I sat in a plush swivel chair, staring at the monitor on my desk in my office for another hour. Exhaustion was taking its toll, I kept closing my eyes, and the movie kept cutting out.
Suddenly, I remembered the meeting the moment I glanced at my digital watch. "Oh my God! It's so late," I thought. As usual, I'd overstayed my welcome.
A few minutes later, I found myself in front of the building, walked to my luxury car, and drove off as quickly as possible.
I wondered what I'd say to her next. My girlfriend had never been angry with me, even when I was late for our get-togethers. She waited with fancy dinners, and I worked. "I'll be back soon"—I'd call her and, of course, forget. And she waited with tears in her eyes. Something was going wrong. Because of me? No, I work! I give her a shitload of money—for dresses, shoes—she has everything she wants. The fact that I'm often gone—well, that's just a side effect of my ideal life plan. Ever since I was a kid, I've told myself that the most important thing is your career. You only have one life, and no one will do it better for you. You have to do it yourself.
I worked for a huge marketing company—Pabloid and Work. That name was invented by advertising specialists. Shitty assholes who make a fortune for their work. But our products sell better.
Last year, my company decided to make a bigger investment. We wanted to buy land and build a supermarket on it. A small town outside Warsaw—the perfect place to build a large store where people could buy everything they wanted. And a supermarket, of course, means huge profits. More money...
How are you driving, you idiot? I had the right of way. Who gave you your license?
A driver swerved and screeched into the street right in front of me. I had to brake hard, otherwise there would have been an accident.
A few minutes later, I stopped at a flower shop. This was where I always bought flowers for Ania. I'd take a beautiful bouquet of red roses and hand it to my girlfriend. Her anger always subsided. Then we had a candlelit dinner and chatted.
I parked the car, closed the door, and walked purposefully to the flower shop.
"Good morning, Mrs. Halinka," I greeted the saleswoman I knew well. This very kind woman was well over sixty. We often spoke. If it weren't for her grandmotherly advice, I probably would have broken up with Ania several times already.
"Oh, Paweł. Here again?" A radiant, sincere smile appeared on her face. "What have you done to poor Ania again?
" "I've been too late at work again. You know how it is when you work and work and suddenly you realize it's so late," I explained.
"Oh, Paweł. I've told you so many times, you work way too hard," she said, taking the roses off the shelf and preparing the bouquet.
"I know, I know. But I really didn't want to be late today; I was about to get ready, but unfortunately..." I still wouldn't give up.
"Okay, Paweł," the guilty one explains. "Flowers won't solve your problems. Remember that. Do something with your life. Here," she handed me the packed bouquet, and I handed her a banknote.
"Okay, goodbye, Mrs. Halinka," I said goodbye.
"Take care of yourself, Paweł," she said, placing her hand on my shoulder.
I left the flower shop and headed for the car.
Suddenly, my cell phone rang.
"Hello, Ania. Hi, I'm on my way..." I started the conversation when I heard her voice.
"Paweł, I'm going to my parents'," she told me.
"But how? We were supposed to meet..." I didn't understand her decision.
"An hour ago. I can't wait any longer, I'll call you, bye," she said. I could hear the nervousness in her voice. Probably at me.
Great, simply great. So why did I buy those flowers? I'm not giving them to anyone else. What other reason could there be? I have to throw them away.
I have no choice but to get back to work.
I turned and headed for the trash can by the flower shop. Suddenly, I bumped into a woman.
"Sorry, I was lost in thought," I responded immediately.
"I'm the one who's sorry." She was searching for something in her purse.
We both looked up at each other. We were utterly surprised by our chance encounter.
"Monika?! It's been ages!" I exclaimed, immediately hugging her.
"Paweł, what a meeting!" she hugged back.
After a moment, I released her and looked at her.
"You look beautiful as always," I commented.
"Thank you, as always, you compliment me," she said with a beautiful, sincere smile. I liked him so much, he was so sweet. I hadn't seen him in so long...
Candles lit the room, and the beautiful scent of flowers in a vase filled the room. The moon was tapping through the window, eager to share its light with Monika and me.
We sat across from each other in chairs at the table. She was so happy. She smiled and laughed, radiating happiness.
"I love you, my dear," I said in a warm voice.
"I love you too," she said, never taking her eyes off me.
She rose from her chair and approached me. The smile still lingered on her face. She sat on my lap.
"You're so heavy," I joked. "A five-ton elephant.
" "He turned out to be a very thin one," she reciprocated.
We fell into a passionate, long kiss. Her lips were so moist, so romantic, I felt her inside me, she was a part of me.
I asked her to stand, and after a moment, I did the same.
"Sit down, sweetie, I have something to tell you," I told her.
"Oh, gosh, I'm already scared," she replied, still bursting with humor.
I took a small box from my pocket and knelt before her.
