She knew he was only a split second away from an outburst of hysteria. He glared at her, his insides boiling. And she took nothing but satisfaction in it. Yes, she enjoyed his anger.
She'd once read in a newspaper that the worst betrayal a man could commit was physical betrayal. And that was exactly what she'd done. She'd slept with another man. His friend, at that…
With an ironic smile, she sat down on the bench and stared at her boyfriend as if nothing had happened. Meanwhile, he, red with anger, paced back and forth, clearly composing what he had to say to her. Even though she had a huge wound in her heart, she tried to cover it up in every way possible. She didn't want him to know how much she was suffering. She didn't want to admit to herself how much what he'd done had hurt her…
"You're a bitch, you know that?!" he finally shouted, with such energy that the seemingly innocent and helpless blonde jumped.
"But not yours anymore..." she whispered in response with a nasty smile. She stared at him with those beautiful blue eyes of hers, just waiting to hurt him even more, even more deeply...
"And I loved you..."
"Oh yeah? And was this one... called Monika...? Or Marta...? Did you even know her name? Nooooo... why?" The girl stood up and began circling the brunette. "What difference does her name make, as long as she's a good kisser...
" "Oh fuck, I was drunk, get this!
" "I was drunk too.
" "But you slept with my friend!" he roared, barely restraining himself from hitting the girl. An old woman passing by looked at the young couple with obvious indignation. The boy calmed down a bit and turned towards the pond. The blonde approached him, threw her arms around his neck, and leaned into his ear, whispering provocatively:
"...and it was wonderful..." The boy pushed her away with such force that she almost fell over, colliding with the desk. Instead of resentment or an outburst of anger, the girl smiled triumphantly, feeling that she would win this round without the slightest problem.
"You used to be different, what happened to you..." His gaze was filled with regret and disgust.
"I've changed. Honey, YOU changed me. You showed me what fun, breaking rules, sex... Now I'll show you what a clever student I am.
" "You're just a stupid whore..."
"Yes... but remember one thing... NOT YOURS ANYMORE...
"
Turning up the volume, she sat on the wide, wooden windowsill and, humming softly, watched the children playing in the nearby square. She had once been cheerful… innocent… and now…? Now she was flirting with just anyone to make her boyfriend jealous, who, by the way, wasn't faithful to her. She had a habit… she'd been smoking for a year… maybe two… Remembering her beloved Iryska cigarettes, she jumped up and forcefully flung open one of the cabinets where she kept her cigarettes. She took matches from the desk drawer. Opening the window a crack, she sat back down on the windowsill and lit a thin, white Iryska. Mint… because that was her favorite.
"Tell me how many more stars will fall
Before we guess the night
How many hearts will the old world carry
Before it turns to dust
Tell me what words to use
To stop human tears
How many more truths must be discovered
To truly begin to live
The world flickered with a thousand colors
The wind blew a thousand new questions
The sun shines at night The moon by day
More and more people, fewer and fewer of us
Save me before I lose faith in meaning
Tell me how to protect good dreams
From the bright light of day
What strength must one have
To bounce back from the bottom
Tell me how to overcome anger
And become better
Where to go when there is nowhere to go
And where to find hope
The world flickered with a thousand colors..."
She had had enough of it all. She was beautiful... sociable... well-liked. She was perfect. But deep down she felt hopeless and burned out. Yes, burned out... She hadn't been truly happy for a long time. She inhaled deeply and looked once more at the children playing outside the window. She had once been a child too... A real, joyful rascal. And now...? It was unknown when she had become just a poor copy human... She became an artificial, idealized Miriam.
*
She rubbed her sleepy eyes and sat up, trying to wake up. Pink "teddy bear" slippers lay side by side next to the bed. Like a princess, she gently slipped her feet into them and stood up, heading towards the open door. She had had enough of her mother's calls and finally decided to give in.
"You'll never make it again..." the woman hissed as her rebellious daughter passed the kitchen. The girl merely snorted indifferently, then stepped into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. She disliked this room and tried to spend as little time in it as possible. The cold, blue tiles created an unpleasant, gloomy atmosphere, and the single window was always adorned with cold-gray blinds. With a single movement, she turned on the bright light above the mirror and reached for her toothbrush. She felt miserable. As if she carried some burden, some terrible guilt. And yet, in truth, she had done nothing wrong... She had paid him back handsomely. He should be the one tormenting himself now... She quickly rinsed the stinging toothpaste from her mouth and wiped it with a soft, fragrant towel. From her colorful cosmetic bag, she pulled out a few 'tools' that, like every morning, would restore her face to perfection, and then approached the mirror. Leaving the house was the last thing she wanted to do right now. Moreover, she'd been feeling awful ever since she opened her eyes. She squeezed a little foundation onto her finger and spread it over her face with familiar precision. Then powder, a touch of light eyeshadow, mascara…
"Miriam, get the hell out of that bathroom! Not only will you be late for school, but your father won't make it to work…!" Her mother's shouting didn't faze the girl in the slightest. She rolled her crystal blue eyes in resignation and once again ran a hand through her light blonde hair. "No one would rush her. A real woman wouldn't leave the house until she'd perfected every part of her body." A loud knock on the door reached the girl's ears.
"Now!" she announced in a raised voice, putting down the brush. A last glance at her reflection in the mirror, smoothing a stray lock of hair…
"You have your second breakfast," Mom handed Miriam a silver-wrapped sandwich and, as she left the kitchen, added, "A hot cappuccino is waiting for you on the table. "
*
"You know, strange…" Two almost identical blondes took seats on one of the empty benches in front of the school. "…it's been so long, and he hasn't found a single girl. He always did that to make me jealous. Over a week has passed, and he hasn't gone out with any new girls…" Miriam turned her head toward the school exit, seeing more and more people exiting. A few seconds later, the girls heard the bell announcing the beginning of break.
"And there… David isn't like that," the second blonde announced, pulling a small bottle of water from her backpack.
"Isn't he!? He's not like that?! Oh, you're wrong, and you're wrong…
" "Okay, but maybe he's changed.
" "Yeah, and the rabbits are chirping!"
- You've been distancing yourself from him lately and you might not have noticed it - the girl took a large sip, tilting her head back.
"Kaja, what are you talking about... Did I step aside?" Miriam looked questioningly at her companion, who merely nodded, making a very wise, reasoning face. "Who told you such nonsense? Him? Were you talking to Dawid?!?" The girl glared at her friend indignantly.
"No, I wasn't..." the blonde replied, blushing slightly. "Those are my personal observations...
" "Then you should start wearing glasses. You're seeing something that isn't there."
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