Autumn in tears and Him :)**

A quarrel. We start the next day with a quarrel. Mom screams, I cry. These arguments are driving us further and further apart. Doesn't she see it? I so want her to be my dream mom – my best friend.

She writes more words in her diary: "I've had enough, this isn't my strength..."

I leave, slamming the door. I want to talk to someone. I need it so badly right now. Ilona's gone – English, Kamila's at Grandma's. Who else can I go to? Gośka? Kinga? No…there's no one left. I go to the park. Such a beautiful autumn. I'll think it over, talk to Mom. I want to tell her how much I love her; she hasn't heard me say that in so long.

Me too. But that's less important, as long as everything is okay.

I sit alone on a bench. The first tear… the second… a whole cloud of tears. I didn't want to cry, but I can't control it. A group of boys walks by. I wipe my tears away, embarrassed. One of them noticed. He looked at me for a long time. Concentrated. He had such a soothing gaze. And I was left alone again, against the backdrop of yellowed, colorful leaves. I buried my head in my hands and cried. I wanted to shed all those tears of bitterness and pain. Sometimes I'm afraid hatred for my own mother would grow inside me. That's why I prefer to be empty inside.

"Don't cry, please!

" "

Marcin, I am. Don't cry anymore, you're so beautiful, tears disfigure you.

" "I'm not beautiful at all."

I was so confused. "Am I beautiful?" It was the first time I'd ever heard those words. And suddenly he wiped my tears. Gently. Then he kissed me. Shocked, I stood up and ran away. I felt it was the stupidest thing they could do, but I couldn't help it. I knew I'd regret it, despite everything; a moment later I was home.

**

I saw her. The one, the one of my dreams. I was walking with friends. As we were walking back through the park, she was sitting alone, crying. She noticed us and wiped her tears. She looked at me as if she knew I wanted to soothe her pain with my eyes. I knew she was suffering. I just didn't know why. A moment later, I left my friends and ran to her. I just prayed she was still there.

She was. Well, they always told me I was lucky. She sat in the same place, still grieving. She looked so beautiful against the backdrop of those colorful leaves. From then on, I loved autumn, and her too. It's ridiculous, I didn't know her, and I felt something I'd never felt before. But that's how it was. No philosophy. You'll feel it someday too. I went up to her, introduced myself, and asked her not to cry anymore. She was beautiful in those tears, but I didn't want to see her like that. I wanted to remember her beautiful and smiling. So I wiped her tears away. I couldn't control myself. I know I shouldn't, but I kissed her. Like a first kiss. The taste of saltwater in my mouth. She ran away... How could I have made such a mistake? By then, I loved her more than anything in the world

.

He found me. A day later, he was waiting outside the stairwell. I don't know how, I didn't ask. I just thanked God that he found me, that he is and will be.

**

I found her. It doesn't matter how. The important thing is that she was mine. Forever.

2 months later.

"Hello, my wonderful diary. I'm happy. Two months have passed so quickly. I wish I could stop time because I know my happiness has to end someday.

And me and my mom? We still argue. Only now I try harder. And I have him. He helps in difficult situations like no friend.

God, thank you for him. He promised forever. I promised him too. Now you promise us the same.

I LOVE LIFE!"