"I've never known anyone more beautiful than you, you're everything to me, and the world isn't the same without you." I began to utter beautiful, memorable words. "I love you and I want to be with you for the rest of my life. Will you marry me?" I asked, my heart pounding like a giant bell.
Monika turned into a pillar of salt. The smile vanished from her face.
"Paweł, I don't know what to say," she whispered. Tears began to flow from her eyes. Tears of happiness.
"Say yes," I said, feeling moved too.
"Of course, I'll marry you." I love you, she regained her composure and smiled again.
We kissed again. She told me to stand up, and I placed the engagement ring I'd taken from the box on her finger. She cried, revealing her most beautiful smile...
"Paweł, are you alive?" Monika brought me back to reality.
"Yes, sorry, I was lost in thought," I explained.
"I think that's the second time today," she laughed.
"Yes, but tell me, how are you doing? We haven't seen each other for almost four years," I smiled. "I think it was the first time today.
" "Everything's fine. I moved back to Warsaw last week," she told me.
"And besides that? Do you work?" I wanted to know everything.
"It's a long story. Maybe we can meet up sometime and talk," she suggested.
"How about we go to a café and have a cup of coffee together? They make a really good one nearby," I tried to convince her.
"Well, why not? I have some free time," she agreed.
"Great," I remarked. "Come in my car."
We drove to a café and sat at one of the tables by the window. We ordered two cafe lattes and two small cakes.
"So tell me what's changed for you," I asked her.
"That's what I said, I returned to Warsaw last week. I rented an apartment not far from here and found a job as a secretary in some office. I have to make a living somehow," she explained.
"Well, yes, that's obvious. But why did you come back? Did something happen?" I looked at her seriously.
"I got kicked out of my apartment in Łódź. I also lost my job, so I went back to my old place. And how did you live these last four years?" she changed the subject.
"I worked at a marketing company. I have a house, a car, I'm not complaining..." I said.
"Do you have anyone?" she asked me.
"Yes... I mean, no. I'm alone," I lied.
"So who were you buying flowers for?" Her question caught me completely off guard.
"For a friend of mine, it's her name day today," I came up with a lame excuse.
"She's probably waiting for you, and I'm taking up your time," she said.
"That's not true, I'm not supposed to be at her place until tonight," I explained to Monica.
"Is it a date?" she asked.
"No, there will be a few other people besides us. It's just a regular get-together where we'll talk and reminisce," I lied, lied.
We chatted for a while longer, quite pleasantly.
"Unfortunately, I have to go now. I still have a lot of things to do at home," this statement sent a pang through my heart.
"Well, yes. At least let me drive you home," I persuaded her.
"Okay, if you insist. It's not far anyway," she agreed.
I paid the bill, left the café, and went to my car. We started driving.
Monika, I'd seen her again. How amazing. But she probably has someone else. I was afraid to ask. It's normal; I can't just think about myself. She has her own life, that's obvious. I shouldn't expect her to wait for me for four years. I also have a woman – Ania. We've been together for a few months.
But there's something about Monika... I don't know how to say it, I can't describe it, but it's something beautiful, special.
I looked at her. I noticed we'd been silent for a while. She had a serious expression, not laughing. She was staring straight ahead, seemingly lost in thought. I looked a little lower, at her hand. As always, her nails were painted, adding a touch of class. I looked around without looking at the road. I hoped she might still be wearing the ring I'd given her...
Monika was packing her things into a large bag. She was wearing a flowing red dress. I looked at her stonily; she didn't smile. On the contrary, she was angry. I knew her behavior.
This was the end of our almost two-year relationship. We had such a good time together, but all beautiful things must come to an end.
"That's all..." Monika began.
"If there's anything left," I interrupted her, "I'll deliver it to you by courier."
"Thank you, but that's the least you can do for me," she emphasized.
"Don't start, please," I said.
"I'm not starting, I'm finishing, Paweł. I'm finishing," she corrected me
. I walked up to her and shook her hand. I looked at her seriously.
"Monika, you don't have to leave..." I began again.
"Paweł, we've already talked about this. There's no other way. I can't go on like this, I can't, and I don't want to," she said with emotion.
"We were so good together..." I tried to convince her.
"You were right—it was, but it isn't," she corrected.
"Monika..." I whispered.
"Stop it," she shouted, and let go of my hand. She pulled something out of her pocket. "Here you go." She handed me the engagement ring I'd given her a few months earlier.
"Why are you giving this to me? The ring belongs to you," I didn't understand.
"Not anymore, I don't want it to remind me of you. Keep it," she said seriously.
She grabbed her bag and walked to the door.
"I'll help you," I approached her.
"No need, Paweł. I'll manage, besides, the taxi is waiting," she said.
She opened the door and stood in the doorway.
"Hi, Paweł," she said goodbye.
