They met by chance, drawn together by something no one can understand to this day. Ordinary young boys for whom the world was beautiful and innocent, but over time it transformed into a maelstrom of meaninglessness. Whether it was puberty, or perhaps simply observing this world for many years, they learned that the world was worthless, and so was life. When they met, they were still young. They noticed this meaninglessness but didn't care. However, the game they began led them to other realms of thought. This game was called love, in which neither of them passionately believed.
They'd known each other for a long time. That is, they'd been avoiding each other in their neighborhood for a long time. Perhaps it was rare, as each of them stuck to their own side, sometimes designated by the school. Each of them attended a different school. This wasn't surprising, as the sprawling neighborhood contained three elementary schools, one of which bordered the neighborhood they'd previously lived in. They sometimes saw each other at church. But now, as 14-year-olds, they didn't give a damn about church. They'd already noticed the hypocrisy of that institution, not only because of the history they'd learned in school, but also from their own observations. Their parents, however, forced them to church, thus contributing to the young boys' habit. They treated family traditions with such habit. However, they finally met during their confirmation rehearsals. Something had previously drawn them to each other, but they hadn't paid much attention to it. One day, everything started differently. It was fucking 1999. In a church packed with boys. The parish priest ensured this division. I don't know if he was afraid that girls and boys would become twice as insufferable, or if he simply preferred to admire each gender separately. It probably stemmed from the fact that boys were bigger rascals and needed more time. So, the priest devoted his sacred time to us. He taught confirmation pornography, and we absorbed it like a theme from Radio Maryja. Mariusz sat in the second pew, his equally unstable friend, and they spouted their philosophical truths. In front of them sat the first pew, and in it sat the familiar friend from Mariusz's neighborhood. He perceived it the same way. His name was Piotr, and that was certainly not how he wanted to be called and known. His real baptismal name is unknown, and perhaps it never will be. Sometimes the first pew would turn around and exchange obscene observations. Sometimes the pews would become a bit empty, and then such contact would be easier to establish. So one day, when they were still trying out as Christian youth before their confirmation, it happened that Mariusz's faithful, vulgar friend was gone, and he sat with a few outliers he didn't particularly like from his class and school. The first row was mostly filled with pedantry from the same elementary school, which was subject to tribute for that parish. Somehow, the loud and powerful observations echoed in Piotruś's head. He turned his respectable head and added his own words. They both laughed. Strangely, it was just them. They didn't even care if others laughed.
They say love comes suddenly, like the devil's hand. You can't expect it. Neither of them believed in it. They believed true love didn't exist, and people had invented countless kinds. They'd never fallen in love with reciprocation before. Now it had happened. Their whole world could have collapsed. On the other hand, how were they supposed to know it was true love? They were struck by the fact that they both felt this way about the boy. But in that same moment, their feelings reconciled. They didn't feel like fags, they felt normal. They understood that love was independent of age and gender. They only loved each other. Everything that was, is, and will be didn't matter to them. It was as if they'd stumbled upon a treasure hunt, giving a damn about what the whole world thought. However, they never fully understood, and they would never know if it was love. They didn't have time to answer that question in their lifetime.
Mariusz was brunette, but Piotr actually had typical black hair. So intensely black, it was almost black. Mariusz's short hair stood out among Piotruś's lush hair, curling towards the end behind his neck. It was beautiful hair. So angelic. Mariusz was a tall boy, while Piotruś looked more grown-up, but that stemmed from his family; he had small parents. Even his face briefly evoked the idea of a typical dwarf, but even if it was, he was the most beautiful dwarf in the world. His lush hair and short stature made him seem angelic in Mariusz's eyes. Finally, Mariusz had found his angel. After all, angels are genderless, so it doesn't matter; he's just an Earthling boy. But never mind their damn appearances; I could never focus on them fully, and the same goes for the description of nature, which doesn't even fit here.
That's how they first made contact. They knew they were on the same wavelength. They exchanged lyrics many times. The priest even ignored the fact that he was being ignored, and they continued to bash him. Days passed, and subsequent weekly meetings in the cold church affected their conversations, until Mariusz's vulgar friend had to jealously join in. So what if his wavelengths sometimes overlapped with Mariusz's, that was nothing. It was like country disco polo and city disco polo. With Piotrek and Mariusz, however, it was completely different. Their wavelengths, no matter how different, attracted them like nothing else in their fucking lives. Finally, the long-awaited day arrived. This was the last such gathering of rebellious pre-confirmation students. Mariusz decided, for once in his life, not to hide his feelings, even though the situation was, as he himself claimed, a bit strange and different. As soon as the opportunity arose, Mariusz put his lips to Piotruś's ear and said,
"I like a guy, but don't tell anyone."
For a moment, Piotr sat numb and didn't even move his head. Finally, he slowly turned his head, even smiling. He motioned for Mariusz to come closer. Mariusz immediately placed his ear in front of his mouth. He heard a whisper:
"Me too."
