One night, quite recently, after returning from an evening journey, I went into the bathroom to light a cigarette, to oxygenate myself, to pave the asphalt road on my lungs leading straight to the other world. I knew—despite the slight buzzing in my head—that a carp was swimming in the bathtub. It had been swimming since noon. I didn't want to look at it. Why look at a fish? It's neither pretty, nor does it tickle the aesthetic sense. Maybe a goldfish, perhaps one that grants wishes—maybe it is, maybe it is pretty, yes, wonderful, magnificent—but a carp? A carp is a carp, damn it, it's a fish you don't ask for money, villas, cars, or whatever, but it's a fish you eat without asking unnecessary questions before you die. At least that's what I thought at the time... I pulled a devilishly black lighter from my left pocket, and a moment later, the flames flared. The bathroom filled with smoke. Smoking wasn't allowed in the house. The stench, the curtains turning yellow, the wallpaper turning yellow, the flowers falling—that's what my mother used to say. Like a prodigal son, but still perhaps not so bad, I tried to adapt... And so I smoked, watched my dull green eyes peering at me from the mirror, stared at my hair, glistening with drops that had been white flakes just a few minutes before, and which had apparently decided that they would do less harm if they landed on my long, soft locks than on the paving stones. I felt something strange, I didn't know what, some force, as if I heard a silent scream, as if some metaphysical being were determined to turn my head towards... What? Who? A carp, of course... Before I realized what was happening, I was staring at it, mesmerized by the grace of its movements. Compared to me, it was small, but for a fish, it was quite impressive. He was certainly quite the Casanova in the pond, to put it rather rudely, he was probably getting a bite. "Eryk," I heard, "Ryb Eryk." I didn't know if it was his first and last name, or a nickname written together... "Ryb Eryk or Ryberyk?" I wondered. And he was looking at me. He stopped in the water, gently waving his small fins, calibrating them so skillfully that he stayed in one place. He was still looking at me, his fishy eyes fixed on my face. I knew that from that moment on, we were friends. Friends for life and death, until the end, forever and ever.... I wanted to tell him how I spent that evening, I wanted to ask him about many things, for example about male-female relations among carp, about the life of their community, about their world, about the depths of lakes and ponds, entertainment, religion, economic matters, dreams and goals... I had almost done it when I heard one single word in my head that shook me to the core... "Save me!"... The echo carried it through my head, one word transformed into a hundred identical words, a hundred identical ones! I slowly inhaled my cigarette, trying to come up with a plan, to think about it,How to save (Fish)Eryk... "I'll buy him back from his father, buy him back, and release him into the nearby pond!" I stubbed out the cigarette, or rather what had once been a cigarette, threw it down the toilet, flushed it, and headed towards my parents' bedroom... I came to the conclusion that they wouldn't be happy if I woke them up in the middle of the night because of a fish. They wouldn't understand that he was my friend, that you don't kill your children's friends, they certainly wouldn't understand that their children's friends, even if they were fish, should be their friends. So what if this child had already turned eighteen—even if he were thirty, he would always be their child, and his friends should be treated well at home... Well, my head was spinning more and more, my thoughts were tangled, confused, fading away... Standing in front of my room, I waved towards the bathroom and then headed off into the vast realms of the dream world... The next day, I got up several hours later. A steady, throbbing headache reminded me of what had happened that evening and what had happened in the bathroom. "(Fish)Eryk!" The sun illuminated the entire room. I jumped to my feet like a shipwrecked person on a raft who saw the outline of land. I rushed toward the bathroom. I was frozen, rooted to the spot. If Lot had seen me at that moment, he would probably have shouted with tears in his eyes, "My wife, my wife!" Filled with the worst forebodings, I shuffled to the kitchen... He was there, already there... Headless, in several pieces... My world collapsed, shattered... I quietly whispered the name of my friend, whom my father had murdered in cold blood and with a clear conscience... From that moment on, nothing has been the same, the world has never been the same... I, too, am different... It was the worst Christmas of my short life... I lost a friend during it, whom my entire family ate... And they had the nerve to wonder why I wasn't eating? I looked at their moving jaws, at the pieces of (Fish)Eryk that they pulled out every now and then from their mouths, sadness gripped my insides, I fought back the tears, I felt like vomiting... Since that moment, so memorable for me, I haven't eaten carp, and every Christmas I associate only with my dearly missed friend, whom I never had the chance to meet... with (Fish)Eryk... I can't even light a candle for him, he wasn't even buried... To the family, to those people without feelings!, I will never, never!, forgive this... this... disgusting act of cannibalism!That this child had already turned eighteen—even