I didn't answer. The sound of the door closing lingered in my ears for the next few minutes. I stared blankly, unable to believe Monika was gone. It was my fault. It was all my fault.
I went to the bar, grabbed a glass and a bottle of whiskey...
We arrived at Monika's apartment building .
"Thank you for the ride," she said.
"You're welcome, I hope we'll see each other again," I said.
"I hope so too. See you later," she said.
Monika got out and went into the apartment building. I looked around, watching her disappear from my sight. I stood there for a moment, reflecting and thinking about her. I'm so glad I saw her again. She's amazing, special. We haven't seen each other in four years, four long years.
Our conversation was strange, somehow unusual. But then again, it's no surprise, since we haven't seen each other for so long.
I grabbed the steering wheel and started the engine. Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Monika's purse. She'd left it on my seat. I have to take it to her. I got out of the car and headed towards the building.
As I entered the stairwell, I realized I didn't know which number she lived at. I wasn't going to go around checking every apartment building to see if Monika lived there.
And her purse? Maybe she had a calendar or keys in it? But looking into her purse like that? I couldn't do that.
Suddenly, an elderly woman started coming down. As she slowly descended one step, her cane fell. I reacted immediately and handed it to her.
"Thank you, young man," she said, descending the last step.
"You're welcome. I have a question—this was my only chance.
" "Yes, what's the matter? I'm here to help," she said, eager to help.
"I'm looking for a woman who lives here, but I don't know the number." She left her purse behind," I showed her. "I have to give it to her."
"What's this woman's name?" she asked.
"Monika Kowalska," I replied.
"I don't recognize her," she replied. "Unfortunately, I don't know... but no, wait—last week a woman moved in. She lives on the fourth floor, on the left." She helped me.
"Thank you very much, ma'am, goodbye," I said.
"Goodbye," she replied.
I went upstairs to the fourth floor. When I got there, I saw that there were two apartments on the left. I first went to the one on the left. I knocked carefully.
A man opened the door.
"Hello, does Monika Kowalska live here?" I asked.
"No, sir," he said. "Ms. Monika lives next door.
" "Thank you very much," I said, then stepped aside.
I went to the next door. I knocked. After a moment, Monika opened the door. She was surprised to see me in the doorway. Probably because we had just said goodbye, and because I didn't know her apartment number.
"Hello," I said, as simply as possible.
"Hi Paweł. What are you doing here?" she asked, surprised.
"You left your purse in my car. I decided to give it to you," I explained.
"Oh, thank you. But how did you know which number I live at? I didn't tell you," she continued, still surprised.
"I had this problem myself at first, but I managed to solve it. Here you are," I handed her the purse.
"Thank you," she replied.
"Well, goodbye then," I turned and headed for the stairs.
"Wait, Paweł. A weary traveler deserves a reward. Won't you come in for a moment? I'll make some tea. Unless you're in a hurry," she suggested.
"Actually, I could come in for a moment..." I had nothing to lose.
"You're welcome in my humble abode," she said, letting me enter the apartment and closing the door. We stood in the small, cozy hallway...
It was getting ready to rain. The clouds were dark, and a gusty wind had sprung up.
I was returning from the store; I'd forgotten a few things while preparing dinner. I've never had a good memory.
The wind was blowing again. It was cold! I was already close, so I quickened my pace. Besides, the TV match was about to start, and I still had to make it to dinner.
Suddenly, I saw a teenager steal a woman's purse a dozen or so meters away. I ran to help. I started chasing the thief.
I was running faster than him, almost having him in my grasp. Unfortunately, just as I was about to catch him, I fell. A woman ran up to me and helped me up.
"Thank you," I said.
"Thank you, sir. You started chasing that thief," she replied.
"Did you steal that purse?" I asked, taking a closer look at her. She had beautiful, shiny, long blonde hair. She was of average height and rather slim.
"Yes, but you shouldn't have run. I mean, I'm grateful," she began to lose her way. "But there was nothing valuable in the purse.
" "Then it's no loss. Maybe we'll meet again sometime. Sorry, I'm in a hurry," I replied.
"I wanted to invite you for a moment; you've been a great help," she suggested.
"I don't know, I don't have much time, but... why not," I agreed.
"I live nearby, we'll have a cup of tea if you're feeling unwell, I won't be offended." She was trying to be polite.
"No, no. Let's go," I replied.
A moment later, we were in front of her apartment building. On the way, I learned that the woman's name was Monika, that she worked as a cashier at a nearby store, and that she was only two years younger than me. Although I didn't learn that last bit of information right away.
"Oh, dear," Monika said.
"Is something wrong?" I panicked.
"The keys to my apartment were in my purse," she explained.
"We can't get in," I said.
"That's not the point, my neighbor has spare keys, but I'll have to change the locks. Let's go upstairs," she replied.
A moment later, we found ourselves in front of her apartment door. Monika turned the key in the lock.
