Trepanation

 

It all began on a beautiful, sunny morning. I was lying in Orpheus's arms as warmth slowly enveloped my blanket-wrapped body. The sun was gently creeping into my room through the window, revealing the ruins of the last party. It gave me an incredible sense of security. I felt like a baby in its mother's womb. I snuggled even closer into the fresh sheets. My eyes, glued shut by the darkness that had previously enveloped the room, were practically impossible to open. I fought with all my might against the rays, which with each passing moment were drawing closer to my nostrils. But waking up was becoming increasingly inevitable. And then there was that itchy nose that had been haunting me since yesterday. It felt swollen and red from constant scratching. I began to wonder: should I get up, or should I cover my entire body with the frame, pretending to be a hibernating moth? Maybe it would protect me from the sun, but what could I do about those birds chirping and burrowing into my head? They'd been sang their serenades all morning. Under different circumstances, I'd probably be thrilled by their chirping. However, my aching head and hangover wouldn't allow it. I'll delay a little longer, I thought. I'll roll over and nuzzle my head into the pillow, which is always cooler on this side. What an incredible experience. A smile immediately spread across my face. I could lie there forever, not thinking about anything. What good is it when all good things always end too quickly? The pillow on that side also grew warm, blurring the entire beautiful experience. The sun's rays became increasingly insistent. I had to get up. My heavy body and gravity, however, had other ideas. Finally, I managed to get myself upright. I sat down on the couch, rubbing my face with my limp hands. It was as if I wasn't sure if it was really me. Everything was clear now. It was still that disgusting face that always irritates me when I look in the mirror. Unfortunately, you can't choose a face; you can only bruise it by banging your head against a wall in anger. My eyelids were sticking together, refusing to let me rest. Maybe I could attach them to my eyebrows with pins. That's a bit too drastic, even for me. So, all I had to do was wash them out with water, except the bathroom was so far away. Then there was the trash and the bodies of the partygoers lying everywhere. I didn't recognize most of them at all; I couldn't even remember how they'd ended up at this party. In the very corner of the room, someone had left some of the previous night's undigested food. I don't know why everyone always chooses this place to puke. It seemed to have become a tradition, as had the fact that someone would have to clean it up. I finally got to my feet, and the world spun. Apparently, the liquid I'd consumed was still working. I looked around the room again to make sure I was home. There was little to indicate otherwise. Only a copy of a Beksiński painting,Someone had pierced it with a pen, reminding me of my belonging here. Perhaps someone had suddenly realized that the world was just one big hallucination. But why had they used a picture hanging on my wall? I slowly moved toward the bathroom. Suddenly, I felt one of my socks getting damp. Oh no, not that. Someone must have peed on the carpet again. She couldn't stand it anymore. Especially not me, when I had to smell the stench coming from it. After a moment, I breathed a sigh of relief. But that wasn't it, the room was completely flooded, and water was constantly seeping out of the open bathroom door. Better that than the smell of urine. I had to get there quickly and turn off the tap. I quickened my pace, careful of the beer bottles scattered everywhere. I just hoped no one drowned in the bathtub, as they often did in the movies. Suddenly, I heard a beeping sound coming from under my foot. Damn, I screamed. As it turned out, I'd stepped on the body of a friend who squealed like a rubber duck. However, he quickly, completely ignoring me, rolled over and began snoring as usual. I'd better leave him alone. He doesn't look so good with a peacock at his side anyway. Right next to him was a girl, stripped to the waist. It looked as if someone had suddenly stopped time and left them in this unpleasant moment. Waking up would probably be an even stranger experience for them than for me. Especially since they didn't like each other terribly. I'd even say they hated each other—God only knows what had caused them to end up next to each other, caressing each other's naked bodies. Out of the corner of my eye, I glanced at the exit door. It was lying on its side. Someone, unaware and drunk, must have forced it open. It was a wonder no one had come in here in the early morning and robbed everyone. What could they have taken? A few bottles that were worthless. It didn't matter to me now. I can't change anything; I can only turn off the tap so it doesn't get any worse. The faucet. I'd completely forgotten about it. The water slowly drenched the partygoers, who, aroused by the cold, began to rise like zombies smelling fresh blood. The sounds of grumbling and humming filled the room. Meanwhile, I turned to the bathroom. Water filled the entire bathtub. It dripped over the edges, crashing onto the tiled floor. Luckily, no one was in it. All I needed was a police presence, examining a dead body. I turned off the water and stared at the rippling surface. I reflected myself in it like a mirror. It seemed so real that I decided to check if I was on the other side. I dipped my head into the tub. But there was no other Hubert there. The cool water, however, brought me immense joy. When I pulled it out, water began to drip down my body. Now I was wet from head to toe. I still had to fill my alcohol-dried stomach. It sounded like a flock of frogs had nested there.I scooped up some water and forced it into my mouth, as if seeing water for the first time in my life. It gave me immense pleasure. At that same moment, the closed shower screen caught my attention. I walked over to it and with a quick movement of my hand, grabbing a few frogs in the process, pushed it aside. My intuition, however, was right. A woman's limp body hung from the tube. Her face was literally purple from the belt tightening around her neck. Well, that's it, I thought, and woke up in my room, where everything was perfectly tidy and orderly.