if it were thirty, it would always be their child, and its friends should be treated well at home... Well, my head was spinning more and more, my thoughts were tangled, confused, fading away... Standing in front of my room, I waved towards the bathroom and then headed off into the vast realms of the dream world... The next day, I woke up several hours later. A steady, throbbing headache reminded me of what had happened that evening and what had happened in the bathroom. "(Fish)Eryk!" The sun illuminated the entire room. I jumped to my feet like a shipwrecked man on a raft who saw the outline of land. I rushed towards the bathroom. I was frozen, rooted to the spot. If Lot had seen me at that moment, he probably would have shouted with tears in his eyes, "My wife, my wife!" Full of the worst premonitions, I shuffled to the kitchen... He was there, he was already there... Headless, in several pieces... My world collapsed, shattered into pieces... I whispered quietly the name of my friend, whom my father had murdered in cold blood and with a clear conscience... From that moment on, nothing was the same, the world was no longer the same... I, too, was different... It was the worst Christmas of my short life... I lost a friend during it, and my whole family ate him... And they had the nerve to wonder why I wasn't eating? I looked at their moving jaws, at the pieces of (Fish)Eryk that they pulled out every now and then from their mouths, sadness gripped my insides, I fought back the tears, I felt like vomiting... Since that moment, so memorable for me, I haven't eaten carp, and every Christmas I associate only with my dearly missed friend, whom I never had the chance to meet... with (Fish)Eryk... I can't even light a candle for him, he wasn't even buried... To the family, to those people without feelings!, I will never, never!, forgive this... this... disgusting act of cannibalism!That this child had already turned eighteen—even if it were thirty, it would always be their child, and its friends should be treated well at home... Well, my head was spinning more and more, my thoughts were tangled, confused, fading away... Standing in front of my room, I waved towards the bathroom and then headed off into the vast realms of the dream world... The next day, I woke up several hours later. A steady, throbbing headache reminded me of what had happened that evening and what had happened in the bathroom. "(Fish)Eryk!" The sun illuminated the entire room. I jumped to my feet like a shipwrecked man on a raft who saw the outline of land. I rushed towards the bathroom. I was frozen, rooted to the spot. If Lot had seen me at that moment, he probably would have shouted with tears in his eyes, "My wife, my wife!" Full of the worst premonitions, I shuffled to the kitchen... He was there, he was already there... Headless, in several pieces... My world collapsed, shattered into pieces... I whispered quietly the name of my friend, whom my father had murdered in cold blood and with a clear conscience... From that moment on, nothing was the same, the world was no longer the same... I, too, was different... It was the worst Christmas of my short life... I lost a friend during it, and my whole family ate him... And they had the nerve to wonder why I wasn't eating? I looked at their moving jaws, at the pieces of (Fish)Eryk that they pulled out every now and then from their mouths, sadness gripped my insides, I fought back the tears, I felt like vomiting... Since that moment, so memorable for me, I haven't eaten carp, and every Christmas I associate only with my dearly missed friend, whom I never had the chance to meet... with (Fish)Eryk... I can't even light a candle for him, he wasn't even buried... To the family, to those people without feelings!, I will never, never!, forgive this... this... disgusting act of cannibalism!From that moment on, nothing has been the same, the world has been different... I, too, am different... It was the worst Christmas of my short life... I lost a friend during that time, eaten by my entire family... And they had the nerve to wonder why I wasn't eating? I watched their jaws move, the pieces of (Fish)Eryk they pulled from their mouths every now and then, sadness gripped my insides, I fought back the tears, I felt like vomiting... Since that moment, so memorable for me, I haven't eaten carp, and every Christmas is associated only with my dearly missed friend, whom I never had the chance to meet... with (Fish)Eryk... I can't even light a candle for him, he wasn't even buried... I will never, never forgive my family, those people without feelings! This... this... disgusting act of cannibalism!From that moment on, nothing has been the same, the world has been different... I, too, am different... It was the worst Christmas of my short life... I lost a friend during that time, eaten by my entire family... And they had the nerve to wonder why I wasn't eating? I watched their jaws move, the pieces of (Fish)Eryk they pulled from their mouths every now and then, sadness gripped my insides, I fought back the tears, I felt like vomiting... Since that moment, so memorable for me, I haven't eaten carp, and every Christmas is associated only with my dearly missed friend, whom I never had the chance to meet... with (Fish)Eryk... I can't even light a candle for him, he wasn't even buried... I will never, never forgive my family, those people without feelings! This... this... disgusting act of cannibalism!
Arthur.
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