"Come in, welcome to my humble abode," she said.
I entered, and she followed me. We found ourselves in a pleasant, cozy, small hallway.
"Please undress and make yourself at home. The living room is over here," she pointed. "I'm putting on the kettle for tea."
I took off my shoes and coat and headed for the room. I sat on the couch, looking at the decor. In a vase on the table, I saw several yellow, fragrant tulips...
We sat at the table across from each other in the small room that served as the living room. We drank tea. Monika was talking about the apartment, how she'd decorated it, what she still needed to buy or renovate.
"You know, I lied to you," I broke the silence. I decided to tell her the truth. "Actually, I have someone. We've been together for a few months.
" "I see, and was that the person you bought flowers for?" she asked.
"Yes, for her. Her name is Ania. I was late again; we had an appointment, and I bought flowers so she wouldn't be mad at me. I usually do that," I told her.
"Do you love her?" she said bluntly. She never beat around the bush. This supposedly trivial question was incredibly difficult for me. Especially when it was my ex-fiancée who asked it.
"I don't know, I'm being completely honest. I don't know anymore," I was being incredibly serious. That question made me realize a lot.
"Why are you with her?" she didn't understand. "Why, if you don't feel anything for her?
" "I feel something for her," I rebelled. "Of course I do. It's just work... it's killing all my time. I work at Pabloid and work. This company isn't fun. It's a huge investment and incredibly large capital.
" "I know something about that, Paweł. Your career has always been the most important thing to you. It's not a breakthrough. Does that mean you can't see anything beyond it anymore?" she asked another seemingly simple question.
"Stop it, Monika, of course I can," I replied abruptly.
"What day is today?" she asked simply, taking a sip of tea.
"Tuesday, the twenty-fourth," I replied.
"The twenty-fifth, and it's Wednesday," she corrected me.
"Oh, yes, yesterday was Tuesday. It's just exhaustion," I tried to explain.
"Paweł, you can fool me, but you can't fool yourself. Do you want to destroy your relationship, like you destroyed ours once?" This question was the hardest today.
I thought about it. Monika was right. As always, she was right. That very moment of conversation made me realize how many mistakes I'd made in my life. How much I'd lost and how little I'd gained.
I'm not striving for anything. Money, which someone else will always have more of anyway? No! I can't live like this! I have to change, start appreciating the good, the unique things in life.
"Paweł, are you alive?" she snapped me out of my thoughts.
"Yes, Monika. I've been thinking about what you said. I can't go on like this, I don't want to. I have to break up with Ania. I'm sure I never felt anything for her – I'd made an important decision.
" "So why were you with her?" she didn't understand.
"I don't know, I really don't know. Monika, thank you. You've made me realize so much," I smiled at her.
"Calm down, Paweł. Just take it easy." She gently squeezed my hand...
Everything was ready. Dinner, champagne, flowers, a beautiful scent, candles. Everything was arranged down to the last detail.
I was waiting for Monika. Today was our first date. We'd known each other for a few weeks, occasionally meeting up, but today I invited her over for a candlelit dinner.
The doorbell rang. It was definitely her. I opened the door and saw her standing there. She was wearing a beautiful, flowing black skirt and an elegant white blouse. I greeted her and invited her in. We sat down at the table and began eating.
We talked about practically everything, hundreds of topics. After we ate, I turned on some music and asked her to dance. We danced close together. I felt Monika's warmth, her touch, her scent. That's when I was sure of it. I loved her and was willing to do anything for her.
When the song ended, we returned to the table. We continued talking.
"I'll clean up, it's time." I tried to grab the plates.
"No, wait, Paweł," she squeezed my hand. "Get up."
We both stood up. Words were unnecessary. She kissed me, and I kissed her back. We kissed long and passionately. I felt arousal as she gently nibbled the roof of my mouth. I started to take off her blouse. We kept kissing, wanting each other. She placed her hands on my back, moving them as she took off my shirt.
We moved to the bedroom, continuing to undress and kiss.
That's when we spent our first night together and made love for the first time...
I came back to reality. I felt warmth on my hand. Monika was squeezing my hand.
"Are you sure you feel okay?" she asked.
"Yes, as good as ever," I was sure of it.
I stood up, walked over to her, and leaned over her.
"Monika, I still love you," I whispered, and brought my lips to hers. I closed my eyes. I started kissing her, but she didn't return the kiss.
"Paweł..." she said, pulling her head away.
"I'm sorry for everything, again. I can only be happy with you," I said, sounding very serious.
She looked at me with stony eyes. I tried again, touched my lips to hers, and kissed her. This time, she wanted it too.
We kissed long and passionately. We began to undress, heading towards the bed. I lay on top of her, removing her sexy red bra. The same one that had once sealed our separation...
