Birth

It was a very pleasant day. The sun caressed her cheeks with its warm rays. The world was teeming with life. Trees with lush green leaves were adorned with colorful buds of future flowers. Somewhere in the distance, the chirping of birds and the buzzing of insects resounded, a profusion of which swarmed on this June morning. Małgorzata felt good, even though she was close to giving birth. The springtime mood intensified this. She gazed pensive out the window and pondered. However, two months earlier, she hadn't been so joyful. She had been going through a difficult time. She hadn't gone anywhere, and the thought of giving birth paralyzed her. The melting snow outside and nature slowly waking up made her depressed. She agonized over whether she would cope, whether she would be able to be a good mother, whether she was ready? Her fears vanished with the snow.

Now, she wanted nothing more than to finally hold her little one. She didn't know if she was carrying a boy or a girl. She only had a hunch, but she didn't tell anyone. She wanted to see for herself if her intuition would be right.

The due date was June 25th. The days dragged on mercilessly. Despite it being 1980 and difficult times, she didn't give up. During the pregnancy, she didn't interrupt her studies. She only rescheduled a few exams. She believed she and Robert would somehow manage. Dark thoughts replaced those full of optimism and hope. She didn't actually know when this change had occurred. It just happened so suddenly, without warning! It had burst upon her as unexpectedly as the greenery outside the window. She thought she was as if fused with nature. She felt an inseparable part of it. The seasons seemed to influence her, dictating her moods. Spring, therefore, awakened her to life and made everything around her seem more beautiful than ever. The thought of impending motherhood made her slightly impatient, which grew stronger with each passing day.

The future father was also still studying, but part-time. He had moved to have more time for work. He earned his living by painting. Now he sat in a large studio, at a drawing table full of paint jars and brushes scattered about. He was painting a small town with cats on the roofs of colorful houses. He was happy about the birth. He loved children, though few of his friends had children of their own yet.

Still lost in thought, Małgorzata gazed out the window from her small room. She spent a lot of time there now, reading or leafing through albums by great artists. She adored Picasso and Witkacy. As an art history student, she had to be able to connect every painting to its era. This, however, wasn't difficult for her. She had been interested in art from a young age. Her parents had graduated from drama school, so she had been exposed to it almost forever. Impatient, Małgorzata figured she would give birth today, despite the doctor's prognosis. Suddenly, at noon on a Tuesday in June 1980, she felt her first contraction. Robert, despite his natural absent-mindedness, found a shred of common sense and called his mother at the hospital, where she was the director.

Half an hour later, Małgorzata was in the delivery room. Unfortunately, in those days, fathers couldn't "give birth" together with their wives, despite the greatest protections. Rules... So, Małgorzata gave birth surrounded by the unfamiliar faces of the hospital staff. The absence of a familiar face on such an important day didn't dampen her spirits. She felt no sadness or disappointment. She was focused on the extraordinary nature of the moment. The awareness of the miracle that was now unfolding consumed her completely. She couldn't hide her emotion and overwhelming happiness. Tears streamed down her cheeks. Amidst the vast, swirling emotions, she felt as if intoxicated. She didn't notice the pain. She knew she was somewhere, in the background, far away, in the background. She cried when she heard the baby's first cry and when she cradled her daughter's wrinkled body. She whispered to herself with pride that she knew! She knew it would be a girl! She even had a name for her. She named her firstborn Klaudynka. She didn't think twice about the name. It came to her immediately! She had been reading Colette since before her pregnancy, but recently returned to "Claudine." She loved all of her adventures. She thought the heroine had a beautiful name and would give it to her daughter.

And so I became Claudine. Today, I'm often compared to the one in Colette's novels. Why? Hmm... that's another story, which I might tell someday.