REALITY

Only by reaching the bottom do you know what the tops look like.

The girl tilted her head back, arching like a string under the hands of a seasoned virtuoso. He ran his warm hands along her inner thighs, kissing her belly gently. She moaned, trying to get as comfortable as possible. She was ready. Couldn't he see it? Why was he teasing her so? She almost screamed in surprise when she felt his tongue between her thighs. She sighed and closed her eyes. She felt herself drifting away, a warm shiver running through her body, making her scream from the depths of her being. The world became a starry sky, the air took on a taste of pleasure that was difficult to absorb.

The girl stood on the corner of Zielona and Żeromskiego Streets. The crowd passed by indifferently. Resigned, she lit another cigarette. The smoke relaxed her, brought her back to reality. For a moment, she felt like she was waiting itself. Suddenly, she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned around in surprise.

"Don't say anything," she heard a cold voice say. She couldn't see his face; it was obscured by a black, 1920s-style hat. The man, she guessed, grabbed her hand and led her into a dark alley. There, he paused carefully, checking to make sure no one was following them. Still silent, he handed her a small piece of paper. She took it, tearfully staring at the crumpled piece of paper, not yet fully understanding what had happened. There was an address and a price—one thousand zlotys. She glanced at the man.

"Tuesday."

The girl returned her gaze to the note and tore it to shreds.

"What time?"

she asked, throwing the cigarette onto the sidewalk and crushing it with her heel.

"Eight o'clock."

Without a word, she turned, eager to get out of the dark alley as quickly as possible. She heard the man light a cigarette and toss it to her as he left.

"Baby!"

She turned slowly, brushing back his long auburn hair with his hand. The man looked up from under his hat; his eyes were black.

"Don't be late.

" "I'm a professional," she whispered, and slowly emerged from the alley. As she walked, she felt as if the whole world had slowed down, I'm a professional.

Everyone knows that storm of hair.

A wavering gesture at the lips.

This is Celina, Celina, Celina.

Like the bugle call, her laughter rings.

When the whole city sleeps.

She hasn't sobered up since Saturday.

The ballet has been going on for four days now.

And in a twist, she rides

in a lightning bolt of clips, on broken glass.

La, la, la,

There were a lot of people, and she sat naked on a chair, smoking a second cigarette and sipping a gin and tonic. She waited. The alcohol warmed her, and the eager gazes of the wealthy irritated her. But she remembered why she was there. She put down her glass and stubbed out her cigarette, waiting for her turn, flexing her body to make her large breasts even more alluring. Two girls, equally naked and young, were right at her feet. The younger, slender blonde had just screamed as she experienced another orgasm. The older, brunette smiled and slowly, without rushing, withdrew her hand from between her thighs. The younger girl lay there for a moment, trying to catch her breath. Her breasts, which had been taut moments before, were now returning to their former state. A businessman lifted the fainting blonde and carried her to the nearest bed, where a line had already formed. The girl looked away. Now it was her turn. Before she got to work, she and the brunette had another strong drink mixed with something else. This substance made the world a game, and the only thing that mattered was an orgasm that would take you away from this nightmare place, far, far, far away…

When I tell myself enough,

and I know it won't be long now…

When I want to leave,

then I know they're not telling me something, no…

I'll leave quietly, because that's what I want.

I know I'll be alone then.

No one will even look back,

I know it will be quiet then.

And I'll look only into your eyes,

I'll want to know this one truth

before I fade away, disappear on my own.

I'll finally hear what I want.

Was it worth going crazy like this, my whole life?

Was it worth burning myself out like I did?

Was it worth loving like this, until it hurts?

Can I leave now?

The girl slowly walked down the corridor, which seemed endless. It was surprisingly quiet, and she looked curiously at the adjacent park. The spring sun gently slid across the trees. She could almost feel its warmth, so welcome after the long winter. The soft creak of the door roused her from her reverie. The young nurse beckoned her. The girl brushed back her long auburn hair and, with a slight trepidation, followed the nurse into the office. The door gently closed, as if sealing her off from the park, which had suddenly become synonymous with safety. She felt her heart leap into her throat, and every fiber of her being screamed: run! Nevertheless, she forced herself, and like a martyr, she took the few steps to sit in the chair opposite the young man. She smiled as she sat down; now there was no turning back. She felt like she was doing this for the first time. As if everything she had done so far had ceased to matter. The man smiled and began a difficult conversation. He said exactly what she wanted to hear when she most longed for it. She relaxed, never forgetting for a moment that this was his profession. Relaxed, she managed to survey the well-kept office. She quickly realized she was dealing with a specialist, and what's more, an exceptionally discreet gynecologist. Without unnecessary veils, she answered every question he asked. After that, it was routine. Short, perfunctory instructions, straightforward questions, straightforward answers, a cold chair in an uncomfortable position, a moment of forced calm, and the words that would change everything forever: You're pregnant...

For three nights I cried,

afraid of it ,

painting a cross on my chest

with my blood, my blood...