The kitchen clock struck two. A beautiful, golden moonlight streamed in through the window, illuminating the room and Monika, who was sitting at the table. She was lighting a cigarette, nervous. She asked herself why everything had gone so wrong, why wasn't everything like it used to be, so good and wonderful?
I got out of the car. I walked slowly upstairs. Monika's definitely still awake, waiting for me, or rather, for an explanation. Once again, I got home very late.
Everything started to change, unfortunately for the worse, when I got a job at a small company with a friend. Work became so important to me that I began to disregard and destroy my relationship with Monika.
I worked late. But that wasn't the only reason. I met Ola at work. We immediately found common ground, and we became friends from the moment we met. She often asked me for help. Sometimes I was late home precisely for that reason.
After a while, Monika met Ola. Something changed between us immediately. She began to suspect the worst of me, and I had to explain everything. She was jealous of me, but rightly so, because I had never cheated on her and had no intention of doing so.
I entered the house. I took off my shoes and jacket and headed for the kitchen to make dinner. I turned on the light. I saw Monika sitting in a chair, smoking a cigarette.
"Are you still awake?" I asked, utterly surprised.
"I was waiting for you. You were supposed to come early today," she reminded me.
"Sorry, I had to stay longer. I called," I explained.
"Yes, you did—at 8 p.m., and it's two o'clock," she replied. "What were you doing?
" "I was at work, as I say," I raised my voice.
Monika stood up, walked over to me, and sniffed my shirt.
"You smell like women's perfume, as usual," she announced. "Your dinner is in the fridge, good night."
I was utterly surprised, sat down in the chair, and stubbed out her cigarette, which hadn't completely gone out. I noticed it was already her fifth cigarette.
"Monika, wait. I'll explain," I called.
"Yes, I know, Paweł." Ola was there too, hence the smell of perfume," she said, standing in the doorway.
"Monika, I have a job. I can't choose who I work with and who I don't," I replied.
"I know, so keep working. It's just strange that when you proposed, you said you'd do anything for me. Now you can't see that I still love you, and it hurts me when, instead of with me, you spend time at work or with Ola," she said with regret in her voice.
XXX
A few days later, I left for a training course in Krakow. I was sitting in my hotel room working on the computer when suddenly someone knocked.
"Come in," I shouted.
Ola, who had also gone to the training course, entered the room.
"Hi Paweł. Am I interrupting?" she asked, appearing in the room.
"Of course not, Ola. I'll take a short break, I could use it. Would you like something to drink?" I suggested.
"Actually, no," she said.
She looked at me with a smile. I didn't know what to say. Suddenly, she brought her lips to mine and started kissing me. I returned not only the first kiss, but the subsequent ones as well. I couldn't think of anything else, I couldn't. For a moment, I forgot all my problems. She began to lie down on the bed, pulling me with her. She began to undress, and so did I. I gently unclasped her red bra and tossed it beside the bed.
Suddenly, I realized I couldn't do this. I couldn't cheat on Monika. No! I quickly got up and got out of bed.
"No, I can't." I put on a blouse and went to the window. I looked at the stars. I thought about Monika, about her words. She was right to suspect me of an affair. That something was wrong between us.
I turned around; Ola was already dressed. She came over to me, gave me a gentle kiss, and left the room.
I sat down on the bed and held my head.
I sat there for a moment, unable to forgive myself for feeling like betraying Monika. My beloved Monika, for whom not long ago I had been willing to do literally anything.
Suddenly, someone knocked. I thought it was Ola. Had she returned? Why?
"Come in, Ola," I said, opening the door.
Unexpectedly, I saw Monika standing there, suddenly visiting me.
"Ola? Are you waiting for her?" she began without preamble.
"No, what are you doing here?" I was surprised. I let her in.
"I came, I wanted to visit you, Paweł," she explained the reason for her visit. "Make yourself comfortable
. I'm sorry, but I wasn't expecting you," I replied.
"I wanted to surprise you," she said, sitting on the bed. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw something red lying next to the wardrobe. She stood up and picked it up. It was the red bra I'd taken off from Ola a moment earlier.
"What is that?" she looked at me, lifting it up.
"I have no idea how it got here," I lied.
"You're right, I didn't come at the right time," she said regretfully.
"I didn't say that," I replied.
"I did. It's all clear. That's why you were waiting for her." She started to leave.
"Wait, Monika, it's not like that," I tried to convince her.
She slammed the door. I followed her into the hallway. I shouted for her to come back. She ran away. I returned to my room and headed for the bar. I grabbed a bottle of vodka...
The clock struck seven. Monika and I were in bed. We hadn't slept. Not after such a passionate night that had made me realize everything: who I truly loved and what I was striving for in life. I'd wondered a thousand times if there was any way to get Monika back. To at least meet her, look at her for a moment, feel her warmth and scent.
