"Let go!" I yelled with all my might as he dragged me down the hall toward the stairs. Finally, I swung my arm and hit him hard in the back. He paid no attention. "I'm not going anywhere!" I protested as he dragged me downstairs. "Kamil!" I stopped and refused to let him lead me any further.
"We'll talk when we get out of here," he announced gruffly. I laughed.
"Shall we talk? We have nothing to talk about?" I don't know what came over me. Maybe it was just that for the first time in my life, I'd decided to completely defy him...?
"You think so?
" "Yes.
" "So I have to go straight to your parents? They wouldn't like you sipping beer with some strange guy! Who was smoking, to boot!
" "It's none of your business..."
"But it's mine! Because I promised to look after you here..."
"But unfortunately, you're not my father, damn it!
" "I'm your boyfriend, and I feel responsible for you too."
- This isn't responsibility! This is some kind of sick control over everything I do... - I was already fed up with his politeness, his manners... I had needed a bit of madness to enter my life for a long time. I was tired of sitting with this tactful boy, for whom the word "fuck" was a sin equal to murder.
"Majka, what's going on...?" Suddenly his voice, so loud and decisive, broke and fell silent.
"Nothing..." I tried to keep my cool. He stared at me, and I pretended to be suddenly interested in a painting hanging on the wall a little further away.
"Let's go back... Come on," he whispered. I bit my lip, still looking at the painting. I completely lost the desire to party, laugh with these people, and stay in this house. In short, he destroyed the whole atmosphere that had fascinated me so much here. "Majka...?
" "What?
" "Come on..."
*
The days passed slowly and boringly, as always... As always, Kamil loved me, cared for me... he didn't say a word to my parents about how I behaved at Patryk's birthday party. Over time, I realized it was stupid and pointless. All the peace collapsed about a month later, when I received a text message. It was from him. He wrote that one of his friends was having a birthday party and I was invited. I was very surprised, because I didn't really know any of his friends that well. I had serious doubts whether even one of them remembered my name.
I didn't go. Even though I wanted to, I gave in to Kamil again; his opinion was more important than my desires, my needs... Throughout the year we were together, it always ended with "his." If he didn't want me to do something, I didn't. If he didn't want me to be friends with someone, I immediately cut off contact. It was the same thing over and over again, the same entertainment, the same monotony...
Young people are divided into three groups. The first spends Saturday evenings with friends at the cinema, laughing at the latest comedies and guzzling popcorn and crisps by the pound. The second spends Saturday evenings with friends at parties, laughing and guzzling beer and other alcoholic beverages by the gallon. The third, or the rest, spends Saturday evenings alone, sitting in front of the computer, bored in the comfort of their own home, or studying for Monday's tests. I definitely belonged to the first group...
*
"Who's going to the bathroom?" Olka yelled as we walked away from the ticket office with our freshly purchased tickets to a horror movie. Both Ulka and Sandra raised their hands, followed by a short laugh.
"Okay, let's go," Ola grabbed the girls' arms. "And then you'll be pissing yourself in fear!" The brunette stuck out her tongue teasingly at me.
"Maybe I'll buy something to drink then..."
Slowly heading towards the bar/shop on the other side of the cinema, I began to rummage through my purse for my wallet.
"Damn..." I whispered, feeling my face heat up. Had I forgotten my money? Suddenly, I bumped into someone, and everything I'd taken out to dig out my wallet faster landed on the ground. "What's the matter?" I shouted, annoyed, though I hadn't really noticed anyone standing in my path to the shop.
"Oh... hi!" The boy I'd met at Patryk's birthday party turned around, hearing my wail and feeling the pain in his shoulder from being bumped.
"Marcin..." I groaned automatically. I was surprised I'd remembered his name.
"Yes, Marcin," the blond confirmed. I blushed, only now realizing how stupid that uncontrolled "whisper" must have been.
"Hi," I managed, trying to act normal. He was beautiful. Wonderful. Dark brown eyes, contrasting blond hair, slightly gelled... Or maybe it wasn't gel? Maybe it was just so sexily tousled...
"Hi," he repeated with amusement. We stared at each other for a moment without saying a word. I was utterly shocked, and I didn't even know why. Was it that the boy I'd been talking to was so handsome in the dark on the balcony...? Or that I'd met him here, in such unexpected circumstances...? Or maybe it was that he was just standing there, watching me with a smile...? I bent down and started picking up the scattered things... Lip gloss, tissues... phone. He beat me to it and grabbed it first. Our eyes met again, and I blushed again. I'd never felt anything like this before... not for Kamil, not for any other boy. I was ashamed. I was completely ashamed of Marcin...
- I'm sorry - I said when we got up - I was looking for my wallet, I didn't notice you standing there...
- No problem.
"Are you sure?
" "Sure..." He continued smiling. And I couldn't bring myself to make the slightest gesture. I felt a huge lump in my throat, and my heart felt like it was about to leap out of my chest. "So, what movie are you going to see?"
"To the 'Selection'...
" "Alone?
