try, that he should find a job.
Life could still be what he and his brother wanted.
Let her live it for herself and for him.
There was something in that, he thought, quietly getting out of her bed.
She had been so warm to him, so eager for him to change.
No one could give him what the people he once knew had, and yet, with her, he was beginning to feel it again. She was a human being, flesh and blood, fighting for him like a lion.
He couldn't come to terms with the past; it was too much for him.
But now, thanks to her, he felt like he wanted to do something, that he wanted to live despite everything.
He thought of his father. Every time he stared at his old black-and-white photo, a single snapshot from his childhood, when his father was still there, would flash through his mind.
Dad was throwing him a blue ball, which he tried to pick up.
Nothing more. That much he remembered.
Now, thanks to her, he felt like playing football. He felt like it after almost a year and a half of being intoxicated by the texts and works of pessimistic philosophers.
He looked at her sleeping face. She was breathing calmly. He left the room, closing the door quietly behind him so as not to wake her.
She didn't wake up until after ten, falling asleep for the lectures, but that didn't matter.
After a moment, she turned briskly behind her. He wasn't there, even though he'd fallen asleep on her bed the night before.
In fact, she'd lulled him to sleep like a little child.
She felt unimaginable. Simply unimaginable.
She looked at the world through different eyes. He opened himself to her. For the first time, thanks to her, he felt he had a chance.
She was calm, full of strength. She was great.
She scrambled out of bed, and her right pajama leg, which had gotten up when she stood, fell back onto her leg.
Slightly disheveled, she headed for the bathroom.
To her surprise, the words written in lipstick on the mirror were:
"Come see, it's different now.
I don't cry anymore.
For being alive."
She almost burst into tears.
She stared at the words written in pale red lipstick, feeling tears welling up in her eyes.
She hurried across the room.
On his door was a lipstick message:
"And come see, it's different now. I don't cry anymore.
I feel alive."
She read the last words twice, bursting into tears. A longed-for smile began to emerge through her tears.
She entered his room.
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