"I'm HIV positive, I'm HIV positive, I'm HIV positive..." Todd's words throbbed in her head like the neon lights of a big city. Absurd. Nonsense. Not true...
"This is a joke, right?" she smiled crookedly. "Tell me you're joking!" A pleading note crept into her voice.
Silence can sometimes be the most terrifying answer.
Rebel felt faint. She fell helplessly to her knees.
"Are you sure..." she whispered, staring into the void. It was the only half-rational question she could think of. Her mind was in total chaos. "
I think so." It sounded like a sentence. "I have to repeat the tests in a week to be one hundred percent sure. And..." A terrible grimace of pain crossed his face. "You should get your blood tested too...
" "What are you talking about?" she asked, surprised. Jimmy looked equally confused.
Todd's gaze shifted from one face to the other. His lower lip trembled slightly.
"Because I could have infected you..."
Rebel felt beads of cold sweat form on her skin.
They? Sick?
Funny, the possibility hadn't even occurred to her before. Todd's news had so startled her that she hadn't even had a chance to consider her own skin.
She exchanged worried glances with Jim. They were afraid. Very afraid. And they would be complete idiots if they didn't fear for their lives. But beyond fear, there was something else within them. A strength that always gave them a blissful sense of security, even the most violent storms – loyalty. Without the knowledge that in every situation, even the worst, you had someone to rely on, their lives as outcasts would be incredibly difficult.
Todd, however, misinterpreted their silence.
"God, I'm sorry! I'm the worst kind of trash. I feel terrible for putting you through this hell. I didn't know I was sick! God knows, if I had known, I would have killed myself long ago. I'm sorry!" "He burst into tears.
Rebel rose from the floor and sat down next to him. She put her arm around him.
"You..." she said gently. "It's not your fault." She stroked his hair soothingly.
"We don't know yet if we're sick too. Why worry in advance?" Jimmy observed, snuggling into Armstrong's side.
Todd rubbed his eyes with his fists in surprise.
"Aren't you scared?" he asked, his voice distorted by sobs.
"We are," Rebel agreed sincerely. "But that's no reason to abandon you like a broken toy. "
We'll get through this together. It'll work out somehow," Jimmy said cheerfully.
Hearing these words, Todd completely lost control. He sobbed even louder. But this time they were tears of gratitude.
He couldn't form a proper sentence. He only mumbled incoherent thanks.
"Come on. That's what friends are for, right? For better or for worse, in sickness or in health. Together, forever." Rebel smiled warmly and kissed his cheek. Todd smiled through his tears and hugged them tightly.
"Friends... Love... I don't deserve them..." he thought, his bleeding heart filling with regret. "
Are you sure?" Rebel asked, sitting on the bed and staring at Todd, who was putting on a black denim jacket. Jimmy lay next to her, his head resting on her lap.
"Yes. I need to go for a walk and think... about some things." He smiled sadly. Everyone knew exactly what she meant. "I just... want to be alone for a while. I don't want to seem ungrateful, because I owe you everything, but..." "
We understand. You don't have to explain yourself." Jimmy gave him a reassuring smile.
Todd sighed gratefully. He was lost in the world of words.
"Just take your hat." You have to be very careful if you're…" Rebel bit her tongue. She was clearly embarrassed.
"Sure," he replied indifferently, pretending he hadn't heard. They resolved the matter very diplomatically. Todd obediently put on his hat, trying to hide the grim smile that was creeping onto his lips.
"I'm going…" he announced, turning his back to them.
"Todd…" Rebel called hesitantly.
He flinched and looked back.
"Yes?" His heart began to pump blood at double speed. He listened intently to the woman's voice, trying to ignore the dull thumping of his heart muscles. Why had he reacted like that?
"Just don't do anything to yourself!" Rebel warned sharply. But then she added in a much gentler, warmer tone. "Remember, there will always be someone here waiting for you…"
A tear welled up in Todd's eye, but he didn't let it fall.
"I know." That short word couldn't even convey half the feeling Todd longed to fill him with. He smiled at them one last time and reached for the doorknob. At the door, however, he paused for a moment and risked a quick glance back. His friends were so pale they were almost transparent. And though they smiled, their eyes couldn't mask their sadness. They tried to be brave and tried to comfort him. He was grateful for that. But now he was almost certain that as soon as he left the apartment, they would begin to cry tears of helplessness.
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