" "With friends... and you?" To be honest, I really hoped it was the same. Immersed in the color of his eyes, I forgot about the world... I forgot about Kamil.
"No, I didn't come to the movie... My mom works here, I have some business with her." I nodded understandingly. "It's a shame you weren't there on Saturday..." he announced unexpectedly. My eyes widened.
"Where?
" "Well, at my place... didn't Patryk tell you I was having a party?
" "Yes... he said something... but I didn't know it was at your place..." I felt furious with Patryk. How could he not tell me it was Marcin who invited me?! How could he...
"Then maybe... you could give me your number and next time I'll let you know in person?" With that question, he completely stopped the lump that had been building in my throat since I realized who I'd bumped into. My eyes widened in surprise. After a moment, I pretended to choke, and only when the "Attack," I blurted out dully,
"Yeah, sure." Marcin took out his cell phone and looked at me expectantly. I quickly gave him my number, twice mixing up the digits, which luckily I managed to correct. "Well, I'll call you as soon as I'm organizing some... party.
" "Great," I smiled, feeling like I'd made the biggest fool of myself in those few minutes. I hadn't even considered that I'd never accept any "invitation" anyway. First of all, I already have a boyfriend, and secondly, he wouldn't let me go to any "meeting" like that.
"Did you find my wallet?" he asked after a moment. I groaned a long, "uh," glancing into my purse. My hands were shaking.
"No... I think I left it at home...
" "So how did you buy the ticket?
" "Ticket...? Ah... It's no problem. I'll borrow money from my friends.
" "I see... Well, I won't keep you any longer," Marcin showed me a set of white teeth. "Go to that store, I'll wait here for Mom." I didn't even move. I stood there speechless. "Is something wrong?"
"No... nothing... for now." I turned and started in the other direction.
"Eh... Majka! The store is over there!" the boy shouted, pointing in the other direction. I stopped, realizing he was absolutely right. Suddenly, a door opened a little ahead of me, and Ola, Sandra, and Ulka jumped out. I breathed a sigh of relief, as it looked as if I had just met my friends.
"Where's that drink?" they asked, approaching. Marcin was a little behind me, so I didn't They couldn't have noticed it or associated it with me.
- I forgot my money...
"Did you forget? Oh my god... okay, I'll buy it... come on." Olka, as usual, started walking towards the store. As we passed Marcin, he watched us with a faint smile. The girls didn't pay the slightest attention.
"Good," I thought.
*
I'd been waiting all week, hoping he'd call. I kept checking my phone, and whenever someone sent me a text, I felt disappointed it wasn't from Marcin. Eventually, I caught myself thinking about him much more than other guys, much more than Kamil... On
Friday, I walked around like I was "lifted from the cross," and in the evening, I was in a foul mood like never before. I knew I'd have to spend this Saturday "moving" with Olka, Sandra, and Ula. As soon as we entered the cinema, I immediately remembered what had happened a week ago... I immediately started looking for Marcin... Unfortunately, he was nowhere to be seen. Exactly three days later, I had a terrible argument with Kamil. As usual, it was over some trivial matter. It all started when he'd upset me about something, and since we were sitting on a bench in front of the building, I told him straight up that I was bored with our daily "activity." He was incredibly outraged. He said that "any normal girl would be happy that her boyfriend was spending so much time with her, and sacrificing so much every evening."
"Sacrificing?" I shouted. "I think I'm the one sacrificing! I don't get any pleasure from it! And I'm not at all happy that you're spending so much time with me, because it means I don't have any space!
" "You're completely selfish!
" "No better than you!
" "I've had enough of your moods! And if you don't change that...
" "I have no intention of changing anything!" My mother appeared in the window just above us.
"Majka, what are you doing? Why are you shouting like that? I can hear you all the way home..." I collapsed onto the bench and crossed my arms in anger. I don't even know how I ended up standing there just a few seconds ago. "Stop..." my mother pleaded. "And be quiet...
" "Okay... we're sorry," Kamil said. I didn't even bat an eye. A moment later, the window closed, and we were stuck together again. I stubbornly didn't say a word.
"What's wrong with you...?" I didn't respond. I stared at the bench directly across from me and gritted my teeth. "God, girl, I don't understand you.
" "Too bad.
" "So what, are we going to argue all the time?
" "That's up to you.
" "I'm not the one who's changed. You've started having some sort of temper...
" "It's easiest to blame everything on the other person."
"Yes... you're right... and I see you're taking the easy way out," he said calmly, but I could feel him still trembling. "Maybe you have someone else, huh?" he asked uncertainly. I jumped up as if scalded and glared at him.
"Where did you get that idea?!
"I already had a girlfriend, and she acted the same way when she found someone else.
" "So what, you think I'm cheating on you, huh?
" "I don't know. That...
" "I think you know me well enough to know I'd never do that!" I started screaming again. "Man! What are you even talking about!
" "How am I supposed to know you're not just crazy?" he roared, equally annoyed. I looked at him in disbelief.
"I don't want to see you again," I hissed, then quickly disappeared through the stairwell door...
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