When she left for Łódź after we broke up, I lost all contact with her. She hadn't left me a single number. She didn't want me to call and insist. At first, I was suffering; I couldn't cope. My friend, Michał, tried to pull me out of my slump, often taking me to various meetings and discos. However, I kept thinking about Monika; I was devastated.
Three years ago, I got a job at Pabloid and work. I quickly gained the trust of my then-boss, with whom I soon became friends. I became a shareholder, and after he left for England, the sole owner of the company.
Work filled all my time. After a while, I met Ania, with whom I became close. I was certain that thanks to her, I would forget about Monika and that, in time, I would feel something. I would fall in love.
Now I know that was impossible.
"I have to go," I said slowly, rising from the bed. I started putting on my pants.
"What do you mean? Where are you going in such a hurry?" I thought we were going to have breakfast together—she didn't understand.
"I can't, I'm in a hurry to get to work," I explained.
"Paweł, stop it. Take the day off today, you're the boss," she pleaded.
"I have an important meeting today. I have to sign the contract. We're buying land on which we'll build a supermarket," I told her.
"Supermarket? Where do you want to build it?" she asked.
"Near Warsaw. We'll meet when I get back. I promise I'll come." I put on my shirt and started to leave the room.
"Where exactly?" she persisted.
"Why do you want to know?" I turned to her.
"Can you answer?" she asked.
"There's this area near Marki," I replied.
"There's a housing estate there. That's where we used to live," she reminded me.
"I know, Monika," I replied.
"And you still want to build a supermarket there?" she said, surprised.
"Monika, it's business, a huge profit. Do you know how much money we'll make building a supermarket?" I tried to convince her.
"But that would erase all our memories." We experienced so many beautiful moments there. Besides, several thousand people will lose their homes," she said.
"We'll pay them the appropriate amount," I explained.
"It won't replace a real home, the kind we used to live in. Do you still remember that?" she asked.
"I remember perfectly, Monika," I confirmed.
"And it doesn't bother you at all?" she was disappointed.
"It's moving, but there's nothing I can do," I said.
"Can't you or don't you want to?" she asked.
"I can't, it's too late," I said.
"You said you had to sign the contract," she quoted.
"Yes, the final say is mine," I said.
"So you can back out, it's not too late," she deduced.
"Should I back out just because we used to live there? That's crazy," I replied.
"It's romantic, Paweł. We had our first date there and you proposed to me," she reminded him.
"It's the past. It's not coming back," I said. "
You're right. You haven't changed a bit in four years. Not a bit," she replied.
There was silence for a moment. Those words hurt me deeply.
"It's not fair, Monika," I said.
"I'm telling you how I feel. You're the same. Empty, just like when I left you," she sneered.
I didn't respond, didn't even say goodbye. I left the apartment. A moment later, I was downstairs and in my car. I drove to the office very quickly. I was furious, disappointed. I couldn't comprehend anything. The words "you're the same" rang in my ears...
I was getting ready to leave work. I locked my office and headed for the elevator. Suddenly, I heard someone calling.
"Paweł, wait!" I heard Ola's voice.
"Is something wrong?" I turned and looked at her.
"I have a favor to ask. I'm not very good with this new computer program. Could you help me? Have you finished your work yet?" she asked.
"Yes, I have. But we already talked about this. You have to ask our IT specialist. I'm going home to my fiancée," I said.
"Paweł, please, it won't take long..." she tried to convince me. "
Listen, Ola, I've already explained it to you..." I said.
"Paweł, I just want to explain how this program works," she insisted.
"Okay, let's go to my office..." I replied.
"Thank you," she said.
"I hope it won't take long, I have to be home soon," I emphasized.
"It'll only be a moment," she assured me.
XXX
I returned home around 9 p.m. I quietly entered and headed for the living room. Monika was sitting on the couch, smoking a cigarette.
"I'm here," I replied.
"I see, do you know what time it is?" she asked me.
"Twenty-one," I replied.
"You were supposed to be here two hours ago," she remarked.
"A little late, sorry," I said.
"What stopped you this time?" she said, curious.
"Ola asked me for help..." I confessed.
"Ola always asks you for help," she interrupted, "and you never refuse her, and she's always more important than me."
"Monika, stop. I was just explaining to her how to use the program in my office," I explained.
"You're the same, Paweł—you haven't changed a bit," she remarked.
These words hurt me deeply; I felt a terrible pang in my heart.
"I'm leaving," she said seriously.
"Excuse me?" I looked at her seriously. "What did you say?
" "That we should break up, I can't live like this anymore," she said regretfully.
"Monika..." I walked up to her and squeezed her hand.
"Calm down, I've thought about this decision hundreds of times," she abruptly released her hand.
"Think about it again... Please," I urged her.
"This is the final decision, Paweł. It's over," she emphasized.
After these words, Monika left the room. I sat down on the couch, I couldn't believe it...