Mariusz straightened up, looked seriously at Piotr for a moment, and then they both burst out laughing. After a while, Mariusz approached his ear again, even closer.
"I like girls too, but this one is just an angel." Then he lightly ran his tongue over Piotrek's ear.
He straightened up again in the bench, and after a moment, the black angel turned to him, still unearthly and with a lustful smile. He nodded again for Mario to come closer. Again, ear met lips:
"I also like only one angel." Then he did exactly the same thing Mariusz had done earlier, licking Mariusz's ear.
The larger one straightened up again and sat with a wet ear, grinning from ear to ear with happiness. When the lesson ended, Piotr was accosted by Mariusz as he left the bench.
"What are we going to do about it?"
Piotr looked at him with his beautiful eyes and smiled.
"What are you suggesting?" he asked Mariusz.
Mariusz hesitated, unsure what to say, and then he did:
"I love you," he said quietly, then turned and quickly left the church, catching up with his school friends.
They met the next day for confirmation. They were dressed in suits. The black angel was in a green suit and looked divine. Mariusz was in black – an agent. Piotr sat in front and didn't turn around at all. Besides, he sat on the edge of pew number one, and Mariusz sat on the other side, on the edge of pew number two. Once, right after taking the body of Christ in his face, Piotr glanced at Mariusz, who had been staring at him almost the entire time. He winked at him and continued praying, if he prayed at all, because Mariusz didn't usually do that. He was thinking about something else.
For a few days, Mariusz hung around the church in the evenings after school, but he didn't meet his desired person. Finally, one Sunday, at ten o'clock, they met. Mariusz immediately approached Piotrek.
"Hi!" said a delighted Mario.
Piotr responded with the same reply and smiled. Then Mariusz grabbed his hand.
"Let's get out of here," he said.
A moment later, they left the House of God together. They went for a short walk around the neighborhood, trying not to bump into each other's homes and families. They exchanged words. They told each other everything about school, studies, family, life, and so on. Finally, they entered philosophy class, even chatted about love, and then they realized that Mass had long since ended and it was time to go home. Then:
"Remember what I told you at the end of confirmation?"
Piotr hesitated for a moment before answering. Finally, he said,
"I love you too," and quickly moved forward, leaving Mariusz in happy consternation
. They met almost every day. Especially after school, spending a lot of time together. Those were the most beautiful years of their love. This love was innocent, pure, and beautiful. They kissed, caressed, and hugged. They comforted each other when one had problems. After all, they were like friends, operating on the same repertoire and loving each other. They loved each other's bodies too. Everything would have been beautiful, until one day something undesirable crept in. Desire, in fact. It destroyed them. They started having sex. At first, it was beautiful. Oral sex, anal sex. Over time, their love turned into sick fascinations that began to destroy them. Over time, they discovered the secrets of the world. They understood that everything was meaningless, that life sucked, even death, but that was what they were waiting for. They began to collapse within themselves. They ignored the outside world; only their own satisfaction mattered. They began to discover their own perversions. They always had sex without a condom, though it was dangerous, but not for them. They began to dabble in perversions that aren't worth mentioning. Among them, subtle perversions included peeing in the mouth or eating shit. It was nothing to do with what they did. Moreover, they tried to desecrate everything they could, because they believed in nothing and nothing held any value for them. They even desecrated corpses in cemeteries, most often communists. They believed in nothing, had anal sex in front of their church altar, and in better times, sometimes ejaculated on the altar. They sinned, did whatever they wanted, and somehow no one from the afterlife bothered to claim them. They wanted to reach the highest peaks of possibility—of impossibility. They climbed higher and higher, but they knew they were truly at a low ebb, and there was still a long way to go. They feared nothing, sometimes writing their own slogans on the walls. They once wrote on a church: FUCK GOD!!! FUCK SATAN!!!
They often brought dangerous situations upon themselves. Whether they survived or not, it was never enough. They were sometimes called the worst monsters in the area, but it was never enough for them. They destroyed their loved ones. Most of them ended up in psychiatric hospitals, some committed suicide. They sometimes jumped from a three-story building onto the grass, but somehow they still lived. No one understood; neither the world of the dead nor the world of the living bothered them; they weren't breaking the law that much. One day, they had to do just that. They locked themselves in a school and shot all the kids in a few minutes. They fled immediately. The police were looking for them, but they locked themselves in their home. They injected themselves with a drug that causes heart attacks during orgasm, so it shouldn't be used during intercourse. They injected themselves with such large doses that they should have died on the spot, but they didn't. They undressed and began making love. Finally, they decided that Peter would be the one to fuck Marius. Finally, they reached orgasm together. ORGASM. DEATH.
Their bodies were never found. Some who know this story say their embodied souls wander the world, haunting wicked people. Others say they never died, but were transported to heaven in a fiery chariot, just like Elijah.
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