The girl sat on a bench. She felt the world suddenly become much heavier than it should have been. She took the last cigarette from the pack and lit up. She wanted to quit. She couldn't. She saw no point. The summer sun warmed her face, which was covered in too much makeup, a light breeze ruffled her long, auburn hair, damaged by dye. Her index book lay beside her. She rubbed her nose with her wrist. The index book, the master of the troubles that had befallen her. That's what she told herself, and that's what she told her mother, who spoke to her. Instinctively, she touched her stomach, taking a drag on her cigarette. Mothers... they never understand anything. She took the index book in her hands and looked over the notes scribbled in pen one last time. She would receive an academic scholarship, at least that's what a classmate had calculated. This success only momentarily dispelled the increasingly dark clouds. Tears of regret and longing for something lost etched deep lines in her makeup. The phone rang. She automatically answered. She heard a familiar voice.

"Congratulations on passing the semester. Thursday at 9 p.m..

" "Normal sex?" she asked, stubbing out her cigarette on the rim of her desk. She was about to quit.

"Yes."

The sound of the receiver being hung up made her realize she wouldn't hear anything more. The conversation was over before it had even really begun. She stood up, tossing the index into her purse and walking over to the kiosk.

"Two tickets..." She hesitated, but after a moment added. "A lighter and cigarettes.

A day when the power of light is strongest.

There are words I will never utter.

A shame I don't know at night ties my lips,

Indifference is queen

. Cold, unfeeling.

Now, when the night itself awakens from sleep

. She made a decision. She sat in the armchair and calmly waited for his return. A decision she had made, a lifelong commitment. Astonished by her calmness, she folded her hands in her lap. She waited.

When she heard the door creak and keys being placed on the shelf, she stood up. The man slowly undressed and walked slowly into the kitchen. He smiled at her and began making tea. He was tired, sore, and longed only for sleep. The girl stood in the kitchen doorway, gazing lovingly at him. After a moment, the man looked up in surprise. He already held a cup in his hand, the infusion spreading a pleasant aroma. The woman in the doorway looked at him intently and whispered ,

"I'm having a baby."

The cup fell to the ground with a crash. The tea burned his hands and bare feet. The pain was excruciating, but far less intense than the news he'd just heard. The girl looked at him in surprise.

"When?" He stammered, ignoring his scalded hands. She walked over to him and began drying them, collecting the cup, brewing a new one, and explaining methodically.

"I found out two weeks ago. I'm six weeks pregnant. I'm quitting my job and I'll continue my studies as long as I can. Then... then we'll see. Maybe Mom will help me; I can't count on Dad...

" "You've already thought it all out, haven't you?" he growled, pulling away. She stood up and looked at him calmly.

"I don't want to be a burden. Besides, you know where I work. Maybe it's not your child?"

She said this with cold calculation. He looked at her in surprise.

"How do you imagine that?

" "Normal," she whispered, turning away; in truth, she hadn't imagined it at all.

"You didn't include me in your plans?" he hissed again. He turned her around roughly and looked into her frightened eyes. "Maybe I want to raise this child, maybe I feel a sense of paternity, what then?"

The girl remained silent, lowering her gaze. "Indeed, what then?" The man released her and leaned against the dresser. He was silent for a moment, then, in a cold voice, he stated rather than asked.

"You will marry me. No more work for you." He threw it in her face like an order.

"I left her two weeks ago. I don't know if it's..." She whispered, tears streaming down her cheeks. He approached her and hugged her. He didn't say a word. No words could express what was contained in that moment.

This world is strange,

where so much evil still

resides.

And it's strange that for so many years, man has despised man.

This world is strange,

the world of human affairs.

Sometimes it's embarrassing to admit it.

And yet it often happens

that someone kills with evil words as if with a knife. But

there are more people of good will

, and I firmly believe that this world will never die thanks to them.

No, no, no, no!

The time has come, high time,

to destroy the hatred within.

The girl stood on the corner of Zielona and Żeromskiego Streets. Nervously, she lit another cigarette. With a watchful gaze, she once again surveyed one of the city's most populated streets. Suddenly, a young couple emerged from around the corner. She was pregnant, leaning on his arm, long auburn hair flowing down to her waist. He embraced her and slowly explained something, as if he were spreading a land of happiness before her. The young girl on the corner knew he was telling her fairy tales. She didn't believe in fairy tales; they were too cruel. She looked at the couple in disbelief. The expectant mother seemed strangely familiar.

Suddenly, the woman with auburn hair looked her way. The girl flinched. She knew those looks; she saw them every day in the mirror. She recoiled in horror. She turned and ran the other way, forgetting the important meeting she had been waiting for.

At home, in front of the mirror, she looked at her reflection. "Who am I?" she whispered, staring into the mirror. "Who am I?" She remembered what she had seen today. A fairy tale. She was sure it was a fairy tale, and she didn't believe in fairy tales.

You look at life without emotion

In spite of the times and people, in spite

of Wherever you are, day or night,

You watch the game through the eyes of a spectator

Someone else changes the world for you

They stick their head out, raise a cry

And you stay away, because it's better this way

And just in case, you don't lose anything

Experience it yourself Experience

it yourself

Don't turn your heart into a hard stone

While you still have a heart

You saw yesterday, again in the newspaper

Tired people, a weary crowd

And one detail caught your eye

A vast sea of ​​human heads

And the announcer drawled sharp words

That suddenly swelled your anger

And anger began to sprout inside you

Until you thought - enough of silence!

Experience it yourself...