I arrived at work. The moment I entered, I saw my friend, Michał.
"Here you are, Paweł, we're starting in a moment," he said, shaking my hand.
"I know, come to the elevator," I shook his hand.
"I'm glad it's all over today. All that's left is the signatures," he emphasized.
"Yes, exactly. This is a very important investment, probably the most important in the history of our company. I can already imagine the profits," I said.
A moment later, we got off the elevator and headed to the conference room. Before entering, I asked the secretary for coffee for everyone. In the room, I greeted everyone present. The only thing missing was the notary. I checked my watch; he should be here any minute.
I kept thinking about Monika. I couldn't forget the harsh words she'd said to me. I'm still the same.
I was so wrong. I thought everything would be fine now. I couldn't abandon such an investment and stay home with her. We'd been planning this for a year, and today was finally the last meeting where we'd sign the papers. At least the truth had come out and everything was clear.
The notary entered the room. I took a sip of the coffee the secretary had just brought and stood up, as did everyone else.
"Everyone's here; I think we can begin," I said seriously.
XXX
Monika was standing in line at the ticket window for a return ticket to Łódź. She wanted to return to the city where she'd last lived today. She'd packed all her things earlier.
I was so disappointed in Paweł. I thought he'd changed. I thought those four years had left some mark on him, that he'd experienced some kind of transformation, that he'd realized what was important in life. I was wrong...
Paweł is still the same. How could I have deceived myself...
Exactly the same as he was four years ago, when we broke up. The same person.
"Please," said the woman at the window, as the man in front of me in line walked away.
"One ticket to Łódź, please, standard fare," Monika replied.
"The next bus leaves in half an hour," she informed her.
"Perfect..." she remarked.
XXX
The meeting began. I briefly spoke about the investment, then the notary took the floor. One by
one, we began signing the agreement for the sale of the land and the construction of a supermarket on it.
Michał signed first, followed by the other shareholders and landowners. Finally, it was my turn. Only my signature remained.
My thoughts were at war in my head. I kept reminding myself of today's conversation with Monika.
Maybe I really shouldn't sign it? After all, it's all up to me. To preserve old memories.
But it's an investment. The greatest profit in the history of Pabloid and work. I got chills all over my body. I couldn't concentrate.
The notary handed me a pen. I brought the contract closer. I touched it to the paper. I started writing...
It was written out, but my signature wasn't on the paper.
Michał handed me his pen, and I took it in my fingers.
I started signing, and suddenly I heard birds singing outside the window. I became lost in thought...
I was sitting on the couch in my old apartment. There was another can of beer on the table. I grabbed it and took a huge swig. I stood up.
I was a mess, unshaven, and dressed in filthy clothes. I went to the window. I looked at the landscape. At life unfolding.
I remembered Monika again. It had been almost two weeks since she left. I drank constantly; I couldn't cope.
My attention was drawn to a family of sparrows that had made a nest on a tree branch. It was right in front of my window.
They were two sparrows standing close to each other. Both were sharing their "meal." I remembered Monika again and all the most beautiful moments. I had lost her forever. I would never get her back.
I left, shedding a tear. I went into my room, opened the cupboard, and grabbed a photo of us together from our camping trip, which I'd been looking at over and over lately. I went to the kitchen, grabbed a box of matches from the shelf, and started burning the photograph.
A moment later, only ash remained.
I was determined. No more worries, no more memories. She wouldn't come back, and I knew it. I had to return to the living.
I went to the bathroom, shaved, and showered.
The next day, I went to work.
I couldn't think like that anymore. I'd never be with her again. And I wouldn't think about her—I made a promise to myself...
No! I stopped thinking about her, and now I know what my next four years were like. I don't want this again! I have to end this.
I put the pen down without signing the contract.
"I can't," I said, and started to walk away.
Everyone was staring at me, no one understanding.
When I reached the door, Michał ran up to me.
"Paweł, what's going on? What's wrong with you?" he asked quietly, grabbing my arm.
"Nothing, we're just not buying this land. I have to take care of something," I said, opening the door.
I left and quickly headed for my car.
I have to go to her. Apologize for everything and ask her to forgive me. I finally realized that Monika is the most important person to me. She's everything to me.
I got in the car and quickly drove to the flower shop. I wanted to buy a bouquet of flowers.
I immediately saw Mrs. Halinka.
"Good morning," I said.
"Hello, Paweł. I saw you here yesterday. What happened again?" She looked at me with a serious look.
"Nothing, Mrs. Halinka. I just need to buy flowers for a certain charming young lady," I explained the reason for my visit to the flower shop.
"Not for Ania? They won't be roses?" she asked.
"I'd like to buy tulips," I replied.
"You're welcome."
Mrs. Halinka began wrapping a bouquet of yellow tulips.
"How did you know she wanted to buy yellow flowers?" I asked, surprised.
