The Unfinished Story of the Girl Without a Name

"What happened?" she asked after a moment.

"No, nothing," I replied reluctantly, turning my head away so she wouldn't see the tears that were involuntarily welling up in my eyes.

"I can see something's wrong."

"Okay," I thought. "You can't hide anything from her."

For a moment, I hesitated to say anything. But she seemed to know my thoughts and said,

"Come on, tell me, it'll be easier for you to get it out."

At that moment, she hugged me tightly. This was exactly what I needed. The crying I'd been holding back turned into quiet sobs. She noticed and patted my shoulder. When I looked into her blue eyes, which were also glistening with tears, I felt my throat tighten even more.

"So, are you going to tell me or not?" I could hear the impatience in her voice.

"I'm... I'm telling you," I choked back a sob.

"Listen, take your time. Tell me everything from the beginning.

" "Well..." I didn't know where to begin.

This time, she practically forced me to talk.

"Do you remember how I told you about Aga?

" "Well... yes."

"So, I'll tell you the whole story from the beginning."

**********************************************************

I met her as I was escaping from home. It was dark. Tears were streaming down my face. The illuminated clock on the train station building showed midnight. Here and there, I could see the wandering silhouettes of people. They were tourists, tired workers just getting home. I sat down on one of the benches in the waiting room. My heavy backpack was bothering my back, so I dropped it with relief onto the dirty tiles. The stench of cigarettes was everywhere.

When a spot opened up in the ticket line, I left my backpack and, with a trembling hand, tried to find the wad of money I'd earned during the first two weeks of vacation. I finally found it. I leaned over the ticket window.

"Please?" the kind woman was waiting for my request for a ticket.

But I didn't know where I wanted to go. My mother's words kept echoing in my head: "I'm sick of you in this house!" Right? If you're sick of me, I'll leave, I thought. I didn't know those words would one day come true. They were coming true at that very moment.

"Please?" The woman's voice sounded a little impatient and effectively snapped me out of my reverie.

"When's the next train...?" I hesitated for a moment. "

Where would you like to go? "

"As far away as possible."

My words sounded strange, and the ticket agent looked at me with obvious confusion.

"When's the next train to Warsaw or Krakow?" I retorted.

"Krakow is 1 a.m., and Warsaw is in 15 minutes.

Fine, I'll take this to Warsaw, and we'll see from there.

" "Then Warsaw, please."

-51.15 PLN.

I glanced at the small wad of cash. After a moment's thought, I paid. The ticket agent looked at me suspiciously, but I pretended not to notice. I collected my ticket and went to the platform where the train was to depart.

A girl stood against the wall. She was dressed in black, her hair dyed the same color. Her skin was pale, almost frighteningly pale, as if it were about to melt. She looked lost. Her overstuffed backpack caught my eye. Hmm, strange, she must be going far away.

When I looked away, the train was already at the platform. For a moment I hesitated whether to get on, but finally I took a decisive step forward and repeated in my mind: "Finally, you all wanted this!"

The train was almost empty. Who travels by train at this hour, anyway? Only me. Slightly frightened, I entered the first compartment I found. I sat down and put my backpack under the seat. The train hadn't started yet; I could have gotten off. But I didn't want to get off, I just wanted to get as far away from here as possible. The first stop was Warsaw.

I lifted my head from my cell phone and looked at the slightly dirty window. The city was lit only by street lamps. There were still lights on in a few windows. I wonder what people are still doing? I wonder what my mother, father, and brother are doing? It was the first time I'd thought about my family in this way. My mother didn't know anything. She thought I was sleeping over at a friend's. I wasn't supposed to be back until tomorrow evening. By this time, I'd be far away from here. I don't know exactly where I was. I don't know what would happen during the journey. And what am I even looking for on the train at this hour? Maybe myself? I turned off the phone. I grabbed my cell phone and tucked it deep into my backpack. I made myself a pillow out of a warm fleece and leaned against the window. I stared at the outlines of the trees near the train station. I looked a little higher. The moon's sphere faintly illuminated my face. A star twinkled as if trying to comfort me. But no one could do that right now.