"Aren't these Mrs. Monika's favorite flowers?" She looked at me and smiled warmly.
"How do you know about Monika?" I persisted.
"I wasn't going to tell you, but... I simply have to. You have to go to the Central Station quickly, Paweł. Monika wants to go back to Łódź," she warned me.
"I don't understand any of this anymore," I said.
"What's there to understand? You have to get her back. I know you love each other, you have to get there before she leaves," she hinted.
"But how do you know her?" I asked.
"She came to see me, I met her, she asked about you. Today, however, she asked me to say goodbye to you on her behalf." She handed me a bouquet of flowers.
"Thank you, I'm off," I smiled.
I hurried to my car and headed towards the Central Station.
When I almost arrived, someone called my cell phone.
"Hello," I answered.
"Hi, it's Ania." Michał told me you suddenly left the meeting without signing the contract. What's going on? she asked.
"I've decided not to buy the land for the supermarket," I replied.
"But why so suddenly?" she demanded.
"Better late than never. I realized a lot yesterday," I emphasized.
"But, Paweł, everyone there is still waiting," she informed me.
"I won't be coming back. The same goes for you, Ania," I said.
"Excuse me? What are you talking about?" she said, not understanding.
"We have to part ways, I don't love you. I'm sorry, but I have to go," I hung up.
I parked the car in a no-stop spot. I rushed to the station.
I quickly found out where the bus to Łódź departed. When I was informed it was about to leave, I ran to the platform. As I was approaching, the bus started moving.
No! Not yet! Don't leave! No, this can't be happening. I don't agree with this.
I started running after the bus; everyone was staring at me; I was the center of attention at the station. The bus began to go faster and faster. It was parked on the exit road to the main street. I ran diagonally so I could get right in front of it.
I succeeded—I ran out into the street. The driver stopped the bus at the last second. He was furious, waving his arms.
Monika stood up to see what was happening. She saw me. She realized I was the reason the bus had braked. She quickly got off the bus, ignoring the driver, who was shouting at her.
She ran up to me, and I hugged her and handed her a bouquet of tulips.
"I'm sorry for everything, Monika. I didn't sign that contract. I love you, and now I'm sure I'll do anything for you," I said, and started to cry. Tears also rolled down her cheek. We started kissing.
The driver honked, breaking the kiss. We stepped aside, and the bus pulled away. We continued kissing.
XXX
Two weeks passed.
Monika and I were sitting on the couch watching TV. I reached for the remote and turned off the set.
A few days ago, we moved back to our old apartment, where we'd shared so many beautiful moments. We decided to start over.
As for the company, I sold my shares to Michał. It's true, it will take some time, but I helped him. I managed to convince the investors that Pabloid and Work would only buy part of the land near Marki.
I was so happy; everything was back on track with Monika. What am I saying, things were better, much better.
I was only wondering about a few facts about Monika's life.
"You know, I think I'll go to the kitchen and make something to eat," she replied.
"Wait, Monika, I have a question," I said.
"So come with me to the kitchen..." she asked.
"No, we'll go in a moment. Tell me, how did you know Mrs. Halinka?" I had to know.
"It's a long story," she emphasized.
"Tell me, I want to know," I asked.
"Okay," she agreed.
Monika began to tell me.
I was sitting on a chair in my apartment in Lodz, looking through the newspaper for job ads. A week earlier, I'd been fired from a store; I was working as a cashier. They accused me of stealing money, but I didn't do it. I thought it would be best to go back to Warsaw. But I couldn't decide.
Suddenly, I heard the doorbell ring.
I went to answer the door. It turned out to be my friend Krysia. She'd come with some guy, another candidate to win my heart.
Krysia was concerned about me, and I didn't blame her. She worried about me like a mother. I told her about our relationship, our breakup, and our move to Łódź. She decided to find me a new man. She often brought me different men, usually unannounced visits. Just like today.
After about two hours, Krysia and her new suitor left. I finally had some peace. I never told my friend to stop bringing suitors, because I was hoping she'd finally come with the one I loved.
I relaxed, turned on the TV.
And suddenly I heard in the newspaper that Pabloid and Work wanted to buy land to build a supermarket.
I didn't wait a second; I packed my things and left for Warsaw...
"I came here and wanted to find you. I couldn't forget you, and besides, I was incredibly curious about what had been going on with you these past four years," she explained.
"And how did you find Mrs. Halinka?" I asked.
"You were buying flowers once, you went in, and you left. Then I went in and talked to the lady. I learned a little about you. When you were buying another bouquet, I had the opportunity to run into you," she replied.
"I love you, Monika," I assured her.
"I love you too, Paweł," she emphasized.
"I'm glad we cleared everything up," I said.
I saw a smile on her face. The most beautiful I'd ever seen. It was like before again, though honestly, I don't know how it happened.
THE END
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